Abused women are trash teir?

kmb218 · 2026-01-25T20:29:38+00:00

There is a big difference between actively seeking out and prefering criminal men vs ending up with a men who later turns out to be abusive / starts commiting crimes.

KayRay1994 · 2026-01-25T20:56:05+00:00

Who’s jealous of these ‘trash tier men’? I mean… outside of other men thirsty for a semblance of power, but most women and most men aren’t.

Also, your post falls under a very common logical mistake that makes sense in aspects like coding, but completely fall apart when dealing with more complex systems - like human emotion.

“If x, therefore y” only works as an absolute when every single node is predictable and the variables involved are limited to what’s within your control.

In a situation like being an abuse of DV victim (regardless of gender) we need to look at factors like their core emotional state entering, how the abusive partner robbed them of their autonomy or confidence (assuming they had confidence), what, in their upbringing has made them susceptible to this abuse? What specific emotional tics does this abuser hit? What was the anchor point that created this sense of perception of hope of change? and so on and so on

Your “if they stay with trash people then they are trash” immediately falls apart when you factor that in alone.

And that’s not even getting into how trash is defined. What is a good person? At what point does a person become good? How is a person’s value determined? Why is the value system you connect to it even accurate or correct? Does the social and cultural framework fit into this? Does how the person was raised fit into this?

My point is, “if X, therefore y” works when we’re dealing with simple systems. The cognitive experience in it itself is deeply complex and too multi layered for this

NoBlacksmith8137 · 2026-01-25T20:38:29+00:00

I wouldn’t say they are bad women. They are women often with a lot of baggage… and “baggage” isn’t a moral failing.

ThatBitchA · 2026-01-25T20:45:30+00:00

Who is jealous of trash men?

Those who are victims of abuse aren't trash. Being abused rewires your brain. So those who have been abused can find themselves in other abusive situations because it appears "normal" to them. It takes tremendous effort, healing, and therapy to overcome and rewire the brain.

Men (and women) who abuse others are trash. Full stop.

AngeAware · 2026-01-25T21:03:27+00:00

So for some reason when we talk about women going for bad men, felons, drug users, known DV enthusiasts, men with a reputation of ...let's say not hearing no, women on here run interference avd chide us for believing in our lying eyes and further insult our discernment by saying "the women going for these bad men are bad them selves"

Yes. Hello? How can you reconcile a woman being an innocent and virtuous person with her dating a dude who is borderline if not straight-up comic book levels of unhinged/evil?

Real life isn't a comic book. Abused women come from all walks of life and find themselves there in lots of ways. I had a Catholic school teacher from an affluent family who shared her story about her golden boy hometown hero BF who almost punched her in the face and probably would have if her roommate hadn't threatened to call the police.

I've had dudes on this very sub say I was being unfair and too harsh on men for setting hard dealbreakers like no yelling at me, calling me out of my name, slamming doors, destroying things, etc. I'm the type who's not waiting around to see if any of those actions escalate to abuse. Unfortunately many women are told "that's just how men are." And if he falls short of the straight-up comicbook abuser stereotypes, like comes from a good family, straight A student, goes to church, articulates himself well, etc., surely he's a good man who's just going through a stressful time right now right? Nah fuck that, I'm out.

LaFrescaTrumpeta · 2026-01-25T21:38:52+00:00

the convos i’ve seen include generalizations that women are attracted to criminals like serial rapists because there are serial rapists who get fan mail from women. my response will always and forever be that those women are fucked up mentally, be them trauma victims or psychopaths themselves, not dissimilar from the way those criminal men are fucked up mentally. same can be said about less extreme cases of women who seek abusive men (and vice versa, plenty of men seek abusive women, too). i’m comfortable saying none of them have healthy self esteems, none of them should be treated as generalizable representatives of their entire gender. how often do you push back against such generalizations yourself? do you see someone say “well Bundy had female fans which proves that attraction to powerful psychopaths is a female trait” where you just scroll past uncritically?

mashedturnip · 2026-01-25T21:46:47+00:00

How do we square this ?

Very easily — by knowing that people lie, propaganda/advertising works, and relationships are desired

And by assigning blame to the perp, not victims

LolaPaloz · 2026-01-25T21:18:36+00:00

Do U know how psychotic U sound?

So Ur going to tell for example, child victims of Epstein they were bad ppl cos they fell into trafficking?

People who are abused usually do not choose this. U can call them vulnerable and even traumatised, but usually not "bad people "

This sub itself is turning into trash tier because of all the redpill and incel dudes using it as a soapbox for their ideas

Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-01-25T21:01:07+00:00

There are women who seek out relationships with abusive men, and women who get into relationships with men then find out they are abusive later.

The former might either be a bad person herself, or had been in previously abusive relationships (not just romantic) and is simply continuing the pattern of abuse since it's what she's used to. The latter is a victim who had trusted the wrong person.

This isn't gender specific, and happens to alot of men as well.

OP, do you not understand how deceptive manipulative people can be? Does your disdain of women completely cloud your sense of judgement when it comes to having empathy for victims of abuse? Or are you just mad that these women chose to fuck other men than you?

DMmeClownPics · 2026-01-25T21:57:58+00:00

No, I don’t think I was a bad person for being in an abusive relationship. I sought help to leave many times and was betrayed by those I had trusted to help me. They handed me right back to my abuser instead. My biggest fear about leaving was that he would abuse our child if I weren’t there to make sure that he didn’t. Sure enough, within three years of me finally getting fed up enough to leave despite this fear, he started abusing our child instead. She hid it from me for many years but eventually told me when she started to have major psychiatric problems. He has been in prison for the last 10 years for it.

