I felt compelled to write this post for all of the single moms or women debating leaving a LVM/NVM (or being left by one).

Do not let becoming or being a single mom make you question your worth or feel less than! When I became a single mom a year ago after my LV Ex- Husband left myself and our three kids, I struggled with the feelings that if he wouldn't stay (even when I looked great, took care of him, and took on most of the responsibilities) how could another man possibly be interested? I bought into the lies reading comments from men on Reddit. Here are some of the things that have commonly been written about why single moms are less than and not appropriate to date/marry:

  1. The kids will always come first.

TRUTH- If you are a HVM and you want to have kids with a woman, whether they are your biological children or not, there will be times when both the mother and father have to put the kids first. If a man cannot understand this, he is inherently low value and would not make a good parent in any situation (the trash takes itself out).

  1. The woman is single for a reason (No man would leave his kids if she wasn't awful).

TRUTH- Again, women are being blamed for a man's faults here. If a man loved his children and the woman was truly unsafe/inappropriate for the children, then why would he leave his children in an unsafe situation? Also, if there are multiple kids why did he continue to have children with her if she was that bad?

  1. The woman made bad choices.

TRUTH- Women are again being blamed for being the parent that stayed. Women who have young children (and especially multiple young children) are not going to leave a man unless the situation is truly unfathomable/unsafe or bad. A woman who sees that something is unsafe etc, does what she needs to do to protect the kids and is making a GOOD decision. If the man left , why would a woman be responsible for a man being irresponsible/selfish/immature etc?

All this to say, I am now dating again after 10 months of counseling and moving to my home state. After reading lies on Reddit, it's been an extreme shock to see just how many men from twenties to sixties are all begging for the chance to take me out (in a relationship context not a casual one). These men are educated, have great professions and are solid. They do not care one bit that I have three children and that I am a single mom. They see an educated, attractive, stable, hard working and caring individual.

I know what I bring to the table and it's nothing less just because I happen to have children. Statistically, in my area the majority of women my age (33) also have children (and most aren't single). If a man in his thirties + wants to date and eventually marry his equal (without going for a much younger woman that hasn't had children yet), the majority of his dating prospects will have children (unless they are child-free and he also doesn't want children).

Ladies, don't ever question your value, whether you have children or are child-free. Your status does not change your value. My children aren't baggage and HVM don't see them that way.