Q4Men: How quickly would you be able to have sex with someone new?

NockerJoe · 2019-08-05T22:31:06+00:00

As in, I have absolutely nobody in my life and need to go from scratch? A lot of that is luck of the draw.

As in I can pull three numbers a day and have them all be excited at one point, then a week later strike out no matter how hard I try. But even of those three numbers I'd expect at least two of them to just ghost within a week. It's called "getting lucky" for a reason since it really is a numbers game and you don't get to control 90% of those variables. Most of my actual successes come down to some weird non repeatable circumstance where I was both in the right place at the right time and didn't fuck it up.

I'm gonna discount OLD as a matter of course simply because even if you get regular matches those girls are so likely to ghost or blow you off unless you're an absolute top dude there's no point in even trying. I think of the last 50 matches I had that turned to conversations none of them resulted in an actual physical meetup or date.

I could fall into something when I leave for the gym in an hour. I could spend the next year shooting blanks.

Blonsomio · 2019-08-05T22:30:13+00:00

About 15 minutes. I don't wanna say how.

trueorfalsedmitry · 2019-08-06T00:14:18+00:00

Realistically if I'm, "looking to have sex with someone new?" A few months. Probably closer to 6 months than 3 months.

If I was willing to lie about wanting an LTR, it would take me a week to 10 days.

[deleted] · 2019-08-05T22:31:59+00:00

anything from a week or so to 3 months or so.

You have to explain what is the resources they are willing to give to this endeavor. There is a enormous difference between who focus all possible resources to sex hunting to a person who has little to no room to spare.

I would use all means necessary, tinder, relationship sites, friends, colleagues, etc. There is no much options to a 6/10 so he should use all opportunities possible.

I have really limited spare resources as a working adult, so, I would invest around 10H of work per week and 10% of my salary, plus a good part of my spare energy and other smaller resources.

I am just more successful because I have many of my past invested resources as bases to improve my chances. the women I am having sex now are the same ones I met when I invested a huge amount of resources before. I.e. My sex life comes mostly from FwB.

_Neon_Shadow_ · 2019-08-05T23:03:46+00:00

Idk a month or two? But only because I'm lowkey ugly.

TheJim66 · 2019-08-05T22:21:08+00:00

I'm pretty sure I could get a 6 within a week or two.Either go to some club and hit on some randos or day game .If I get lucky a friend of mine might introduce me to some single chick ,that I am pretty positive I would be able to bed.

Getting a 7+ would probably take longer

qantuum · 2019-08-06T08:16:21+00:00

it is ridiculously drawn to luck. sometimes I'd wait 1 year because of being busy in studies or whatsoever, sometimes it would just take 1 evening just having a spark with someone in unexpected ways, such as board games party.

87AudreyHorne · 2019-08-06T09:46:51+00:00

Realistically probably month/s, but oral whenever the inspiration hits. If I felt like I want to have sex right away I would but then I'd probably never want to see the guy again. I also know myself and I bluebell, no matter how hot things get usually dont have sex. It's not a moral issue or strategy though it's just doing what I want.

[deleted] · 2019-08-06T12:15:03+00:00

Well considering I’ve never been able to have casual sex, I guess never.

pnadlerlaw · 2019-08-06T12:34:54+00:00

Well, first of all, I’m against “waiting” to have sex, but at the same time, I’m against “casual sex,” “FWB” or a ONS. It’s my childhood trauma. I wish I could be comfortable with those things, but I personally can’t.

But assuming I was:

A 6/10?

Umm, basically go to Spiros, Ludlow Street, Astoria or Woodside, and a 6/10 would be more than happy to go back home the same night.

So, from spotting to having fun:

gym (2hrs)
getting ready to go out (2hrs)
driving (30mins)
settling into bar/club/lounge (15mins)
working the venue/socializing (30mins)
reading your targets (15mins)
approaching 2-3 candidates (5mins)
assume 2 bad sets (1hr)
working your good set (1hr)
exiting venue (5mins)
driving (30mins)
Swiss intro (20mins)
action

So, total time invested/taken, about 8.5 hours, worst case scenario if you’re looking for practically guaranteed overkill.

