What does it mean when a guy says "I like myself when I'm with you"?

trettles · 2020-09-23T01:07:30+00:00

“Once the honeymoon period is over, I’ll turn into an asshole”

goatismycopilot · 2020-09-23T01:31:40+00:00

Nothing. He is saying some billshit to make you soften up and think he is romantic.

SadClownProstitute · 2020-09-23T01:32:43+00:00

The handbook and several posts in FDS have all said that one trait of an HVM is that he brings out the best in an HVW, so I'm going to go against the grain and say that sometimes the reverse is true, and that when a man says this, it's because he likes spending time with you and sees the value you add to his life.

Unfortunately, this isn't one of those times.

When he's blowing hot and cold and he only said this after you called him out for being all over the place, it's a coded message that says "being held accountable for my actions is a completely new experience for me, and it's kind of a thrill".

The problem is that for guys like this the thrill wears off pretty fast and it doesn't take long to go from "I like myself when I'm with you" to "I was raised by wolves and I'm going to need you to do a lot of emotional labour to mold me into a man who doesn't need to be nagged and pushed into doing the right thing all the time. Keep up the good work - I should be a work of art in about two decades!"

hypointellectual · 2020-09-23T01:25:52+00:00

Centering himself while saying he likes you. Red flag.
Watched too many Rom Coms and thinks this is a good line to use. I think there’s a new pop song about this too? Can’t think for himself or really wants to sound romantic but it’s super try hard. Red flag.
He sucks as a person and can’t be decent when he’s alone. Red flag.
He’s manipulating you and pinpointed you as the caretaker type that wants to stay around and improve people. Red flag.
Always trust your gut!!!

MuffinSongs · 2020-09-23T01:31:43+00:00

I don’t care about you. I care about how you make me feel.

chateauduchat · 2020-09-23T01:11:05+00:00

A man who hates himself should stay very far away from women.

electroloop · 2020-09-23T01:18:31+00:00

It means he wants your pussy on speed dial. Mixed signals are always a NO. He's telling you what you want to hear so you continue to stick around and put up with his behavior.

Platipus6 · 2020-09-23T03:05:25+00:00

Look up Chris Watts and how he fondly talked about his side-chick.

She did all the thinking, planning and guessing. She practically whipped out a clipboard to ask him about everything he liked that he never got to do while he was shackled with his wife, children and debts.

She took so much off his plate his brain was practically empty. He got to think about nothing but himself and what would please him. He was taken to dinner, sports events, concerts and bars he liked. He got to be completely self-centered. He admitted he completely forgot he had a wife and children while he was with her and it made him feel good. He had no responsibilities bit his own selfishness and his dick.

"I like how easy you make it for me. I like how selfish I get to be. I like how you take care of all the nasty parts of adult life for me, and I don't feel the normal shame for being a failure of an adult because you aren't resentful and simmering with rage yet".

Throwthisaway512 · 2020-09-23T01:15:04+00:00

Someone who probably has BPD or some mood disorder. Possible love bombing and can possibly turn abusive.

They “might like themselves with you” now but that doesn’t mean a stable self image and you are put responsible for their wildly changing moods. It’s a manipulation tactic 100%.

adertina · 2020-09-23T01:26:55+00:00

He’ll be emotionally dependent and will likely attempt to guilt you into staying with him

ewwmen · 2020-09-23T01:23:49+00:00

Pickme nectar

LevelTurbulent · 2020-09-23T02:39:11+00:00

It means he's a shitty person but the infatuation he feels around you makes him feel nice.

It won't last. Then he'll just be the shitty person.

LegallyParis · 2020-09-23T01:01:44+00:00

I feel it's a manipulation tactic.

With dating, you're better off thinking "guilty until proven innocent," or that a doubtful behavior is a red flag until proven beyond a reasonable doubt to be a green one.

Usually, though, they stay red flags.

Maude2010 · 2020-09-23T01:55:37+00:00

It’s a line. I’ve heard it a hundred times.

DadaExperiment · 2020-09-23T03:06:27+00:00

It's just a line. An emotional con game.

apple_cores · 2020-09-23T04:24:20+00:00

The ol hot and cold method. He’s inconsistent but if he’s in the mood, you can be the one to make him feel good. Drop him like radioactive waste.

burpleseaurchin · 2020-09-23T04:58:52+00:00

He's going to be inconsolably mopey in the future and it's YOUR job as the ONE thing on this ENTIRE UNIVERSE to make him feel better. At all times. All the time.

Pahapan · 2020-09-23T06:01:22+00:00

My abusive ex told me he liked that I encouraged him to be better. I tried to get him to take his meds consistently, to find a new therapist in the area, to stop selling drugs, to stop doing drugs, to stop smoking, to stop drinking, to stop hanging out with his gang member friends when he claimed he wanted to leave that life behind, to stop having emotional outbursts at work that sabotaged his advancement, to stop eating like shit, to get adequate sleep, to return to actually practicing his religion since he'd said it'd brought him peace, etc., etc.

Did any of my encouraging actually achieve anything? Nope. But he's the type of person who gets a dopamine hit just by thinking about doing better, no need to actually do better. He loved stringing me along as his little cheerleader. It probably amused him knowing he'd actually fooled me into thinking he'd change.

swatir24 · 2020-09-23T07:49:10+00:00

He wants to make you feel needed and wanted. A great way for narcissist men to trap a codependent.

vmuzondi · 2020-09-23T14:22:16+00:00

It means he’s usually a terrible person lol

Title	What does it mean when a guy says "I like myself when I'm with you"?
Author	ewwmen
Upvotes	35
Comments	39
Date	September 23, 2020 12:58 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/iy0aof/what_does_it_mean_when_a_guy_says_i_like_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/what-does-it-mean-when-a-guy-says-i-like-myself.265811 https://theredarchive.com/post/265811

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