I’m a heterosexual-American man and I believe it’s wrong for men to call female sex workers “damaged goods.” Why is this still a mentality?

BearSpray007 · 2025-03-29T07:49:03+00:00

Why is it a given that men would do sex work if they could? I wouldn’t.

Also why is it wrong to judge someone based on the choices they have made that MAY have a profound impact on them (or may be evidence of some issues they already have) and that may impact your relationship.

Why is it that it seems that men can be easily disqualified and seen as unsafe or unsuitable sometimes even for things OTHER men have done, but for women? Nothing short of violence or infidelity can disqualify them. I think shamelessness has actually been very detrimental to our modern culture.

bread93096 · 2025-03-29T07:45:26+00:00

I appreciate your open mindedness, but let me ask you this: have you ever actually dated a sex worker?

I had an onlyfans page with a long term gf for about a year. It was her idea, but originally I was all for it. She was hot, we had a great sex life, and I wanted to show it off.

In time I realized that while I don’t have shame around sex, I’m a deeply private person and don’t want that aspect of my life to be a commodity for the enjoyment of weird perverts online. And ultimately they were there for her, not me - hundreds of men who’d I’d never met were masturbating to nude videos of my beloved girlfriend, something that was meant to be shared solely between the two of us. It made me unhappy and jealous and caused harm to the relationship. I said I didn’t want to do it anymore and asked her to take her page down, and she did, but she wasn’t happy about it because she was making about $2k/month. That was probably a large factor in why we ultimately broke up.

After that I said never again. I will not seriously date a woman who posts videos of herself masturbating online in exchange for money. That seems like a pretty reasonable standard for a man to have.

LoopyPro · 2025-03-29T07:54:43+00:00

I don't believe it's possible to be in a healthy LTR with a sex worker. Too many boundaries regarding intimacy would be crossed. That stuff can't be undone and often goes hand in hand with underlying psychological issues. Therefore, the term "damaged goods" applies. It's not some kind of switch you could easily flip.

This doesn't mean that they can't be good or nice people. They're just unfit as a long-term partner.

NockerJoe · 2025-03-29T07:43:31+00:00

How noble of you to volunteer to date an onlyfans model, the one type of sex worker not required to either go out or interact with anyone in person. Such a majestic gesture. I wish all men were as forward thinking and open minded as to date Internet Bikini Models.

ForGiggles2222 · 2025-03-29T07:47:21+00:00

Men are also seen negatively for not fucking enough, goes both ways

Superannuated_punk · 2025-03-29T08:59:59+00:00

Telling sex workers they’re fucked up is mean.

No - that doesn’t mean you have to date one.

Just don’t be a dick.

KayRay1994 · 2025-03-29T07:26:19+00:00

Most of it has to do with dehumanization and a view of a woman’s worth tied to her sexual performance/ experience. Purity culture has a lot to do with it as well.

Now, I want to be clear - I’m not saying everyone has to do be okay with dating sex workers, I wouldn’t date a sex worker - a nude model, sure, I would, but not a sex worker (I don’t consider nude modeling to inherently or always be sex work), though at the same time I find there is a general approach of “if she has proven herself to be ‘dirty’ she isn’t worthy”’and I think that in itself is wrong - have a preference, just be sure it’s coming from a place of your own personal values and not based on looking down at others

Nidken · 2025-03-29T07:29:27+00:00

Men can do sex work what are you talking about?

The mentality exists because both men and women continue to believe that female chastity is valuable. Just look at the insults women use against each other, "slut" and "whore" are defaulted to for a reason.

just_a_place · 2025-03-30T05:45:16+00:00

"Why is this still a mentality"

Same reason why "Fire burns" is still a mentality: Because it is a Fact! 🤨

The most lazy argument is presenting your opinion that something is not the case, only because you think it isn't, and then challenging the rest of us to prove reality to you. It doesn't work that way my man,

You nee to explain to us how and why you think that hookers aren't damaged goods when all the evidence we see says otherwise: physically they are prone to STDs, and mentally they are prone to a whole slew of emotional and even psychiatric issues. Now explain to us how this is not the case.

Kreeps_United · 2025-03-29T07:33:47+00:00

Two separate issues.

Sex workers deserve respect just like anyone else. The worst part of the disrespect they receive is that it comes from men who partake in sex work. They watch porn, go to strip clubs, pretended Ice Spice was good, everything. I'm completely with you on not judging women for being sex workers.

I would be willing to date an onlyfans model IRL. As long as she didn’t fuck others and did solo stuff.

That's your comfort level and there's nothing wrong with it. I'd probably say the same. What I'm against is putting our comfort levels on other men. If someone doesn't feel good about it, that's their business.

And yes, women have a right to not date short men or poor men or whatever.

tms79 · 2025-03-29T08:09:02+00:00

I always wondered, how men physically look, if they take this kind of stance regarding ex prostitutes or prostitutes, that you are taking. Yes, i am deliberately using the word prostitute, because "sex worker" is this new age euphemism as the good old George Carlin would say, if he would be still alive. I consider doing sexual content on Onlyfans also as prostitution, it's just the modern version of it. This may sound a bit shallow, but do you consider yourself being physically attractive to the opposite sex? Please be honest.

I think the majority of attractive men who have options would not consider a prostitute as a partner for a LTR. It's like the majority of women, who would not consider a relationship with a dude, who works at McDonald's. Do i think there can be ex prostitutes or prostitutes, who would make a great longterm partner, who has all the important traits, that men are looking for? Yes. Are those the majority? I personally believe no.

Parrotsandarmadillos · 2025-03-29T12:09:20+00:00

Sex workers are people too and should be treated with respect. That said I’d personally never date one because the amount of shady shit and baggage is too much to deal with. Most women who work in this industry are abused, mentally unwell, and often substance dependent. It’s heart breaking really. Many of these women don’t want to do it and see no other choice.