A 7/10 or 8/10?

gym (2hrs)
getting ready to go out (2hrs)
driving (30mins)
settling into bar/club/lounge (15mins)
working the venue/socializing (45mins)
reading your targets (20mins)
approaching 4-5 candidates (10mins)
assume 4 bad sets (2hr)
working your good set (1hr)
exiting venue (5mins)
driving (30mins)
Swiss intro (20mins)
action

So, total time invested/taken, about 10 hours, worst case scenario if you’re looking for practically guaranteed overkill. The thing with 7s and 8s is that a lot of them think they’re 9s and 10s. So, you have to filter for things like that right off the bat, otherwise you’re wasting time. The reverse is also true. Some of them think they’re 6s, and just looking for attention and validation. So, likewise, you have to STOP LOSS and exit before you waste more time.

There is no real difference between 6s, 7s and 8s, apart from requiring less Cialis to stay hard. Hopefully you filter for ego for the 7s and 8s. Worst ego among all women. These are the actual Staceys (the hardcore wannabe Staceys who also simultaneously hate 9s & 10s for supposedly being hardcore Staceys possessing the most negative traits).

The only difference is an “inefficiency premium” because of slightly better looks, which simply means you’ll have to work more sets. Also, the less effective you are at reading people, the more time you will waste. Lastly, the less disciplined you are about your STOP LOSS rules, the more time you’ll waste. If fucking for sport is your thing, then at least be methodical about it.

A 9/10 or 10/10?

First of all, you have to find them. Genuine 9s & 10s are not just walking around everywhere. So, finding one is the biggest hurdle. In a club of 300 people, 200 being men and 100 being women, there is only one (1) 10 and maybe two (2) 9s. Everyone else is an 8 and below. So, let’s not BS ourselves and acknowledge that the “abundance mentality” aside, they’re not exactly as common as finding $100 bills on the street.

So, “assuming” you’ve already found one, from that point on:

reading your target (3mins)
approaching (3mins)
shit test threshold (30mins)
playing open hand (1hr)
get number and leave (5mins)
small text same night (1min)
small text next morning (1min)
call her to set up date (15mins)

No e-dating via mobile.

first date (8 hours)
courtesy texting same night (15mins)
courtesy texting next morning (5mins)
call her to set up second date (20mins)

Don’t open the door for e-dating via mobile. Keep it closed.

second date (6 hours) (usually moving on to sexual contact at this point; if it did, personally, girlfriend privileges, all access mode enabled; reciprocate and reward; acknowledge the leap of faith on her part and don’t “play it cool” and take it for granted)

If not, then:

courtesy texting same night (10mins)
courtesy texting next morning (5mins)
call her to set up third date (20mins)
third date (4 hours) (this is the third strike. Strict STOP LOSS discipline. Unlikely to happen on date 3 if it hasn’t already happened on date 1 or 2. Goal is not sex. Goal is to find reasons/excuses to stop talking to her and tell her that you just don’t think you two are compatible, which is 100% true if you think about it. Also, use the time to observe her speech and thinking patterns so you know to filter those out next time with a 9 or 10 and avoid wasting your time in the future).

In the unlikely event something happens, assess WHY. If it’s because of fear, guilt, a sense of obligation, or worse, her thinking that sex will get you to be in a relationship with her, that’s not good sex, obviously. It also means she’s not really STRONGLY attracted to you. So, you have to politely decline that sex to avoid being the pump and dump douche. Otherwise, you now have to deal with avoiding being trapped in a relationship you KNOW is not going to work out (because she’s now trapped you with feeling like a pump and dump douche on the back end).

In the more likely event something doesn’t happen:

courtesy text same night (15mins) (still be a gentleman, be warm, be kind, be sensitive. Don’t be a child. You have zero reason to be “angry” or “upset” with her for “wasting 3 days of your time. I had a prospective client that wasted 9 days of my time without leading to a single dollar of revenue, and I still wasn’t upset. Relax and get on with life, but don’t be rude or inconsiderate to people.)
courtesy text next morning (15mins) (again, concierge treatment. Be polite, courteous and professional. At the same time, you’re creating emotional distance and getting her to unconsciously feel that you’re emotionally distant and unavailable to set up the weening.)
call her (don’t be a pussy) and ween her off (30mins).

