Why would a high N-count woman want a low N-count man anyway?

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-01-06T06:38:05+00:00

Allegedly for the bux? Isn't that the theory?

lollygagyo · 2017-01-06T06:14:21+00:00

why on Earth would you even want that as a high N-count person. They get so caught up on being shamed for their sexuality and being denied or discriminated against for a relationship because of their past that they never sit down and ask themselves why the hell they would want to be with someone who has a way lower N-count than them? Why would you want to have to hide your past? Why would you want to have to tell lies and hope your partner doesn't find out? Why would you want to be with someone who isn't on the same wavelength with you sexually

The answer? I don't. I never have. RPers are just egotistical and think everyone wants to date them -- I can point out that a preference is irrational and/or hypocritical without it being about my dating prospects.

People are entitled to their preferences, it is what it is and yes, it does likely signal that someone views sex in a different way to me or is less ''exploratory'' than me if their partner count is very low.

I do not and never have hidden my past, my sexual openness. I've never lied. I might, if I ever have to date in the future, temporarily lie about the escort thing until I can figure out whether or not someone is trustworthy and sane enough to be told that. But (like all newlyweds!) I believe that I will not be getting divorced and that if I do I'll be too devastated to date anyone else and will just be a miserable alpha widow forever.

That discrepancy would rear it's ugly head throughout the relationship over and over again.

This really does happen. Doesn't matter whether the high-n and low-n partners are men or women. I was insecure af when I was with my ex-fiancee, because I was a virgin and he'd gotten around (he was older than me). It definitely created issues in our relationship (and those issues were definitely there, in hindsight, because my lack of experience made me really insecure and needlessly jealous -- not because he was a disloyal partner).

GridReXX · 2017-01-06T16:13:13+00:00

I'm laughing at the women thinking that the "Beta Bux" part of AFBB is "golddigging".

It's not. The "Bux" part of AFBB isn't money. It's comfort and commitment. It was called "beta bux" because bux rhymes with fux and it's clever.

Women who are going for BB men are not golddiggers. They're just following a strategy designed to get them commitment, comfort, stability, and wife status, and with that comes access to whatever resources the guy has. It's not about getting lots of money.

shogunofsarcasm · 2017-01-06T05:23:57+00:00

I am cool with guys if they are cool with me.

You kind of cement my feelings in the middle of your post.

They get so caught up on being shamed for their sexuality and being denied or discriminated against for a relationship because of their past that they never sit down and ask themselves why the hell they would want to be with someone who has a way lower N-count than them? Why would you want to have to hide your past? Why would you want to have to tell lies and hope your partner doesn't find out? Why would you want to be with someone who isn't on the same wavelength with you sexually or nowhere near you in terms of sexual experience.

I don't want to have to lie or hide things because I like honesty between partners. In this way I tend to only date or fwb with guys who don't care enough to ask or guys who don't get grossed out by it.

I also want to be compatible sexually with a partner. This is often easy with a less experienced guy because he will at least try the things I like. They are also easy to teach. I save certain things for ltrs because I need to know they are serious but really that has nothing to do with experience level.

If our sexual urges line up (as in amount wanted) I don't see why it would be a big deal. If the guy is inexperienced because he doesn't enjoy sex at all it probably wouldn't work.

sublimemongrel · 2017-01-06T15:43:23+00:00

I don't see a ton of women arguing they necessarily want super low n count men, but personally I just want someone whose n count is similar (and whose values on sex are compatible) with mine.

ContrarianZ · 2017-01-06T06:41:08+00:00

I think women are more likely to be ambivalent about a man's low n-count because it's not a very reliable predictor of sexual compatibility for men. A high n-count obviously speaks for itself, but a low doesn't necessarily mean the guy has conservative sex values. Since men typically chase women, a low n-count man could just indicate hes not as aggressive or ambitious as his peers.

[deleted] · 2017-01-06T16:57:29+00:00

I don't think high-count women want low-count men in theory, just they often happen to fall for one in their commitment phase. They sometimes idealize them as more pure and less scuzzy.

Electra_Cute · 2017-01-06T04:52:55+00:00

Men don't want women with high N-counts for a number of reasons

I keep reading this everywhere on here, is it actually true?

Especially chicks with 20 sexual partners or more. No guy (except blue pillers) want to marry a "slut". It is what it is. That's how most guys feel

Do you have anything to establish this assertion?

Which brings me to my next point, why on Earth would you even want that as a high N-count person[?]

Because they find them attractive and are interested in them, I do not think someone's attractiveness level goes down based on their partner count.

