Full disclosure: my life is a fucking disaster right now. Not stressed, just fucking pissed.

So 99% of the time, my wife is on board with me. She believes the man is the man, she expects me to lead, she wants long sexy-times sessions. We chill, we talk, we contemplate life. But then she starts to drink. And it all goes downhill. Enter the 1%.

Background: second marriage, came to PUA before dating wife #2 then TRP then MRP while dating. Figured I could handle it, figured I knew how to navigate the current, figured I could deal with whatever she threw at me. I figured I know my shit by this point. So I wifed her up anyways. Yeah, I know, I know... fucking idiot. Yes I've read the sidebar, I lift, been in the gym 5 days of he last seven, black belt, biceps, yadda yadda.

She's always had an "issue" with me having been married before and hates, I mean hates, the ex-wife. Drunk wife starts in "you still love her", ... "you treat her better than me", ... "you love your kids more than me",... "make her change her email address since it still has your last name"... fucking crap. That ex was a miserable piece of work and I talk to her only to co-ordinate shit for my kids. Couple of times a month by email and maybe a text or two.

Six months back, drunk wife wants me to set my cell phone alarm for a seminar she wants to go to. We're at a hotel to go to this seminar, and make a day of it, she's just too fucking lazy to set her own alarm (shit test). But wouldn't you know, left my charger at the house and I'm "sorry hun, phone's dying, have to set your own alarm". This turns into a completely out-of-the-blue drunken aggressive "you're a pathetic loser! you set your alarm for your kids! set it for ME dammit". I walked out on her but this stings. This has fucking rankled me every fucking time I open my phone and set the alarm for ANY reason the last half year.

So last two nights she's had a couple drinks and starts in bitching on the ex-wife and starts in on demanding I set my alarm for her in the morning. I tell her "set your own alarm" and of course she goes fucking nuts, and starts in about how I never talked to the ex like that, and a bunch of other shit. I roll over tell her I'm going to sleep but I'm fucking fuming. Fail number 2. (No, make that about fail #150 by this point).

Despite all of this, I decide what the fuck, and take her to dinner. ( Rolling my eyes, I know... honestly, the plan was to talk through some of this shit - beta comfort, feelz, but it never got that far). The night started out just fine. A nice dinner, hanging out, even some on-the-sly groping and more on the way home. But anyways, later tonight, after a few, she starts in on me about why I'm not being loving and affectionate to her earlier today (geezus fucking christ, I wonder). I decide, fuck it, I'm going to lay it out and connect the dots for her. Explain how that shit was disrespectful and contrary to the aims of our marriage. She goes into a bunch of shit about "if you really don't love me, just strangle me right here and end my life". WTF?!?!?!?!

I should mention that last month, she drunkenly threatened suicide with a knife, I got it on video, called the cops. She denied it but I showed the recording and they took her to psych. Which did fucking nothing except I got a pamphlet from the hospital with six pages of phone numbers for battered wives helplines, and as an afterthought, they printed the URL of some men's help website on the last page. FML.

So anyways, she's laying into me tonight after I explained why I was pissed off, 115 pounds and least seven standard drinks in her, about how she never said any of that shit and it's all my fault and why am I getting so aggressive with her?. So I fucking tell her, if I'm so aggressive and you feel so threatened, call 9-1-1. Just call it if you want to end the marriage.

The officers were very professional, and they could both see she was trashed, and she didn't want to press any charges for whatever reason. So instead of cuffing me and leaving me in the cop shop overnight they said they'd let me get a few things from the house and take me to a motel for overnight. The motel isn't that bad. I think the Timmy's coffee place next door is open all night. I could use a strong coffee about now.

In the morning I'll get a cab, pick up the car from home, and get on with my life. At this point I'm not sure if I'm asking for advice, just bitching to get this off my chest, or hoping this is the come-to-jesus moment that will change everything. (Hah! I should be so stupid!)

Anyways, if you don't hear from me again, it's been a slice, I've learned a lot from you mofo's and regulars (though evidently not enough). Peace on. I'm going out for a large double-double.