What do you consider emotional cheating?

hakunaa-matataa · 2025-04-27T19:00:09+00:00

I think this is very dependent on every one’s individual relationships. As in there’s no “this is the EXACT definition of emotional cheating and the parameters of it”. Instead, it’s up to each couple to set boundaries and decide what, for them, constitutes as emotional cheating.

That being said, for me personally I think emotional cheating is when you begin to priortize someone else over your partner in an emotional sense. For example, if you were to stay late to have one on one dinner with a coworker you were romantically interested in while your partner waits at home for you.

I think another thing that I would constitute as emotional cheating is the repetitive venting about your partner to the person you’re having an emotional affair with instead of addressing the issue with your partner and working together to fix it.

I’m sure some people will disagree with my personal takes, which is totally fine. That may not be a boundary you and your partner have, but it’s one I pursue in my romantic relationships.

Ok_Use7 · 2025-04-27T18:55:10+00:00

To me it’s simply forming an emotional connection with someone to the extent that it would hurt your boyfriend or girlfriend if they knew.

For example, I’ve been in relationships but so emotionally connected to others that I was more in love with them than my own girlfriend. The emotional bond I had outside meant more to me than the emotional bond I was supposed to have with the person I was in a relationship with.

toasterchild · 2025-04-27T19:50:25+00:00

If you are in an LTR but the first person you want to talk to when something interesting happens to you is someone else it might be emotional cheating. When you seek comfort from a person who isn't your partner it might be emotional cheating. When the "friend" knows more about your partner than you partner does about your friend its very likely emotional cheating. If you are saying things to this friend that you wouldn't say if your partner was listening its most likely emotional cheating.

attendquoi · 2025-04-27T20:08:28+00:00

I'd say it's when someone allows their crush to actually affect their relationship.

GGMcThroway · 2025-04-27T20:03:51+00:00

A level of emotional intimacy greater than that you have with your partner.

Your greatest amount of emotional intimacy should be with the person you're planning on building a life together with. It's one thing when you're still in the early stages of your relationship, but no one should take priority over your partner (and later kids) once you're fully locked in.

ConanTheCybrarian · 2025-04-27T20:29:06+00:00

I wouldn't presume to tell other people what they should consider "emotional cheating" in their own relationships.

My personal opinion is that it would be cheating anytime my partner or I are building greater intimacy outside the relationship than we have inside of it. So if I always go to my best friend about my concerns about my marriage but never address them directly with my partner, that would be an issue.

It would also be cheating anytime one of us is flirting/ interacting with a person we find attractive in ways that we don't tell each other about/ wouldn't behave if our partner was present/ don't want the other to know about. For example: I had a coworker who I had a lot in common with, worked closely with, and occasionally hung out with outside of work. He started flirting a bit and telling me he was having issues in his marriage. If I hadn't told my husband and had encouraged that behavior by flirting too, hanging out more, etc. That would have been the beginning of an emotional affair.

HouseOfInfinity · 2025-04-27T22:21:54+00:00

Emotional cheating is specific to a person own boundaries. Not everyone going to have the same parameters regarding relationships.

Loyalty, trust and fidelity is important to me. I can never be with someone that doesn’t have those values.

If my husband started building connections, holding confidence, valuing and hiding or not telling me about spending time with other women that would be emotional cheating.

Any intimacy he shares with another woman is emotional cheating.

Stock-Argument-1040 · 2025-04-28T01:25:49+00:00

My cut off is if you would feel uncomfortable telling your partner what you spoke about/did then it's probably emotional cheating. That's not to say you need to tell your partner everything you do but you should feel comfortable sharing it if you have to. If you would dodge questions or lie about it to your partner, it's emotional cheating.

Feeling_Ad_1034 · 2025-04-27T20:00:44+00:00

Anything you feel the need to hide from your partner

ZennedGame · 2025-04-27T19:39:02+00:00

Taking non-physical action towards fulfilling an emotional interest or desire with another, while in a committed relationship

G4M35 · 2025-04-27T20:53:02+00:00

What do you consider emotional cheating?

Two people who enjoy drama for drama's sake, getting together for drama for drama's sake.

Bonus points if you include how you developed your opinion.

Objectively observing reality.

wtknight · 2025-04-27T21:21:59+00:00

I don’t really care if the person I’m exclusive with “emotionally cheats”. That’s not real cheating to me.

