Mad at me for taking a shit

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March 23, 2018

We have two bathrooms upstairs, master and the kids. And one bathroom downstairs. I always take a shit in the morning after my coffee. If I'm taking a shit (like I am right this minute) and she needs something in the bathroom she huffs and says "I wish you would use the downstairs bathroom. We use both bathrooms when we get ready."

Now, if I apply the golden rule and I switch roles I don't see myself asking her to shit elsewhere so I expect the same. It's just weird. Shitting is a natural part of life. Yes, it stinks but ok.

That's the golden rule, how would you guys apply the red pill rule?

Tldr: literal shitpost

Post Information
Title Mad at me for taking a shit
Author Iammrp2
Upvotes 8
Comments 59
Date 23 March 2018 12:08 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Original Link
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Red Pill terms found in post:
naturalthe red pill

[–]Reach180Red Beret30 points31 points  (7 children) | Copy

My grandpa taught me to only shit at work.

"Never take a shit off the clock." he said.

[–]resolutions31610 points11 points  (3 children) | Copy

I have heard this advice before and it absolutely kills me every time

[–]Reach180Red Beret11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Why do something for free if someone's willing to pay you for it...

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mods please remove OP's post, this should be a comment in...


... "Own Your Shit" thread!

[–]AquitasVeritas2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Boss makes a dollar i make a dime.. thats why i shit in company time 😂😂

[–]MrTippy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Shit 10 min a day while at work

50 min/week X 50 weeks ish

= 41.67 hours

You just got paid a week's wages for sitting on the John.

That shit adds up. Pun intended.

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret25 points26 points  (15 children) | Copy

A real alpha would upper deck both toilets and leave for 3 days without a word. He'd then go shit in as many ONS's toilets as possible. This is 101 stuff bro.

[–]johneyapocalypse1 point2 points  (14 children) | Copy

A real alpha would upper deck both toilets and leave for 3 days without a word.

This dude's not even real beta yet. He's on real vagina level 9.

I'm surprised he's not posting about his bidet.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (9 children) | Copy

It takes a bit of balls to admit that wife shits on him for shitting. Big pride swallow. I still think it's pathetic, but will give credit for OP being able to admit it.

Now, all we have to do is take those balls, and apply it to everything else

[–]johneyapocalypse5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

All hail OP!

[–]hystericalbonding5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

It's not the first askMRP post with this question.

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

I remember why I don't come here often... More than one guy can't shit without his wife nagging him?

Should contact the /r/marriageisbliss guy, he can make a comic out of this. Hard top top his oven mit birthday handjob comit, but we can try

[–]wekacuck1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good find. I like this sequence:


inb4 that fucking fatfingerbot shows up

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Come on man, he stunk up the bathroom. He Obviously needs some poo-potpouri to help with his masculinity program:

[–]2ndalRed Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

my bidet/washlet is my single favorite possession in life.

[–]wekacuck1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

tfw you really want to go on vacation but know there won't be a bidet and who lives like that

[–]2ndalRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

i bought a travel bidet for this very reason. it's basically a squirt bottle with detachable head but it's better than the alternative of wiping with paper like a goddamn heathen

[–]hystericalbonding0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'm surprised he's not posting about his bidet

I miss pikadildo.

[–]FoxShitNasty835 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Unless you take hours to shit just STFU / take the piss. Just yell "can't a man wank in peace!!" Or "I'm naked stop trying to take a peek you perv." "Why do you want to watch me shit are you a sicko?"

I have my own bathroom so I don't have this trouble. But if I did she can wait or i give her a few minutes warning to get the stuff she needs before to start dropping bombs.

[–]hystericalbonding5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

"Enter at your own risk, honey."

"The king sits upon his throne."

"Who's there?"

"You broke my concentration. Now I have to start again..."

Sing this.

If I'm taking a shit (like I am right this minute)

Phone shits take longer than shits without phones. When I want a phone shit when other people are rushing, I either move their needed items out so they can get them, or use a different toilet.

Share with her your vision for the timing and shared use of the bathroom. The king can lead before sitting on the throne.

My wife and I have backups of a few key items in a spare bathroom, in case of poop emergency.

[–]wekacuck3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Improv dadsong to the tune of Maui's "You're Welcome" from Moana works well, too.

[–]hystericalbonding0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Literally LOL.

I'm stealing this idea.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

“Sitting in the throne”

And Chad doesn’t sit the normal pathetic way.

He sits on it facing the opposite way, that way he can use the water reservoir as a little table to put his coffee and cell phone as he reads his newspaper.

[–]hystericalbonding1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

[–]Rian_StoneMod / Red Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Do you want me to take a shit on your pile of laundry beside the bed? Because this is how you get me to take a shit on your pile of laundry beside the bed.

Or maybe don't come to me with every piece of trash you find on the photocopier

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy


wait for it...

give too many shits.

