Q4Women: If you had a friend that was an incel, would you have sex with him out of courtesy to make him feel better?

dragoness_leclerq · 2016-10-13T04:55:15+00:00

Nope. Not a chance.

If you wouldn't, explain why you would refuse to have sex with your incel friend? Like what would make you not want to do this?

Because I'm not in the habit of fucking guys I'm not sexually attracted to nor am I running a pussy charity.

Elsanahai · 2016-10-13T04:54:10+00:00

GridReXX · 2016-10-13T12:53:26+00:00

I swear this happened on Grey's Anatomy.

Grey had sex with George. I forgot how they ended up there. George was the super feminine beta niceguy who was hopelessly in love with her. She viewed him as her best pal.

She literally started crying midway through for a host of reasons (she was already sad about Derrick), but also she's mainly crying because she can't believe she let herself get this emotionally vulnerable to have sex with someone she doesn't even like or desire at all.

It was just a gut wrenching scene because you feel bad for both of them. Especially George. Because this was his big moment with Grey and it felt disgusting. His self esteem plummeted after. Didn't help that Grey was with Derrick later and happy as ever.

So no, eww. I'm not having sex with an incel friend. Pity sex is sad sex.

ferretsRfantastic · 2016-10-13T06:18:07+00:00

haha fuuuck no

Most incel are incel for a reason and its not even necessarily out of looks. One of my coworkers hasn't had sex in 7 years and I would never sleep with him. Cool dude but not my type and I'm not going to sacrifice my memories and time just to make this guy feel better through sex. I'd rather just buy him a beer and call it a day/night

wombatinaburrow · 2016-10-13T06:30:32+00:00

And risk getting slut shamed? No thanks.

madscientistlove · 2016-10-13T05:09:48+00:00

Lolno.

They "why" is because I'm not into sex with people I don't find attractive. There is no "but what if you find him attractive" hypothetical here. If I found him attractive, we'd have already had sex.

sublimemongrel · 2016-10-13T04:52:03+00:00

SpaceWhiskey · 2016-10-13T05:04:13+00:00

It depends on how likely it would be for him to get clingy afterwards. It would entirely depend on the guy. If he was legit chill and I was at least a little bit attracted to him and I felt we could still be friends after, sure.

But honestly, a guy who goes so far to identify as incel would probably get super clingy after and in that case I'd abstain.

mattstreet · 2016-10-13T14:00:19+00:00

After reading your comments, you're the stupidest incel I've "met", I wonder if that's half your problem.

Shazoa · 2016-10-13T10:36:12+00:00

Generally people have sex because they want to. There's no reason to have sex with someone out of pity, and it could actually be an unpleasant experience for that woman.

Someone's right to bodily autonomy trumps another's desire for physical intimacy anyway.

oilpainter777 · 2016-10-13T05:02:47+00:00

nope! no need. at best, i'd try to find him someone else that actually suited him. as madscientistlove said... if he was someone i was attracted to and at all interested in sleeping with, i would have (given i was single anyway).

meltof · 2016-10-13T18:23:40+00:00

Okay, OP. Let's turn the tables on you in another way. Let's say this woman had never had sex at 30 and felt miserable and unloved. Would you spare just a measly hour of your time to make love to her, regardless of being attracted to her?

ComradeAri · 2016-10-13T18:27:23+00:00

Bro.

Why does it matter to you at all?

According to incel law, prostitution doesn't help because the prostitute isn't actually attracted to you—incels actually just need real love and affection, blah blah blah. With that in mind, why would do you demand pity sex if they're not attracted to you?

wuboo · 2016-10-13T05:36:25+00:00

No. I wouldn't do it even if his mother just died.

rulenumber303 · 2016-10-13T06:46:15+00:00

No. I'm in a monogamous relationship.

If I wasn't in a monogamous relationship all my usual criteria would still apply... he needs to be someone I could see myself possibly being in a LTR and having kids with. I've got nothing against casual sex but believe that life makes odd things happen sometimes and too many people have ended up in LTRs with casual flings for me to disregard that possibility even if I thoroughly intend it just to be a ONS. Though give it a few years and that "having kids with" bit will become irrelevant.

Summerlycoris · 2016-10-13T12:38:18+00:00

No, because forcing yourself to do something tends to be fairly obvious. It'd be clear to him that it's not done out of romantic love or attraction and that it was only for pity. That doesn't sound like it'd improve his self esteem, but just make it worse.

Either that or he wouldn't cotton-on to what was happening, and get super clingy and think it'd happen again. Heck, this is why I think most incel ideas of "If you have sex with us once we'll be good forever" is a (perhaps unintentional) lie. They'd want to have sex again, and keep bugging the person who had sex with them. They can try to say it'd only be a one off thing, but it wouldn't be.

foxytheterrorterrier · 2016-10-13T12:49:05+00:00

If he was my friend I would not do the disservice of teaching him that sex can solve all his problems

[deleted] · 2016-10-13T18:14:42+00:00

I wouldn't sleep with an incel friend because it wouldn't really help him or give him happiness. In fact, he might feel worse after it was over.

