Do women expect you to try to kiss them on the first date?

blekanese · 2025-11-03T22:01:01+00:00

In my 29 years of life, I've realized that regardless of the answer to this question, it's better to go for one and get rejected (delayed) than to skip over it and then get rejected because you didn't make a move or you were too slow and the attraction fell down

taysoncat14 · 2025-11-03T22:15:06+00:00

Idk and idgaf, I always do.. which is why like 90% of my dates end up in sex on the first date.

burncushlikewood · 2025-11-03T22:22:18+00:00

It depends, there's clues to look for if she wants to make out, but not every woman wants to hook up on the first date

Creative-Big-128 · 2025-11-03T22:52:00+00:00

Just try even if she rejects, she will think that she is desirable. But if you don’t try, her interest on you falls down

friday126 · 2025-11-04T00:27:25+00:00

You're going to get VERY different answers on this, some will say DON'T kiss a woman on the first date, even if she wants you to AND she enjoyed herself- her ASD will push her into a fight or flight response and she'll ghost you. Other's will say go for it, if you get "the vibe".

Neither are wrong. But here's the thing- in a lot of cases, (as someone who has lived in different states all over the U.S.) A LOT of if you should go for the first kiss on a first date or not- even if they're just looking for a fuck buddy- is to get a vibe for the city/region you're living in. I've spent most of my time living in the south and midwest. What I had BY FAR the most success with was getting her comfortable (to an extent) bringing up sex in a fun, non judgemental way, tease her a little bit, even tease the kiss- but not go through with it. It raises the sexual tension, doesn't kick in her "anti-slut-defense" (instinctual).

I've used that method and gotten A LOT more second dates (that most of the time resulted in sex, that was all but confirmed via text before hand) than I did before when I got a kiss at the end of the first date. I found it a way to take charge of the situation and "raise her buying temperature". I WAS IN CHARGE. NOT her whims. I showed outcome independence, sexual openness, showed a fun attitude toward sex AND let her know, yeah WE CAN HAVE SEX SOON (by actions not words) BUT not juuust yet. But very soon.

I've also found in bigger cities and especially more liberal states- fucking on the first date is much more common and of course kissing is a step in getting there. Life moves faster in those areas and people have less time to fuck around, women have less time to play games.

Of course, even if you are in the south/midwest- if you get the vibe that a woman is "looking for someone to go home with" go for it. Finger her in your car in the parking lot before bouncing together. Hell, last month I took home a cute 23 year old from a karaoke bar who "just wanted to have fun". We now meet and fuck twice a week.

But there are multiple factors to keep in mind here- how "ready to go" is she? How good are you at escilating, what's the average habit of women in your area/region (high ASD?). You'll figure it out.

New_Banana3858 · 2025-11-03T23:12:11+00:00

nature doesn’t waste energy.
When you feel a strong pull toward someone, most of the time 80, 85 percent they feel it too.

One day, I went out to buy sneakers and saw this drop dead gorgeous woman red hair, green eyes, yoga pants, the whole deal. The second I saw her, I felt that spark, and she was looking right back at me.

I don’t know what got into me, but I yelled, Ayy girl, get your sassy ass over here! She laughed, so I said, Damn girl, I wanna do you in the bedroom and every other room we can find.

She laughed even more, and before I knew it, we were kissing not even a minute in.

What I find crazy about this is how it goes against logic. Kissing a girl after 60 seconds and she's a stranger?!?!

Normally, you’d think desire is one-sided that just because you want something doesn’t mean it happens. But in reality… sometimes when I have a strong desire for a woman, she senses it. It’s almost like she’s tuning into my energy and, somehow, allowing it to happen.

It’s not about tricking anyone or clever lines. It’s just raw energy, pure intent. And when you show that fully, women often mirror it back. It’s like nature doing its thing.

