The reason pick me girls fail is because men love women who challenge them not ones who just roll over and do whatever he wants.

Littleknownfacts · 2019-05-30T18:32:34+00:00

Reminder to please not downvote.

SmurfESmurferson · 2019-05-30T15:01:25+00:00

I feel like the “cool girl” quote from Gone Girl is appropriate here:

Men always say that as the defining compliment, don't they? She's a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she's hosting the world's biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don't mind, I'm the Cool Girl.

Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they're fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl. For a long time Cool Girl offended me. I used to see men — friends, coworkers, strangers — giddy over these awful pretender women, and I'd want to sit these men down and calmly say: You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who'd like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them. I'd want to grab the poor guy by his lapels or messenger bag and say: The bitch doesn't really love chili dogs that much — no one loves chili dogs that much! And the Cool Girls are even more pathetic: They're not even pretending to be the woman they want to be, they're pretending to be the woman a man wants them to be. Oh, and if you're not a Cool Girl, I beg you not to believe that your man doesn't want the Cool Girl. It may be a slightly different version — maybe he's a vegetarian, so Cool Girl loves seitan and is great with dogs; or maybe he's a hipster artist, so Cool Girl is a tattooed, bespectacled nerd who loves comics. There are variations to the window dressing, but believe me, he wants Cool Girl, who is basically the girl who likes every fucking thing he likes and doesn't ever complain.

You’re talking about an act. No woman actually behaves like that

ScootsScoots · 2019-05-30T16:15:10+00:00

You mean ugly girls.

We like attractive women who are more attractive than they are annoying. That's it. It's that simple.

The "pick me" girls are usually just fugly.

azngirl7689 · 2019-05-30T14:49:24+00:00

Why does this have to be a black and white issue? Why is it only completely submissive doormats vs a game-playing asshole?

If want a girl who has enough agency to think the world wont end if we split, and also wont disrespect me to think they can manipulate me into liking them more with snakey bullshit.

crackrocksteady7 · 2019-05-30T13:48:30+00:00

No, we want ones that roll over and do whatever we want. Lol. They're all taken early, by the late 20s, 30s your options are challenging ones and jerking off

Because despite what they say men don’t like this, they want that woman who pushes back, who isn’t instantly accommodating, who has a damn life and isn’t constantly available.

Projection much?

azngirl7689 · 2019-05-30T18:08:28+00:00

Let’s talk about nice girls. The girls who bend over backwards sans reciprocation, the girls who are so chill, the ones who INSIST on picking up half the bill because they’re so in touch with male issues, the girls who insist they’re too cool for commitment because “they just want to see where it goes”.

You didn't need to do any of that, nor did anyone ask you to. Look at the few unanimously agreed on wishlist items that men at this sub, and everywhere else anonymity allows for brutal honesty:

Don't be fat.

Fuck him as often and as enthusiastically as possible.

THAT'S ALL YOU EVER HAD TO DO. Being a cool girl, being a doormat, being "super male friendly" (whatever the fuck that means) do no matter. Being the opposite of that won't matter either if you don't do 1 and 2 on the list. If you DID do 1 and 2 on the list, and got dumped anyway, then you simply chose wrong... either punching above your weight, SMV wise, or choosing a guy who is in the pump and dump phase of his life arc. Or one who is just a dumbass.

[deleted] · 2019-05-30T15:21:29+00:00

Because despite what they say men don’t like this, they want that woman who pushes back, who isn’t instantly accommodating, who has a damn life and isn’t constantly available. They like even a little flirty manipulation. Pretend to forget their name? They love that. Take a while to get back to them? They’ll be your lapdog. They will admit this but it’s true. They want a woman who will challenge them. This is why pick me girls lose to other women all the time.

The guy has to really really like you for this to work. If he has a low level interest this strategy will fail.

Barely-moral · 2019-05-30T15:04:43+00:00

I reject the idea that pick me girls are failing on the first place. But lets leave that for later.

they want that woman who pushes back

No... life pushes back enough. Why on earth would I want even more of that shit?

who isn’t instantly accommodating

Instantly accommodating is an unrealistic standard to hold, accommodating is a bare minimum.

who has a damn life and isn’t constantly available

She has to be available enough. In this case I can recognize that I need more time than the average male but still.

They like even a little flirty manipulation.

