For those that care about n-count, does it matter how each notch was acquired?

Mr_Smoogs · 2019-09-30T17:59:01+00:00

https://www.bustle.com/articles/97433-more-women-than-men-care-about-a-new-partners-sexual-history-says-new-study-and-over

More women than men care about a new partners sexual history, actually. But it matters for many reasons. I would of course want to know if they ever cheated on an ex, for instance.

thjn · 2019-09-30T18:27:16+00:00

N-count is only indicative with outlier numbers like 0 or 1 on one end and maybe 30+ on the other. Everything in between I would consider a normal life including a mix of relationships and experiments.

In the end you want be sure you share the same sense for intimacy, connection and exclusivity.

wekacuck · 2019-09-30T19:38:05+00:00

I don't intellectually care about n-count. I probably do care about public reputation. Like I don't want to be embarassed which mostly probably means something archaic like I need to feel like I can "defend her honor". "How" does feed into that. I can't really give specifics though. There's like acceptable narratives and unacceptable narratives.

iamsachafierce · 2019-09-30T17:46:27+00:00

LTRs are fine, I really don't think about them.

Having a "slut phase" of finding yourself by racking up a 20+ body count? Not relationship material to me

wtknight · 2019-09-30T18:01:51+00:00

Yes definitely. I’d rather be with a woman who has N=5 from five relationships than one who has had N=2 from two casual sex encounters.

purplepilltiming · 2019-09-30T19:02:32+00:00

Moderation is best. Too many relationships means she doesn't learn from her past, too many notches means I would probably be too insecure to deal with her(so more on me and I don't care that I am insecure about it).

NockerJoe · 2019-09-30T17:59:38+00:00

Neither is great but having nothing but short term relationships that failed may be worse than the same number as NSA encounters. Because for the latter you wouldn't commit but may try now. For the former you keep trying and there's one common denominator.

escapethesolarsystem · 2019-09-30T22:37:03+00:00

Yes, a little bit. For example, a notch from a committed, long term relationship is going to be less of a problem than one from a drunken hookup. That being said, committed, long term relationships by their nature take time to develop, so a women prone to those instead of drunken hookups will have a lower n-count generally anyways.

jayval90 · 2019-10-01T01:23:28+00:00

I'm looking for an n-count of 0 (I'm a virgin myself), but I'd consider a 1 or 2 if it was not in an LTR.

I don't know where people get this idea that LTR sex doesn't have as many issues as meaningless sex. What if it's actually the opposite? My personal theory is that a person who has been in an LTR with benefits and then had that broken off suffer far more issues pertinent to our relationship (eg, there's a rut leading to break-up, trust issues, sex was definitely had more than once) than a single meaningless experience with sex that was immediately or almost immediately regretted.

darksoldierk · 2019-10-02T03:49:37+00:00

Yes. No-strings type situations say as much about her than the relationships.

You can only claim "trial and error" for so many things. The truth is this, a part of the fun with sex (at least for me) isn't really being with an "expert". It's about experimenting and having fun with it. I don't really want someone who's already done everything with other guys and knows exactly what she likes and doesn't like. So, yeah, all sexual encounters matter. Also, experience says that the higher the n-count, the less mentally stable the woman is.....so there's that.

mylifesux62 · 2019-09-30T18:23:38+00:00

A body count dont matter to me as much as how much casual sex the girl had in the past. The thing is that girls who have casual sex is not because they are horny and want to fuck like men, is something more about the mental aspect. So therefore she is not a good potential partner to me

NeedingAdvice86 · 2019-09-30T18:39:21+00:00

All I can say is if you are asking this question you haven't been around many high n-count women....

You might get lucky and find the 1 in 1,000,000 who isn't a damaged mentally fucked up shrew but I would not bet the house on it.....

They aren't as hard to spot as the PPD women want to scream...….and believe you me, if you have options YOU do not want these women in your life long term.

(Word of Note: PPD has a particular demographic of very high n-count women bitter about the realization that the wider community advice about high status quality guys not wife-ing up a slut was all too true...they should have chosen better...now this bitterness takes a couple of different tacts...on the one hand are the ones who come her to dump shit on guys who are struggling in figuring out the dating world or figuring out types of women and on the other hand is the one who comes here to Fakebook where they ended up.....marrying or dating a loser who they have to convince themselves isn't a loser by screeching to the internet his "awesomeness"....then it slips sometimes when one finds out things like the what "romantic gestures', their loser does to show his awesomeness and it is a sad thing like 'he left the jelly out on the counter for me to make myself a sandwich" or "he brought me home a coupon for a coffee at Dunkin Donuts". But notice in both of these cases, the underlying trait common to ALL high n-count women I have come across...an absolute distaste for men in general and sometimes outright hatred born of the reality that these women thought that trading sex for commitment would work but they were not high quality enough kept happening over and over again).