I stayed in that relationship as long as I did because I knew in my heart of hearts that my child was not safe with that man. I knew it before she was born. I begged him to consent to adopting her out and he refused. So I stayed to make sure nothing happened to her until I just couldn’t anymore.

the_scar_when_you_go · 2026-01-25T22:54:42+00:00

Naive, emotionally unhealthy, etc, aren't synonymous with "trash" or "bad." Ideally, the avg man is giving those women space to grow and heal, not chasing after them to take advantage of them. "You don't want those women," is a succinct way to encourage that.

ladybird_00 · 2026-01-25T20:35:36+00:00

Idk if I’d say those women are also trash but there’s definitely something wrong with them mentally.

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ResponsibilityAny217 · 2026-01-25T21:32:34+00:00

For some yes.

Like the women that go after/love men who are serial killers or the like. I immediately fear them the same way I fear that serial killing man.

I think they are bad ppl too. Not as much as the serial killer but still very bad and dangerous

IDK if u have ever read dark romances but in dark romances the Female lead (FL) ( falls in love with a bad guy. The Female leads personality can range from morally grey to weak but innocent.

By the end of the story she is in love with the Guy and they are both evil.

Ex : normal woman falls in love with Mafia man...by the end of the story she is helping run the mafia.

For some no.

Some are stupid, have low self esteem, weak, ignorant, naive, not risk averse, not from a good family, don't have family etc. I always think they have something wrong though. Maybe not bad but definitely something wrong.

mashedturnip · 2026-01-25T21:46:37+00:00

Very easily — people lie and propaganda/advertising works

MoonriseOverEarth · 2026-01-26T02:31:44+00:00

People here really do look at things as black and white. It's all gray.

It's not that a woman has to be bad to end up in a relationship with bad men, it's just that if a woman does it repetitively, it's an indication that she's got some internal work to do, likely has poor interpersonal skills, and may be a poor match for a decent man.

This, btw, works entirely in the other direction as well. Men too can get sucked into relationships with bad women That doesn't necessarily make them bad, but if they do it repetitively, there is often a chance that dude needs to do some internal work.

So yes, a lot of gray here.

First, hubris, it will never happen to me. In my professional/personal life, I have had to deal with a lot of romeo-juliet scans and pig butchering scams. The worst, dumbest thing, a person can say is that "it will never happen to me." Do not underestimate the power of our own mind being used against us. People are desperate to feel alive and to feel loved and to feel valued. It's not a "just woman" thing. How many guys here insist they will take anything, no matter how much of an awful person she is, just to feel chosen and loved. A teen girl, ignored, over looked, told she was too fat and ugly (it me!), a nerdy DnD who never gets a call back? Oh girl ripe for the picking. Fifty year old men, facing mortality with a divorce under his belt? Forty-five year old woman, never married though she wanted it, over looked? Prime for the picking.

Second, abuse is the water we swim in. Daddy knocked momma around and she placated his sorry ass and then he brought her roses. Momma threatened to kill herself all the time and Daddy gave in to whatever she wanted. Daddy dealt drugs, and Momma turned tricks. The only boys who made it on the block joined the gang. The kids see this as normal and chose it again.

Third, a smooth criminal. Kid is 18 (I've seen boys fall into this too, my own brother in fact). Naive. New partner love bombs, brings roses, does early sex, etc. NRE makes you ignore any subtle red flags. Then six months down the line, you find out she's cheating or he's knocked you around. If you are lucky, you are still independent and have good friends and you get the hell out of there. You learn to watch out for the manipulator again. But people can end up baby trapped or married and financially dependent. Without a strong safety net escape becomes so much harder.

Fourth, I'm a bad person too. They are Bonnie and Clydes. They are partners in crime. They are both bad bad people.

Here is the thing, though, for a lot of these people who do get sucked in and stay in (that's the real key, that last part), they may not be bad people, but often they have really fucked up interpersonal skills. They pair up with a normie and do shit that drive that normie crazy, like accusing him of cheating when he comes home late, doing shit tests, or stalking him (or her). Normie people with decent relationship skills usually sus out quickly when someone else is bad news, and get out of there.

I was absolutely a bad dating partner, but not a bad person, when I was in my teens and early twenties. I was desperate, I overshared, I was controlling, I had poor boundaries, I stood for bad behavior, all because I was so desperate to be loved. And no shock, I got involved with another disaster. I did a lot of counseling.

Don't hanker after these women (or men) who find themselves drawn into constant bad relationships. They are likely not the heathiest choice for you.

Tylikcat · 2026-01-26T03:40:07+00:00

Where are you seeing these women who are going for bad men?

There's a tiny minority of women who go for famous criminals. (Though courting someone who is locked up in prison is open to interpretation - do they like him being a criminal, or being locked up?) There are few similarly famous women criminals, though it's not unknown for men to court them.

There are women who get into relationships with men who turn out to be abusers. (And the boundary case of women who get involved with men whom they've been warned about. I'd have to see this more on a case by case basis. I've been warned about men before, and many of those warnings were off base. No one warned me not to date my ex, who did in fact try and abuse me, though it didn't end well for him. Hell, my mom tried to set me up with him, and invited him to move in with me. Which is fucking obnoxious if only because I'm the only one who gets to make that invitation.)

Do you actually know women who are seeking out criminals? No "have seen on Jerry Springer" but actually know.

Or is this "bad boys" which usually seems to mean guys who are socially adept and embrace styles and activities associated with "lower" classes.

SwimmingTheme3736 · 2026-02-03T07:28:11+00:00

You are trying so hard to make abuse by men the woman’s fault.

Title	Abused women are trash teir?
Author	Maleficent-Remote580
Upvotes	0
Comments	120
Date	January 25, 2026 8:26 PM UTC (5 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1qmucs2/abused_women_are_trash_teir/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/abused-women-are-trash-teir.1571949 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571949

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