I'll keep this short but about 72 hours go Monday evening my wife of 15 years kicked me (38M, Virginia) out. We have two teenage boys and I miss them so much. Thankfully my parents took me in. I'm barely able to function at work. What do I do...what does the future look like?

Here's the backstory, and here's the "am I stupid on optimism right now?"

I was dishonest financially and morally. Over a 2 year period, probably bought about $2000 worth of stuff without telling her. Not stuff that was hidden (she would eventually see it) but still. It ranged from things that I could justify - $100 air purifer for the living room because we have dogs and guests get allergic....to just purely for me (ie apple watch). We would give each other about $1800 worth of "whatever" money each year, and I would always just blow off any questions of "how did you get that" to "oh just from that "whatever" money, when in reality, it went past that.

Morally, I looked at porn last year. I couldn't hide it from her any longer because she found something I bought, which led to the "what else aren't you telling me" and I just burst and told her about it as it's been eating me up since. That was the burst of the bubble.

I've been staying at my parents since (nothing is as humbling as that walk of shame). I regret it every day and want to win her back. My "am I stupid on optimism right now" is that she said I should go to counseling...so in the first 24 hours I found and set up a counselor that I saw yesterday (wednesday). I'm seeing another one next Saturday for an all day intensive and then we go to marriage counseling Wed Nov 5th. The latter gives me hope, however she keeps talking about how this separation might be a long term thing...needs space, not sure if it'll be a few weeks, months.

What do I do? I'm so lost, so lonely. I'm working to sell anything and everything I can. Selling my apple watch and anything else I can find. I guess I'm just trying to show her that I want to change and I'm taking the action. I've barely eaten since Monday evening. Any advice is appreciated.