MoneyPop8800 · 2025-11-03T23:02:49+00:00

Yes, go for it

GKoala · 2025-11-03T22:13:11+00:00

Everyone's expectations are different and it takes experience and awareness of body language to have an educated guess about what they want. General signs I look for are if they linger when they are leaving. They face you directly face to face. And of course you should have a good feel of how the date went, if a lot of laughs were shared during the date and kino happened, I will always go for it. But you know, people are people and some even with all that won't want to for whatever reason. If they do like you, you wouldn't have lost anything because they'll still see you so you can try again later. If not, well then now you know, move on.

2025-11-03T23:41:51+00:00

same exact thing happened to me few weeks ago. Literally the same. Replied to her story few days after the date and she didnt even open the message.

From the mistakes we learn, onto the next one

Charge36 · 2025-11-04T01:07:30+00:00

18 YO girls can have unrealistic expectations of dudes able to read their mind about when to make a move.

Some girls will kiss on a first date if they are feeling it, some won't.

If you feel like she was getting distant it's unlikely attempting to kiss her would have changed anything.

Better to state your intentions rather than ask a permission. Ie "I really want to kiss you right now". She will let you know.

-XtCode- · 2025-11-03T23:05:22+00:00

This is an extremely subjective matter. Depends heavily on a lot of factors so at the end of the day if you feel theres a spark go for it

HabitConfident7788 · 2025-11-04T00:57:04+00:00

No. They still want to see how you pull it off and you’ll get the kiss if you did everything right

Django-Ouroboros · 2025-11-04T07:27:52+00:00

Go for it, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain

DannyFlood · 2025-11-04T13:05:11+00:00

Men are so simple 😂 son there could be a thousand different reasons why a woman lost interest in you. Think of all of the great thinkers before us who tried to figure out women but couldn't like Freud, Nietzsche, yeah... Just take the L and meet more women. Heck you're only 18.

But yeah, if you're into the girl just go for the kiss. Even if it isn't successful you won't have lost anything compared to doing nothing.

ModeoneUk · 2025-11-04T18:40:20+00:00

I mean yes maybe. But you shouldn't care what they think.

Don't think "does this woman expect me to kiss her in the first date".

Instead look at like you want to see if chemistry you to got chemistry.

If you guys don't have chemistry and you don't feel like you wanna kiss her than move on

Rhino3750ss · 2025-11-03T23:39:40+00:00

Do or do not. There is no try.

Women will tell you exactly when to kiss them without using words. If the vibe is right and she is comfortable with physical touch, she will put her face near yours at some point then you kiss her without a second thought.

inspiredmon_k · 2025-11-04T08:11:18+00:00

I'd say go for it. If a girl is on a date with you, she would want you to kiss her. It doesn't get too awkward even if she does reject it.

Zyborgg · 2025-11-04T08:36:46+00:00

I am 24 and have been in this situation too many times to count. I think about two things when I’m feeling a bit unsure and nervous about going for it: 1. Even if the kiss is too early and too forward, a girl will forgive you for being too eager to kiss her. It’s better than her thinking after a couple dates and you didn’t go for it, that you don’t have the spine to do it. 2. That scene with the mermaid and prince and the crab is singing lalalala kiss the girl and how obvious it is to you that he should just go for it. Google or YouTube “Kiss the Girl” little mermaid to see what I’m talking about

Former_Suspect7946 · 2025-11-04T01:07:11+00:00

If they like you, yes they expect to kiss them .... If not, you are a pervert ... they will be angry with you that you made a move in the first date (they dont do it in the first date they will say, you dont know them yet good. How you dare to like them?) But its only an excuse to not see you again cause... they dont like you anyway :) So try to touch their hair and by their reaction you will understand. If they dont want in the first date 99.9999/100 they will never want...

chocolateegg1233 · 2025-11-04T13:22:31+00:00

They expect you to whip your dick out

jupiter_and_mars · 2025-11-03T23:20:40+00:00

If you don’t kiss it wasn’t a date but a meetup of friends.

