Can my wife first leave me and then have me pay her child support for 18 years?

thetituscodex · 2026-05-14T20:04:56+00:00

In my state if one party leaves the state with the child, without the other parties consent ... party 1 is kidnapping the child and goes to jail.

Hold_The_Line_2026 · 2026-05-14T13:51:17+00:00

You're gonna pay first for being stupid second for failing to see this woman only wanted you for her meal ticket.

47omek · 2026-05-14T13:08:47+00:00

Get a paternity test on the child. With her being away from you for all but a 3-month timeframe it's entirely possible the child isn't yours.

Boliviascott · 2026-05-14T12:11:23+00:00

You need to protect assets and get a court order for paternity. Most men dont want to get a paternity test but California can make you pay child support for children that arent yours if you accept, even passively, paternity for a certain amount of time. At the same time make a police report of the child abduction since she cant take a child from one country to the next without parental consent, including yours. Now above all get an attorney

throwaway_coy4wttf79 · 2026-05-14T11:35:01+00:00

Pretty sure you're fucked but get a lawyer immediately.

Chance-Aspect8009 · 2026-05-14T11:24:47+00:00

Get a proper attorney

afromanisgonnadoya · 2026-05-14T10:49:31+00:00

You can move to Canada.

My ex left the state after getting pregnant. When she gave birth, I just shifted to where she was staying. She is still salty that I won't let her move back now.

RespectInevitable479 · 2026-05-14T03:59:37+00:00

You will pay child support if she comes back to USA so just save until then

apatrol · 2026-05-14T03:39:57+00:00

So your doing well. Get a feaking attorney. File before her. She is not wealthy bury her in legal stuff over custody. Canada does not like one parent taking a child anymore than the US.

Dont be a penis or AH but make it clear you will be involved. She will be paying for flights to return the child from visits and personally bringing the child until the child is aged to be unaccompanied.

Down size the house if you are not underwater and free up cash.

I can gurantee she did this on purpose. I am truly sorry you are going through this. There truly are bad people in the world that prey on the lonely. I know from experience you learn and one day will find a good women but heal from this first. Good luck brother!

Minimum_Step5048 · 2026-05-14T03:12:44+00:00

I don’t know what it is in California but in my state it is they pay for half the length of the marriage

Bluetoes1 · 2026-05-14T02:41:18+00:00

Get a lawyer

DarthDad25 · 2026-05-14T02:15:00+00:00

She can’t take the child and randomly move back to Canada without you consenting to it. That child is just as much yours as it is hers.

Life lesson- don’t marry a woman who has always been toxic to you. Don’t procreate with that woman either. But what’s done is done and you have an amazing child from it. So there is silver lining. If you’re planning on letting her take the child and leave the country and not playing a role in the child’s life then be prepared to get slapped with the largest child support payment the formula allows.

My advice- be a father. That child is yours. It’s going to need you. Especially if the mother is “toxic”.

WittyNameNo2 · 2026-05-14T01:35:03+00:00

Yes. You should still have to pay for your kid.

twiggyRamirez11 · 2026-05-14T01:07:23+00:00

I had a similar situation but I filled for divorce and got 50/50 custody, taking your child more than 50miles from where you filled for divorce or lived the past 6 months is kidnapping, at least in Florida, get a lawyer asap

lewtus72 · 2026-05-14T00:11:42+00:00

Yes, you're going to have to pay child support in some places. Make you pay until they're 19. Even I went through that. You should file for divorce in the United States. Otherwise you're going to have to be going to Canada and deal with that.. He probably will have to pay alimony and typically for half the time You've been married. You haven't stated if you want to be part of the child's life? She can't simply run to another country with a kid if you were. You'll need to figure that part out if you want custody but you are going to have to pay child's support

RedRibbon3KS · 2026-05-13T23:20:15+00:00

Chances are that you will have to pay child support for 18 years. The justice system is unfair. No doubt about that. Even my divorce lawyer agreed when I said that. Just find a divorce lawyer that is a bulldog and familiar with international divorce issues

DistrictDivorceCoach · 2026-05-13T23:12:21+00:00

First, yes, you must support your child for the next 18 years, regardless of anything else. Whether you pay child support is going to be directly tied to custody. My ex and I share 50/50, had similar incomes, so there is no child support. That is what we agreed to in accordance with local laws. You are going to need to figure out custody, there will be some international regulations that will have some influence. I have no idea. what Canada rules are, and I am not sure if child support can be enforced across borders or what kind of visitation you are legally entitled to. You need to talk to a lawyer.

MaineMan1234 · 2026-05-13T23:06:52+00:00

Did you get married in Canada or The US?

Jwoot1111 · 2026-05-13T22:52:43+00:00

Yea. Basically. Unless you get custody. Just be glad you won’t have alimony obligations for life. Or at all.

FluffyApartment596 · 2026-05-13T22:52:39+00:00

Save yourself some legal (and travel) fees and file first in the US.

UrAristotle · 2026-05-13T22:32:28+00:00

Consult a lawyer. See what you can do to get primary custody (called standard possession in my state) or 50/50. Be prepared for a drawn out fight especially where international law is concerned.

Unsainted_smoke · 2026-05-13T22:28:13+00:00

You have to pay. No way around it. Unless you get full custody

Title	Can my wife first leave me and then have me pay her child support for 18 years?
Author	Loose-Replacement607
Upvotes	12
Comments	34
Date	May 13, 2026 9:32 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1tcdlzs/can_my_wife_first_leave_me_and_then_have_me_pay/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/can-my-wife-first-leave-me-and-then-have-me-pay.1580359 https://theredarchive.com/post/1580359

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