"Women should take me as I am!" is men also being picky like women if he's not likable.

The_Laniakean · 2026-06-04T21:56:18+00:00

Im not saying you're wrong, but if im an average unexceptional man who is looking for an average unexceptional woman, am I dilusional?

Reasonable_Mouse789 · 2026-06-04T21:22:22+00:00

We don’t care about your advice towards guys you’re clearly not attracted to. We think those sexual relationships will lose their spark and fail. If you think a guy “being himself” is terrible, then you’re probably grossed out towards him. You’re encouraging guys to embrace relationships where they’ll probably end up dead bedroomed by a woman who would prefer to sleep with someone else. She can replace a guy she wouldn’t sleep with enthusiastically extremely easily with online dating, and divorce tends to benefit women a little bit, so those relationships are basically dead to us in 2026. We can’t copy the Boomer dynamics of trying to marry women who don’t want to have sex with us.

The problem is, any woman who wants to have sex with us is someone we can get “relatively easily”. This leads to a sort of societal stalemate. Women tend to have to be in relationships with guys who are 100% positive they can “get a similar woman” repeatedly, which means any bumps in the relationship probably won’t go in favor of the woman

captaindestucto · 2026-06-04T22:29:40+00:00

Being mediocre and wanting someone mediocre isn't being picky. Mediocre women don't "deserve" a 6 figure earning professional any more than schlubby men deserve an Instagram model.

MarioWilson122 · 2026-06-05T04:01:25+00:00

I don't think that's usually true. Most men are not walking around demanding some perfect 10/10 dream woman. A lot of men are actually pretty flexible compared to what women are willing to accept, especially when it comes to looks, income, height, status, education, or social position.

The problem is that people often define "reasonable" in a way that only applies to men. If a man says he doesn't want a woman who is far beneath what he finds attractive or compatible, suddenly he's accused of being unrealistic. Yet plenty of basic or below-average women are not willing to date men who are actually on their level or even slightly above it, and that gets framed as standards.

That's the double standard. Men are often expected to lower their standards to whoever is available, while women are encouraged to hold out for what they want. So no, I don't think men's standards are usually the same as the women they criticize. In many cases, men are more willing to compromise. The issue starts when people act like a man having any baseline preference is entitlement.

matthedev · 2026-06-04T21:08:48+00:00

Clarification: How many of the dudes on here are actively posting that they're mediocre or want to disrespect a future partner? That would sound like depression to admit to such or believe they are.

If a person knows they kinda suck, it's not really contentious that they're limiting their options until they try to suck less. Not really a gender-specific thing either.

Emotional_Meal748 · 2026-06-04T21:41:15+00:00

It’s like they are just realizing men are human beings too

Redbird2992 · 2026-06-04T21:23:18+00:00

I don’t really get the correlation, unless it’s a weird strawman attempt at using the “worst man as all men”. Everybody has negative traits and nobody is perfect so I don’t see how saying “I want somebody who accepts me even though I’m imperfect” which seems to be a mix of love and empathy is being too “picky” when talking about a potential spouse.

As an example, I’m 6’0” and used to weigh 425lbs, I’m currently 200 and I can’t even begin to describe how much nicer people are to me now simply because I’m not bigger. As a married man (met after losing the weight), I’d really hope that my wife would continue treating me like she loved and cared for me even if something happened and I regained some of that. Same can be said regarding my job, hopefully she will she still show me love if I get laid off, or if I experience a health issue and can no longer do the things she’s come to rely on me for.

Same in reverse, if my wife goes through some struggles should I try to understand what’s going on so that I can support her in a loving and caring way, or should I just tell her to shape up or I’m leaving? Just trying to make sure I understand your logic.

calmly86 · 2026-06-05T00:00:27+00:00

I remember a Chris Rock stand up line about the difference between men and women lying. He said men lie the most but women tell the biggest lies. A man's lie is that he was at his friend's house when he wasn't. A woman's lie is "it's your baby" when it's another man's.

