Wedding photos

THX1138-22 · 2025-03-21T16:03:27+00:00

What is she planning to do with them once you give them to her? Isn't it a bit hypocritical for her to scold you for wanting to keep them, and then for her to ask that you give them to her? Why does she get to keep them, but you don't? You are not even married anymore--she has no control over you or right to tell you what to do, or right to scold you. I hope you can see how the tone of your post suggests that you are still letting her control you.

I've digitized all my photos and while I don't anticipate looking at them (I don't think I would ever display my wedding photos with my ex, though, on a mantel or something), I think it is important to honor the past. .

Zealousideal_Try_864 · 2025-03-18T14:49:36+00:00

The fact that mine wanted to get rid of them and erase that part of her life shows who she is. It's all part of your life story.

I have a whole box of all of our wedding stuff in the closet. Every once and a while she will send our child back with more.

One day when it is age appropriate we will go through them. In the end the marriage ended up being shitty, but the wedding was amazing.

It's more super weird that you care about her opinion. You caring about her opinion is why you are divorced and this is yet another way she is still trying to control you.

You can't go the rest of your life trying to make everyone else happy and guess what they're thinking. You need to set some boundaries and look out for yourself. It will take awhile. I am not quite there yet myself.

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2025-03-18T01:23:03+00:00

I burnt all of them, therapeutic.

Pretend_Line6688 · 2025-03-17T12:28:01+00:00

To me it sounds weird that your ex finds it weird that you'd want to hold onto memories. They made you who you are. Even if you trash them down the line, I don't see the problem in wanting pics. But I may be biased. I took the wedding video & pics w/ me when I left. 🤷🏾‍♂️

PriorPineapple3778 · 2025-03-17T00:37:19+00:00

As others say, keep them. It's a part of your life narrative. Are we now supposed to erase history? If so, it now gets done on your terms not hers. She has no say on the matter

ImSoFatMyDogIsSad · 2025-03-16T19:10:34+00:00

You should ask her to return all wedding photos to you as you think it's weird she wants to keep them. What kind of double standard is going on where they're all hers?

NC_Geezus · 2025-03-16T15:27:42+00:00

Scan them with a high res scanner and then give them back to her. Then tell her to leave you the F alone.

VeteranEntrepreneurs · 2025-03-16T13:56:30+00:00

It was your wedding too, and if it meant something to you, then keep them. At some point you won’t want them anymore But if you have kids they might want them one day. I would tell her to fxxk off

Commercial_Music_931 · 2025-03-16T13:44:11+00:00

Scares her? Sounds childish. What could possibly be scaring about that. It was a critical and defining moment (or at least should be) in both of yalls lives. I kept mine for my boy so he can see one day. The kids will at some point be interested to know the story. How did mom and dad meet etc shit like that.

Keep the photos. Don't turn over jack shit. If she wants to bury it and pretend it didn't happen then too fking bad. It's not like your sitting there crying over the photos.

biscuts99 · 2025-03-16T11:35:26+00:00

Naw man. It's still a major part of your life. Keep the photos.

Note: assuming you're mentally stable and not crying over the photos every night while drunk. That would be bad.

Reflog1791 · 2025-03-16T10:22:57+00:00

If this problem is your big divorce problem you doing fine G.

rocknharley02 · 2025-03-16T02:36:24+00:00

Its a part of your life, what does she need them for? Wtf is the matter with people?

InspectionOk3946 · 2025-03-16T02:06:49+00:00

“I’m keeping these. You’re not getting them back. Stop talking to me about this. The conversation is over.” Then walk away.

Or add I don’t care what scares you fuck your feelings. I’m keeping these. Fuck what you think is weird. Have a blessed day.

She’s sick man.

Gattsama · 2025-03-16T01:20:28+00:00

It's not weird at all. Those are part of your life and your story. You can give them to the kids someday if you choose. She's just trying to control the situation. She is not your wife. She is the eX. Ignore her.

Also, it's a super minor but actually important point. It's not my eX wife; it's the eX wife. She's no longer yours or anything. It's a small but important mental difference. Some divorced guys still say my wife, but often that is coming from a place of a connection that no longer exists.

A lot of us have been trained, conditioned, and choose to surrender power to the eX, and even in divorce, don't want to upset her and be compliant.

SensibleGarcon · 2025-03-16T00:23:43+00:00

I think she just feels guilty because she probably thought you didn't care about those sorts of memories, even memories that included her, and now she's seeing another side of you - one she failed to realize until now. She thought she knew you, but really she had no idea. So now she wants to make you out as being weird. Fk that btch. Those are your memories too.

Women think they own the emotional, empathetic, and sentimental spectrum while they discount anything human about men in general - as they stereotype us all as misogynistic and egotistical creatures. In all actuality, it is they who often miss the big picture. And then they go filing divorce or force us to finally divorce them after all their judgmental and erratic behaviors based on misperceptions and backless accusations.

Disloyal, materialistic, backbiting and vengeful creatures are what they are, especially once they roost up with like-minded "hens" in the divorcee coop.

In the very least, make copies of those photos ASAP, NOW, with your mobile phone camera. When you're not watching, out of spite she may destroy them all as she shreds them to pieces and with her evil witch laugh, "At least HE will never have the pleasure of looking at these photos again!"

Ever read about those demented mothers who drive themselves off a cliff with their four little kids in the back or who drown them all in the bathtub and then off themselves? Women can be just as violent as men, and often it's out of spite and vengeance vs the father.

Act fast and act quickly. Save those precious memories for you and your children, because you can't always count on an emotionally unstable woman to do it. It's the logical thing to do as a man.

Slowloris81 · 2025-03-15T20:50:17+00:00

It’s not weird. I filed against my abusive ex but I still kept the wedding albums because they were formative memories with family that to me aren’t tainted by who she later became. Also want to save them for the kids if they want to see one day.

Ok-Cause1108 · 2025-03-15T19:30:01+00:00

First x-wife?

Yep that is werid as fuck my guy to keep wedding photos of prior ex-wives.

EvalCrux · 2025-03-15T19:29:55+00:00

They are part of your story, don’t let her take them from you. She’s just random #1. Try blocking instead.

Paddle_Pedal_Puddle · 2025-03-15T19:23:24+00:00

You know what’s the best part of no longer being married to her? You don’t have to care about her opinion anymore.

Grafixx5 · 2025-03-15T18:50:08+00:00

I will probably keep some although don’t think she will keep any. I will keep them for our three kids but they will be in boxes and/or digital.

winterichlaw · 2025-03-15T18:04:10+00:00

No it’s not weird to keep them, and it’s not weird to get rid of them. If you’re splitting amicably I would keep half of the originals, and give her the other half and make copies. The low-grade harassment is either her being a control freak or simply not letting go.

Nothoughtiname5641 · 2025-03-15T17:54:48+00:00

Not at all, they were a part of our growth as men!! I haven't removed pics of her off my social media. Everytime i look back it shows me the bigger person I've become!!

Title	Wedding photos
Author	Background_Stomach69
Upvotes	17
Comments	34
Date	March 15, 2025 5:20 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1jc04pe/wedding_photos/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/wedding-photos.1546629 https://theredarchive.com/post/1546629

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