It wouldn't raise his self-esteem because he'd know it was pity sex and not motivated by my genuine attraction. Therefore, it wouldn't given him the validation he really wanted that he was an attractive and sexy person.

wynterpetals · 2016-10-13T21:23:57+00:00

No. That's not common courtesy. That's gross.

caerul · 2016-10-13T12:08:44+00:00

NOPE LOL

goatismycopilot · 2016-10-13T12:50:46+00:00

MisgenderedCactus · 2016-10-13T15:33:21+00:00

If he was actually a good friend I cared about, yes of course. I'm demisexual, and don't want to share sex with someone until I love them on some level.

I do hope that merely having sex with me wouldn't raise their self-esteem that much though...It's not very healthy to base it purely on others.

oilpainter777 · 2016-10-13T05:33:29+00:00

If he actually wanted a relationship and we had mutual attraction there, I might. It depends on how it happened, if it was a natural moment like spending time together and it leads to sex, IDK maybe? Otherwise, I would not feel comfortable doing that. It would change the friendship to me and I'd feel bad about it. I could not remain just friends after that. I'd rather him go for someone else. I don't see how it would improve his self esteem much to have his female friend feel so bad for him that she offers sex because he can't get it from another girl. That feels along the same lines as using a hooker or something, imo. For his sake and my own, if I cared about him I'd think he could do better than pity sex. Plus I'd feel hurt that that is all he wanted from me. So in most circumstances, no.

anitapk · 2016-10-13T07:27:12+00:00

God no. He's probably incel because he in unattractive and socially awkward and even if he weren't his complete lack of abundance mentality would very likely make him extremely clingy.

As a friend if anything I should teach him to earn things and not expect them for free lol

oilpainter777 · 2016-10-13T15:22:51+00:00

No, but I'd let him buy me sushi dinners.

Iylivarae · 2016-10-13T20:06:08+00:00

Nope. Social interactions tend to do something to you, so I choose to - in private - only have social interactions that I find comfortable. Having sex with someone I'm not attracted to doesn't qualify for that.

foreignergrl · 2016-10-13T21:38:32+00:00

I would, but there's a condition: we have to cuddle after. I'm including a very NSFW, provocative picture of myself for your appreciation. Let's meet up, I'm horny as shit.

Very_Drunk_Squid · 2016-10-14T04:15:55+00:00

Nope! There is a 99.999% chance that they are incel for a good reason on their part

shannibearstar · 2016-10-16T22:54:36+00:00

No. I have a boyfriend for one. And even if I was single, I wouldnt sleep with someone I wasnt attracted to.

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[deleted] · 2016-10-13T14:26:29+00:00

If you wouldn't, explain why you would refuse to have sex with your incel friend? Like what would make you not want to do this?

You've got to be a troll.

ozymandias271 · 2016-10-13T16:20:50+00:00

I think that for most incels fucking someone who doesn't want to have sex with them is only going to make their condition worse.

These days I only fuck incels if I'm willing to put in the effort to leave them better than I found them.

kennedyz · 2016-10-13T21:44:57+00:00

I MIGHT but it would be a slim chance, and depend on various conditions like how attractive I find my friend, whether or not I respect him as a person, how likely he is to start begging me for sex every time I see him, etc.

shogunofsarcasm · 2016-10-14T00:56:13+00:00

Not a chance, unless I was actually attracted to them and wanted to see where it'd go

ShrewdBugger · 2016-10-15T02:57:26+00:00

Again with the sex. Why do you make sex into this ultimate achievement? In my experience, sex is the easiest part of a relationship.

If only you were asking about the obvious challenge of merging a pair of contrasting personalities coming from diverse backgrounds.

When you make it all about sex, you cheapen the whole affair. Human beings, male or female, are highly complex creatures, not sex dolls.

hornypinecone · 2016-10-15T19:01:24+00:00

I doubt that would much improve his self esteem or happiness long term. Pity won't do that, he does. If anything it would probably just damage the women's.

Furthermore, if the woman did do it out of pity, maybe the guy would misconstrue. Maybe he thinks she's into him, and that he's got a shot. It's not unlikely for someone with low self esteem to sacrifice what little of it he has to try and get this girl. In that case, I think it would damage his self esteem long term.

edit: I'm new here, what's an incel?

DrunkGirl69 · 2016-10-13T05:02:47+00:00

Yeah why not?

[deleted] · 2016-10-13T06:02:08+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Q4Women: If you had a friend that was an incel, would you have sex with him out of courtesy to make him feel better?
Author	oilpainter777
Upvotes	0
Comments	295
Date	October 13, 2016 4:50 AM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/578le3/q4women_if_you_had_a_friend_that_was_an_incel/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4women-if-you-had-a-friend-that-was-an-incel.272446 https://theredarchive.com/post/272446

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