Would you take someone who rejected you in the past?

SpaceWhiskey · 2018-06-25T02:39:07+00:00

It really depends but probably not. I’d be very skeptical and interested in hearing their thought process.

reluctantly_red · 2018-06-25T02:46:12+00:00

Hell NO!!!

Doesn't mean I wouldn't lead them on a bit (particularly if they'd been a real bitch previously).

BTW this shit actually happens. I've had several women tell me years later that rejecting me was a mistake (I'm moderately successful and the lives of the women in question hadn't turned out quite the way they hoped).

tiposk · 2018-06-25T03:48:46+00:00

Depends on the reasons he rejected me and the reasons he's pursuing me. If he thinks that I'm convenient and available, he can go and screw himself. If he rejected me because of a long trip, family issues or a very long time ago, I wouldn't think much about it.

Texastentialism · 2018-06-25T03:01:56+00:00

If I still liked them, sure.

carefreevermillion · 2018-06-25T03:25:47+00:00

Depends on the why of the rejection. Also strength of tingles.

tallwheel · 2018-06-25T04:19:21+00:00

This has actually happened to me except that I was significantly hotter than when last we met. I laughed (not in a mean way) and played it off as though he had made a joke, thus sparing both of us the embarrassment of my turning him down flat.

goatismycopilot · 2018-06-25T04:10:09+00:00

blackedoutfast · 2018-06-25T04:51:11+00:00

depends on why they rejected me in the first place.

if they rejected me back then because they weren't attracted to me but now they've hit the wall and want me as their BB forever husband or whatever then fuck no.

if they only rejected me back then because they were in a LTR and didn't want to cheat but now they're pursuing me now that they're finally single again, then yeah maybe. probably.

Barely-moral · 2018-06-25T04:56:09+00:00

The pain of rejection is already gone. I am inmune to it. She can't hurt me any more.

Now I am in the position to choose.

Sure, I would give her a chance. On my terms. Either I get what I want from her or she can get the fuck out.

What is she going to do? Leave again? That card can only work one time on me. She wasted it years ago.

In that aspect is even better than dating someone I wasn't rejected by.

It is a good position to be in. I could give it a try.

exit_sandman · 2018-06-25T07:37:22+00:00

In your particular setup: No, I would assume that her change of mind comes from a "the grass isn't greener on the other side after all"-mindset. If I haven't changed and she was truly into that "unchanged me", she would have been receptive to my approaches in the past.

In general: no, but more for age-related reasons than anything else.

killallthenarcs · 2018-06-25T08:33:07+00:00

Not enough info. I mean why did I want them then, why did they reject me, why did they change their mind, what reasons have I got to want them now, what are my alternatives? What's going on in my life right now (not gonna leave a LTR for them that's for sure) and what is going on in their life? We've both (especially if in this scenario we are youngish) had formative experiences since then, it isn't like one day he said "ewwwwww no" and then the next day I'm getting a call. I'll think about it.

Lyanina · 2018-06-25T02:47:29+00:00

Probably not, but it depends on why they initially rejected me. If I was like depressed or a bitch and am in a better place or a nicer person 2 years later, I could be pretty understanding. Or if they were in the closet and not ready to date. Or something sappy like they were afraid of risking our friendship but then realized they couldn't deny their feelings any longer, lol. I could romanticize the fuck out of that.

In most cases though I would probably have very successfully lost all interest in them after the rejection. Especially after two years. It wouldn't be resentment, punishment, or even suspicion -- I really think I'd just be so over them. We'd have to meet again in a new situation for me to see them in a romantic light again after having trained myself out of it.

Littleknownfacts · 2018-06-25T02:52:05+00:00

I did this with a guy who pumped and dumped me. A few months (maybe a year?) later he sent me a FB request, then a few weeks after that I left a comment in something he posted because if he didn't want me to post on his shit he shouldn't have friended me. Anyway, after that he called me and invited me out and we reconnected. The relationship was okay. We dated and co-habitating for almost three years with probably the most amicable end that a nearly 3 year relationship could have. Whatever, shit happens.

concacanca · 2018-06-25T10:59:39+00:00

This has happened to me. In the intervening phase she'd gone full slut mode and saw me as a solid boyfriend for a LTR.

I don't think I said anything, just walked away.

wtknight · 2018-06-25T11:19:07+00:00

No. Once someone rejects me then I'm done with her, unless it was for a reason like she had a boyfriend already that I wasn't aware of when I asked her out.

SlashCo80 · 2018-06-25T16:14:59+00:00

It depends on what happened.

You rejected me because you had a girlfriend? Then it’s fine.

You rejected me because you thought I was ugly? No.

PhotosyntheticChad · 2018-06-25T03:39:24+00:00

Because I’m a prick I’d probably string them along civilly and enthusiastically, fuck them then ditch them without explanation, because I’m petty and to get revenge.