BlackBirdG · 2025-11-03T23:27:03+00:00

You should always kiss on the first date. Doesn't make sense, not to, unless you can tell she's not really feeling you.

Ebomb31 · 2025-11-04T02:02:25+00:00

If they're attracted to you, they want you to. They'll be disappointed if you don't.

If they're not attracted to you, they don't want you to.

They want you to read their vibes, feel out whether they want you to or not, and take responsibility for making the right call.

Xero_Darknezz · 2025-11-04T04:19:52+00:00

It's best to go for it. If she's not ready for that she'll tell you and respect you for going for it. Even then it doesn't mean she doesn't want to kiss you eventually it's just a not yet kind of thing if she's showing interest. It's the best way to gauge her investment if she wants more of a relationship or not. I know it can feel intimidating having to make the first move but when you do it you'll be glad you did and didn't get stuck in your head wondering what ifs. Any other way you shoot yourself in the foot.

hxe_111 · 2025-11-04T07:43:12+00:00

Depends on the vibe, location and timing. I went on two first dates last week. First one, really liked the guy, lots of chemistry and we’ve seen each other again since. However our date was in a busy climbing centre so I would not have kissed him if he went in for one. Luckily he didn’t.

Second one was awful, the guy turned out to be a transphobe and I left the bar as soon as I could. He seemed oblivious to how uncomfortable I was though and kept asking to see me again soon. If he’d tried to kiss me I’d have run.

Shadow__Account · 2025-11-04T08:19:01+00:00

If you want to seduce, come across as a high value guy, just have sex etc than yes. If you are on a date with the love of your life or dating to find someone for a serious relationship than no.

Basically women have been fucked up and over estimate themselves. X 100. So since they get so much attention and validation, for these women you need to stand out. They dont want a good guy or a real man, they want quick emotions and an adventure. They dont have time for a shy guy.

Now a good confident woman that knows what she wants and doesnt sleep with 10 guys per month is a different storie, shell look for values etc.

That being said even with a big quality woman, going for a kiss does still show that you go for what you want and if she rejects it its an opportunity to show her she is safe and you respect her boundaries in a healthy way and you dont get beaten down by a little bump in the road and become all weird or insecure. That will all still be very attractive.

Hope that answers your Question, in summary its almost always a positive to go for a kiss, of you escalate properly ofc and not just do it out of nowhere and if you handle a possible boundary well.

Now if anxiety or something makes you ask this, dont let it be an excuse, in that case, yes always go for the kiss.

On the logistics, dont overhink it. It doesnt have to be a perfect James Bond line. Its supposed to be fun and feel good for both of you. Can i kiss you is not a preferred line imo but its 1000x better than doing nothing. Just say either of those lines it doesnt matter, ive kissed girls saying super random shit that dont make sense, its 99% about the vibe and attraction you created up until that moment.

CherryBossy · 2025-11-04T00:02:56+00:00

No no no. You mentioned you were touchy feely with her throughout the date, but during that time she pulled away. As a woman, IMO, I believe that she was uncomfortable with all the touching. It was too much, too soon for her. That’s where interest seems to have been lost.

Next time when you’re on a date, don’t do too much touching. Get a feel of the energy first. If she touches you, then that’s a good sign she might want it reciprocated — for example, she might touch your hand or your back, etc. That can mean that she’s welcoming the same light (not overwhelming!) touch from you. Just don’t push it.

And if you want to kiss her, it’s ok to ask, just say something like, “Can I kiss you?” It’s a show of respect for her and her boundaries, and also there’s no loss there bc if she says no, then you didn’t come off creepy lol but if she says yes then it’s a win-win 🥰

komot · 2025-11-03T23:36:35+00:00

No they don't but if you don't someone else will. A no at that moment doesn't mean no next time, better to risk. Just work on Kino to get them comfortable.