Flip on a fan though...what the fuck did you eat?

[–]screechhaterRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I you lifted and were attractive, you could shit on the kitchen floor

[–]thatboyjeff5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

We use both bathrooms when we get ready.

Let me guess, is one bathroom "hers"?

Fuck her. Real RP men shit when and where they please. Shes lucky its not in her mouth.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

You married someone who complains when you take a shit because she needs something in the bathroom? Something she should've gotten before you started shitting?

We use both bathrooms when we get ready

Then why didn't she have another set of whatever she needed in the other bathroom?


[–]Reject4442 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Guess there's no need to ask whether this one is a comfort test or a shit test...

[–]WolfofAllStreetz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am currently shitting. Dont think ive laughed so hard at comments in awhile.

[–]MrChad_ThundercockChief Autist in Charge5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Golden rule is for faggots.

“Chad’s Rule” = treat others as they deserve to be treated.

[–]thatboyjeff0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I bet if it were Chad and not her husband this wouldn't be an issue. Moral of the story: be more attractive than your wife, even while taking a shit.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I think i have officially read it all here on MRP.

Fan-fucking-tactic OP.

[–]TurdDoctor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, there's almost nothing that will make your wife's vagina drier that the odor and mental image of you taking a shit. Do you want a blowjob or a game of hide the sausage? She's not going near your dick after brushing her teeth in that shit cloud.

This is not manners, it's sexual strategy. Keep your bodily functions under the radar.

BTW I'm uniquely qualified to respond to this (see username).

[–]thunderbeyond2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You know what stinks worse than your shit?

This post.

Come on dude....

[–]toomanynames19980 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Right? He should shit on her face while she is asleep to show dominance.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't think I have ever said this to anyone but you are a complete dumb ass. You are trying to be a tough guy red pill Rambo and drawing both a false dichotomy and a ridiculous conclusion. You don't shit in the kitchen and you don't shit in the bathroom people use to get ready.

Let me point out that if you already did it- which was a mistake- and got called out- then your attitude is exactly what you would have to take. DNGAF and laugh your ass off about it. Pretty funny when you think about it.

Of course a good Captain would not have made that error and nobody but a bad Captain would do it again. Right?

Or this is a Troll in which case I appreciate a well crafted Troll job especially one that is full of shit.

[–]quentinthequibbler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I shit in the downstairs bathroom. Who fucking cares.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She's mad at you for giving a shit. Once again, it's not complicated (INC).

[–]ArticulateSavage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Do you even lift, bro?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd start taking a shit in the morning with an open tub of stinkbait nearby and laugh at her responses when she came in to get stuff. Srsly. You don't get to tell me where and when to take a shit in my own f-ing house. You deserve to be mocked for even attempting it.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe she has a poop fetish and you are missing the cues?

[–]rebbit_reddit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It’s not the nail

[–]screechhaterRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Such a victim. What a tradgedy.

You lift ?

[–]weakandsensitive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


"Come on in! I'm not stopping you."

[–]thewholefnshow5471 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Shit downstairs, what the hell's your problem. Are you being attractive or unattractive?

Let me venture a wild guess here...Yer wife does not want to smell your disgusting shit when she is trying to brush her teeth. You know that there are like shit particles flying through the air in that bathroom after you drop the bomb right? She is brushing her teeth and those shit particles are landing on her toothbrush and in her mouth. And she gets it ripe, fresh out of your ass. Can you imagine her waiting by the door as you destroy that bathroom? For the privilege of standing in you shit stank? All the while you have a perfectly good unused bathroom downstairs. Oh she is probably looking at you with vengeful eyes as you sip your coffee, thinking about the red hot shit in your chamber. Wondering what foulness she will have to endure to get ready for her day. "did he have Taco Bell last night? Oh fuck!!!" So she starts each day thinking about the giant meat log coming out of your smelly asshole, wondering if she can beat the countdown to detonation. But alas, she cannot beat you to the bowl, as you obviously want her to waft in your shit smell, and she is delayed by you taking an absurd amount of time pushing that massive turd out of your stanky asshole. Day in and day out she has to hurriedly get ready in a chemical warzone. Probably blasting thunderous farts out echoing off the bowl too as an audible single of the nightmare to come. You sir, need to get your shit together.

My father in law is a passive aggressive shit asshole like you, and his own daughter and I think it is truly vile. He is absolutely disgusting.

[–]Senor_Martillo1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree. If the downstairs bathroom is available, just use it. I wouldn't want to brush my teeth in someone's ass-miasma either.

Contrary to some of the opinions put forth herein, I don't think basic courtesy is a beta trait. Also, throw in a mercy flush as soon as you drop anchor. Cuts the smell down a ton, for your benefit as much as anyone else's!

[–]2ndalRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You should care so little that it doesn't even register. Instead it registered so hard you had to write to a bunch of internet strangers and ask how to handle. C'mon man.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy



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