A woman is never "not ready for a relationship"

Destinyciello · 2026-04-05T19:15:38+00:00

You could have summarized it by saying.

"If a woman tells you she is not ready for a relationship. What that really means is she is not INTERESTED in a relationship WITH YOU." This is a well known fact. It's just a way for them to shoot you down gently.

Altruistic_Look_7868 · 2026-04-05T20:21:23+00:00

Why would you want to be the rebound? You should be thanking her for telling you upfront.

anewleaf1234 · 2026-04-05T22:04:15+00:00

I have a female friend who just got out of an abusive relationship.

She has zero interest in dating anyone right now.

So you are wrong

BigMadLad · 2026-04-05T20:12:03+00:00

I’d argue it’s men who are more likely to never truly be not ready for a relationship. There’s just far more cost associated with entering on a relationship with women. They have their physical safety and sexual health to think about, worries about pregnancy, etc. The initial investment is higher

MiddleZealousideal89 · 2026-04-05T20:26:05+00:00

Could be the right person, but the wrong time. You're not always ready for all a relationship requires. Your mental health might be in the shitter, you're prioritizing your education/work in that moment and don't have the energy for a relationship, you could have just gotten out of a relationship and want to be alone for a while.

Sure, some people will use the "I'm not ready for a relationship" line to let someone down gently. I think it's better to just say that you're not interested in that person specifically, but seeing how some guys react to that, maybe saying "it's not you, it's me" could be a safer bet sometimes.

operation-spot · 2026-04-05T21:09:07+00:00

At least for me, when I say that I'm not lying. I'm coming to terms with the fact that I have an extremely avoidant personality and that I don't actually feel capable of dealing with anyone else's emotions when I'm in the process of changing meds and figuring out what works best for me.

With that said, I have really tried to keep the conversation going on apps when I'm only getting single sentence responses if I really like the person but in the end I often give up because it's just tiring. I've even gotten all the way to the first date and then thought "what do I even want with this guy" and just ended things.

Sometimes, people aren't trying to soften the blow when they tell you they're the problem and not you.

pie-mart · 2026-04-05T19:15:01+00:00

Lmao what a stupid take. I have definitely not been ready for a relationship. It had nothing to do with the guy, how hot, good at sex, rich, or whatever he was. Cuz I was not prepared for the emotional and relationship maintenance that it takes to maintain a relationship

I was fatigued with life. Quite bitter and annoyed and pissy and just not ready to promise a deep emotional connection and relationship with someone I knew I wouldn't be able to keep.

So, why would I say I am ready for a relationship knowing I'd put in 0 effort nor care about the relationship?

We aren't these creatures who uniformly crave a relationship. Sometimes we want just sex. Sometimes we don't want anything and wanna be alone

Expensive_Lion1807 · 2026-04-05T21:39:04+00:00

There are a few possible situations:

1). It’s a comforting fib to let a “wrong” guy down easy.

2). It’s the absolute truth and isn’t flexible no matter how “right” the guy is. And yes, this is a thing.

3). It’s a feeling but is flexible (aka worth a chance) if someone too good to pass up comes along.

Any one of those could be the case in any individual situation.

ThatBitchA · 2026-04-05T19:15:37+00:00

I've had at least 2 men be the right man that I rejected because I wasn't ready for a relationship.

There are many times with women or men aren't ready for a relationship.

It's a lot of what people call, "timing".

SeaworthinessSea2407 · 2026-04-05T20:23:47+00:00

Yeah this REEKS of resentment. Sometimes people in general try dating and realize they don't have the bandwidth for something more serious. Some people just want sex. Some are in fact never going to be ready for a relationship with you. This is also not a women specific thing, men do it too. I've had your exact experience being told by women I've dated that they're not ready for a relationship and then soon after they are in one. You know what I did in response? Moved on. If someone didn't wanna date me why would I bother being upset about that when I can just keep at it and eventually meet my person (which did end up working out)

Fondacey · 2026-04-06T09:49:56+00:00

A woman is never not ready for a relationship, if the right guy comes along they will give themselves up to him.

That is such moronic nonsense.

razloz166 · 2026-04-05T19:36:06+00:00

Fantastic.

So what are we debating?

Downtown_Cat_1745 · 2026-04-05T19:43:36+00:00

I think your overall point is not wrong, in that people are less likely to feel ambivalent about commitment if they are really into the person.

However, there is a huge range of what people consider appealing in a partner. Don’t whine about how someone should lower their standards, and instead find someone who’s looking for someone like you.

I just had a family friend staying with me for the Jewish holiday, a young man in his late 20s. We treat him like a nephew, and my kids (teens) treat him like a cousin. We have known him since he was in undergrad, and he’s almost done with his PhD.

He’s always been single for the time that I have known him, going on dates here and there, but nothing serious. Now he’s dating someone, and he talks about her all the time.

My husband and I were the same way. We just knew. We had a fundamental understanding and affinity for each other that was different from anyone else we had ever met before.

The problem is that you guys are hung up on the incorrect belief that all women are interested in the same man

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ConTrikster · 2026-04-05T21:41:58+00:00

Yes this is obvious but this is universal: man or woman.

You will make accommodations and time for the things you want. The “I’m not ready yet” is just I’m not ready/ wanting to date YOU. A lot of times they are hoping they can get something better.

Humans are actually simple/similar biologically/psychology. You won’t reject a good deal of a mate (in your eyes) if the opportunity presents itself

KayRay1994 · 2026-04-05T21:53:11+00:00

Breaking news: people will take a risk past their own boundaries for a person who vibes well enough with them.

