What's your idea of the perfect relationship?

Lyanina · 2017-06-06T10:48:14+00:00

I don't know if it'd be perfect, but pretty damn good for me:

able to laugh at each other and at ourselves easily, comfortably.
being a unit, working together. Having an "Us vs the problem" approach. This, and the previous one, is pretty key to working through some conflicts that can arise. Of course, in the perfect relationship these conflicts are few and far-between.
Good communication and emotional intimacy. Telling each other when something is wrong as well as when things are great.
Supportive of each other's goals
Mutual trust
Both are committed to making the relationship work. That includes listening to the other partner's voiced concerns and taking them into account/acting on them.
aligned life goals (ex: kids, marriage, where to live...)
Sexual attraction and sexual compatibility
Showing love and affection (there is no one correct way to do this, but basically both should be secure in their partner's affections)

I'm sure I've forgotten something :p

Lyanina · 2017-06-06T12:48:00+00:00

Wanting a 'perfect' relationship is what breeds unhappy ones. Find someone that adores you, that shares your values, and wants to stick it out, and that's really all you can ask for.

shoup88 · 2017-06-06T14:24:03+00:00

Many say peanut butter and jelly, but I really think that peanut butter has the best relationship with honey.

alreadyredschool · 2017-06-06T10:20:45+00:00

Male - not self aware enough to know what I want.

ClarityofDisaster · 2017-06-06T10:28:18+00:00

I'm female sex, male gender.

Actually the relationship I have is my perfect one. We live in our own homes, have our own jobs, pay our own bills, etc. Get together every weekend for meals, sex, videogames, gaming with our friends. He is fine with me taking on the provider role when we grab food, and the initiator role when it comes to sex, and doesn't mind that I don't dress or act feminine. In return, I accept his slightly more stereotypically feminine mindset and am happy to validate his emotions and listen to him vent about work. No kids, no need to use birth control, no fighting over finances...it's fucking great.

disposable_pants · 2017-06-06T10:28:58+00:00

"Perfect"? Or "a high, but attainable goal"? The answers will be very different.

IamTheWalkingMenu · 2017-06-06T15:39:33+00:00

I've told this before. One where we get along and support each other and help each other when we need to. Great sex. Low conflict and no manufactured drama cuz that exhausts me. Cruelty free and loving but not pukey!! He should be chill and not overly introspective and professionally successful with interests of his own so we don't have to be together 24/7. We get married, have kids, dogs and we live in a big white colonial with a garden and I take care of them all.

TheGreasyPole · 2017-06-06T11:51:01+00:00

Not BPD crazy, just the fun kind of crazy that makes her like someone like me
Cute in appearance and behaviour (doesn't need to look like a model, I far prefer "girl next door")
Shared interests
Doesn't want kids
Enjoys psychedelic drugs
And all the other drugs
Kinky in the bedroom
Makes me feel needed, important, loved

TheGreasyPole · Tue Jun 6 12:41:25 2017 UTC

A woman who stands about waist high, with no teeth, and a flat head you can rest your beer on.

midnightvulpine · 2017-06-06T10:29:21+00:00

Male. My perfect relationship would be one so easy that it's not a challenge to get along and enjoy life with my partner. But it's hard to find someone you get along with that well long term.

nemma88 · 2017-06-06T11:12:33+00:00

A/S/L ^

Where you are both happy and support each other, should that be financially, emotionally, sexually etc. Where both understand and respect that investment. Where there isn't anywhere else you would rather be. For me, emotionally and sexually are the things I want to be 'given'.

I mean for specifics I'd like a little cottage on a small holding where I SAHM it up and grow veg and turn/carve wood but that's really dream world about me not a relationship =P

I'd put the recipe as;

Values - If you don't want the same core values out of life your compromises will mean someone isn't happy.
Commitment, Trust, Integrity - All these exist in tandem; individual integrity affects commitment, commitment affects Trust and trust is a pillar for a happy relationship. Jealousy is created from a lack of these things and is going to cause a lot of problems.
Tolerance / Patience - To err is human. If your partners particular habit is annoying but insignificant in the grand scheme of things, learn to let it go. Grievances should be reserved for things that really matter. I don't like the trend of bailing at the first hurdle. All relationships have hurdles; it's learning to jump them that matters.
Communication, Honesty - If you can't communicate with each other... you probably don't even know all of the above. You have to be able to honestly tell your partner what you value for them to be able to give it, etc.

