Debate: women are allowed to distrust men, men are not allowed to distrust women (repost as I dodn't partipate within three hours)

Kitty_Overlord · 2026-07-04T16:11:36+00:00

My question for you would be

Is your goal of this post to talk specifically about child custody split (As I've seen you said a lot of commenters discuss about custody)

Or would you like to talk more about your overall empirical observation that

People often infer hidden motives, and you think they do it more with men than with women?

I think these are 2 distinct duscussion, and I see both premises in your post. I wonder which is closer to your intention so we don't talk past each other 😸

JollyBowler2510 · 2026-07-04T20:30:39+00:00

I mean, to be fair, I would ask you both the same questions. Distrust all day long, but leading with distrust isn't going to make relationships work, and that goes for men and women.

Lacunaethra · 2026-07-04T17:06:01+00:00

I actually agree with your core point somehow.

Someone benefiting from a law doesn’t automatically mean they’re trying to abuse it, so jumping from i want 50/50 custody laws to “sure u plan to divorce and steal custody” is a pretty big leap

Where u lose me is the broader gender conclusion. Women get motives projected onto them all the time as well, in fact, it happens to anyone, cause there are more than enough people around who looove to do that.

Some even project motives on a whole gender :)

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2026-07-04T21:35:04+00:00

You literally volunteered that divorce custody law was one of the reasons you wanted to move. Of course people asked about it. If someone told me they were moving to a state because it doesn’t have the death penalty, I’d probably wonder why too. That isn’t hypocrisy. It’s a pretty normal follow up to the reason you chose to emphasize.

You’re also taking a handful of Reddit replies and turning them into a claim about how society treats men and women. That’s a huge leap. If someone accused a woman of marrying a wealthy man because she was planning to divorce him for alimony, most people would call that an unfair assumption too. You’re comparing situations that aren’t actually equivalent.

Gravel_Roads · 2026-07-04T16:07:42+00:00

No one can stop you from distrusting anyone.

I recommend not trusting anyone that hasn’t earned it. Red Pill literally called it “I Am The Prize.”

bluestjuice · 2026-07-04T16:21:21+00:00

I don't think you needed to make up a fallacy to describe making assumptions about other people.

PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-07-04T18:32:44+00:00

I think everyone is pretty equally allowed to distrust everyone especially on an individual scale. I'm constantly shocked by how much men won't distrust women and protect themselves or that when they do it's nuclear options instead of much lighter options.

If you mean in internet arguments for fun...I dunno. I haven't been overwhelmed by the good faith of men here. And I also haven't been overwhelmed by the good faith of women here, we just happen to agree more often generically.

As for projecting motivations...usually the men tell you their motivations at least around these parts. Like, I'm not trying hard nor reaching deep when I say you've basically said you're motivated by anxieties about problems which haven't even arisen in a relationship you don't even have....you told us all that in your last big post and then tried to gotcha your way out of it by claiming your concerns about possible divorce are the same as women's concerns over pregnancy and child rearing...but your concern isn't a foregone conclusion like theirs is. I don't have to invent anything when you tell us this. And I'm not even making fun of you BTW. I feel sad for anyone letting unreasonable anxieties rule their life.

TermAggravating8043 · 2026-07-04T16:37:46+00:00

I’d love to actually see that thread because I remember it and didn’t see anybody criticise the op wanting to be a stay at home dad with 50/50

Let’s all remember the default everywhere is 50/50, judges for by what’s best for the child.

Lots of men just don’t like to admit that children are hard work and a full time job, they want someone else to raise their kids for them but don’t want to pay for it either.

Of the 5 couples I know that divorced after kids, only 1 stepped up to have his child 50/50.

Edit, someone’s commented but Reddit won’t let me see it however I can see the first line edict immediately goes to blame women for picking the guy in the first place. So again, men not taking accountability for their own actions and looking to blame women even when she’s doing all the work.

This is why women pick the bear

Edit edit, just copy/pasted from earlier post

Pristine_Cost_3793 · 2026-07-05T05:41:03+00:00

you're just stringing words

men are allowed and SHOULD actually distrust women more. but the situation you're talking about is a very particular one, it's not a mirror as you'd like to paint it, it's echoing all the insulting ideas about women being manipulative gold-diggers.

why didn't you ask about stealing custody that the talk was about? why did you change it to alimony? you know these are different things, and it's hypocritical to pretend they're not.

Present-Afternoon-70 · 2026-07-04T16:11:10+00:00

You're overcomplicating something that's actually pretty simple.

Women distrusting men and men distrusting women aren't judged the same because they don't come from the same place.

Women's distrust is largely a response to a world where men commit the overwhelming majority of sexual violence, domestic violence, and coercive abuse. It's based on a statistically elevated risk created by systemic inequality.

Men's distrust of women, meanwhile, is usually the same recycled misogynistic bullshit: women are hypergamous, women only want money, women lie about rape, women divorce to steal your kids, women are naturally manipulative, etc.

Yeah, misandrist women exist. Nobody denies that. But you're trying to compare population-level trends by pretending every interaction exists in a vacuum.

Society doesn't work that way.

Context matters.

Power matters.

History matters.

Distrusting the group that disproportionately victimizes you isn't equivalent to distrusting the group that's historically been subordinated by stereotypes and patriarchal narratives. Those aren't the same thing, no matter how many fallacies you try to name-drop.

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Mundane-Name9646 · 2026-07-09T06:15:43+00:00

Because everything that a woman does is seen through the lens of empowerment and virtue

So if you have a very paranoid woman who keeps unnecessarily large stashes of money, and her husband is basically a good person, and they go that entire marriage literally with nothing bad happening her suspicion and distrust of her married partner is viewed as virtuous

When a man has similar sentiments, that usually comes across in narrative, such as gold digger, need to protect my assets, etc., he is viewed as the opposite of virtuous he is viewed as paranoid and sinful.

It’s all just the game to save face at the end of the day. The real take is that neither men nor women should care about made up social rules that actually have nothing to do with morality and simply look out for their best interests

GhostofTomJoadRATM · 2026-07-04T19:32:26+00:00

If you are so easily influenced by strangers on the internet, who seem to live rent free in your own head, then you stand no chances if you were in an actual relationship with a woman.

Title	Debate: women are allowed to distrust men, men are not allowed to distrust women (repost as I dodn't partipate within three hours)
Author	bigdonut100
Upvotes	33
Comments	107
Date	July 4, 2026 4:01 PM UTC (2 weeks ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1uncq2u/debate_women_are_allowed_to_distrust_men_men_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/debate-women-are-allowed-to-distrust-men-men-are.1584243 https://theredarchive.com/post/1584243

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