How are most of you ok with the Abysmal success rates of cold approach?

seduction-ModTeam · 2025-06-26T23:13:44+00:00

This post is being taken down because it violates Rule #4: Keep it civil and on topic.

Cold approach is NOT seduction. Seduction involves warm approaches and preparation before approaching someone.

nutmegger189 · 2025-06-26T09:46:59+00:00

What's the alternative in your head

Ryzasu · 2025-06-26T10:42:19+00:00

So youre saying I could just get sex/a gf and all I have to do is talk to 5 random girls? Thats actually insane. Compare this to dating apps where you have to go through hundreds or even thousands for the same result

Lonely-Internet-601 · 2025-06-26T10:17:04+00:00

1 in 5 is an exceptionally high success rate. Most men would love to go into an bar, talk to 5 women and then leave with one.

I'd say that the average success rate is closer to 1 in 15 but even that's fine. Its not that much effort for someone you'll possibly know for a while and sleep with multiple times.

What's your success rate for getting a job? People moan about approaching multiple girls to get laid but are fine with applying for dozens of jobs before they land a role.

New_Banana3858 · 2025-06-26T11:27:21+00:00

you're learning how to express your thoughts, more profiencly, when cold approaching women.
you realise, that your ego, that which is trying too protect you, make up fake lies, and it's actually a lot safer then what you think it is. But ayeah it does suck.... when comming from the mentality of what i am getting from it....
that's the thing you're not there to get sex, you're there too Connect with people and see if you like their vibe or not(sex will happen, as long as you trust the process of being the leader).
last but least.... what better options do you have, in your life? Sit home alone, wank off to onlyfans models? I mean sure, your body doesn't care, weither you splurt your seed on a woman or on the floor at your home.

Western-Month-3877 · 2025-06-26T14:00:22+00:00

The numbers are very well known for years, it’s even much lower if you’re a beginner so…

I stick to cold approach because:

I don’t really care with the outcome.
It’s something you can enjoy just by you meeting up with strangers and you hone in your skills.
You can get more interesting info from them and really dig the convo. Never thought in my lifetime I’d be talking to a ballerina or a girl whose parents came from the country I’ve never heard of.
You can tweak the numbers by being picky. And I’m not talking about approaching only 9’s or 10’s, but approaching the ones that already give you initial interests and reciprocate well. I think one of the reasons why the % is so low is because guys keep approaching women just for the sake of the number. Like keep throwing as many darts as they can in order to hit the bull’s eye. It’s gambling.

BatBottleBank · 2025-06-26T12:18:49+00:00

Depends how much you want a woman. Lot of guys hate rejection more than the benefits that a partner would bring so for them it isn’t worth it.

Newtabs9 · 2025-06-26T14:24:00+00:00

no PUA is banging 1 in 5 girls he approaches unless he is a giga chad or he's banging ugly girls.

Watch uncut infield footage for what the ACTUAL numbers are! they are a LOT worse than that lol. (nobody remembers the 'simple pickup' uncut vids?)

In fact, daygame legend Paul Janka said his approach to lay ratio is 2.2% I believe. And he was a tall, handsome dude who taught game and knew as much or more than anyone here

TMGP19 · 2025-06-26T12:22:06+00:00

Sorry but no man doing high-level approach volume is achieving 1/5 or 20% conversation rate for sex, no matter how good looking or good the "game" is. The exception would be someone who is apparently VERY high status in a club or group setting or a well-known celebrity. It's just not realistic, especially if you do audacious approaches where there are no signals sent and a surrounding audience.

As described in Mike Melhman's book 'world class day game', you have to be doing at least 50 approaches a day 4+ days a week minimum, which sounds crazy/impossible, but not if you live in a very large city and have tons of foot traffic as seen in train stations in 1st world Asian countries and densely populated European & US cities. If you live in a smaller city, these numbers may be more challenging to achieve. Remember, most women will reject, and approach is the success

MineDesperate2920 · 2025-06-26T11:52:36+00:00

I’ll take 1/5 odds anyday that sounds pretty good. I’d say I can be in that range but I have to be having an ‘on’ night. On an off night I could be 1/50 probs.

You have to enjoy the hunt and the game part tho to want to do it. Also like someone else said what is the alternative. Just do nothing? I’ll pass

Charge36 · 2025-06-26T12:34:51+00:00

"Which is insane because they are supposed to be master seducers"

you think a one and five success rate at having sex from a cold approach is bad?! Are you insane? It's lucky if even one girl is single when you approach five

WholeMilkElitist · 2025-06-26T13:39:23+00:00

I also really don't think they have to be abysmal, just know your audience, target with precision. Everyone is craving connection these days.