Sex should at the very least be a product of desire and trust. Not paying for it. That way less people get hurt.

Independent-Mail-227 · 2025-03-29T12:44:13+00:00

Men and women are valued differently, do you think that is unfair for men to be called loosers when they're jobless without any relationship at the age of 30? Because even if you do the majority of women don't.

Ugly obless man without previous relatioships are seen with digust and contempt to women.

Women with a lot of partners are seen with digust and contempt to women.

Why should it matter?

It indicates a lack of self respect.

Schleudergang1400 · 2025-03-29T13:22:38+00:00

In my opinion I think it’s very unfair to judge women for being sex workers because if men could do it we would too and at a greater volume than women.

men and women are different.

I’d be willing to date an ex porn actress or stripper. Her being naked online or having sex tapes would not be a problem for me.

The damaged goods part is not about what she does or that she fucked people for money, it's what is damaged in her to begin with, to pick such a profession and what kind of damage happens to her during that time of being in that business.

If you think that sex workers are representative of the general public in terms of mental health and ability to lead loving and secure romantic relationships, you are in for a treat.

moppingflopping · 2025-03-29T16:05:17+00:00

It takes a special kind of trouble to get a woman to negate everything she's been told to her entire life. Certain choices need you to be at least a little bit fucked up in the head in order for them to be made...

If you spent a little bit of time with sex workers, you would know that.

Does that mean you have to be mean to them and call them 'damaged goods'? Absolutely no.

SteveSan82 · 2025-03-29T07:31:40+00:00

They are damaged goods. Accept reality or keep being a cuck simp

Proudvow · 2025-03-29T08:12:16+00:00

A lot of women's standards are even more unfair. That's life.

In my opinion I think it’s very unfair to judge women for being sex workers because if men could do it we would too and at a greater volume than women.

No proof.

Unless a dude sees prostitutes you can't reliably assume that he'd enter sex work.

Why should it matter? So what there is video of her being fucked. Why should I care as long as she’s not cheating NOW when she’s with me?

Not everyone agrees with the commodification of sex and also sex work is heavily correlated with plenty of mental conditions.

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KhadgarIsaDreadlord · 2025-03-29T14:29:47+00:00

First off, calling anyone "damaged goods" is dehumanising so I clearly don't stand for that.

Now that this is out of the way, being a sex worker is heavily indicative of other personal issues that would make someone a bad long-term partner. To mention a few, normal people don't have a desire to have sex with strangers (or do sexual performance) for money. It's a self-destructive lifestyle.

You may not agree but a lot of people also view sex as sacred, something to be shared intimately with a loving partner. If somebody comodifies sexual intimacy, making it transactional, a product that anyone can just purchase for money then that is going to irreversibly taint the sanctity of sexuality for people who view it as such. I'm pretty open-minded but even I wouldn't date someone the whole world can see in the most intimate position with one google search.

So yeah all this on top of increased chance of STDs, infidelity and of curse the stigma that comes with dating a sex worker.

Not to mention the life after sex work. Everyone will know, people will always talk behind your back, whatever you do this will always be held above your head. Don't want to do a sex act your partners asks you? Well you did it for money, was that more important than they are?

See what I mean? It's a literal minefield. Most people don't fuck with it for good reason.

wtknight · 2025-03-29T14:33:53+00:00

I wouldn't do sex work or even have casual sex, which is why I judge anyone who does do these things.

shadowrangerfs · 2025-03-29T19:24:01+00:00

No. Most men would not be sex workers if they could.
Just because you're fine with it, doesn't mean that other men have to be. Not wanting to date a sex worker doesn't make you a bad person.
Just out of curiosity, do you feel the same way about women who wouldn't date a sex worker as you feel about men who won't?

Puzzleheaded_ghost · 2025-04-05T22:56:57+00:00

The video of her being fucked is part of the menu, the video of her fucking a new model when she reportedly is no longer on only fans and dating you is entirely a different matter.

I identify with sex workers. Denigrate me fine. It is a hard and lonely job—lots of dick and no connection. A tool, a plaything. Men can be disgusting and ask for Quefs. Jeez guys. Try to make us look better. Some women feel like villains when they mislead simps. Others will openly tell you it's 99% fake, yet relationships occur.

It's demeaning on both sides. Lilly, with all her bravado, cried.

Personality disorders and abuse are rampant. There are intelligent, attractive women who are there just for the money, rampant use of chatter, and gay men who fill in and chat for the creators on OnlyFans.

I'm not advocating this line of work or being a customer. It takes something from a creator unless there was nothing there to start with.

In general, if you date a sex worker, you are taking certain risks, and your heart is precious. So is theirs. She might be a 10, but she will reach for you, and you will be sorry.

James_M_Croft · 2025-04-16T19:15:58+00:00

Eventually you will see that either you are an exception or just a liar.

Either way, it doesn't bother me or anyone else. You live with your own choices.

lovelesslibertine · 2025-03-29T07:56:24+00:00

Ask your future children if it matters. Would you have liked to have grown up with your Mum being a whore all over the internet?

phoenixalot · 2025-03-29T09:13:05+00:00

Why should it matter if she cheats now?

Title	I’m a heterosexual-American man and I believe it’s wrong for men to call female sex workers “damaged goods.” Why is this still a mentality?
Author	lostacoshermanos
Upvotes	0
Comments	44
Date	March 29, 2025 7:20 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1jmgxy5/im_a_heterosexualamerican_man_and_i_believe_its/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/im-a-heterosexual-american-man-and-i-believe-its.1547967 https://theredarchive.com/post/1547967

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