When it comes to pickiness and the "demand" to be taken as they are, there is no comparison.

Women will turn down a man for not being over six feet tall, something that is completely out of his control, but become angry if a man declines to have anything to do with her because she has multiple children by another man, something that was completely within her control.

Think about it... she thinks her three kids should be "no big deal" to a man who KNOWS he will be expected to eventually financially, emotionally, and sometimes physically provide for HER and another man's children... and yet if he's 5'9" those last three inches of height are an immediate dismissal.

Three inches of height... versus over a decade and more of investing in children who aren't his.

It's not even close.

ARTriple · 2026-06-05T01:59:45+00:00

"I want a woman to honestly like me" isn't the same as a woman listing all these traits she wants in a man....on the surface.

it's not the same in depth either lmfao

"I want a woman that's okay with being disrespected, taken for granted, and only serves to validate me"

[citation needed]

criticalcry-tactic00 · 2026-06-05T03:46:02+00:00

No that is being genuine, and with reasobable expectations.

statsfodder · 2026-06-05T07:22:53+00:00

See also

"If he can't handle me at my worst, he doesn't deserve me at my best" - perfectly ok for a woman to scream from the rooftops and be cheered for doing so... so umm what's your point aside from "men are trash!!!.. again"

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Illustrious_Wish_383 · 2026-06-05T03:38:13+00:00

Most people, men or women, are by definition somewhere in the realm of average, within 1-2 standard deviations. Why we think average means below average or loser is anyone's guess.

Proudvow · 2026-06-05T06:48:02+00:00

Wanting someone with similar traits to you will never be picky.

statsfodder · 2026-06-05T07:20:50+00:00

Let's see If you are even remotely good faith..

If you dislike men in general why do you care if their standards remove you from their dating pool?

If men are obviously "unlikeable" that makes them easier to avoid, therefore a good thing, right?

What is your core, HONEST, reason for having so much dislike (I'd call it hate but we will keep it light) for men in general? Every post you put up is basically saying "men are shit, here's my latest reason as to why...."

AlarmingToe8503 · 2026-06-05T07:34:56+00:00

Why would a woman want you? What does liking you look like?

You seem to have stumbled across the fact that being unattractive is a deeply unpleasant experience. All I will say here is that I wish I had the type of personality women find attractive, but short of a brain injury that makes me into a completely different person, therexs nothing that's going to stop me from thinking "God, I wish a girl would just like me for who I am."

Sorry_Information749 · 2026-06-05T08:59:51+00:00

This is litterally why the red pill was invented. Some men on here might not understand it but its about showing how you are the most special person she can get. Giving up and doing the bare minimum is not trying to attract a woman.

Alive_Message9346 · 2026-06-05T13:09:55+00:00

There is a massive difference between wanting basic respect and having a checklist of physical requirements before you even say hello.

Fine-Double6335 · 2026-06-04T22:20:12+00:00

I’ll start by saying i agree with you. Some men have it in their head that they should guilt women into liking them, instead of improving themselves to be worthy of female attention.

But on the other hand, would you say the same for women who say the same thing while being overweight/rude/entitled? They want a 6’ tall, chiseled abs and millionaire guy but don’t want to lose the weight? Should men accept such women no matter what?

For the most part, I agree with you, but do you think it cuts both ways? If not then you’re just a hypocrite and I’m not sure how much stock to put this post.

"Women should take me as I am!" is men also being picky like women if he's not likable.

Comments

So is Uncle Ruckus.

So not most men.

That's exactly how guys here sound.

Title	"Women should take me as I am!" is men also being picky like women if he's not likable.
Author	LillthOfBabylon
Upvotes	0
Comments	142
Date	June 4, 2026 8:52 PM UTC (1 month ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1tx06rb/women_should_take_me_as_i_am_is_men_also_being/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/women-should-take-me-as-i-am-is-men-also-being.1582082 https://theredarchive.com/post/1582082