If women can supposedly tell which guys are "creepy" and fake "nice guys" why do so many of them end up in abusive relationships?

mydikishomofobik · 2017-09-15T23:48:57+00:00

They'd rather date hot abusive psychos then creepy unattractive weirdos

Ultramegasaurus · 2017-09-16T12:13:27+00:00

Because the creep radar is bullshit, just like the "abusers are very good at hiding their intentions" cope.

Women label unattractive guys as creeps/misogynists and ignore or even desire asshole behavior from attractive men, simple as that.

Honestly, if there is one thing women won't fucking do, it's admitting they are shallow. They prefer thinking up entire belief systems that make rejecting nice guys and going after assholes seem just and logical. The entire anti-nice-guy circlejerk is basically a fucked up version of sour grapes.

Entropy-7 · 2017-09-16T02:23:34+00:00

Women want the "submissive alpha". They have a fantasy about a guy who dicks over the world to get what he wants and yet comes home to lick her shoes and hand everything over to her.

lespreferences · 2017-09-16T00:06:28+00:00

Yet there is little, if any, talk on the subject of women who end up with abusive psychos.

Real psychos are quite often mentioned as 'charming'. Like - 'I thought he was a bit too passionate and jealous but he was so charming I couldnt help myself'.

There is definitely something of a myth about women that they have this "intuition" that makes them able to tell certain things about people, or are able to read situations better than men. It's bullshit most of the time and I'd think most right-minded women would agree with me.

The trouble comes when they start believing in it themselves. I've seen so many women like this. They make an incorrect snap judgement about someone, decide they dont like them for no discernable reason. Say shit like "I'd just know if my guy was cheating on me" when he is cheating on her right under her nose. If you're dating them, they might start accusing you of lying for no reason whatsoever.

In the case of actual psychos, there is the thing that they might be quite charming. But also the thing that they will lie, and women are no better at sifting out lies than men and will take lies from charming men very quickly a lot of the time.

I tend to give women who think they have this kind of instinct a wide berth. If I have to deal with them then usually theyre easy to manipulate once their sixth sense decides it likes you.

LittleWindowpane · 2017-09-16T00:12:18+00:00

Guys who are creepy aren't necessarily bad people, but they give a sense of social "off"-ness that signals danger. And then charismatic psychos are very good at not giving those danger signals, and the crazy lurks beneath. Women, like men, can't read minds or hearts, so they have to follow their instincts. And when dealing with creatures as complex as other humans, instincts can lead you astray.

Also, let's not pretend that creepy guys are never psychos.

Pope_Lucious · 2017-09-16T02:28:48+00:00

Because women don't sexually select for "niceness"

[deleted] · 2017-09-16T07:20:53+00:00

Women are looking for the male unicorn - a guy who is a twat towards others, but nice to her.

A passably attractive man who displays dominance, throws his weight around and dominates an humiliates others gives women the tingles.

It has to be accepted that women sexually select for many obnoxious traits in a man.

This is why it's really difficult to muster any kind of sympathy for a woman in an abusive relationship. It seems that the concept of ''you made your bed, now lie in it'' is miraculously suspended when it comes to women suffering in abusive relationships.

[deleted] · 2017-09-16T07:39:20+00:00

People will come up with all kinds of dumbass excuses like "Well, psychos are by their nature very good at manipulation and have great social skills so unlike you ugly creepers they can hide their abusiveness". As if every abusive man is some kind of Machiavellian Bond villain. The truth is that women don't have a sixth sense or special ability to pick anything up. The guys having trouble dating have those troubles because they're unattractive, not because women get "bad vibes" from them.

mydikishomofobik · 2017-09-16T05:05:33+00:00

Women are are very quick to label some men "creepy, fake nice guys" without even knowing them. But then you can have men who openly act like assholes to a lot of people constantly. And women will choose those men over and over again. This is why you see all this "red pill" stuff, with guys trying to act like assholes to attract women. They see that's what young attractive women reward with pussy, so they emulate it.

I think women are just attracted to high status men and repulsed by low status men who want to have sex with them. They're attracted to dominance and repulsed by subservience. Abuse of other people and them = dominance in their minds, and being nice to other people and them = weakness. So they always go for the abusive assholes.

