Alimony paid to lower wage earning husband in California

LashkarNaraanji123 · 2025-02-07T11:58:33+00:00

Go get it. Just like women can get alimony without it effecting custody, so can you!

Fat_Lenny · 2025-02-07T02:37:17+00:00

Same situation for me but in Oregon. She even made me file, when she was the one who decided without discussion that were divorcing. She was happy to just start living like we were divorced and let me hang in limbo.

In the filing, I asked for less than the calculator says and for a shorter time period. She is furious at the thought of writing a check for any amount. If she contests, I will go for the full amount for the maximum time.

I did all the housework, yardwork, cooking, laundry, took kids to school, and worked part time for a few years after covid and worked full time during covid AND did the homeschooling thing. I was unemployed for a couple of years partly due to massive depression and anxiety that she caused me but I will still the domestic slave. She even said I had been living 'rent free' so that shows you what she thinks a marriage is.

I'm working full time, at a job she encouraged me to get that fits her schedule so I'm off on Friday when the kids have no school and can them in the morning.

She left the house (again without discussion), took the kids, and now bitche's that I don't make enough effort to take the kids. Bitches that my job isn't good enough. Says she left for fear of me doing something violent but wants me to come get the kids‽

Wants me to move out when I can't afford a one-bedroom apartment anywhere near the kids' school and complains to me about how hard it is for her to find and afford a place when she makes 3X what I do.

I'm dealing with straight crazy. She also said 'it's harder to get money out of my 401k than I thought, so I'm going to file a petition as a DV victim to avoid the taxes and penalty.' They require no evidence.

Fun times. Get money, brother.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2025-02-06T22:24:49+00:00

You better get it sir.

Boomhower113 · 2025-02-06T03:45:48+00:00

Grab that bag, son! Do it for the rest of us!

Thebadmamajama · 2025-02-06T02:59:39+00:00

There's a formula in California they follow if you're a lower income earner. Dissomaster, not sure if I'm spelling it right.

Go for it.

Get that first. You could probably ask for it for the rest of your life. You can also settle with a buyout, so you can get more assets so they can avoid future obligations

pk2at · 2025-02-05T22:30:47+00:00

Grab as much as you can, income situation may not stay the same

Annual-Cobbler9245 · 2025-02-05T21:40:57+00:00

Take it. She’s strong & independent, right?

Equal rights can be a bitch sometimes.

dfb54749014 · 2025-02-05T21:30:46+00:00

Yes sir it is possible. I'm not in California but my Ex makes almost 2.5X what I do. So I negotiated Alimony on top of the CS I get (50/50 custody).

Of course, she thought I deserved nothing. So I showed her the calculator and said I could receive X amount. I was only asking for a little less than 1/2 of that amount.

Long story short she eventually agreed rather than me taking it before the judge.

Has it affected co-parenting? No. But there is some animosity. She made some comment about how she is basically paying my mortgage every month for the next 5 years between the Alimony and CS. Which isn't entirely true, but... oh well. 🤷🏼‍♂️

Pmoneywhazzup · 2025-02-05T18:32:17+00:00

I would, if she has it, waive alimony for an appropriate lump sum. Maybe a transfer from her 401k or IRA to yours? Streams of payments can stop for various reasons.

domo_roboto · 2025-02-05T17:51:52+00:00

Yes sir, you are entitled to it. If the situation were reversed, they would not bat an eye. Go forth and take that spousal support. Timeframe could be indefinite too which she may want to negotiate.

One-Wish1955 · 2025-02-05T17:42:08+00:00

Hopefully the support is more than able to buy you a “Happy Meal!”

EnvironmentalAd3558 · 2025-02-05T17:09:53+00:00

In California alimony (called Spousal Support there) is for an indefinite time after the divorce and ends upon death of the payor or marriage of the recipient unless waived. But that means if she becomes disabled that you could end up paying her. If you can support yourself from your earnings you might want to consider a mutual waiver so that there are no future financial entanglements with her.

leaving4me · 2025-02-05T17:01:04+00:00

Division of assets and spousal support are separate of parenting time and child support. Residential parent or the parent who has more time in the order will receive CS with adjustment for insurance, espenses, and disparety in income. If you have 50/50 and can swing dual residency she could be on the hook for CS to YOU even if she has an additional night.

As for alimony, that's purely based on term of marriage and disparety in income. This can be something you leverage for parenting time if she is fighting you on 50/50 in order to come to an agreement. If you are not cohabitating with another significant other there is a world where you could recieve both alimony and child support.

waby-saby · 2025-02-05T17:01:00+00:00

As someone who pays a lot of alimony, and probably will forever, the hate will grow every single day. There will be resentment. If that is what you are referring to.

RespectInevitable479 · 2025-02-05T15:54:06+00:00

If you’re not the primary parent then you will still pay cs

Conscious_Task281 · 2025-02-05T15:04:40+00:00

Take the money while it’s there. If you are co-parenting then you’ll probably be set to receive Child Support from her also. My Ex here in VA pays me around 450 a month or so in CS and it doesn’t affect our coparenting at all. Just depends if you have a bat shit crazy ex or someone who is sane and understands what all this is truly for.

Exactly65536 · 2025-02-05T15:01:31+00:00

Do you mean the legal aspect of it or emotional? Emotionally people who earn more usually feel punished for being better at earing money; they rarely see it as fair regardless of gender.

AvacodoCartwheeler · 2025-02-05T15:00:44+00:00

It's rare for men to get alimony, and when we do the women go ape shit about being forced to pay A MAN their fair share.

So expect her to be batshit crazy about it and sleep soundly on a pillow stuffed with her money, because fuck her.

Title	Alimony paid to lower wage earning husband in California
Author	question_y_not
Upvotes	25
Comments	40
Date	February 5, 2025 2:55 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1iibs8v/alimony_paid_to_lower_wage_earning_husband_in/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/alimony-paid-to-lower-wage-earning-husband-in.1543050 https://theredarchive.com/post/1543050

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