So, that’s practically 72 hours of time (including prep. and scouting). So, let’s say, worst case, you have to approach (5) 10s and (4) of them are not STRONGLY attracted to you, you’ve just wasted 288 hours. Congratulations, you just litigated a typical medical malpractice case from start to finish, pro bono and out of pocket. So, that set you back about ten (10) weeks of your life (assuming you have 6hrs Fridays and 10hrs per weekend day to devote to this).

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Tyler_Gatsby · 2019-08-05T23:42:11+00:00

Anywhere from a day to a month, but like has been said, probably not that long if all we're going for is, "doesn't matter, had sex."

You didn't give us any rules, so we could cheat and lie to women (wouldn't really do that) or I could probably do somebody way too young for me like still a teenager and go above a 6.

At this point I'd rather have a 4.5 - 7 I can really get along with for a relationship though.

katymarx · 2019-08-06T00:11:19+00:00

LOL oops, totally missed the Q4men haha

JasonPegasi · 2019-08-06T00:32:57+00:00

I'd say 2 days to a week, maybe faster in certain situations. It's not something I've ever done, but I'm confident I could if I wanted to.

CosmicBioHazard · 2019-08-06T01:01:44+00:00

If I wanted to and concentrated my resources into it?

I’ll go based off the “average quickest” I’ve been offered (but declined), let’s pretend I’ve got intimate knowledge of what exactly it was I did to receive the offer and I’m replicating it perfectly.

I’d need about two weeks from the time I meet and exchange contact details with this person. Meeting is the hard part.

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wtknight · 2019-08-06T01:27:01+00:00

I have no idea. If I'm really attracted to her, I'm not going to want to have sex with her right away and am going to try to pursue a relationship first. I can't even imagine how quickly it would be if I were willing to use every tactic described by pick-up artists and Red Pillers to attempt to have sex as quickly as possible with attractive women.

[deleted] · 2019-08-06T01:35:57+00:00

It wouldnt take all that long. 1 month, maybe 1-2 weeks if i was really tryharding. The "first instance of sex" benchmark wouldnt matter that much to me. Getting a harem has a cumulative, geometric kind of math to it. If you just put the hours to get numbers and dates, and keep going day after day, and have even a 1% fuck conversion rate, eventually you'll have a harem. The first month, or even few months, may be dry but eventually you'll have more pussy you can handle so long as you don't let them know about each other.

Honestly, i would be more excited about taking a breather from women and focusing on writing my memoirs, playing vidya, meditating, etc.

wekacuck · 2019-08-06T02:08:15+00:00

I have no idea, but probably a very long time. I have never dated outside school and that was back when few people even had cell phones and have never used OLD or anything and I used to be a teetotaler and never got into the bars. So... I'd have a lot of learning and exploring and catching up with everyone to do. Not sure where all of that would rank in my priorities, there is a long list of things I want to do that being a family man has put on the back burner for now. There isn't a lot of usable time between work and kids for much really. But co-parenting would maybe give me the odd weekend to go on adventures.

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-08-06T02:20:22+00:00

Someone new as in a stranger? There’s a ton of luck to that, really. I’ve struck out hard some nights while others it’s like I struck gold. I’d give it few weekends, maybe less.

diffdedbed · 2019-08-06T02:22:29+00:00

Less than 10 minutes is probably my record but its not like I counted.

katymarx · 2019-08-06T02:24:52+00:00

Nah I gotcha booooo.....

reluctantly_red · 2019-08-06T03:21:17+00:00

A lot depends on the opportunities available. Sometimes you have a dry spell. Sometimes the stars align. I've gone almost six months between GFs twice. At the other end of the spectrum I managed to be with three different women on three consecutive nights one particularly good week back in 1984.

