Are my standards too high?

PurplePillDebate-ModTeam · 2024-09-02T19:20:41+00:00

OPs should be discussion topics, not requests for advice about personal experiences. Requests for personal advice can go in the daily thread.

Cunnin_Linguists · 2024-09-02T18:41:05+00:00

The only thing that stands out is that you said you're overweight but the guy must be active/healthy. Kinda hypocritical no?

shadowrangerfs · 2024-09-02T18:42:59+00:00

It's not to high. It's just that most guys your age aren't gonna want to wait until marriage for sex. You can meet men at church. That's your best bet. If you're in college, check out campus religious organizations.

fredwester · 2024-09-02T18:48:14+00:00

Your standards are not high, per say - but they are niche.

You're looking for a very religious person in a world that is becoming increasingly secular.

That is going to limit you to a small pool of potential partners.

Bikerbats · 2024-09-02T18:19:18+00:00

I wouldn't say unrealistic, but it is a very small dating pool, and if you aren't active in the social circles where you will find those types of men, it's going to be rough. Even in Christian circles, it's rare to find the young man or woman who has remained chaste.

srwat · 2024-09-02T18:55:28+00:00

This is possible but a guy with no bodies at all usually will mean he is severely socially stunted aside from extreme exceptions.

Though that being said there are some extremely attractive guys that have gone celibate by choice, but finding one of those would be extremely rare. You're more likely to find a guy that doesn't know how to banter, do fun conversations, or anything else requiring higher level social skills at 0 bodies.

That'd be tough to deal with unless you want every single conversation you have with him to be of a logical nature since that would be the highest likelihood. Not saying he can't learn to be sexier, but it's worth pointing out.

cantwrapmyheadaround · 2024-09-02T18:32:23+00:00

might catch flak for this but seeing through a logical lens and believing in god are somewhat going to conflict. faith and logic are somewhat discordant, although I do see it as possible.

StruggleMuffin75 · 2024-09-02T18:33:43+00:00

I've seen this issue a lot with religious girls.

There are TONS of this type of boy out there. Go to any church and they're there by the dozen, every Sunday.

The problem is, they're not sexually attractive to women. They're dorks. Not the nerds girls fall in love with, the socially poor, don't know how to dress themselves type of dorks. The ones that act homeschooled and look like Carl Wheezer.

You wanting what you've listed isn't unreasonable at all.

You wanting what you've listed AND wanting him to be hot, attractive and to excite you is unreasonable.

IdiAminD · 2024-09-02T18:37:46+00:00

Come to Eastern Poland - guys meeting your standards are dime a dozen. But you need to convert to Roman Catholic.

M3taBuster · 2024-09-02T18:40:41+00:00

Not only are they not too high, but they're actually good standards to have.

GH0STRIDER579 · 2024-09-02T18:23:08+00:00

You sound like an ordinary woman who grew up around my local religious community. Your standards are reasonable as long as you don't date in a decidedly secular crowd. Out of curiosity, what denomination are you? I only ask because that actually matters as having your own religious community will be essential for you.

purplish_possum · 2024-09-02T19:14:21+00:00

You want someone who irrationally belives in an imaginary sky daddy?

That's a huge red flag for most high value men.

Thunderjaw4955 · 2024-09-02T18:14:20+00:00

Your standards are valid, men these days are just overwhelmingly low quality.

alebruto · 2024-09-02T18:51:43+00:00

Your standards are reasonable if they are really those, considering your age.

Keep it up, many women wait until they get older or have children to supposedly have the standards you have.

NotReallyTired_ · 2024-09-02T18:26:45+00:00

It's not that your standards is high or unrealistic, but that the type of man that you're looking for is most likely going to be a bit stiff and awkward. But if you don't mind it, more power to you.

AutoModerator · 2024-09-02T18:10:44+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "Debate" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

Lovers691 · 2024-09-02T18:25:53+00:00

They are high but not in a superficial or unrealistic way, have you tried church?

obviousredflag · 2024-09-02T19:04:36+00:00

I think it's super unrealistic. But you don't seem to have a problem with unrealistic things, considering your religious beliefs.

Electric_Death_1349 · 2024-09-02T18:30:14+00:00

Oh, come on - we’re not going to fall for this! It’s also against the sub rules, so you’re waisting your time

BeerNinjaEsq · 2024-09-02T18:36:09+00:00

You're focus on conservative, Christian men waiting for marriage is setting you up for a bad time. I genuinely wish the best for you. The odds aren't in your favor

My wife's best friend is from a similar background. She's a goodlooking, former cheerleader, ivy-league educated, black female doctor from a Christian background who chose to wait until marriage. She mostly couldn't find interested men. After two or three failed relationships, she's finally getting married next month. She's 36.

Redpill-mind · 2024-09-02T18:53:40+00:00

Am just gonna have fun with this:

Has to fear the Lord and love the Lord

Definitely not me lol, either we fear being struck by lightning or love going to church

if a man has even one body or more, it’s an automatic no).

Definitely not me, maybe in my teens sure but am far from this standard

I don’t care about height (I’m 5’9)

Lol

just be active)

I mean l go the clubs so idk if that's active

Desires to start a family

Someday, rn my finances say otherwise

Believes in traditional roles

I don't believe in traditional roles so nope

Is rooted in obedience for God to help with his problems in life

Definitely not me although shout out to the church

Knows about forgiveness and humility to himself and others around him

I know about forgiveness and humility but doesn't mean my actions will say so

Sees through a logical lens (though it’s totally normal for men to be emotional when times get rough)

OK shit still has to be done about it

Doesn’t use any drugs for leisure but moderated alcohol consumption is fine

Not me in my teens/early 20s but I'll always had a moderate alcohol consumption

Ripley_Riley · 2024-09-02T18:32:20+00:00

Even among my Christian friends no premarital sex is seen as weird. Two people can have different sexual needs, maybe wildly different turn ons and turn offs. Not determining those needs and kinks early in a relationship can make a LTR more difficult.

You are also removing many potentially good men from your dating pool by requiring men to be virgins. If he's had one sexual partner that's one too many? Really? That seems extreme.

The rest of your requirements are entirely feasible and I wish you the best of luck!

Title	Are my standards too high?
Author	throwawaysoon333
Upvotes	0
Comments	98
Date	September 2, 2024 6:10 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1f7dlv9/are_my_standards_too_high/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-my-standards-too-high.1529175 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529175

Comments