Since men and women are "equal" in modern western industrialized countries, women are more drawn to the more abusive kinds of assholes. They're repulsed by nice guys who are actually interested in sex with women and won't be their homosexual or asexual sissy bff's'.

Because of this, there's a cycle of younger women getting abused and discarded by asshole men. They might want a genuine nice guy later, but that's only once they're older or have children by the asshole(s).

When women say a man is "creepy" or a "fake nice guy" its usually bullshit. They have no intuition. Or, if they do, it always leads them straight to the most abusive asshole.

TheBookOfSeil · 2017-09-16T00:09:18+00:00

I've long since come to the conclusion that the order for forming relationships within "the dating world" makes no sense.

A logical chain of events would look something like this:

Meet

Express and find common interests

Become close friends

Relationship

Possible marriage

Instead, it looks something like this:

Meet

Express and find common interests

Relationship

Hope to become close friends

Possible marriage

Rather than get to know each other for an extended period of time, people allow their sexual interests to propel them into a relationship before sufficiently knowing the other person.

Hence, when the first instance arises some time later, they're completely surprised by it, and, depending on how interested and invested they are in the relationship, some make the decision to stay, thinking they can "fix it;" that these people "will change."

Sometimes, they do, and sometimes they don't, but the problem is that the sequence in which the majority of relationships form is out of order.

ClarityofDisaster · 2017-09-16T00:06:00+00:00

I don't think guys who have trouble with women are entitled creeps or losers, but I'm curious about your opinion on this. If you wanted to pick a nice guy, a truly nice guy, how would you pick him? What are the signs women should look for?

KrispyMcSockington · 2017-09-16T00:04:44+00:00

A man who is attractive to women is so rare they put up with his bullshit until they can't anymore.

Some women have nurse syndrome where they want to fix guys who are clearly very troubled. It's self centred because she wants to be known for turning his life around.

Women also have issues with insecurity and can attract shitty partners. For example, some women enjoy being with dominant men, some of whom are assholes.

But the last thing a woman wants is a boring man. She would rather risk a dangerous man who excites her and gives her the tingles than a man who makes her feel nothing. Guys also put up with crazy women if they are attractive for far too long, too.

Don't believe women who claim they can sense if someone is creepy. It's code for unattractive and is really just a way for them to shift the blame for rejection onto him, instead of accepting responsibility for being shallow. Attractive men get away with creepy behaviour all the time.

[deleted] · 2017-09-16T03:50:26+00:00

Because women have no responsibility. That's the problem. Also the state enforces it.

ConnorGracie · 2017-09-16T09:34:23+00:00

I think women will be in denial about this forever. Women are just if not more shallow than men and they pay for that with bad relationships. You can't judge people by first impressions, just can't, but women need some mass filter because of all the attention they get. The creep is the last sort if guy to abuse women he just isn't entitled that way.

Butt-Factory · 2017-09-16T01:08:22+00:00

"Creepy" isn't the same as "asshole"

Creeps are easy to spot. They generally give off a "vibe" due to poor social skills and inappropriate behavior. Creeps lack finesse and awareness.

Assholes are often effective manipulators with good or excellent social skills who can effectively use charm and lies to lure people in.

alsdkdnf · 2017-09-16T02:25:24+00:00

The guys who are written off as creepy generally have poor social skills. It would be hard to get close enough to someone to be abusive without charm. Abusers are rarely abusive at the start. They're charming and gradually edge towards worse and worse behavior the closer and more dependent their partner becomes.

caesarfecit · 2017-09-16T06:06:25+00:00

Blinded by the serotonin. Low self-esteem guys lack it, so their emotional cues are all wrong. High self-esteem guys have it in abundance and girls overlook red flags everyone else sees.

Same things happens with guys and dopamine. Every time a girl says "what does he see in her, she's such a bitch!?" it's cause he's blinded by the dopamine.

rulenumber303 · 2017-09-16T00:36:15+00:00

Well, there's competent assholes and incompetent ones. Maybe 90% of assholes are incompetent.

As far as incompetent ones go, they just play the odds as hard as they can.

