Do you ever just randomly cry?

Mental_Antelope_7202 · 2025-02-08T03:09:03+00:00

I cried today watching American Underdog.

Pretend_Line6688 · 2025-02-07T08:16:38+00:00

I was w/ my ex for 8 yrs, married for 4. I tear up every now & then when I think about how things played out because I miss her & even tho I'm the one that moved out & eventually filed for divorce that wasn't my goal. I was really hoping we could work it out. So now, unfortunately it seems like everything reminds me of her. I take it in stride & know that grieving the relationship & losing my best friend will take time. I don't fully break down anymore & the tears that do come don't come as often . Best of luck to you, it takes time

CarnageTheBear · 2025-02-06T02:39:10+00:00

Yup, the worst is when there's nothing to keep you busy. You're like, "Where's the family?" Then that bitch lonliness slaps you back to reality.

qtipheadosaurus · 2025-02-05T14:42:42+00:00

For some reason I get sad and teary at supermarkets and department stores. Maybe those are the places that is most closely associated with a notion of a traditional "family," which no longer exists.

Hang in there. Find things for yourself. It gets better.

Initial_Topic_4989 · 2025-02-04T23:21:17+00:00

Oh adultery subreddit... I don't know what to say...

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2025-02-04T16:19:17+00:00

First six months: DAILY

Second six months: Weekly

Third six months: A whole lot less.

Its GOOD to cry it out and feel the emotions. Leaving it all bottled up is no good. Therapy is a must. Talking to trusted friends/family is a must (please note most people will listen for about a year then it becomes old news/repetitive so a paid therapist is ideal for long term venting)

Do the work now so you're not suddenly trying to process this years after the fact.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-02-04T15:08:36+00:00

Not so often anymore.

CorporateNonperson · 2025-02-04T14:46:37+00:00

Sure. Frequency has lessened, but I'd say about once a month now.

Weirdest things trigger it. Started to reread a book the other day, and it just hit me. Welled up in tears. Five minutes later I was fine.

BlueHarvest17 · 2025-02-04T14:32:58+00:00

Definitely. The one I remember most is, I went to Costco, saw a storage bin that my wife and I had been talking about getting for storing outdoor couch cushions, and it totally broke me.

Best thing to do is let yourself FEEL those emotions. Don't push them away. It's part of the healing/grieving process.

And know that it shows you're a great dad. I too feel terrible for my sweet, wonderful daughter. But the fact that we feel that way means we'll do the best for them.

THX1138-22 · 2025-02-04T13:12:13+00:00

Yes, I would have overwhelming feelings of sadness and thoughts of suicide that just came out of the blue, several times a week, for more than a year. I could be just walking down the street and it would hit me. There was nothing I could do about it, and I had to just clutch the railings and hope that it would pass in 10 min? An hour? I could never know. I understand now why the suicide rate for men after divorce is almost 8 times higher than for women. It’s truly a terrible thing that our society and judicial system ignores this fact and throws men to the curb. How does the judicial system address this? By requiring that men get life insurance, as a standard clause in divorce settlements, to ensure they can pay off the alimony from the grave. How is it that we, as men, accept this utterly terrible and unethical treatment? To a certain extent, we have ourselves to blame for not speaking up more.

Once I found a new purpose in life, one that wasn’t centered around my perpetually disgruntled ex-wife, and found a healthier relationship (seee the Gatekeepers book by Shawn Smith), it went away. Sure, it would be great if I could “not need anyone“ but I think people who say that are ignoring the fact that humans are social beings and we are made, on a cellular level, to need intimate social connection, except for the 5% of us who are introverts. Until someone develops gene therapy to remove that from the 30+ trillion cells in our body, we just need to accept who we are.

Helpful-Paramedic463 · 2025-02-04T12:41:43+00:00

It's normal. My wife and I signed our separation agreement this week. She cheated on me and I should be angry and hate her but I still have very strong feelings for her. Actually had some tears this morning on the way to work. It's normal and part of the process. Let it happen and don't hold it in.

regertsrus · 2025-02-04T12:26:27+00:00

Yes that is normal. I am as hard as they come. God help you if you mouth off to me. I was never scared of anyone. I paid the price many times for the lack of fear. I still am. But seeing pain and feeling it was never my shortfall. Losing access to my kids briefly after i realized my wife is a pathological liar and cheat, destroyed me. Random panic attacks daily, dibilitated me for a year. A hardener man with a life full of violent and traumatic events that unphased me, turned into a complete unstable mess due to brief loss of access to my kids. It wasnt until i realized that i am not scared of losing anything, not scared of this court clerk circle jerk, the judge, the false cps and police reports, the false orders of protection and countless malignant actions by a pathological liar, that i finally and fully recovered. And now i am getting it all back. My sanity, my smile, my humor, my kids (possibly about to take custody from 50/50), my work, my fun, my hope and trust. Let it all go man. One flawed piece of advice i see here is "dont leave your house". It is horrible advice given 99% of the time. I do understand this may be the only way without money and support network. However if you have money, have support and family, and you decided to stay in the home with a milignant liar, then you deserve the strife you feel. As for my kids? They fared ok. When they finally realized i turned the corner and that I am not scared of anyone. That the constant and unyilding affronts were received with humor and a total lack of concern, they emulated this too. They do well in school. They dont need a shrink. They are happy, friendly and perfect. Get better bro. Your kids depend on your ability to walk upright and have no fear in spite of trauma, deceit and aggressors.

John_Yossarian · 2025-02-04T12:07:39+00:00

Every day for the first three months after I moved out. Grieving the life I wanted for my son that was ripped away from me. Now just once every two or three weeks. But most recently, tears of happiness when a song came on that hit just right and reminded me of how far I've come. It gets better.

ww3historian · 2025-02-04T10:55:06+00:00

Never cry

jabbo142 · 2025-02-04T10:32:50+00:00

I truly hope you are able to turn your situation around. If you can't, it's better for children to grow up in 2 happy homes rather than one angry one. They're resilient. If the worst happens, they will be ok. God bless. I wish you the best with your journey.

Suspicious_Dot6179 · 2025-02-04T07:54:09+00:00

God is changing ur situation bro. And the kids will be fine if u both focus on them and not yourselves

waste-plan · 2025-02-04T07:46:30+00:00

I say stay strong my dude try to see if you can change the direction of your marriage if possible.

No_Pace2396 · 2025-02-04T07:33:59+00:00

All the time. I never wanted this for my kids. Keep it private. In family court a man crying when he’s going thru hell is a sign of serious mental illness. But what you’re feeling is valid, shows you know what’s important and what’s at risk.

Ladiesman94952 · 2025-02-04T07:16:40+00:00

I'm a movie cryer... no idea why

Movieman_Steve · 2025-02-04T03:39:39+00:00

I cried one time in public, luckily I was at a Prince tribute concert. When the first notes of Purple Rain started, I just lost it cause I knew then that my stbx didn't love me anymore by way of being served divorce papers. All the stress of the divorce proceedings just came out that night. Be strong in front of your kids but don't be afraid to cry when alone. We're all here for you.

Title	Do you ever just randomly cry?
Author	Affectionate_Break11
Upvotes	30
Comments	38
Date	February 4, 2025 3:29 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1ih8gw1/do_you_ever_just_randomly_cry/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/do-you-ever-just-randomly-cry.1542926 https://theredarchive.com/post/1542926

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