Why would I like any kind of manipulation. Men like flirty situations because those make men feel desired. They will accept flirty manipulation if that is the only flirty situation they can get. But it is the worse of them all.

Pretend to forget their name? They love that.

Fuck that. That would make me want to punch any woman in the throat. I hate that shit.

Take a while to get back to them? They’ll be your lapdog.

Another shit that I deeply hate. I don't bother anyone with stupid shit. The only reason I would contact someone without a previous appointment is because I need an immediate answer.

They want a woman who will challenge them.

Again. Life is challenging enough. I don't need more of that shit.

You are wrong in pretty much every single point.

If there is a reason why "pick me s" fail is because they are acting like they are not interested in commitment. Men that want to commit are looking for women that want to commit. Duh.

diffdedbed · 2019-05-30T13:49:02+00:00

I believe in the "fuck yes' principle. If I'm trying to get a womans interest, I want her to be enthusiastically interested in me.

I don't expect her to roll over the first date, but if she plays "Whats your name again?" in a serious manner, thats going to kill my interest very quickly.

I realize I can't speak for all men, but for me, being up front and accommodating does in fact turn me on.

[deleted] · 2019-05-30T16:30:56+00:00

I agree with that. Woman who play too easy usually can not get commitment. But also women who play too hard to get, except if they are 8+.A middle way should be fine.

ratiuncula_abiecta · 2019-05-30T19:15:22+00:00

Can we tag this as “Female Solipsism”?

Good lord, attracting men is fucking simple. We care about how physically attractive you are first and how pleasant you are second, and it’s a sliding scale where we’re willing to trade a certain amount of pleasantness in exchange for increased hotness. But make no mistake, pleasantness is a plus. It’s just not as high of a priority as hotness, and so there’s some potential for tradeoffs.

It’s not at all like women, where they actually dock men points for being pleasant human beings and actively seek out dudes who treat them like dicks. That’s fucking retarded.

To summarize, men may be stupid, but their priorities in mate selection have a certain logic to them and don’t actively promote the decline of society. Women’s priorities in mate selection are fucking stupid and actively encourage sociopathy, not to mention setting women up for inevitable heartbreak.

ETA: All I can conclude from OP’s story is that she’s not as hot and / or not as “nice” as she thinks.

TheJim66 · 2019-05-30T22:30:04+00:00

How is it so difficult to understand men?

RULE 1 THE MOST IMPORTANT RULE:Be hot.

Rule 2 Be nice

Rule 3 be loyal

Rule 4 Don't fuck too many other dudes

Rule 5 Let him fuck you how he wants to

What is so hard to understand?if the pickmeup girl was hot she would pretty much be a unicorn.We don't like the challenge for challenge's sake.

passepar2t · 2019-05-30T15:09:39+00:00

Look, I know your relationship failed and that you want to be convinced that being a stone-hearted hardass is the way to get the boys but that's simply not true. How many times has a man been your lapdog when you failed to respond to him? And if that number is more than zero, how many of those guys were not gross omegas?

I know you hate your ex and I know he burned you but you're acting like a bitter poster on /r/mgtow. Calm down and find some middle ground, for god's sake.

NeedingAdvice86 · 2019-05-30T14:05:46+00:00

Oh look another PPD post about taking a female dating characteristic then transposing the male and female components.....as if people are really going to believe PPD overrules reality on the streets.

Nope.....

Littleknownfacts · 2019-05-30T14:16:49+00:00

I haven't exactly seen pick me girls loosing. I see them doing very well I'm their love lives in fact.

Sir_Koopaman · 2019-05-30T15:44:13+00:00

Why the hell would guys want to make things more difficult for themselves

pngmafia97 · 2019-05-30T15:34:58+00:00

the girls who are so chill, the ones who INSIST on picking up half the bill because they’re so in touch with male issues, the girls who insist they’re too cool for commitment because “they just want to see where it goes”.

woman who pushes back, who isn’t instantly accommodating, who has a damn life and isn’t constantly available. They like even a little flirty manipulation. Pretend to forget their name? They love that. Take a while to get back to them? They’ll be your lapdog.