Either that or I’d agree to meet them, fuck someone else in between and then tell them about it in a very casual manner when I met up with them. Making a point that this happened between the agreement and the meeting because I’m not interested in anything serious. The intention is really then to humiliate them.

But I’m a prick and quite possibly a sociopath so that’s not really a constructive or representative view, just an indictment of how petty and revenge focused I can be when I’ve been ‘wronged’.

[deleted] · 2018-06-25T03:08:58+00:00

Yes, she can be one of my multiple wives.

planejane · 2018-06-25T05:46:32+00:00

Depends on the timeframe.

I went on a date or two with a guy who bullied me in junior high, but we were 25ish when we went out, twice the age we were at the time he teased me. Didn't really work out but he was a much different and much better person after a few years of life chilled him out.

Another guy I had a major crush on in high school, and he always found me kinda cute, but I was a bit of a mess due to a rough home life and I think I scared him away from anything at that time. We reconnected with a group of friends over drinks at around Thanksgiving this last year and he gently probed to see if I was single, but I'm happily with someone now. Good guy, if timing was different I might have gone for it to see where it went.

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Salty-Bastard · 2018-06-25T02:36:20+00:00

As painful as it can be you can never look back.

crackrocksteady7 · 2018-06-25T02:37:37+00:00

fuck no

hammerhaunts · 2018-06-25T03:01:07+00:00

Really depends on circumstances

DerelictCruiser · 2018-06-25T04:20:19+00:00

Yes, so I could lead her on and subsequently reject her, see what it's like to be on the other side of the fence.

Petty but satisfying.

yasee · 2018-06-25T05:25:52+00:00

Sure

abaxeron · 2018-06-25T11:19:45+00:00

15 years ago? - Yes.

Now? - No.

BPremium · 2018-06-25T11:37:10+00:00

No. That's pretty humiliating

[deleted] · 2018-06-25T12:20:50+00:00

Hum... probably not.

It may be petty but if I invested in you and you didn't want to reward it at the time, this is fair.

but if now you want me without a good reason, something has to have changed with her. And this probably will require heavily investment, not only monetary but psychological and in effort/time too.

So, no, not interested in investing on someone who certainly will make me spend even more effort, thank you.

Unless she could prove me something did not happen, I mean.

RockinSocksII · 2018-06-25T13:41:49+00:00

No. Most likely I would be interested in dating someone else by that point, and I don't enjoy people who waste my time.

[deleted] · 2018-06-25T14:26:36+00:00

Def not

wattwatty · 2018-06-25T18:48:27+00:00

This scenario obtains for men all the time! Over and over and over again. I am collecting every no from a woman on this thread for the next time somebody trots out the lie about women's "wants" changing with time.

Doom_and-Gloom · 2018-06-25T18:50:22+00:00

Depends on why (and HOW) they rejected me in the past, and why they're interested in me now.

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2018-06-25T19:21:40+00:00

take them as in string them along and humiliate them? yep.

[deleted] · 2018-06-25T20:15:44+00:00

Didn’t like you as a kitten? Don’t take them in as a cat.

Million-Suns · 2018-06-25T21:04:24+00:00

I would not. Part of the process of moving on after a rejection is finding flaws in the other and exacerbate them, leading to find that person repulsive.

Not being her first choice at the time, means that it's a flaw that can't erase.

newName543456 · 2018-06-25T21:49:45+00:00

Hook up - maybe.

jonascf · 2018-06-26T04:08:40+00:00

Probably not but it does depend, to some extent, as to why they rejected me.

Like was it because they were pursuing someone else? Then fuck no. Was is becasue they were to busy with career stuff? Well, maybe.

reaper555 · 2018-06-29T19:43:08+00:00

Hell No! Once I have been rejected that is it - good bye and have nice day. I have never crawled back to someone that has rejected me. You disrespect your self when you do that.

stats135 · 2018-06-25T02:41:10+00:00

It wouldn't change any of my vetting criteria. If she was essentially still the same girl I tried to ask out all that time ago, then if I wanted her then I would still want her now. Of course she is bringing in 2+ years less of her youth/beauty to the table, and therefore would make her less desirable. But fundamentally what I would be taking issue with is her being closer to the wall and losing her youth, not the fact that her rejected me before.

iDidItAgain321 · 2018-06-25T23:25:19+00:00

Define "take".

"Have a serious relationship with"? Fuck no.

"String along and fuck"? Sure, assuming they haven't declined in appearance or anything.

Title	Would you take someone who rejected you in the past?
Author	Pooch2311
Upvotes	6
Comments	65
Date	June 25, 2018 2:27 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/8tmznt/would_you_take_someone_who_rejected_you_in_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/would-you-take-someone-who-rejected-you-in-the.261787 https://theredarchive.com/post/261787

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