PM_ME_UR_1ITIS_SNAP · 2019-08-06T04:00:56+00:00

Nineteen years.

In all seriousness, I live in a small town and I've heard girls call me "hot but weird" a few times. I didn't have a reputation in high school as the kind of dude that's confident and extroverted enough to have casual sex though. It would take me three months probably because I don't have the time to go out, and my game consists solely of hitting up girls I used to know through their snaps. All I can do rn at home.

When I'm in college, however, there are a ton of women my age around that are willing to drink with me. Starting from scratch, I could probably meet a group of girls to drink with on a Monday, and fuck one of them on a Friday.

Demographics and previous reputation are huge factors, and alcohol is a hell of a drug.

[deleted] · 2019-08-06T04:58:54+00:00

Depends on my luck in my local area (rural texas) but this year I've had everything from two days after we started talking to a few weeks, my last new gf it took 3 months cause we lived in different cities and it took that long to see each other. Varies by circumstance and who I'm talking to.

decoy88 · 2019-08-06T05:59:39+00:00

A week-ish just using dating apps. Assuming I have my own place.

blackedoutfast · 2019-08-06T06:57:05+00:00

just a basic 6/10? idk probably a few hours if i really wanted to.

Gravel_Roads · 2019-08-06T07:23:27+00:00

I have an active social live and all of my friends are chill sex-positive hippies so realistically I could hook up with someone within 8-24 hours depending on who's free, awake, nearby and down to clown.

How would I go about it? Like, right now? Idk, I'm at work atm (night shift) so from here I'd probably text a buddy of mine that lives pretty close to my place of work, and ask if they were free for me to come over for coffee when I get off. We'd probably get stoned on the backporch overlooking their garden, weed the tomato boxes in the back yard, catch up on each other's lives then make out on the couch until it progressed to the bedroom.

If I was in a new city and didn't know anybody, I'd probably need a week or two to network and familiarize myself with the area - I usually find fun people in the local "queer housing" sections of facebook (there's one for most cities). I live on the coast so there's even "queer swim" days on some of the beaches, so maybe grab a frisbee and a grill, beer, a blanket and head on down to the ocean to rub elbows and share some laughs and see who wants to bring me home. I'm a bundle of laughs. I've traveled all over the country for fun and have integrated into a lot of different cities, so it's pretty standard stuff for me.

Thehebben · 2019-08-06T10:02:41+00:00

If you can go to sea maybe 2 days because i am White if i can only be northern europe the hardest place to get laid as a guy maybe 1 year if i ask out many many womem

renfsu · 2019-08-06T14:59:19+00:00

Usually it's by the second date. Sometimes that's a week after initially talking, other times it's the third day

Pastelitomaracucho · 2019-08-07T09:38:56+00:00

Probably a week or two of dating. I'm not really into getting laid quickly.

uniqueeleni · 2019-08-09T07:41:52+00:00

As a woman, I guess a few minutes on a dating app would be sufficient.

WestsideMoonWalker · 2019-08-05T22:33:02+00:00

If it was just about sex? No more than 2-3 days. I can't imagine it would take that much effort. People generally seem to view me as attractive overall, if a bit niche given my build and features.

That said, I have zero interest in casual sex, so take that for what you will. I find the pursuit of it boring and need to take time to build a connection to enjoy sex.

XtoDoubt · 2019-08-06T03:24:22+00:00

The main thing I've learned going through the post responses is that men (particularly men who don't try and get laid) greatly overestimate their ability to do it.

When I was dedicating significant time and energy to it I pulled an average of one per month. Some months much better and some dry spells. But I'd say if you gave me a month I could pull it off.

[deleted] · 2019-08-09T03:21:27+00:00

Just make an adult friend finder account. I got women asking me for sex.

Title	Q4Men: How quickly would you be able to have sex with someone new?
Author	lmSoBored
Upvotes	5
Comments	80
Date	August 5, 2019 9:57 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/cmhnm4/q4men_how_quickly_would_you_be_able_to_have_sex/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4men-how-quickly-would-you-be-able-to-have-sex.254570 https://theredarchive.com/post/254570

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