JackSquirts · 2025-11-03T23:54:49+00:00

I think that's going to depend on the woman. Your description makes me think she lost attraction because she perceived you as losing attraction. Part of what makes a woman attracted to a guy is her feeling attractive to him. The fact that you didn't escalate likely gave her platonic vibes which is a sexual turnoff.

Go read the "should I tell her" post on my profile - it talks about escalating and flirting.

Despite what the internet, and especially Reddit, may tell you, asking for anything is a great way to turn a lot of women off. If you aren't sure if things are heading that way or not, call shit out like Babe Ruth used to. The vibe is strong, you feel like it's going well, you might just slip in "when we're making out later" in the middle of a statement and pretend it didn't happen. She's likely to call you on it, playfully if you're actually vibing, then you can escalate that flirt even more. "When we're making out later?" "Yeah, you're clearly dying to kiss me, but just FYI, you're gonna have to wait until they end and before you get any ideas, we're absolutely not having sex tonight no matter how hard you try." Key here is that you're not being serious, obviously teasing/joking, but at the same time acknowledging attraction.

HabitConfident7788 · 2025-11-04T01:01:21+00:00

Bro you are young … u need to get this right especially at this age . Women will submit under the intensity of desire a man has for her.

The man must always go for the first move and that means going into a bold move regardless of the rejection.

A man must set himself up to not be rejected. With a women to do this you have to break her down with touch, smell , and how you control the way she perceives you. How easy you make it so that the both of you can communicate in a better level of. This will make her comfortable and safe. Kisses will come out of pleasure not out of curiosity

FinancialEmotion3526 · 2025-11-04T11:26:50+00:00

It probably was because of something you’ve said.

mmwako · 2025-11-04T13:06:37+00:00

My 2 cents. I studied pickup in my 20s, and my success rate went through the roof, from barely having sex once a year to having sex every week with a girl (same or new).

This subject is nouanced, so I will do my best to explain. TL;DR version: yes, you should always go for a kiss in a first date (if it’s going well of course).

Why: Women want to feel desired and love the thrill of being persued. Also, the thing they like the most in men is confidence. So when you go for a kiss, you are displaying your confidence and intent. When you DONT go for a kiss in the first date, it shows ambiguity, and lack of intent. Like, it can literally turn them off and start seeing you as a friend.

The thing here is that it DOESNT matter if she accepts the kiss or not! It’s super counterintuitive, but if she rejects the kiss, everything is ok and you are doing great. I’ve had girls reject a kiss and then go home with me. It doesn’t mean anything. What will happen, is that she will feel MORE attracted to you after the fact.

How: The way I do it is really simple, when I’m walking with her side to side, and there is a moment of silence, I will just stop, when she turns towards me, put my hand around her waist, bring her towards me and just directly kiss her. The idea is that it’s a bit of a surprise for her, but do it with slow movements so you are not forcing her and she has the chance to back away if she prefers. This will ALWAYS be an awkward moment for both. So power through it, you will be nervous, and that’s ok. Also, please show awareness and don’t go for it if there is a lot of people around. Ideally, the kiss should be short, and then go on as if nothing happened. Don’t doit at the very end of the date, it’s too cliché.

Ps. From your story, i think there is another explanation: maybe you said something during the date that gave her the ick. Women get the ick from many reasons (some logical, some super random). So loosing attraction mid-date fits better this explanation. If you don’t go for the kiss she will lose attraction AFTER the date.

Ps2. You will find a lot of contradictory advice out there. Others have different techniques, this is what has worked for me. Try out stuff and see for yourself what works.

Title	Do women expect you to try to kiss them on the first date?
Author	ConnectedLeap
Upvotes	90
Comments	51
Date	November 3, 2025 9:58 PM UTC (8 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1onped8/do_women_expect_you_to_try_to_kiss_them_on_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/do-women-expect-you-to-try-to-kiss-them-on-the.1565545 https://theredarchive.com/post/1565545

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