Q4Men: do you want to cheat on your wife? Is monogamy difficult?

bonerdude420 · 2017-04-23T05:06:02+00:00

You can live whatever life you want, but you can't live all the different lives you want.

I chose to be married, and have a great life, but part of that choice includes sacrificing something else which I want. I wouldn't cheat, but of course I am still attracted and tempted by girls when they show interest in me.

youcantdenythat · 2017-04-23T13:24:22+00:00

some people like to cheat, men and women. just gotta find one who doesn't

wtknight · 2017-04-23T14:34:30+00:00

Some men are potential cheaters, some are not. I've never wanted to cheat on my wife. If he respects and loves you enough, he'll never consider cheating.

despisedlove2 · 2017-04-23T05:36:09+00:00

Never cheated on my ex wife. Had the urge a couple of times, but at that time, things were very rough.

bala-key · 2017-04-23T06:19:50+00:00

is if I marry a man will he resent me for only being one person? Is he going to desperately wish to cheat on me? Is monogamy too boring for men?

There is a"hunting instinct" in men. This cannot be denied.

Whether he will act on it, is a different question .

If you treat him well, it's less likely to happen.

basebool · 2017-04-23T08:08:40+00:00

Nope, I don't think monogamy is really harder on men than it is on women. Do you want to cheat? Just go by that answer.

Wallstreet3 · 2017-04-23T05:28:05+00:00

A lot of my friends and relatives, including older relatives who were born before the 1950s discussed the affairs that men had. And an interesting common factor emerged. The men who cheated were approached by their affair partner...

Effervesser · 2017-04-23T11:40:42+00:00

Personally, I don't want to cheat. I want to put my penis in other women but that'smore of an acknowledgement that hot women didn't stop existing after I got married. I'm not resentful in any way. that said me and my wife have had MMF and MFF threesomes and messed around a bit with couples so I'm not exactly the right demographic for this question. If a girl is down for casual sex with a married guy (I'm upfront about being married in those situations) its just my wife's permission away.

[deleted] · 2017-04-23T22:19:12+00:00

Resisting cheating is not like childbirth.

Aaren_Augustine · 2017-04-23T07:49:02+00:00

You are missing the context of both parties acting shitty for years. Monogamy is not difficult. Being unattractive is difficult.

Is monogamy too boring for men?

You can look at RPWives or RPWomen; their advice is pretty damn simple. Don't nag. Be open for sex. Be enthusiastic when having sex.

monogamy is easy when you are attractive in action and voice

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gasparddelanuit · 2017-04-23T13:34:16+00:00

Fortunately, I don't have a wife and don't intend on getting one. Nevertheless, if I had one, I would consider it a sacrifice to formally give up the prospect of all other women.

Men do like variety and are built for it, so monogamy is never easy and is evidently not natural.

JustRuss79 · 2017-04-23T18:08:41+00:00

Qualifier: ADHD means you lose interest or get bored more quickly sometimes so my thoughts with a grain of salt.

As long as there is not an abrupt change in the sexual dynamic between man and woman, men can pretty easily stay monogamous. However if she starts withholding yes, men want to cheat. The fact that more do not is really something they should be praised for in those situations. Base instinct would have me and many men I know moving on after 2 or 3 years max if they are able to attract a new, younger, or more attractive mate for themselves. If kids are involved and the men actually act like Dads then that ALSO makes it much easier not to stray.

No kids and a wife that is withholding sex (even for medical reasons) makes it very easy to at least think about cheating.

I have been cheated on by a wife, and I cheated on a wife. I think it is more important to talk about these things and end the marriage or open it up if you cannot live with the way things are. I do not like cheating and I hate myself for doing it the wrong way to my second wife. But I'm honest with myself, I was unhappy and should have ended the marriage not cheated.

I'm much happier being divorced, but I got custody of my kids so that has something to do with it. We have a very amicable relationship now despite how we broke up and she admits she was not in the best emotional shape at the time and has been going to therapy for years since then. My oldest daughter lives with her now by all of our mutual choice and my youngest still lives with me.

IIHotelYorba · 2017-04-24T00:00:26+00:00

I have a very dim view of monogamy. It always seems to become a useless burden. I think most men will eventually have some level of resentment of the relationship, but most won't cheat out of fear.

I'm a big proponent of finding a bi girl you can do threesomes with, if you are the LTR type.

Entropy-7 · 2017-04-24T05:32:40+00:00

I am planning a marriage and the HUGE issue that is coming down the pipe is the question of threesomes. As it stands, she says she won't share me. She will come around.

Cho_Assmilk · 2017-04-24T09:18:43+00:00

Of all married men who cheat, I'll bet the % who get regular pussy at home is low.

SeemedGood · 2017-04-24T09:19:05+00:00

It's difficult because our natural optimal sexual strategy is to bed as many women as we can. Monogamous sexual relationships are a direct contrast to the optimization of our sexual strategy.

We can do it, but it takes a lot of work and the subsequent expansion of one's conscious will. For obvious reasons, the more attractive one is to women, the more difficult monogamy will be for the man.

And that creates a problem for women because the less attractive a man is to women the more difficult monogamy will be for her. Women cheat on husbands/boyfriends a lot too, but rather than being based on a strategy of optimizing partner quantity, they cheat to optimize partner quality. Women are hypergamous, so when something better comes along they get tempted and the more better he is the more tempted they will be.

OurThrownAwayDreams · 2017-04-25T12:04:55+00:00

Women are as picky as the options she has. Men are as faithful as the options he has.

This will largely depend on what kind of man you look for. If you go after a very attractive man who has a lot of options (this is unusual for average men), then you can bet he may not be as faithful as say a less attractive men who never get much attentions from women.

Look for men with principles and a strong character. Usually those men practice self restraint if cheating is against their principles. It may seem hard and rare nowadays but there are still plenty of men out there like that. He may not be six feet tall, dark and handsome, or make six figures, but character is forever. Avoid men who hold relativistic views on morals, because those are red flags of men who will hamster away and justify cheating and affairs.

LeaderOfGamergate · 2017-04-23T12:41:22+00:00

It depends, what's your sexual history like? How many past guys have you slept with? If you've slept with 10 guys in the past, and he's a virgin or only slept with 1 woman, he's going to be bitter and sour about that, and will probably be more liable to cheat to even out the ratio.

If you're both on equal grounds, he's less likely to want to cheat.

darla10 · 2017-04-23T12:57:28+00:00

These men don't want to cheat; they simply experiencing attraction to another woman. However, they are also showing understanding that in their context that would become cheating. I think most people do not deliberately choose to cheat, but instead choose to have sex with another person that they are attracted to. Cheating is the consequence of their choice, not their intent, and most men show a pretty clear understanding.

prodigy2throw · 2017-04-23T07:32:54+00:00

A man fucking a random slut isn't cheating. If a man provides, gives affection and provides for another woman behind his wife's and family's back then it's cheating.

Title	Q4Men: do you want to cheat on your wife? Is monogamy difficult?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	7
Comments	191
Date	April 23, 2017 5:00 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/670kgm/q4men_do_you_want_to_cheat_on_your_wife_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4men-do-you-want-to-cheat-on-your-wife-is.268665 https://theredarchive.com/post/268665

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