[deleted] · 2019-09-30T17:47:47+00:00

Say a girl has an n-count of ten, but only like 3-4 were no-strings type situations (ONS, FWB, etc), and the rest were relationships that lasted at least 6 months, maybe the majority were 1yr + ...does that make a difference?

If a girl had any no-strings partners in the past I imagine it would probably help matters if she and the guy also started off no-strings, to avoid the notion of some kind of hierarchy where some guys got it easy and others had to work for it, and he's put in the latter.

Directing towards men, because most chicks I know don't seem to care much until the number gets crazy high.

A lot do care if it's low doe

M e n a n d w o m e n a r e d I f f e r e n t

farttmistress · 2019-09-30T20:03:23+00:00

I really don’t mind a high n count too much unless it’s crazy numbers for her age...But...I know for a lot of guys it’s less about having dicks in her more about avoiding undesirable personality traits like compulsiveness, attachment issues, substance abuse, daddy issues, etc...

By the time you’ve been burned by one of these girls in your early 20’s, if you have any brains you’ll avoid seeing them as LTR material. They might call girls like this a “slut” but that’s just shorthand for “she’s a total mess.”

PadThai42 · 2019-09-30T20:20:02+00:00

It really depends on how it was acquired. If your n count grew from 5 to 20 in one summer then it’s a no. But if it’s 20 over the span of 30 years then it’s a non issue.

reluctantly_red · 2019-09-30T22:44:07+00:00

Yeah it matters. If she fucked a lot of guys because she likes sex that's fine. If she needed a new place to live and she fucked a guy who owns rental property to get an apartment and a guy who owns a pickup truck to move her stuff in then there's a problem. A high n-count is only a problem if she uses sex to manipulate guys.

bmt0019 · 2019-09-30T23:48:46+00:00

Yes, I care about n-count with regards to a long term relationships and it does not matter how she acquired it. Younger women (under 30) with a high # count do not seem interested in long term relationships in my experience.

Grek27 · 2019-10-01T06:54:42+00:00

If you're 24 and have fucked 20 guys or more....idc how it happened, I wouldn't ever seriously value you.

HostileErectile · 2019-10-01T11:24:47+00:00

Sure that will mean a lot.

If she has never had anything serious but also 30 partners. Then that.. so me personally is a red flag.

_derekhawkins · 2019-10-01T14:11:06+00:00

For starters 10? LMFAO anything more than 5 gets hard next

NiceGuyNumber4 · 2019-09-30T18:00:45+00:00

Yes. 10 LTRs is not 10 ONS is not 10 dudes at once. N Count helps determine if she's a slut, but it's not the end all be all.

Kos_-_Omak · 2019-09-30T19:32:49+00:00

If someone was trying to sell you a mattress and told you that only 10 people had jizzed on it, would it really make a difference to know that only 3-4 of them were random strangers who only jizzed on it once, and the rest were guys who slept on the mattress (and regularly jizzing all over it) almost every night for 6 months to a year?

CamoWoobie10000 · 2019-09-30T18:04:37+00:00

No it doesnt matter to me, if she has even KISSED a man before she is a worthless whore who is not wife material.

[deleted] · 2019-09-30T17:55:28+00:00

Yes. If she had a ONS and wants a relationship with me I expect a fuck on the 1st date or at least 2nd. Otherwise not interested. Now of course it depends, maybe she was drunk and had ONS. But then that's another red flag.

So yes, how it happened matters. Also it matters what guys she used to date in her LTR. Everything matters.

iLLprincipLeS · 2019-09-30T18:12:53+00:00

and the rest were relationships that lasted at least 6 months, maybe the majority were 1yr + ...does that make a difference?

There's a reason she had so many relationships that lasted only around one year. She's not LTR material.

And 1 ONS is too many.

the majority of humans learn by experience and trial-and-error

That's not an excuse for a woman to be a whore.

also expecting a super low n-count are shooting themselves in the foot

Wife with higher N count = higher divorce rate

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TheJim66 · 2019-09-30T18:48:28+00:00

That's not too high(in current year).To get to the numbers most men find off putting you would have to engage in casual sex or STRs.

jmitch88 · 2019-09-30T20:40:54+00:00

I find women way more concerned with ncount in the real world. Guys talk about it but among ourself in more of a comparing trophies kind of way. Women seem to look at it more negatively. I get why.

LTR’s in the count get a pass for the most part. Now if you have been active for 10yrs and have 10 LTR’s I’m wondering if you are incapable of being alone or a branch swinger. So red flags can come from LTR data.

There are too many variable to make an across the bored judgement. There is definitely a too high ncount. It just differs from person to person.

