CMV: It’s not possible to have a “just for me” slut. Either a woman is into sex or she’s not

flamingoinghome · 2019-05-08T22:53:23+00:00

I think there's something slightly disingenuous going on from some of the men here. I think there's a distinct underbelly of men who actually kind of *want* a woman to act slutty for him, not out of genuine lust, but "fear of losing him" or something. That's what a lot of the "dread" talk boils down to--these guys are genuinely into the idea of a sexual performance primarily motivated by fear of abandonment.

It creeps me the fuck out, but it's there.

FlavFal · 2019-05-08T14:03:48+00:00

But you can be HL and not be a slut.

IllAardvark · 2019-05-08T14:04:27+00:00

Wanting to have a lot of sex does not equal wanting to have a lot of sex with a lot of people. It is entirely possible to find a woman who is really into sex but only in a relationship.

Aaren_Augustine · 2019-05-08T14:08:34+00:00

Why is it every time I hear this type of responses I know the person saying it is going to star fish the WHOLE relationship? Not just in the bedroom. That the perspective oozes the "I'm lazy and will only participate when I FEEL like it."

Problem being then that type of woman will complain about how their SO stopped caring about the dishes, became too invested in video games or stopped bothering to do anything about the relationship in general.

Sound familiar?

If you want to be LL then expect your man to be Low Relationship Effort. Because that's what LL means. "If I don't feel like it, I won't". Are women afraid of working for their relationship? Are they even capable of keeping their relationship in the green or do they leave that for their men to solve for them?

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-05-08T13:58:15+00:00

You're wrong, it is certainly possible. Knew so many Jewish and Catholic "just for me sluts." Lots of women really, really like sex but not sex outside of a monogamous, intimate relationships. You're painting a false dichotomy of either hookup slut or prude duty starfish sex. I think this dichotomy is more apparent in average or below average women, but certainly not among attractive women. Attractive women typically only have sex within relationships and the data shows this.

CamoWoobie100 · 2019-05-08T13:59:22+00:00

Every slut started as a virgin.

Electra_Cute · 2019-05-08T13:49:37+00:00

I am unsure of what you are trying to argue in this post.

[deleted] · 2019-05-08T13:59:07+00:00

There are HL women who haven’t slutted it up yet. Typically in the under 21 crowd. Just go for them.

reluctantly_red · 2019-05-08T19:52:25+00:00

You can find a woman who likes sex and is into you. This combination ensures you'll continue to get laid on a regular basis.

BTW my old 78 Fiesta was great fun day after day until I totaled it in a rollover. My 1998 A6 was only fun on the few days it was actually running well.

_Tumbleweed- · 2019-05-08T14:12:12+00:00

Since when does loving sex and doing freaky shit make a woman a slut? That’s some misogynistic bullshit right there.

I love sex and I do freaky shit, but only with my boyfriend. So am I a slut or a non slut or a slut just for him?

est-la-lune · 2019-05-08T14:51:36+00:00

I think my problem with your analogy is that you don't separate "slut" from "enjoys sex". I'm not really sure what you're arguing.

There are plenty of women who enjoy sex and respond enthusiastically when men put in the work. That's the honeymoon phase. The difference is that a woman who's interested in a ONS will be aroused by a different level (and kind) of effort than a woman who wants a LTR.

And is the goal really to get women to act like porn stars? Because there are a lot of ways to show you're into someone without "performing" during sex.

TheMedsPeds · 2019-05-08T15:49:50+00:00

I am just sitting here squinting my eyes trying TRYING to see the world as that black and white.

crackrocksteady7 · 2019-05-08T13:56:40+00:00

Yup. But the best option isn't wifing up a slut (obvious downsides) which is likely what you're implying, but dating one and sticking with her as long as the getting's good while not investing too much and keeping your options open.

Don’t try to turn your Ford Fiesta into an Audi!

Sluts aren't audis, they're fun cars with no locks and a key you can't take out of the ignition

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wtffellification · 2019-05-08T15:17:14+00:00

damn i wish i could say “cant turn a hoe into an Audi”... but it doesnt apply...

prettygirl0816 · 2019-05-08T16:29:01+00:00

A woman will slut for a man she is into. It doesn't mean she is that way with everyone. If she is not into him - especially on an emotional level, all bets are off. There is no faking it LT. It will dwell from daily to once a month.
Me and my BF have a great connection...a few times a day works GREAT.

SkookumTree · 2019-05-08T19:16:50+00:00

It is extremely rare. If I recall correctly u/ClarityOfDisaster was like this. Needed to like someone’s personality first, took her months to get comfortable, wanted sex twice a day.

[deleted] · 2019-05-08T21:16:59+00:00

You're either a cuck or you're not.

Even if she does it for you- do you really want that? Do you want obligation sex? How pathetic. Isn’t it funner to fuck women who genuinely want to fuck?

