Is my ex copying me out of jealousy?

Solid-Phase-1655 · 2025-04-10T04:36:45+00:00

Maybe go rent a nice car well above your lifestyle for twp weeks. Just see what happens. Then take it back.

CharacterProper8732 · 2025-04-06T21:21:58+00:00

https://www.instagram.com/realdanyang/reel/C_TW8uKu3Bd/

HistoricalRich280 · 2025-04-06T20:02:44+00:00

Brother, this same is happening to me. The ex is even doing things w the kids that I always did/they never did. While we were still living together, they would mirror my movements w the kids, going so far as to take notes. And now is seeking out and purchasing doing things I always wanted or always wanted them to do.

It is an alienation tactic, sure. But here’s the thing, kids know what is happening on some level. But also I take it to mean that the person who is rushing around and trying to change their identity and do so much, must be so uncomfortable with themselves on a cellular level. And if they are trying to mirror you, you must be doing something right to begin with.

The copy can never be the original, and they aren’t with you minute to minute anymore.

Be yourself, be consistent, the kids will find that comforting. You can get them and yourselves some new things but make sure it isn’t about being in a competition.

Focus on yourself, your kids, your home and life.

Bumblebee56990 · 2025-04-06T18:52:41+00:00

Therapy. For you and the children. But def for you.

Camille_Toh · 2025-04-06T16:25:00+00:00

Cultural and/or upbringing/class differences, as indicated by the taste differences?

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2025-04-06T15:57:43+00:00

All the posters down playing the significance of her behaviour are deluded.

It is a parental alienation tactic used by women. At one point, it will come on heavier, and she will try and convince the children to stay with her full time, in order to garner more child support.

OP, you need to be wary of this. Try and keep your household “top secret” and ask the children not to reveal details to her.

Eric_C_Productions · 2025-04-06T15:55:01+00:00

First things first. Does it bother you that she is copying you? Think of it as "emulating success". Regardless, why do you honestly care about what she is buying? She could go out and buy the same car, same dishes, same bed, same furniture. So what!? Let her. Don't be in a competition with her. You choose your own path and stay on it. Please don't be that parent who starts competing with their ex spouse for the affection of their children. Buying their love essentially.

I remember being in 4th grade and my best friend's parents got a divorced. I remember being jealous of him because he had two parents who were competing and giving him anything and everything. He had all of the toys in the world and I looked at my parents and wondered why I couldn't have the stuff he had. Fast forward 30 years later, my best friend was married twice, divorced twice and passed away last year at 47 from alcoholism. His mother, who I talk to often to console her, blames herself and how his earlier demons may have contributed to his demise.

Look, you be yourself. Be the better parent. Be the voice of reason for your kids. Forget about the material things. I gave my ex-wife everything in the house. I didn't take any furniture, pots or pans, even all of the stuff that I had before I got married. Why? They are just going to be reminders of my past marriage. I wanted a break. I want to start new. A fresh start. So should you.

Paddle_Pedal_Puddle · 2025-04-06T14:56:00+00:00

My STBX is out hooking up while we’re cohabitating and I couldn’t care less because it’s all about me and our kids now.

Don’t waste any time or energy thinking about what she’s doing. Water off a duck’s back. You specifically passed up splitting any assets so you wouldn’t be reminded of her, and now you’re thinking about trivial purchasing decisions she’s making.

For your next post here, tell us about the cool things you’re doing for yourself or your kids. Share a win or two.

mysteriouslypuzzled · 2025-04-06T14:19:21+00:00

Honestly bro. You shouldn't care. It doesn't impact your quality of life in the slightest. Just makes her look small minded you keep on being good to yourself. People that try to compete with you means you are doing something right. And they are simply trying to catch up to your higher/ better standards. In fact, you should take it as a big compliment.
And for shits and giggles somehow have her find out that you got one of those fucking machines. The ones that have "real thrusting action!" Then take it up a level. Have her find out that you are building a sex room/ dungeon. With S&m gear. Just imagine her copying all that! Lol.b

mysteriouslypuzzled · 2025-04-06T14:06:51+00:00

If she's copying you. Then use that to give your kids the best life. I.e:take them out to a waterpark or paintball. Then see if she will copy that. If she does. The kids win twice. If she doesn't. The kids will still win. Cuz dad is doing fun things with them

deep66it2 · 2025-04-06T13:49:37+00:00

Tell the kids you're about to buy xxxx & mention the progress a cpl times over time. Don't buy, just see what happens. Best, if you're evil, & kids mention mom bought it, is say it was pos so.... Not so smart if in the end you're paying for it. (How does one keep up with the Jones' if their a Jones' too?)

Camille_Toh · 2025-04-06T13:34:04+00:00

Have you watched Severance?

Several_Industry_754 · 2025-04-06T12:15:18+00:00

To her, she may be competing with you in the eyes of the kids. This isn’t a good outcome, as she will likely try to pressure the kids to choose her over you. That’s not just bad for you, the kids want no part of that.

I assume you two are coparenting, I recommend a book like Mom’s House, Dad’s House by Isolina Ricci, which talks about how you two can successfully manage a coparenting relationship similar to a business relationship. If you are both coparenting I recommend you both read it. It may help avoid the competition that she may see, which will be bad for your kids in the long run.

Another important thing it tells you to do is not ask the kids the status of the other parents house. If your kids are offering that she got a new tv or silverware or whatever, okay, consider acknowledging but redirecting. If not, don’t ask. Why do you care?

Remember, it’s not a competition, the only thing between you two right now is a coparenting relationship.

Regular_Finish7409 · 2025-04-06T11:07:44+00:00

I wouldn’t worry about it. Who cares. Things are over anyway. Move on with life and ignore the things she does. Not worth taking up space rent free in your brain.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-04-06T09:20:44+00:00

Was she competitive during the marriage? Maybe she just wants to be shown to be doing the same for them that you do. In any event, what answer would be satisfying to you? Some questions aren't worth pursuing.

its-n0t-me-its-y0u · 2025-04-06T06:01:09+00:00

Damn. Did she also make an account with the regional electricity provider? I bet she also goes grocery shopping. Super odd. It’s like she’s crazy or something.

Sacramentardo · 2025-04-06T05:43:58+00:00

Who cares, dude. Do you. It’s no longer your circus or your clown.

Title	Is my ex copying me out of jealousy?
Author	dfb54749014
Upvotes	18
Comments	44
Date	April 6, 2025 5:31 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1jsmzgg/is_my_ex_copying_me_out_of_jealousy/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/is-my-ex-copying-me-out-of-jealousy.1548701 https://theredarchive.com/post/1548701

Comments