These aren't at all mutually exclusive. It's funny that you associate avoiding commitment with "nice girl" strategy, because I avoid commitment for the exact opposite reason. I insist on picking up half the bill and delay commitment as long as possible as a cornerstone of my push-back strategy. I do such things to signal that I'm not so easily "captured." In fact, the reason I push off commitment is precisely because I'm not available enough to commit. I find the right balance of flirtation - being engaged, enthusiastic, and ego-stroking - and aloofness - intentionally not easily acquiescing to traditional romantic advances, having an interesting life independent of them, being so "chill" they wonder if you're so jaded to men wanting you they way they do - is absolutely irresistible.

wtffellification · 2019-05-30T19:29:12+00:00

most men arent into fucking sleepy beauty style. or starfish. or necrophilia. in this sense yes ofcourse most want a challenge (ie a livig being with their own thoughts feelings and impulses)

there can be a thin line between being a narcissistic son of a bitch, a parasite on the soul, a mere obstacle to a fellow human being, an error in existence itself... and being a ‘challenge’

i much, much prefer a girl who will do more things i want, than things i do not want. free agency aside..

ThisIsJustATr1bute · 2019-05-30T20:01:47+00:00

I think some chadly guys like this to a small degree because it’s not boring and they aren’t threatened. But it’s a certain type of guy, guys who are overwhelmed by femaleness and just want a pet they can try to tame and get under control won’t like it.

civilizedfrog · 2019-05-31T03:54:09+00:00

Men want women who knows to keep him happy and cheer him up during the rough times.

Also, contrary to what people say, it is actually the women who enjoy to chase more. There is a reason why redpillers say that you are the prize and let the women chase.

throwinout · 2019-05-31T05:41:07+00:00

This is why pick me girls lose to other women all the time.

This is definitely untrue, especially if your definition of "winning" is getting wifed up by a desirable man. They go for the agreeable nice women, not the difficult bitches. Almost all of the agreeable nice women are snatched up by their mid-20s, and usually all that is left are the difficult bitches after that.

Agreeable nice women win the game, they only "lose" to other women if they try to compete on slutting around. An agreeable nice woman who is also a slut is the only kind of agreeable nice woman who is more likely to lose than win.

geyges · 2019-05-30T14:00:56+00:00

Pretend to forget their name? They love that.

literally nobody loves that.

Take a while to get back to them? They’ll be your lapdog.

No they won't. It's just annoying, especially if something is time-sensitive.

They want a woman who will challenge them.

You really have a weird definition of what that means. I want a girl to challenge me on intellectual level, not pull a ladder from under me for shits and giggles.

Aaren_Augustine · 2019-05-30T14:28:15+00:00

I want a woman that's on my team first and is a challenge from there. Not a challenge first and foremost. Those girls are a pain in the ass and not worth the effort; ever.

Your perspective is a little off. Strong women know how to be vulnerable. I think you see vulnerable and think she's a weak nice girl. Its the exact opposite.

Can you see what you are describing is a chick that acts like a dude? You don't want some man child that you have to take care of right? Men don't want to LTR or wife up a dude chick that thinks being a man is how you get a man. Women like this get played because they don't know men or what they want past pussy.

They like even a little flirty manipulation.

Jesus Christ, can you drop the victim mindset? This is just men who like to play; flirting and sex being a part of that play.

Take a while to get back to them? They’ll be your lapdog.

Hahaha. Only man children looking for mommy to solve their problems for them.

They want a woman who will challenge them.

There are weak beta man-children that want weak non-vulnerable mommy women to complete them. Two fundamentally flawed humans that look to others to fix what they should be fixing themselves.

[deleted] · 2019-05-30T16:40:05+00:00

I think you’re oversimplifying this and falling into the same trap as a lot of men do but from the other side. You know how a lot of blue pill guys will act like the stereotypical “nice guy”, complain about not getting laid, turn into some “PUA” asshole and STILL not get laid? This is that. The pick me girl doesn’t get picked because she’s a doormat and because she reeks of thinly veiled desperation, the same way a “nice guy” does. But going too far the other way and intentionally ignoring his texts or forgetting his name is just being a bitch and is the equivalent of an overly neggy wannabe PUA. All of these people lose the dating game because they’re all trying too hard.