When the starts align with the above I'd say you have a perfect relationship.

despisedlove2 · 2017-06-06T14:23:40+00:00

Male.

My relationship with myself and my work is perfect.

Archwinger · 2017-06-06T17:24:55+00:00

I'm male.

Respect.
Fidelity, which is really just #1.
Sex, which is really just #1 as well.
Maintains her appearance, which is also really just #1.
Not a bitch. See #1.
Hates any and all non-whites, non-heterosexuals, and people with household incomes less than 150k a year and wants them all sent off to camps per Hitler, our Red Pill hero.
No, wait. Just 1-5 is okay.

And expects the same from me.

Eastuss · 2017-06-06T10:24:57+00:00

The idea of a perfect relationship will change whether the significant other must be happy too or not.

nemma88 · 2017-06-06T10:32:02+00:00

Someone that comes over when I want, but doesn't want to move in. Should also be ok with me cheating since I've gotten bad about that over the past few years

Tyler_Gatsby · 2017-06-06T11:16:48+00:00

I don't have to support and take care of her like she's my child, meaning I don't do 100% of the cooking, cleaning, bill paying, etc. I would also like for her to not have any dangerous addictions, so I don't have to worry about coming home, and thinking she's dead, OD'd in the bathtub or such (yes, has happened, didn't need paramedics though).

I would like for her to not get me in random altercations with strangers, and/or the police. I would also like for her friends to not show up out of the blue, wanting to crash, or hide from the police out looking for them. I would also like us to reliably be able to go out on a night off together, her drink alcohol, and not end up assaulting me before the night is over.

I would like for her to not be hung up on any of her, or my ex's, and have that turn into a fight, or taken out on me just b/c. I think that about covers it, and I could live with most things short of this.

IIHotelYorba · 2017-06-06T12:06:55+00:00

Multiple long term relationships with girls who are between a wing girl and a primary. No girlfriends no wives. Girls must be willing to have threesomes and bring me more girls. Introducing me to their friends is also fine.

They don't have to be well educated but they can't be incurious. This goes for all types of topics, art, science, food, travel, the more the better. Have to be interested in at least a few of my main hobbies.

Must have a job. Must have own hobbies. Must have friends. Must know how to drive. Because cmon son.

My main types are skinny mixed black girls and redheads.

I could literally go on all day thinking up shit. (I recommend anyone interested in changing their life REALLY zero in on what you like so you can have a clear goal to move toward as fast as possible.) So I'll end it here.

Male

BPremium · 2017-06-06T12:34:43+00:00

My perfect relationship would be how I am treated by a girl Im seeing casually now, but with someone Im physically attracted too.

oh, and Im male lol

PLUTOKRAT · 2017-06-06T12:39:39+00:00

I'm male. Mid twenties. Medical Student.

She needs to be aware of the influences that our evolutionary past has on our species, and most importantly in the male and female sexual psychology, both in the short term and the long term.

She needs NOT have a sedentary lifestyle. (I go running a few days a week, for 20-30 minutes.).

She needs to understand why jealousy was and is still necessary for humans (especially for males, who have no certainty that he caused the pregnancy), especially in the modern sexually loose societies when both males and females are under sexual "attack" continuously.

When discussing a difficulty she needs to be rational in presenting the problem... and logical while we discuss how to solve it.

She must NOT be a pathologic validation seeking female.

She must have a rational evidence-based view of the world, humanity/society and human nature and everything else. I can't support irrational females for more than a few days.