SuperStalin · 2025-06-26T11:29:36+00:00

If you live in a large city where there are lots of places and you rarely meet people twice, then by all means go for it, try... It's not advisable, but what the hell... I don't care... But guys who do cold approach in smaller cities where people know each other well, you're just ruining your own life and reputation for no reason.

TheCuriousBread · 2025-06-26T16:58:12+00:00

It's like working in sales, cold calling basically. People who win big, have failed big.

liftingnstuff · 2025-06-26T15:01:16+00:00

Really telling that the only way you frame success is sleeping with the girl. The only consequence of getting rejected is to your ego.

Most beginners haven't even approached 50 women ever. The median total sexual partners for men in their 20s is like 6.1.

Getting rejected feels way better than feeling regret for being too scared to approach. Taking enjoyment from the process of getting better through failure and incremental improvement is immensely satisfying.

The ceiling of results from cold approach is quite high and greatly outweighs the downside of rejection. Dating girls, hookups, making new friends that expand your social circle, getting invited to new events.

Charge36 · 2025-06-26T15:42:07+00:00

Should a golfer be mad at their abysmal hole in one rate?

Khower · 2025-06-26T15:55:09+00:00

I dont cold approach women as much as I cold approach everyone if im out. My focus is always on generating social interactions with literally everyone that it makes my success with women a bit more of a passive income rather than a direct goal.

Personally, I've always found it to be the better approach because my goal is to build connections. The romantic ones mostly just happen as a byproduct. I still escalate with women but only after ive begun to see initial interest from them or interesting qualities they have other than being pretty. Tends to work really well for me, plus ive made a bunch of friends that make my life more fun

UnkemptGoose339 · 2025-06-26T16:49:16+00:00

What are you defining as success? If you walk up to a girl and flirt and she laughs and you get to enjoy the company of a beautiful woman, that's success. Which basically happens every night you go out and cold approach once you get a basic level of confidence and social skills. You need to learn to enjoy yourself when you're going out, it's not a grind, it should be mostly pleasurable.

If your only reason for going out is to just get laid, that's more of a perspective issue really.

Outside_Bowler8148 · 2025-06-26T14:19:48+00:00

I just don’t understand what you are trying to achieve here.

Pedro_Moona · 2025-06-26T10:34:45+00:00

It's not how many nuts a squirrel doesn't get it's how many he does.

Mr_Serotonin_ · 2025-06-26T10:58:30+00:00

It's not about the success rate. The experience itself is an advantage & life lessons for life. It all takes 1% success rate to find our sweet heart., or may be even less. No other is method is best out there. It's exponentially better than dating apps + the results are instantaneous.

HistorianOk2573 · 2025-06-26T14:31:33+00:00

Your problem is that u are not treating women as people with emotions, feelings, expereinces, circumstances, moods... You are treating them as prey and being needy and those two reasons are why ur "success rate" might be too low for yoru expectations. Heck, the fact that u even keep track of a success rate, is also part of the problem. Instead of going there to see if she is worth your time, to see if you vibe and click, and have natural chemsitry and makes sense to see each other again.

You go there already sold, trying to convince, trying to get something, trying to close the deal. You are like a bad salesman who is despereate to close at all costs, because reality is you are only approaching women to feed your ego, hence why u so upset with the fact that most women you meet won't be interested.

And oh surpirse when you do that, women feel it instantly and they reject you more often, who would have imagined.

That neediness, combined with the "predatory" energy of trying to get something, creates a creepy, uncomfortable dynamic. She’s not a person anymore in ur eyes, just a means to an end. And ironically the more u chase a “result,” the more emotionally unavailable and unattractive u become.

Tracking success rates only reinforces that transactional mindset. It makes you focus on wins and losses instead of real connection. It turns people into statistics. Instead of asking yourself: Did I feel something real with her? Did we actually connect? Did it feel like something worth continuing?... Nah you’re thinking, "Did I close the deal?"

Now you might be thinking why do i care about that when i jsut want one night stands and never see the girl again, but even for one-night stands, connection matters. U think emotional attunement is only for relationships? Nah. Even in the most fleeting encounters, women want to feel something. Turn-on is emotional. Desire is emotional. Trust, even for a night, is emotional. And if u can’t access that because ur too busy hunting and trying to win, guess what? You become the exact guy she avoids.