Everybody gets their own tragedy, that one situation their own fatal flaw did not let them avoid despite the fact that everyone else managed to avoid it. That's the thing... when women get together with creeps or men get together with borderlines, we can mostly all of us see what is happening except the person it is happening to is blind. The person who is blind to their current situation has already dodged a hundred bullets, this is just the one they didn't see in time. There's a reason the dramatic genre of tragedy fucking resonates with us, this is how life often works. Hamlet would never have had Othello's tragedy he'd have waited out the uncertainty, Othello would have shoved a sword in Hamlet's uncle and never looked back.

Creeps and borderlines who really want a relationship get good at sniffing out the one in a hundred who won't know what has hit them. Trial and error.

Competent assholes however, have everyone fooled unless you've spent a lot of time in their company and have had your interests go up against theirs a few times. Which is why psycho people end up with a long history of divorces. He seems nice but he's been divorced three times? She seems great but you'd be husband five? RUN! RUN LIKE YOUR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!

And what of the people who give out creepy vibes but are harmless? Stop giving out creepy vibes or play the numbers like the creeps do.

despisedlove2 · 2017-09-17T02:44:37+00:00

You are assuming that they don't like the abuse. Have you looked at the porn preferences of women - violent, degrading porn with rape is consistently at the top?

With a woman, never pay any attention to what she says about herself. Watch what she does.

pinkgoldrose · 2017-09-16T15:26:58+00:00

You're confusing different things I think. Women can sense social awkwardness - not smiling at the right moment, not reciprocating conversation at the right moment, hating people, being disdainful. That's why the incel who says "but I don't say that stuff in real life!" is still a creep in real life and everyone perceives it.

Abusers in abusive relationships can be charismatic guys, or perfectly normal guys, who just do a bait and switch.

It's just dumb to say "date the obvious creep, he can't do a bait and switch!". Obvious creeps aren't by default better than normal guys. Not all normal guys turn out to be abusers. Some obvious creeps could still turn out to be abusers. What you hope for is a normal guy or true nice guy who ends up not being an abuser.

OfSpock · 2017-09-16T02:18:09+00:00

People are attracted to what is familiar. Women from abusive homes are attracted to abusers. Their radar works fine, it's miscalibrated.

Plus, no one claims that women have prefect intuition, just that, on average, it's better than mens.

wuboo · 2017-09-16T03:37:04+00:00

Low self esteem or desperate or come from prior abuse or are not that great at reading social cues - some women's radars are better than others. There are dozens of reasons.

sittinginabaralone · 2017-09-16T03:55:45+00:00

Because it's really easy to be nice and pamper a girl at first and then you notice how annoying she is.

The people throwing around words like "entitled" are the personification of a clickbait ad. There is 0 reason to listen to what they say.

justhanging92 · 2017-09-16T08:52:05+00:00

Honestly, I'm not sure if it's the abusiveness itself that attracts women, I feel like these women are attracted to the man because of certain qualities and start getting really attached, and by the time the guy starts showing their true colors it's too late and the woman is in deep. I think that's why there's lists online informing you of the warning signs of abusive relationships, the tells are either too subtle or women rationalize it away as a one time thing or think their specific man is different from the rest. It's basically having oneitis fore the guy and later backfiring.

YetAnotherCommenter · 2017-09-16T10:32:48+00:00

Because "actual psychopaths and abusers" =/= "creepy/fake nice guys/losers."

Actual psychos, or terrible violent monstrous people, are a different category. They have a different affliction (i.e. being psycho/abusive).

"Creepy"/"Fake Nice Guys"/"Losers" are afflicted with bad social skills/Aspergers/weirdness/not-being-physically-attractive-enough.

Women can screen for the latter, but not the former. Actual psychos are often very good at pretending to be normal.

[deleted] · 2017-09-16T10:36:51+00:00

Because they downplay negatives for attractive people. Halo effect.

JezebeltheQueen5656 · 2017-09-16T14:38:27+00:00

You wonder why because you are not a woman and are unwilling to understand how she thinks without waiting for some 'gotcha' moment. You listen to respond, you don't listen to understand. So many articles and women's commentary on this topic, yet here we are...Typical male solipsism.

[deleted] · 2017-09-18T11:03:28+00:00

many women are addicted to emotional rollercoaster.

Surfif456 · 2017-09-19T01:38:15+00:00

Because that would imply that something is wrong with them which goes against modern leftist ideology.