It’s like miles on a car. Two cars with 100k miles. One is two years old and the other is ten. Which car is better taken care of?

disposablepurplepill · 2019-09-30T21:35:26+00:00

Yes. Absolutely. I have a younger but close in age sister and had a "purple pill" type debate with her a few months back when I was visiting her and my niece. I framed an example where if a woman dated and married a series of men and they all, through no action of her own, fell ill and died just by happenstance, be it cancer, a car accident, whatever - and she had a high-n count, -other than the bad luck that follows her around, I'd not have an issue purusing a relationship with her all other things being equal.

The "why" is far more important than the number - however that theory is no where near how reality works. A woman who's n-count isn't due to avaricious promiscuity is so uncommon - if she exists at all - that it's barely a rounding error statistically and only a fool models their life around outliers.

merrill1400 · 2019-10-01T00:27:50+00:00

N count doesn't matter as much as the details and circumstances in which that count was achieved.

Which gets into some dicey territory, because a lot of people (especially women) don't want to divulge details. I told my fiance before we got married that I had slept with 8 girls including her, almost all LTR situations (a couple I dated for a few months tops). She told me her number was between 12 and 15 (if I remember correctly).

Now I did want to know few things: were any of these partners FWBs? (that would be an almost immediate disqualification for me, although some people don't care). Married guys (again, goodbye). Threesomes? (might be an issue for sure). Sexual assault (disqualified)?

Judging by my wife's character and behavior, I don't think the answer to any of those was "yes", but she never told me (she should have, but ...)

One night stands? It's bad, but it happens, and it isn't an immediate rule-out for me.

And like others have pointed out, 3 guys in one year isn't a problem. 3 guys in one night is another story.

[deleted] · 2019-10-01T17:36:56+00:00

As long as it wasn't rape, any and all rule of the Dick stacking test do apply

MDMCrab · 2019-10-03T23:22:56+00:00

For me, no. If she can make a relationship work, it's going to be lower by definition, right?

adool666 · 2019-09-30T18:00:21+00:00

LTRs are fine. One night stands and FWB situation makes her worse for relationships.

LotBuilder · 2019-09-30T19:18:54+00:00

I can remember which study it was but is said 3-9 sexual partners was the zone for most successful marriages. It’s enough to have some experience but not so much that you can’t pair bond. I think raw vs with a condom matters too that gets you digging into some details.

MuleFool42 · 2019-09-30T21:02:00+00:00

Most of the opinion that I've seen on n count is evolutionary biology/psychology in nature when it comes to men preferring a lower count in their partner.

Mostly, the male in a lot of primate species wants to know that he's protecting and rearing his own progeny and not some other male's kids. This seems to apply to a majority of men. Something about men's psychology attaches high promiscuity in women with a lack of faithfulness. Since 2000 the data is showing that 10 is the magic number when it comes to a marriage being successful or not - highest 5 year divorce rate ever. If the woman has more than 10 sexual partners, the probability of a successful marriage goes down, and get worse as her n number gets higher.

So there's something to the male instinct of avoiding women with higher n counts, at least for LTR viability. I think that there is less or no concern with a woman's n count if there is no intent of marriage or LTR.

If a guy is going to be providing for a family for 18-26 years, the data shows that he's better off committing to a woman with a lower n count.

I think it was the Institute for Family Studies that produced the data. They also look at religion as a factor, as in the relation between less people going to church and having more partners than previous generations and impact on divorce rates.

It's all correlation, not causation, but statistically speaking, one is better off with a partner (Men or Women) that has a lower number if you want higher probability of a successful marriage. Clearly there are other contributing factors on an individual level as well.

stats135 · 2019-09-30T22:19:15+00:00

If a woman has a high n-count the overall outcome would be the same. In both cases, my response is that she is good enough to fuck, but not LTR.

If a woman has 10+ n-count and they are all short term, Its likely that she give out sex freely (or at least the sex is cheap). In which case, I refuse to be the loser that pays for what others are getting for free.

If a woman to have n-count of 10+ and each of them was 1+yrs, then if you do the maths she has to be close to hitting the wall if she hasn't crashed through it already. Maybe I could over overlook the soon to be fading youth and looks if everything else is perfect. But for a woman to hit the wall AND be a used good, I can't find it in me to put in any effort for a relationship.

So a high n-count woman is either a slut or hitting the wall soon. Which one it is doesn't really matter at the end since my response to both is the same, that the woman isn't worth investing in.

Title	For those that care about n-count, does it matter how each notch was acquired?
Author	AnarchySoda
Upvotes	6
Comments	105
Date	September 30, 2019 5:43 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/dbf80h/for_those_that_care_about_ncount_does_it_matter/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/for-those-that-care-about-n-count-does-it-matter.286925 https://theredarchive.com/post/286925

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