I found out my entire marriage has been a lie at 53 years old.

Hey there. I have had a few people private message me and request me to post this here as it got taken down from some of the other forums.

Excuse me for any poor writing or poor wording. I’m tech savvy for my age to a point but I’m still pretty new to Internet forums and such.

My wife of 32 years just left me for another man. I found out she has cheated on me numerous times in the past 16 years. She told me she stopped loving me around 20 years ago and was basically just with me for my money and for a place to be. I never made her work. She was always a stay at home mom and even before and after that we always had a nice amount of money with my well paying job. So she never needed to work. I wanted to give her the best life possible. I got a lot of paid time off so we would vacation together as much as we could. I would also send her away on solo vacations whenever possible so she could get some fun time to herself. Where I recently learned she was having sex with other men. Sometimes even taking other men with her without telling me.

This all came out about 2 days ago and I haven’t felt the same since. My whole life has basically been a lie. I have been taking care of this woman for my whole life and she has been backstabbing me and double crossing me the whole time. I also found out she stole money from me numerous times when we were young before we were married. I used to trust her and not hide money or anything when she came over and she would take it any chance she got. I found out that one of my kids are not mine. My youngest son is some other guys that she doesn’t even know the name of. I do not know how to tell him or even if I should. She did have him DNA tested years ago. She just never told me until now. I did everything for her. Her life has been a relaxing slew of getting everything handed to her. I worked. I took care of the babies when I was home. I cooked. I cleaned. I did the dishes and the laundry. I never made her do a thing. She got to relax and watch Netlix or TV when I wasn’t home. Or fuck other men in our bed while the kids were at school. Or go out to eat with other men with my money. The past 2 or 3 years she has grown more cold towards me but I thought it was just a rough patch. She hasn’t shown appreciation for anything I’ve done for her in years. I’d come home and surprise her with flowers. I’d come and surprise her with tickets to another country for a vacation. She claims she’s been with a few guys a year for the past 16 years and she almost left me for one around 7 or 8 years ago but they didnt work out. She finally met him though. The guy she actually wants. She’s registered on dating sites. She’s done a whole bunch of shit behind my back. I trusted her. I never thought in a million years this would be her. I got fired from my job today because I have not shown up the past two days. So I lost my extremely well paying job and my wife is probably going to get most of my money and the house and everything during our divorce. When we bought our house she wanted to put it in her name because she felt like she accomplished something with a house and two cars in her name. Now I know why.

She cleared out one of our bank accounts when she left as well. Everything I worked for my life is just gone. I’m fucked. I’ve also recently gained about 80 pounds. I guess the old age finally caught up to me. I was fat before that but now I’m just obese. I can’t stop eating either. I thought I was going to live a happy end to my life with her and we’d be forever. Instead I’m going to die a broke, depressed, fat, mess. I don’t know what to do or where to go from here.

During the start of our relationship she did ask if we could be in an open relationship and I said no. She said that she respected that and I was who she truly wanted to be with so she wouldn’t do anything and I thought that was the end of it and that I could trust her. I was so so wrong.

There’s so many more evil things I’ve learned over the past few days that I can’t think about right now. She told me one time I actually came home to her and another guy fucking years and years ago and he hid in the closet til I went to the bathroom and left. I keep learning new things and maybe I’ll write more in the comments or make a update post. But I’ve basically accepted defeat here. She won. She used me for years and now has destroyed me. She’s going to get everything she wants out of me. She knows some pretty bad things about me and has threatened to tell people if I don’t comply with her orders. So I’m so screwed.

She said the spark died for her years ago. I suspected it was during the time around 20-22 years ago we fought a lot. She confirmed that. It was Probably our worst rough patch. I thought we’d recovered but only I did. She was just great at faking it all these years I guess. She manipulated me and used me and lied to me. I’m heartbroken. I feel the pain inside of my body. What do I do? I posted this somewhere else but apparently the rules do not match this post.

I also forgot to mention how I found out. Apparently she has been using fake names for contacts for the past few months as a couple months ago she was getting odd texts from her friend (or so she called him) and I confronted her and she told me she would stop talking to him. Well the other day her mom who died a month ago was texting and calling her so I went through her phone for the first time and found everything. I always trusted her so much. We had a huge fight when she got out of the shower that day and I have been slowly finding things out since.

It’s like something switched inside of her when I found out. Like I said she has been somewhat cold lately but we have still had good days. Once I found out it’s like she’s turned into a different person who is evil and mean and vile towards me now.

Quick update for you guys. I decided to call my boss and as I said in the comments he is an asshole and doesn’t deserve the position he is in. He told me he only left the voicemail saying I was fired so that I would pick up the phone. I explained the situation and he said I had better call next time but to come back to work Monday morning with a fresh head and a good attitude.

Another quick update for you guys. I have created a new post updating things further in this same forum so please read that as I have listened to your comments and taken your advice. I appreciate you all.