[deleted] · 2017-09-19T14:44:57+00:00

Research shows nice women end up with nice men and vice versa. Same with attractiveness: women are more attractive than men because of makeup and effort, but controlling for that, most people are with others of the same level of attractiveness. It's only the exceptions you notice, but the exceptions are what drive you nuts.

Most women absolutely can smell the misogyny on men, and they will avoid them like the plague. But women who are broken, struggle with mental health or emotional problems, were raised without good male and female role models, or have low self esteem for other reasons, are drawn to these guys. Do you want one of these women?

Usually it's not the misogyny itself they're drawn to. It's usually a guy's cockiness, aggressiveness, or other signs of fake self confidence. They simply aren't able to see the hatred and abuse that's about to descend on them. A psychologist once described these women as having a "picker" that's broken.

There are also men who go for abusive women for the same reasons. In fact, it's often the guys who have the worst views of women who end up with the worst women. Thinking 'all' women are gold digging bitches, for example, is the fastest way to end up with a gold digging bitch. It's just unfortunate and ironic that without help, we end up repeating the patterns we're raised with. Redpill sometimes helps men make the best of a bad situation, but it won't help men recognize and break bad patterns -- very much the opposite.

[deleted] · 2017-09-22T06:01:26+00:00

Creepy is caring too much about what a woman or women thinks of him.

Psychopaths by definition do not suffer from this.

Love8Death · 2017-09-15T23:52:20+00:00

Because the creature known as woman is easily misled, naive, and often lacking vision and foresight.

So they gamble that this asshole is a nice asshole, and unfortunately faith leaves many burned.

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andrewisgood · 2017-09-16T08:32:39+00:00

Depends on the woman. I'm also interested in where these straw man responses came from.

MagicGainbow · 2017-09-16T15:59:18+00:00

I think more than women would admit, know the guy is bad news but let looks cloud their judgement/are convinced they can be the ones to change him for the better.

mistresswhat · 2017-09-16T19:16:54+00:00

There are plenty of creepy dudes out there who are too socially inept to hide that they're creeps. Socially adept creeps, on the other hand, learn to hide it pretty well because doing so allows them more opportunities for creeping.

Abusers get away with it for two major reasons. First, they are typically very sweet and romantic in the early stages of the relationship and also between abuse incidents. Second, they usually start the abuse only once the relationship has progressed significantly, typically after major milestones. This allows them to move the relationship forwards as fast as possible and only start abusing once the victim is invested in the relationship.

fatchobanispliff · 2017-09-17T16:41:57+00:00

Most men are abusive, its just the ugly truth. I've never dated a man (except my most recent relationship) that wasn't emotionally or physically abusive. I've never known any women to not have dated an emotionally/verbally/physically abusive man. The majority of the time, the men fake being nice until they're comfortable enough in the relationship to show their true selves. Incels call themselves nice guys and never get picked by women, but they sure as hell are abusive psychos, the only difference between them and men who get laid is that men who get laid have at least something to offer a woman. The problem is men and not the women who settle for them.

[deleted] · 2017-09-17T21:42:01+00:00

Obviously these guys did something right if they got a relationship in the first place. They got past the radar. It's almost as if people are unwilling to discuss it, because it doesn't fit the narrative. I wonder why.

The cycle of abuse usually begins with a honeymoon period where the abuser will act like a loving partner. It isn't until further into the relationship that an abusers behavior starts to change drastically. They "get past the radar" because they typically aren't abusive outright.

agoofyhuman · 2017-10-17T02:34:06+00:00

They are adept at hiding it. They have practiced hiding their true nature and agenda until their victim is trapped that is when they strike. Like a pedophile luring a child in with ice cream, its a carrot. Why you're eating the carrot they get you with a stick, then they say it wasn't a stick, they didn't hit you, it was in your head, and you're silly for thinking there was a carrot.

Another analogy is a frog in a boiling pot: if you put a frog in boiling water it will jump out immediately, if you turn the heat up slowly it will adjust to the new temperature and eventually boil.

Title	If women can supposedly tell which guys are "creepy" and fake "nice guys" why do so many of them end up in abusive relationships?
Author	SlashCo80
Upvotes	32
Comments	164
Date	September 15, 2017 11:48 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/70dom4/if_women_can_supposedly_tell_which_guys_are/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/if-women-can-supposedly-tell-which-guys-are-creepy.266050 https://theredarchive.com/post/266050

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