FearlessSea4270 · 2025-04-27T21:31:16+00:00

Whatever is outside the bounds of our established relationship.

kvakerok_v2 · 2025-04-28T16:07:50+00:00

Developing a romantic emotional attachment to someone other than your partner while in an exclusive monogamous relationship.

Flightlessbirbz · 2025-04-28T18:00:51+00:00

You aren’t going to get one exact answer since different couples have different boundaries and feelings on this issue. But generally I’d say it’s when you prioritize an emotional bond with someone (who isn’t a family member) above your bond with your partner. Or in some cases, even family relationships can be emotionally incestuous, if for example you’re always catering to your mom’s emotional needs at your wife’s expense.

Some red flags for emotional cheating might include:

The first person you want to tell when you get some exciting news isn’t your partner.

You frequently complain to this person about your partner instead of talking to your partner about the issue.

You do not want your partner to see texts or overhear calls with this person.

You don’t want to bring this person around your partner because it feels weird, you feel the need to downplay your relationship with this “friend” to your partner.

You find yourself thinking “what if we both were single” or something along those lines even if you have no intention of actually crossing physical boundaries.

You’re willing to drop everything for this person, for example, skipping a family gathering to go help them with something that isn’t a true emergency.

AnonPinkLady · 2025-04-28T18:28:53+00:00

So for every person it's different but I think there has to be genuine intent to have an emotional affair if not actions taken.
Developing feelings can be somewhat out of our control but if you intentionally seek out the target of those feelings while being aware of them, and continually strengthen that bond to an inappropriate degree, that's definitely questionable to say the least. And if you verbalize or communicate your romantic feelings with the intent to manifest something between you and that potential emotional affair partner, that's clear cut cheating to me. I. E. "I want to be with you" "I have feelings for you and I can't stay away" and so forth.

Fik_456 · 2025-04-27T21:46:38+00:00

My ex visually would say I belong to her only, abused me physically, kept insulting me and being possessive.

I think it fits here.

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Sufficient-Meal-5077 · 2025-04-28T08:36:38+00:00

If you're having conversations you wouldn't want your partner to read or conversations you wouldn't want them to have with someone else, then there's a problem.

SleepingInAt11 · 2025-04-28T13:46:41+00:00

Anything you wouldn't do with your bf/gf around.

Logos1789 · 2025-04-27T19:57:51+00:00

Emotional cheating is when you’re less committed to your partner than you pretend to be.

This can manifest in communicating with men or putting yourself out there online in a way that solicits communication with men who you’re open to considering for a new relationship or even just sex.

A partner deserves to understand how close you are to seeking a different partner while there’s still time to repair the relationship.

PattayaVagabond · 2025-04-27T20:48:30+00:00

PLEASE DONT BE IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE EL LSSEEE

PLEASE DONT HAVE SOMEBODY WAITIN ON YOU OUUUUU

just_a_place · 2025-04-28T05:55:11+00:00

Emotional Cheating is yet another one of those stupid ass things Woketards invented.

It's psychobabble nonsense that has no application in the real world but is nonetheless used to completely invent drama out of thin air from meaningless and totally fictional bullshit.

Like, you can have a crush on someone who has a crush on you, but how is that cheating if you don't do anything about it?

It's not. Again, this is complete and utter bullshit women invented to accuse men of "though crime." More specifically, of "emotion crime." How dare you have incorrect feelings!

Simps stupid enough to fall for these shit tests deserve the grief that they get.

jay10033 · 2025-04-27T19:59:54+00:00

Emotional cheating is whatever is making that other person insecure at the time. It's so vaguely defined that anything falls under the definition.

Remember, the same people who champion this idea of "emotional cheating" in one breath will turn around and tell you that no relationship can fulfill all your needs and you need to retain your other relationships. It's a catch-22. You can never win. The goalposts will move to where they need to to accuse you.

abaxeron · 2025-04-27T22:53:12+00:00

My opinion is firm that "emotional cheating" is the way to accuse men of cheating for having female friends, used by women who let a man other than their partner to have sex with them. Their General Hamster commands to use this non-logic to make these two circumstances sort-of equal, and avoid reflecting on their own behavior. Because for quite some time, this is the only context this term was used in (at least within my social media radar and personal life).

Title	What do you consider emotional cheating?
Author	toad-wrangler
Upvotes	8
Comments	36
Date	April 27, 2025 6:32 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1k9axvz/what_do_you_consider_emotional_cheating/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-do-you-consider-emotional-cheating.1550786 https://theredarchive.com/post/1550786

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