Yeah it is, which is why me and many other men have given up on dating. Because beta bucks is the best we could ever be seen as. So it's better to live alone than to be a cuck.

[deleted] · 2019-05-08T22:45:31+00:00

My wife is proof against this theory. She is hot for her male coworker, pretty sure but will have sex with me once a month if shes feeling generous. She was also way more wild and sexual with her ex than with me. How sexual a woman is willing to be depends on the man.

Imagine a mower that wont start for you or a car whose engine only activates when another man takes the wheel and you begin to understand the predicament of a man saddled with a (shudder) wife.

beachredwhine · 2019-05-09T01:17:07+00:00

Nope. Women don't act they react. A girl can be a huge prude who dead beds her hubby for years and then a crazy nympho with a different guy.

ovaldoughnut · 2019-05-10T01:57:04+00:00

I think maybe virgins don’t count on this. I was a virgin until my husband and I started dating. He’s the only person I’ve ever wanted to be with and have ever been with. I have insanely HL. Enough so that he sometimes gets annoyed with me constantly wanting sex, and he has a decently HL for a dude from what I’ve heard from friends.

haleykohr · 2019-05-12T13:23:49+00:00

This is why we need sex robots or cat girls

Whisper · 2019-05-13T09:09:49+00:00

You can’t make an LL woman into a porn star.

Sure can.

I mean you can but it’s a lot of work.

Didn't feel like work.

It’s not worth it IMO.

You do you.

Isn’t it funner to fuck women who genuinely want to fuck?

It's even funner to fuck women who genuinely want to be fucked by me.

angels_fan_rp · 2019-05-08T14:04:54+00:00

HL doesn't necessarily mean slut.

You could be high libido and still very passive in the bedroom.

Slut in this context means that you're adventurous and wild and do all kinds of debauchery in the bedroom. Not that you simply have lots of sex.

blackedoutfast · 2019-05-08T18:54:39+00:00

there's no such thing as high libido women or low libido women, just women who are with sexually attractive guys and women who are with sexually unattractive guys. AF vs BB

all those supposedly LL women who only have occasional boring, no-oral, no-anal, starfish-only duty sex with their boring beta husbands magically transform into horny sex-crazed animals with the right guy. especially when they've had a drink or two.

Even if she does it for you- do you really want that? Do you want obligation sex? How pathetic. Isn’t it funner to fuck women who genuinely want to fuck?

that's exactly why men DON'T want to be the beta bucks guy that a woman settles down with after she's ready to stop riding the CC. they DON'T WANT to just have occasional boring duty sex with their wife, when she used to have enthusiastic, adventurous fun sex with guys in her past. all the guys that she fucked because she wanted to fuck them, not because she had to do it to keep a beta provider on the hook.

SeasonedRP · 2019-05-08T21:29:38+00:00

-It's not possible to have a "just for me" slut."

Sure it is. I see a woman now who was widowed at a young age. She had very limited sexual experience. I've introduced her to several things she had never done before, and she always has a high libido with me. When we're apart, she'll watch porn scenes of the things she particularly enjoys and tell me about it. She'd never watched porn before meeting me. She has a high-level professional career such that she can't be seen outwardly as being slutty. To get there required long hours of study and work. She didn't party as a teen, and got married early to a man with a similar background and career. With me, she actively explores her sexual desires and has even proposed a MFF threesome. Anyone who knows her would be shocked at that. Maybe repressing her libido for so long and finding an opportunity to express it brought out that side of her. I have a comparable career but in looks and personality I am quite different from her former husband and the men she is around day to day at work, and it just seems that she has a strong physical attraction to me that she hasn't expressed before with anyone else.

azngirl7689 · 2019-05-08T14:11:49+00:00

This is a thought experiment, because women don't like sex.

But the point is, it is ENTIRELY possible for a woman to simultaneously have a sex drive, and to constrain herself to one partner.

If you want someone who is HL and loves sex, date someone who is HL

Pffft. Might as well tell LL women to give up on dating then. All they'll do is what women have been doing since the dawn of time: lying to men and saying they like sex, and then having constant headaches the moment they get the ring

Do you want obligation sex? How pathetic.

Nope

Isn’t it funner to fuck women who genuinely want to fuck?

Not possible

CMV: It’s not possible to have a “just for me” slut. Either a woman is into sex or she’s not

Comments

To expound further:

You can criticize the narrative, but to those who have experienced it your criticism will mean less to them than their lived experience.

Title	CMV: It’s not possible to have a “just for me” slut. Either a woman is into sex or she’s not
Author	azngirl7689
Upvotes	19
Comments	180
Date	May 8, 2019 1:48 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/bm5hhm/cmv_its_not_possible_to_have_a_just_for_me_slut/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-its-not-possible-to-have-a-just-for-me-slut.255883 https://theredarchive.com/post/255883