I know I may sound unlettered about those two aforementioned points, but I would love some evidence of them.

Merger-Arbitrage · 2017-01-06T06:47:15+00:00

They want somebody with similar amounts of sexual experience as them. If they only had sex with 5 or 6 women, why would they want a woman that's been with 40 guys? Not even calling her a slut here but, in terms of sexual maturity, she's way beyond this dude.

Let's start by questioning these dubious statements. Does this one really need dissecting? Or maybe I'm misunderstanding "maturity" ...? Experience =/= maturity, for what it's worth.

Someone with n=1 might have had sex 500 times (LTR person) Someone with n=20 might have had sex only 20 times (ONSstar)

I'm willing to wager that n-count and sexual experience correlation is almost zero. Intimacy matters are something else.

Why would you want to have to hide your past? Why would you want to have to tell lies and hope your partner doesn't find out? Why would you want to be with someone who isn't on the same wavelength with you sexually or nowhere near you in terms of sexual experience.

You keep flip-flopping between seemingly positive and negative attributes of high n-count. So is it a bad thing or good thing?

The sexual experience component doesn't really apply, which you keep bringing up, for reasons shown above.

Electra_Cute · 2017-01-06T05:18:50+00:00

Oh god. Again with the whore talk.

According to most bloopers I'm a high N count guy(30-40).

If you have a high N count then I'm the type of guy you'll end up with, and bloopers seem to hate me. So there's your answer.

ZombieWifeFoCo · 2017-01-07T04:48:13+00:00

I think most adults who know how the world works give no effs about N counts. Men who are obsessed with this in women....my only guess is that there are severe social challenges there and a lack of confidence. The fact that TRP men actually turn this sort of thing into part of a theorem for relationships (with a straight face) speaks volumes.

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Candy_Kittens · 2017-01-06T05:07:49+00:00

I fully agree with your argument.

Candy_Kittens · 2017-01-06T09:30:22+00:00

high n count people should be with other high n count people where they can be awesome together.

whilst the low n count people like me should hang our heads in shame and be grateful that we are allowed to even exist on this planet.

oh high n count people you are glory, you are life! we bow down to your greatness! please forgive us for existing.

BluePiller1776 · 2017-01-06T15:03:01+00:00

I have had more than 20 sexual partners so if a women told me she had more than 20 sexual partners who am I to judge?

goatismycopilot · 2017-01-06T16:44:00+00:00

I imagine the ideal and not saying it always happens that way is for marriage/Ltr people would like to end up with a partner with a similar N count. Women though are gonna be judged more harshly as being an unsuitable marital partner if they either lie about N count or have a higher one. If they are a virgin, cool, if they had one partner cool everything else from what I have read on various PPD threads is muddy water.

Boobear3 · 2017-01-07T00:49:44+00:00

Not sure, but I do know this now: after being harassed by a nutty ex about my n count being higher than 5, I now know to lie and pretend I only had sex with the 4 men that I seriously dated. There is virtually no evidence that I had sex with over 5 men, because I'm a quiet person who hardly even goes out and don't have hundreds of pictures of me partying.

So good job, trps. By claiming woman over a certain count are useless, you're just persuading more women to lie.

mistresswhat · 2017-01-07T17:33:12+00:00

Why would you want to have to hide your past? Why would you want to have to tell lies and hope your partner doesn't find out?

Not all low n-count men are all that uncomfortable with sexually experienced women. The ones who are mature, secure in themselves, not sexist, and not full of a bunch of strange ideas about sex that would make me incompatible with them regardless of their sexual history aren't gonna care. I've never hidden my history from anyone and I don't intend to start. I'm scaring away the boring prudes intentionally, here.

Why would you want to be with someone who isn't on the same wavelength with you sexually or nowhere near you in terms of sexual experience.

Possibly more of an issue, but also pretty dependent on context. Unlike a lot of people here, I don't believe that number of sexual partners tells you all that much about anything. If he's had a couple of long term monogamous relationships that were at least somewhat experimental, he might not be all that far behind. And even if he is that far behind, it might be fun to teach him.

I'd probably prefer someone with a similar history to mine, but it's a very slight preference and doesn't make a huge difference to me.

Title	Why would a high N-count woman want a low N-count man anyway?
Author	Xander_DB
Upvotes	7
Comments	192
Date	January 6, 2017 4:43 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5mblh1/why_would_a_high_ncount_woman_want_a_low_ncount/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-would-a-high-n-count-woman-want-a-low-n-count.270801 https://theredarchive.com/post/270801

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