Female OKCupid user decides she is tired of dating Alpha males and tries dating 'nice' guys. She can't understand why she feels no tingles.

demonon · 2014-09-02T08:25:04+00:00

She WISHES she could feel the tingles for a nice guy - someone who takes care of her, someone who's a bit boring, but also a safe bet for the future. The exact same way I wish I could feel attracted to some ugly but lovable fattie chick who's the chillest person ever, doesn't shit test and has 0 chance of breaking up.

But ATTRACTION IS NOT NEGOTIABLE. We don't choose who we want to fuck. Women love the alpha assholes, and we love the young, prime pussy hot girls, even if they have a shitty attitude.

Asahiii · 2014-09-02T10:57:18+00:00

Funny how when a dude brought up 'alphas' in an r/relationships post about TRP the whole sub lost their shit, and waxed lyrical about how disgusting and unfounded the idea of alphas even is, but when a girl brings up the idea that she's used to dating alphas on r/OKC eveyone totally understands where she's coming from.

Redpiller456 · 2014-09-02T08:07:13+00:00

Everybody is telling her to stick it out, give him a chance, etc. Horrible advice, will only end in tears for both of them (well, mostly him).

lesbianDREAMS · 2014-09-02T10:35:51+00:00

Yeah. I know a girl who would go out on weekends and go home with a different guy, only to never see him again. Then she wouldn't shut up about not being able to find a guy. Every. Single. Time. Topic number 1 for this chick. May be worth noting she was 27 and starting to panic because all her friends were in relationships and she was back at university.

Then she finally finds a guy. Never met him, but saw a picture. Total vanilla looking guy, very average (the girl, for the record, was also very bland, wall fast approaching). But I thought to myself "Shit, they're on equal footing, she's not that good looking either. If this dude is crazy about her, she should go for it before it's too late or before he changes his mind".

I then overhear her talking to her friends about this guy, citing all his qualities, however: "Oh...I dunno, he's just too nice."

There you go folks. You can't be nice, you have to be attractive.

Flaye2 · 2014-09-02T10:39:31+00:00

She's probably dating nice guys because she could no longer pull in those bad boys.

So now she is transitioning from having "ones she can't keep" to "ones she doesn't want."

Xbitz · Tue Sep 2 11:50:08 2014 UTC

Shes getting old, the type of men that used to bang her are going for early 20s girls.

So she has to lower her sights, rationalises it as a "choice"

wakethfkupneo · 2014-09-02T11:46:39+00:00

"Women are completely oblivious to their own natures" - deep truth I've read on some manosphere blogs. Accept that fact and everything makes sense: hamstering, giving horrid advice to men about how to seduce women, AF/BB ... all the way down to cases like this: she really wants to give that clueless guy a chance, she comes on the internet to seek advice, she wants to believe^tm ... but she can't and cannot understand why.

Rainymood_XI · 2014-09-02T12:18:16+00:00

tl;dr no tingles

Watch how she in 30 years will 'settle' for exactly this type of dude because he has a stable (high) income and is respected in his field.

Ugh, disgusting... that they can get away with that, GOD.

riverraider69 · 2014-09-02T09:59:16+00:00

She's actually making an effort here. Maybe she is a genuinely nice person?

My 20s was filled with dating emotionally unavailable "bad boys."

Ah. the wall.

DazPatrick · 2014-09-02T07:17:31+00:00

It's funny, a woman knows she should want a nice guy, but sexually she gets wet for alphas. Like men who would only prefer good prime pussy to a chill girl that doesn't shit-test.

kanaduhisfruityeh · 2014-09-02T08:26:31+00:00

Is this story real? Or is it just fabricated to hit every single cliché?

Seriously. Dating "emotionally unavailable bad boys" in her 20s, then meeting a nerdy nice guy guy she isn't sexually attracted to on a dating website. This stuff sounds like it was taken right out of the playbook of stereotypical female behavior 101.

noworriescc · 2014-09-02T11:25:58+00:00

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BluepillProfessor · 2014-09-02T15:55:02+00:00

She doesn't know that 'butterfly feeling' is called FEAR or at least anxiety. Am I good enough for him? Does he have other girlfriends? Does he like me? These anxieties ramp up the Hamster and increase your SMV in her eyes.

Does he do whatever I say? Is he trying to impress me? These REDUCE the anxiety and act like a stick in the hamster wheel spokes.

TLDR: Sexual attraction depends on angst. Create it or suffer the fate of the niiice guy.

MrOaiki · 2014-09-02T12:43:48+00:00

Just because someone is nice, doesn't mean you fall in love with the person. You people simplify situations like this, by saying she is wrong because she doesn't fall for a guy just because he is nice. And her questioning and rationalizing around this behavior, is met by comments like "short circuit in the brain".

