Having a boyfriend is embarrassing now

>But there was an overwhelming sense, from single and partnered women alike, that regardless of the relationship, being with a man was an almost guilty thing to do.

Men aren’t exactly thrilled with the benefits of happy monogamy either

Yet men’s desire for sex and women’s bifurcated desire for sex and money aren’t going anywhere (even women making millions want men making more).

So that’s where they’ll go: casual and sugar

Leaving aside that marriage rates are down:

• Cohabitation is delayed or avoided

• Career and lifestyle autonomy are prioritized

• Social media and apps create constant optionality

• Financial independence (especially for women) removes the old provider model

• Sexual access no longer requires long-term commitment

So what’s left holding traditional monogamy together?

Not much structurally. Mostly preference and sentiment, which is also eroding quickly to the point it’s now embarrassing

A nonmarital “boyfriend” in the context of history was already very casual. So what’s left?

Casual / non-exclusive dating

Low commitment, low risk, high optionality, suitable to modern mobility and wageslaving career focus and infinite-scroll dating apps.

Sugar / explicit provision

Clear expectations where time, attention, and resources are directly negotiated rather than implied through a vague, embarrassing “relationship escalator”

What seems to be fading is the embarrassing middle: boyfriend/girlfriend with implied exclusivity and future planning, a model reliant on social pressure, fewer alternatives, economic interdependence, and reputational constraints that are now relics of the past