So even if u only want casual sex, the mindset has to flip. U don’t go in hoping to get her. You go in seeing if there’s a mutual spark. u go in with emotional awareness, curiosity, and standards. U go in to experience, not to extract. Only then, when u stop chasing an outcome, is when women start chasing the moment, instead of running away from u.

Rhino3750ss · 2025-06-26T11:52:32+00:00

It's comparable to sales.

If you make 1000 cold calls in a month to people who's wants and needs you have no previous info about, not many people are going to want what u are selling...but a 1% conversion rate still creates 10 more transactions that otherwise wouldn't be happening.

Are you going to be more ok with 10 transactions or zero?

Chemical-Low209 · 2025-06-26T12:20:05+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Chicagoj1563 · 2025-06-26T16:04:10+00:00

Cold approach is the gym for your social skills. Its also a rewarding lifestyle of social activity, meeting people, and having fun with women.

The OP is viewing cold approach as an activity you do to get the girl. And that is just a misunderstanding of it. Its practice. Its a lifestyle. And it can get you women. There is more value in doing approaches than just getting the girl. That's the difference.

You are improving your attractiveness and social skills by doing cold approach. And you can get the girl from time to time, including women you would never have a chance with otherwise. And combining cold approach with other ways to meet women is a useful strategy.

jokerthebull · 2025-06-26T17:16:17+00:00

Its fun

Yes_cummander · 2025-06-26T17:36:26+00:00

We accept reality, and work with it rather than against it!

Quartrez · 2025-06-26T19:12:04+00:00

Still better odds than Tinder and Facebook Dating

Certain_Process_7657 · 2025-06-26T20:58:21+00:00

We all know it's a numbers game. Almost nobody claims it's not. It's still better than dating apps or waiting for women to approach you.

So yes I'm ok with only 1 in 15 or so approaches (my yield rate) turning into a hookup or gf material. It's really not that bad.

That's a few hours out of your week. If you don't have a crazy demanding job or kids, most guys can easily put in the effort/time of they care enough about running game.

Haunting-Shame4528 · 2025-06-26T21:13:40+00:00

If you can get 1 lay in 50 cold approaches, you are a master seducer. Most 'expert' puas I knew, used to get 1 lay out of 200-300 day time approaches lol

hasuchobe · 2025-06-26T22:08:40+00:00

The problem I have with the apps is you may get dates but often the girl ends up not looking the way you expect irl. With cold approach, what you see is what you get. All my relationships have essentially been cold approach.

I also want to add that the number you quoted is not astronomical from my personal experience unless sex is a required outcome. But getting 20% success for dates isn't too crazy from my experience. Might be selection dependent. If you only go for 9s and 10s it might be worse. Never tried that myself. My experience is generally that girls that are outside are more attractive than the ones you meet on the apps so if you aim for slightly above average in that respect, the results are pretty decent.

Edit: one important caveat is when I did cold approach, I much prefer the day time in public spaces.

Inevitable_Branch720 · 2025-06-26T22:15:27+00:00

Most guys are just stubborn.they all use the same techniques and systems but the expect different results. I average one lay out of 3 to 6 approaches max . And I'm far from an expert or a master , I lost my virginity last year . But it's like 80% of the community has been so brainwashed Into using the same advice they they never think outside of the box. This is what worked for me:

Fashion matters.
Opening with a compliment sucks.
Escalation needs to be carefully planned out and progressive.
Body language matters , especially on the approach.
There is a methodical way to overcome resistance. It varies depending on the girl you have in front of you .

And a bunch of other things that are either not talked about, how just butchered and watered down to make the advice seem more attractive, but inefficient. I spent two years with zero results then I started having abundance overnight just by changing what I was doing. So it can be done .

COMPEWTER_adminisp · 2025-06-26T23:09:04+00:00

the idea is too use all opportunities you have in your daily life, just go on about your bness, but use every opportunity you get to strike up a conversation.

Title	How are most of you ok with the Abysmal success rates of cold approach?
Author	Chemical-Low209
Upvotes	15
Comments	99
Date	June 26, 2025 9:38 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1lkvvkt/how_are_most_of_you_ok_with_the_abysmal_success/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-are-most-of-you-ok-with-the-abysmal-success.1555631 https://theredarchive.com/post/1555631

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