Do you men fall for a woman just because she is "not a butch"? Is fulfilling certain static criteria enough for you to fall in love with women? In that case life must be hard, falling in love with every second woman serving you or saying hi in the elevator.

imathrowit · 2014-09-02T06:52:49+00:00

so is this a behavior thing or a looks thing ?

Riusakii · 2014-09-02T13:25:17+00:00

Just read a few of the comments in the post and almost everyone is asking her to settle for mediocrity instead of going for what she really wants.

Bad advice all around. If she truly feels no tingle she needs to let him go. If she chooses to stay it will only be a matter of time before she strays towards an alpha and cheats on the beta.

Today's lesson:

Never settle.

big_girls_blouse · 2014-09-02T11:22:08+00:00

If I could up vote this a hundred times I would... Worst sex ever.

scarygood536 · 2014-09-02T16:44:12+00:00

My Okc girl tingles all the time. I'm a nice guy, but I tell her what I want and what I'm going to do to her. She loves it and tells me she loves it. She begs for me. She always wants to jump my bones. She sits there and complains about her bestfriend trying to get with her. According to her is really nice but is a "ken doll" to her. He has no penis. She spends her days thinking about me not all the other dudes she's annoyed with. Why? She's looking for a relationship and she knows I just want to use her. She is so crazy about me. Girl don't want a asshole but they don't want a push over. They want a man that knows what he wants and goes and gets it. Assertive, confident, and sticks to the beat of his own drum. To me that's what being alpha is about, not good guy or bad guy. Although, you can't be afraid to say it like it is even it means hurting a feeling

Dark-Ulfberht · 2014-09-02T18:41:59+00:00

You know what I thought the whole time here: God help that poor fuck she's "dating."

All these people are telling her to deign to allow him to "prove himself" to her. I hope he bangs and bolts.

I have such a different background than people on this sub. I always assumed that, after 20-21 or so, virtually all men knew the deal. I assumed they were all just out to get theirs, and did it to varying degrees of success.

So, I must admit, when TRP came about, I dismissed it as being a somewhat more bitter version of pick-up artistry. It did not really occur to me that vast swathes of the male populace didn't have the whole farce figured out, even if they couldn't say so in polite company.

It might have had to do with the fact that I spent all my 20s in the military. One learns very rapidly, upon seeing a guy come home from a deployment to a cheating spouse who has filed for divorce, maxxed credit cards in his name, and has filed restraining orders against him. It really sucks to be a commander and having to enforce orders requiring him to live in the barracks and yield the vast majority of his paycheck even as she spends it on her boyfriend. (But you know, we fucking warned his stupid ass not to marry a stripper.)

This shit is so common in the military that virtually all guys see the farce for what it is after a couple years in.

But, transitioning out of the military, I found that people weren't just playing along with the farce, but actually believed it! Seeing things in this light made me realize that perhaps TRP was necessary for huge swathes of millenial hipsters who seem to think that they will gain acceptance through self-effacement.

incraved · 2014-09-02T12:17:09+00:00

Honestly if I were her I wouldn't date him either.

There is a difference between being shy and being a complete fucking pussy.

This is not "alpha" vs. "nice guy", this is a complete loser in social life which tells you something about him.

Overkillengine · 2014-09-02T14:18:11+00:00

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Johnny10toes · 2014-09-02T14:25:48+00:00

I fucked a fat chick once. Didn't really do it for me. I didn't even get off while we were doing it.

2014-09-02T15:02:28+00:00

This rings true for my relationship with my wife. "Why is she not putting out or at least being effectionate?" Duh, I am not making her vagina tingle. Slowly started working in that and voila she changes. Nice vs asshole isn't the discussion. It's the difference between a nice soup and sandwich you could get any day and that one meal you remember forever. A soup and sandwich is nice. Sometimes even great. But mostly nice. Yaaawn. Be interesting and fuckable. Someone worth spending time with

2014-09-02T10:08:32+00:00

I can't remember the last time I treated a woman like a human being. My sex life just gets better and better.

aazav · 2014-09-02T10:58:28+00:00

She (they) like the perception of danger that comes with power.

HalfwySandwch · 2014-09-02T11:54:07+00:00

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2014-09-02T13:16:15+00:00

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zephyrprime · 2014-09-02T14:37:19+00:00

The thing is, this girl is actually more self aware than most girls. She is at the point where she sees the "glitch" in the matrix. These guys are nice and on paper they seem to be logically better than the jerks she was dating before so she "should" like them more but she DOESN'T. She should want to fuck them but she doesn't. That's the issue.