Attraction (especially for a woman attracting a man) is enthusiasm and effortlessness. It’s all about balance. Be enthusiastic and enjoy his company and advances, but be secure enough in yourself that if he disappears or flips those advances to another girl you’re still holding your head high and doing you. Don’t drop plans in your own life to accommodate him but if you’re free and he asks you out, say yes. He wants to feel like you want him in your life. He doesn’t want to feel like you need him in your life when he’s just starting to pursue you.

ohheyhi99 · 2019-05-30T15:27:28+00:00

In general, I think most people, male or female, don’t actually like games much. Almost everyone likes winning a game, but only so many people actually enjoy playing a game itself even if they feel like they’re losing. Most people put up with games if they find the gamer otherwise attractive. But people see men and women putting up with games and assume that it’s because “men like the chase” or “women like assholes.”

The women you refer to as “pick me girls” will do fine as long as the guy has the same intentions and finds her otherwise attractive enough. Nice guys, and even some Nice Guys^TM, will also do fine as long as the woman has the same intentions and finds him otherwise attractive enough.

sadomasochrist · 2019-05-30T15:31:05+00:00

"Pick me" girls is female jealousy in the same way men try to downplay the role that anti-social attractive men play in the SMP. The term men use here is "dirtbag."

I mean you can pretend that men don't want this, but it doesn't make it true.

Some men are like this yes, but most men are looking for the path to least resistance.

If what you were saying was true, sluts couldn't\wouldn't exist.

That being said, there's a difference between "pick me" and desperation.

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Barneysparky · 2019-05-30T22:26:59+00:00

If a man needs someone to validate him, he will look for someone to validate him.

If a man is curious, he will look for someone who has the potential to open new doors.

In the replies you are seeing a cross section of men who need degree of validation.

grand_tiremaster · 2019-05-31T01:26:49+00:00

I have been called a "pick me ass bitch", for being a conservative and being anti-feminist. Never for being a decent human being (being nice). I am also not a pushover or 100% submissive.

When I was younger I was very stubborn and guess what? I chased guys away with my cynical, stubborn, hardened exterior. Sure I was a challenge.. that no one wanted to waste time overcoming. I have always been very pretty and thin, so my looks weren't an issue. I was just a bitch. I worked on myself and became nicer, more warm, empathetic, friendly, and feminine. The way men treat me now is so much different than how men treated me when I was horrible.

PuleaSpataru69 · 2019-05-31T06:33:50+00:00

Please describe what you mean by flirty manipulation.

Bntt89 · 2019-05-31T16:50:16+00:00

So all you've described is a yes women who is chill and knows MRA issues, where are these girls? I've yet to see them anywhere? Are you just talking about easy girls? If so I believe that it's true they aren't that great but it seems like alot of general statements with no real clarification of what nice girls are. I also have no clue what paying half the bill has anything to do with playing hard to get.

MaxwellPancakesMcgee · 2019-06-01T01:30:57+00:00

I think certain men like certain things in women. I'm extremely low SMV (crippled, deformed leh, severe cystic acne on face, neck and chest for 8 years), yet I've maintained a healthy LTR for nearly 8 years. I'm difficult, challenging and extremely laissez-faire with my partner who is way above me in looks, and very masculine. He likes a challenge though, he's an ESTJ enneagram 8, for those into MBTI and enneagram, we help each other grow, which is our prime directive in a way as a couple; grow, conquer, enjoy it.

[deleted] · 2019-06-01T02:11:44+00:00

Are you asking men or women?

If you are asking men, why? The fisherwoman does not ask the fish how to catch them.

Field test both and see what works for you.

"PONO – Effectiveness is the measure of truth"

dicklord_airplane · 2019-06-03T13:35:24+00:00

I feel sorry for women who fall into this thinking. While you're focusing about playing hard to get and being jealous of other girls, all of those "pick me girls" are out there talking to guys and going on dates and getting married.

CamoWoobie1000000 · 2019-05-30T15:38:32+00:00

Disagree. In the words of Nate Dogg:

"I'm lookin' for a girl that will do whatever the fuck I say, everyday she be givin' it up"

Title	The reason pick me girls fail is because men love women who challenge them not ones who just roll over and do whatever he wants.
Author	azngirl7689
Upvotes	3
Comments	74
Date	May 30, 2019 1:45 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/butcpt/the_reason_pick_me_girls_fail_is_because_men_love/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-reason-pick-me-girls-fail-is-because-men-love.255531 https://theredarchive.com/post/255531

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