These topics may seem unrelated on the surface. But I promise you each topic is related.

So I'm splitting this post into 3 parts.

Part 1: Male loneliness epidemic.

I think if men stop caring about validation and approval. There wouldn't be a lonely epidemic? Women are often consider empowered and independent when they are single. If men had that same attitude. There wouldn't be no lonely male epidemic.

Because the only reason why the lonely male epidemic exists in the first place. Is because men tied their value to relationships or put women on a pedestal.

It seems like society wants to have their cake and want to eat it too.

On one hand society doesn't want men to complain about not having romantic relationships with women, because that would make men whinny entitled incels or little"bitches". But on the other hand. Society still expects men to base their value and success with on romantic relationships with women though. Hence why even the most progressive people (BOTH MEN AND WOMEN) use terms like virgin or gay as insults on men.

Part 2: Gender Equality.

A lot of people who believe in gender equality, don't actually believe in true gender equality though. Because true gender equality is unappealing to most people.

Gender equality is so unappealing to average person. To the point that benevolent sexist men are more likely to get positive reactions from women. Even a lot of women view benevolent sexist men as "pro women" because of chivalry or having specific special treatment for women. There are studies about this.

The worst thing a man can do in society, is treat women like true equals. Men are more likely to be viewed as misogynistic when they treat women like equals.

Of course this is ironic and backwards. But again like I said most don't believe in true equality.

Part 3: Positive Masculinity.

Positive masculinity" is just traditional masculinity without of the negatives of traditional masculinity. So "positive masculinity" as it is described revolves around the same gender roles in today's day and age but without the bad shit attached to it. "Positive masculinity" still requires men to adhere to socially traditional norms for men.

A lot of supposedly "progressive" takes for masculinity boil down to "different ways men should provide but at the same time putting on a new performative act while doing so". They often look more like an incoherent shopping list of wants from us more than anything else and differ from traditional masculinity only in removing perceived privileges while still imposing strict gender roles for men.

So "positive masculinity" is just pseudo traditional masculinity with a feminist gaze. Cakism is the theme of this post.

In conclusion.

We are only having these issues with men. Because most people still expect men to adhere to traditional gender roles in a progressive/modern society. It's a oxymoron, it's a paradox, and it's a contradiction.