This girl is starting to realize the problem. She's realizing that her sexual desires are counterproductive. She is seeing her own romantic prejudices towards men for the first time. Before, she believed in fairy tales and what the world told her. She used to think that the problem was that the jerks weren't giving her what she wanted. Realizing this stuff about herself is the beginning of the redpill for women.

learningBen · 2014-09-02T15:23:28+00:00

There are so many women who are attracted to an assertive "nice guy," why is it so important for us to change into a dick "alpha" to get with this type of girl? Why don't we focus on the realization that some girls are like this, and avoid them?

redjimdit · 2014-09-02T16:41:41+00:00

God am I glad I am weird enough that I don't have to put up with the average woman. And that my wife isn't one of these dreadful types.

favours_of_the_moon · 2014-09-02T17:14:57+00:00

Most women seem unable to evolve.

A dude can suppress his nature. He can hold back and become passive. We've all seen it. But most women can't do that. They are what they are, despite what they wish they could be, what they think they should be, and even what they think they are.

2014-09-02T18:05:46+00:00

Too bad we can't use the hamster mobius loop to make a perpetual energy source.

2014-09-02T19:05:00+00:00

What is the opposite of "nice"? People will go on about bad boys and assholes, but it's not the badness of these guys that give the tingles, it's the fact they're not handing the power over, they're putting themselves first. Some men are able to do this without being bad, they're just confident.

To some people being confident and not pandering to women's desires is being an asshole, even though it's the ideal way to be for a man.

Be confident, be interesting, be a challenge, be challenging, say no or "I disagree". You're not an asshole.

2014-09-02T20:17:01+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SKs093VA-aY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAHSNhA8cNk

basilwhite · 2014-09-02T20:17:09+00:00

Don't complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer.

14578542799953267663 · 2014-09-03T03:01:58+00:00

its kinda sad that women are such slaves to their instincts.

i would prefer a more challenging lay...

tuesdayed · 2014-09-03T05:43:38+00:00

She didn't say she was tired of dating alpha males, just that this guy she happened to get with on OKC was beta and she typically goes out with alphas.

They've only been on two dates. It's hard to say how things would progress if they were to continue dating.

Maybe the physical attraction wouldn't be there no matter what, or maybe that attraction will come when she knows him better. Instant attraction or sparks with someone doesn't work out well most of the time anyway, unless you're looking for a ONS.

Maybe he'll always be like this, and maybe he'll become more assertive once he's more comfortable with her. He may not ever behave like an alpha, but he could at least have enough confidence and initiative to make her feel wanted and sexy (I think that's at least part of the problem).

Gami_Lon · 2014-09-04T19:59:53+00:00

I have a friend that's going through this right now.

I have a theory on this:

I think that when men date a lot of women, they get better at dating. For instance, I can tell if a man is a player in about five minutes. Players are just SMOOTH. They're comfortable, they're confident, they're relaxed.

But the irony of all this is that they're not available.

So my friend is dealing with this right now. She used to date a player, and he was smooth and he made her feel special, but he was also fucking everything else in town.

And now she's dating a 'regular' guy and she's just not thrilled about it. The other day she was telling me that she needs to "let go of the past." Which basically means that she needs to stop pining over the guy that was fucking everything that walks.

2014-09-02T18:47:48+00:00

I am a guy and I can relate to that.

I love my wife and she's great and all, but she doesn't excites me as much as my lover does. I try to be as excited with her as I am with my lover, but it's just not happening.

We all have an ex-girlfriend that was just very special, especially in the bedroom, we never thought of her as marriage material, but as we look back we can't help but smile and wish we could have another ride on that.

2014-09-02T13:11:42+00:00

It's a candid view in to a woman's mind, unfiltered, just as-is.

And it's in like with what TRP describes, of course not all women are like that, but it's what works and what doesn't in the majority of relationships.

Don't believe one word you red here, go out there and try it for yourself!

Comdvr34 · 2014-09-02T18:38:50+00:00

Hmm: Barack Obama Warren Buffet Steve Jobs Steve Wozniak Ghandi Mark Zukerberg Rosa Parks Bill Gates Hillary Clinton Einstein

Guess what all these people have in common? All introverts. Per wiki when John Scully fired Steve Jobs he left the room crying.

That quiet guy in the corner who hasn't said anything the whole meeting? When he does add input its going to make every alpha males jaw drop and have them running back to fix their design flaws.

While the extroverts were posturing, and competing for attention and glamour and recognition, the introvert was analyzing the real problem without regard to the theater in front of him.

Title	Female OKCupid user decides she is tired of dating Alpha males and tries dating 'nice' guys. She can't understand why she feels no tingles.
Author	RedSpar
Upvotes	346
Comments	219
Date	September 2, 2014 6:12 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/TheRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/2f8jo1/female_okcupid_user_decides_she_is_tired_of/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/TheRedPill/female-okcupid-user-decides-she-is-tired-of-dating.20385 https://theredarchive.com/post/20385

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