I don’t think your conclusion is “women are always ready for a relationship and are lying to you” - it could literally be that she might not be entirely ready, but someone came in to make her question that.

And even then, there are times where it is a ‘lie’ - but largely as self protection. Sure, a part of it is to avoid hurting your feelings but also…. How guys react to rejection can get unpredictable. It can go anywhere from “I’ll keep trying to win you over”, to genuine anger and letting it out on her. Whether verbally or otherwise.

Theawkwardmochi · 2026-04-06T00:41:01+00:00

Both women and men are expected to let people down gently. Of course she or he will tell you "I'm not ready for a relationship", not "I don't really feel very attracted to you, your stories bore me, you drool way too much when you kiss, your ears have a weird shape, I'm totally not getting your humor, your hate for pineapple on pizza is pathetic when you think it's funny, also your farts smell like rotten egg and you probably should get that checked mate, or eat less broccoli, which, by the way, sits between your teeth a lot, like Mother Nature's own way of saying you gotta floss, but you don't seem to be getting the message".

It's an "OP has been living under a rock the whole time, crawled out and got mad discovering something everyone has known forever" kind of thread. It's obvious that when people tell you they're not ready, they're not ready for anything with YOU. And that's a good thing. You don't REALLY want people to tell you why they're not attracted to you. "It's not you it's me" and "I'm not ready" are a way of protecting your feelings. Accept it and move on.

Secret_Entry1840 · 2026-04-06T02:01:40+00:00

I’m insecure. I have body issues inside and out. I’ve been working on it. I have an anxious and avoidant attachment style. I’ve been really interested in a guy and ran because I don’t want to be toxic and end up hurting him and myself.

That being said. If someone rejects you, for whatever reason they give you, why does it matter? A rejection is a rejection. My ex said he was done and didn’t want another relationship after we broke up. He was with the woman I knew was his type within a month. I’ve stayed single.

ta06012022 · 2026-04-06T02:59:44+00:00

A woman is never not ready for a relationship, if the right guy comes along they will give themselves up to him. What I mean by that is they'll make it easy for him, laugh at his dumb jokes, try to spend as much time with him as possible and also reply to his texts faster. If they are truly attracted to you and you shoot ur shot you're most likely secure them.

Not my experience when I was younger. Back when I was in college, I absolutely found girls who didn't want relationships. There were a couple of them who would sleep with me every day of the week for a long time, but didn't want anything more than that when I tried. One went on that way for most of a year.

When women are young (like 18-22 age group), I found that some genuinely didn't want a relationship.

RevolutionaryJob7908 · 2026-04-06T06:34:56+00:00

It's possible that they aren't ready for a relationship, and its possible they are using the slogan as an excuse to reject you. What happens is some not all, men don't take rejection very well, so it forces women who experienced a failed attempt to reject them.. a different strategy to take, 'just say whatever works'. At least for me, I've had to change how I interact myself, and it's not easy for me to figure out right away. I still haven't been able to successfully handle issuing rejections so sometimes I have to say 'whatever works'. Women all act different and often the worst outcome is they want to destroy your reputation for rejecting them, in whatever means they think of. It can be something like telling everyone 'he must have a needle pp' or anything really to get under the guys skin. So it forced me to just lie when rejecting, assume they wont be able to handle it, so say whatever works. I think about it often because I'm against lying, so I'm still looking at new strategies, warding. To ward and prevent interest from having opportunity in the first place.

I feel my experiences can be related to how women get approached from men they don't like. So when she says 'not ready for a relationship', she's just not interested. It can be not interested, for reason stated, or just doesn't want to figure it out. As a man, just say to self 'she's not interested'. You don't know why, it doesn't matter. The answer is given and you don't have to try again later if you don't want to.

PotentialPresent399 · 2026-04-06T20:15:06+00:00

Nah this is cap I lean more towards being on mens side most times but theres absolutely a spot to be in life man or woman that after something serious and sad that you wouldn't want companionship for a time. Also if the relationship was smothering too.

New found freedom to be alone can be invigorating and grief after a true deep relationship will make you not want to connect with new people as well.

Suspicious_Glove7365 · 2026-04-06T20:24:33+00:00

I’ve literally made it explicitly clear to men that I was not looking for a relationship. Just hookups. And I meant it. So…that was rather easy to disprove.

vtribal · 2026-04-05T19:32:05+00:00

no one is ever "not ready for a relationship" they just think they could do better than you in that moment

Training-Cook3507 · 2026-04-05T19:34:53+00:00

Mostly. It's definitely true that for most women if a guy hot enough in their mind comes along they will change things in their life for them. However, the issue is that a lot of women can't attract a guy like this. So for the guys they can land... they may not be as attracted to them... and other factors may come into play to make the relationship work.

GuyInBudapest · 2026-04-05T21:27:39+00:00

it works for both genders

on instagram unattractive/old women cope by calling men who don't commit to them "emotionally unvailable", when those men don't commit to them simply because they are out of their league.

Title	A woman is never "not ready for a relationship"
Author	BowsyWowsy26
Upvotes	0
Comments	59
Date	April 5, 2026 7:11 PM UTC (3 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1sdc7rn/a_woman_is_never_not_ready_for_a_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/a-woman-is-never-not-ready-for-a-relationship.1577224 https://theredarchive.com/post/1577224

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