Edit: Disclaimer: I've found it difficult to find a female like that, and I already know it will be difficult. That's why I'm not searchng for LTR, and I try to not meet them more than 2-3 times. I'm seriously thinking about having kids through surrogacy, by buying eggs and renting wombs (although not now because I don't have the money.).

wub1234 · 2017-06-06T12:41:05+00:00

I am male.

Someone I can talk to on my level and is intelligent. Someone who I feel a connection with. Someone who accepts me as I am. Someone who is fun to be around and wants to try new things and see different places. Someone who I'm attracted to physically.

This is one of the oldest cliches in the book, but it also happens to be true. You just know when you've met the right person. When I met my SO a while ago, she gave me her number and said "let's talk on the phone". So I called her, and I was a bit nervous because I didn't know her and I'm not overly keen on talking on the phone, I prefer to chat face-to-face. But we started talking, and I knew after 10 minutes of talking to her that we were going to be together. And she is by far the best looking woman I've ever dated, she could easily be a model, but being around her has never felt anything other than completely natural (even though I couldn't easily be a model!). We're just good together.

It's the weirdest thing, but when you meet the one that you're supposed to be with you will feel it, you will just know.

roseria97 · 2017-06-06T12:52:38+00:00

My idea of a "perfect" relationship does not exit because it would get boring

wtknight · 2017-06-06T14:18:28+00:00

Someone who is both a best friend and a lover. I don't need any more than that.

[deleted] · 2017-06-06T14:50:48+00:00

Where the amount of housework I do is equivalent to how happy she is to blow me.

RockinSocksII · 2017-06-06T14:51:12+00:00

Sex, video games, and cuddling.

philomexa · 2017-06-06T15:20:22+00:00

cop out: my perfect relationship is my marriage, because I put in the fucking work.

Diving further: Sex must be a priority. Mutual sense of humor, and politics. Tuned in to respective masculine/feminine energy, but relaxed with regards to socially prescribed gender roles. Pothead. Ability to tackles problems as a team. Mutual expectation for emotional resiliency. Family minded, but not at the expense of individuality. Fan of wrestling. Doesn't mind, or at least tolerates my spergy INTP traits.

sex: female.

OurThrownAwayDreams · 2017-06-06T16:32:09+00:00

man here,

not asking for a lot:

someone who finds me attractive as i find her attractive
someone who is supportive of me as i am supportive of her
similar outlook on life and values

i dont care about her education, her job, her income, or her family.

cxj · 2017-06-06T19:55:57+00:00

Rough, tear inducing ass to mouth sex every night. Her feeding me grapes and mutton like the alpha Cesar I am. Her recruiting other girls for group sex with me, knowing I have other girls with a smile while she is locked in a chastity belt only I have the key to.

Kerb_Poet · 2017-06-07T00:31:02+00:00

We find each other attractive
We go on adventures together, but we can make the every day an adventure
Have sex about as much as we'd like
We can laugh together
We can inspire each other
We find each other interesting, whether she's giving me a we perspective on philosophy, a TV show, or just what she did with her day
No kids
Seriously, no kids
Trusts me and isn't jealous, and vice versa
Is willing to make the relationship work even when it isn't at it's best
We agree on the big things, i.e. there's no Heaven and #JC4PM
No desire to settle in any particular place
She's a strong contender for my best mate
Doesn't hate my close family or close friends

Princeso_Bubblegum · 2017-06-06T13:30:06+00:00

I need someone who likes me to touch them.

I am a very physical person, I like to touch things all the time, I'm one of those weirdos who loves the fidget spinner crap. In my last relationship, and my current... 'friends with benefits' thing I have going on, there is the issue that I keep on ending up with people who are socially and materially anxious, my ex for example didn't like to be kissed in public.

If I am not with a person who likes me to touch them, I end up feeling self concious myself, and this results in me exponentiating the clingyiness which ends up pushing them away.

Title	What's your idea of the perfect relationship?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	6
Comments	171
Date	June 6, 2017 10:15 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6fkvgj/whats_your_idea_of_the_perfect_relationship/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whats-your-idea-of-the-perfect-relationship.267736 https://theredarchive.com/post/267736

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