Fucking on the first tinder date.

Alright boys, it seems the sex gods are bestowing bounty upon my soul as of recently.

TL;DR •match with girl on Monday •plan coffee shop date on Thursday • meet girl at 8 •coffee shop closes and we're back at my place at 9 •9:45 she's riding me like she's in the PBR

So I'll cover a couple different topics in this field report. Everything from:

•Simple tinder opening

•Logistics of planning your date

• Knowing when to shut up

•Reading body language

•Watching her actions, not her words

•Getting past LMR/ASD

I took the liberty to really go into depth on this one for the new guys and Autists. You're welcome.

On Monday I match with this girl. 18, Bleach blonde, tall, and nice ass, studying pre-med, a solid HB7. We're call her "J."

Now I'm a firm believer that on tinder, cheesy pickup lines and name puns are for faggots. Every BPer out there is sending her the same bullshit line she's probably heard 1000 times that week. DON'T DO THIS. YOU WILL GET NOWHERE.

I send every girl I match with the same line. Its nice and simple, conveys sexual interest, and leaves her somewhere to pick the conversation up with. I don't have to make any effort trying to think of some dumb pun in hopes that I impress her with my wit and charm. (I leave that for in person)

So what's this magical line you ask?

"You're cute, I had to say hello."

What? Is this guy fucking serious? That's the dumbest shit Ive ever read.

Maybe. But "its not stupid if it works."

I will 95% of the time get a positive reply back. Why? 1. Its not a shitty pun, or cheesy pickup line. It conveys that I'm serious in getting to know her. 2. Right out of the gate it shows I have sexual interest in her and that I'm not here to just be her "friend." 3. Its a compliment, that they will most likely return back. Example: "thank you! You're pretty cute too, I had to say hi back!" Now you know where you stand in her mind.

This is where you seal the deal. Don't pussy foot around on this. This is tinder, she has Chads coming at her from every inch and corner, just waiting to be next on that carousel.

Don't try to get to know her or ask her questions. You can do this in person. Simply suggest the date and close!

"Let's grab drinks." "Let's grab some coffee." "Let's grab ice cream."

It doesn't matter what you do just get it done.

She agrees to the date. Hopefully, you have common sense, and you didn't ask her "so uhhhh where do you want to go?" You should already know this! Quoting a post on here about first dates "you should have everything planned, all she has to do is show up."

Now, getting into the logistics of the meet up. Make sure it's close to your place or hers. The next venue is always going to be one of those two. In this case I chose a little coffee shop not even a 1/4 mile from my apartment.

Time is important! J's schedule gave me two options around 1 in the afternoon or after 7 that night. If you want to be her new best friend and listen to her problems while you sip on your frozen pussiccino, you'll pick the day time date. If you want to get her back to your place and give her the best dick of her life you'll pick the night time date.

Why the night time? Because women are creatures of the night, this when they let loose, and put their inhibitions to the wind! I actually have no idea, but when the coffee shop closes at 9, it makes for a smooth segue back to your place, and if you played your cards right, a plausible deniability situation for her to work off of.

The date is set on Monday, we're meeting up on Thursday. Three whole days before I meet this girl, what do I do?! Did I text her cute smileys and say good morning and ask her how her day went everyday? FUCK NO. I did nothing. As you should do as well. Think of it like talking to the police without your lawyer present. You have nothing to gain, but everything to lose. DO NOT TALK TO HER. she sent me some snaps of her a couple of times and I ignored them. The only time I texted her was around 4 on Thursday to let her know we still have a date tonight. This will keep you and your personality a mystery only furthering her attraction before you even meet.

I show up fashionably late as with any date I go on, I'm playing the dread game and keeping them on their toes and giving their hamster a little workout before I even meet her. "Did he stand me up?" "Why isn't he here already?" "What an asshole."

Anyways, I meet J, give her a hug and kiss on the cheek. (kino escalating right off the bat) if you're an awkward person, maybe not start off with that, but I was feeling cocky and I figured I didn't have anything to lose. She was definitely surprised, a little rosy tint came across her face and she had already forgot that I was 10 minutes late.

I recently read a first date post that had the great tip of always sitting next to the girl and never across from them. So I took heed with that advice, as J sits down on one of the couches expecting me to sit in the chair across from her, I plop my ass down right next to her with my arm over the top. She didn't object or give me a shit test about it, so go ahead try that one on your next date.

Now, at first this girl was a little tricky. She seemed kinda shy and introverted as we talked about mundane bullshit. There would be a couple of instances of an awkward pause between subjects. If this happens to you, don't fumble about for a new topic or blabber about how awesome you are. Say nothing. Maintain eye contact with a smile. It will be awkward at first, but give it a couple seconds and she'll soon give you something to talk about. We eventually connect on the subject of art. I paint, she sketches. (I now have the ace up my sleeve for later)

At this time the coffee shop is giving us the last call and telling us we gotta leave soon. Now, I was still shaky on this girl. Maybe she's the two or three date type of girl, the innocent type, I might have to call it a night here and go home with my dick in my hand.

I throw a little Hail Mary out to see where her intentions lie, earlier she had told me she had to go home and study for a test the next day so I tell her. "Well, I suppose I'll let you go so you can get to studying for that test." She bounces back with "its only a German vocabulary test." She apparently was pretty fluent with German already so she was giving me the green light.

Remember that ace up my sleeve? That's right, the plausible deniability card. "Well, shit. I live right down the street want to come see my art?" You can use any excuse you want for this to work. "Hey, have you seen x movie/show? You gotta see it! I have it at my place." It's just a nice little work around for her ASD. She'll tell her friends "I went back to his place but only to see his art!" And she won't be seen as slut.

So we get back to my apartment I take her to my studio and I'm showing her my work. She's living out her hot art guy fantasy and is now beginning to size me up. The shy and introverted innocent girl is now giving me the fuck me eyes and getting closer to me. The conversation soon dies out. This is where you make the move, keep the conversation dead. I look her in the eyes for a couple seconds pull her in to kiss her and she practically jumps on me.

I throw her on the couch and we're making out, Shes grinding on me, I'm feeling up her shirt. Its all going smooth. Then that pesky LMR pops up. She stops me and says "let's just keep it light tonight it's only the first date" I give her a little smirk and say "yeah, I agree." And without skipping a beat go right back to where we left off. Don't be a bitch about it. Simply resume where you left off like nothing happened, she will do 1 of 2 things; 1. Tell you flat out no and end it or 2. Keep going along. This is where you need to watch her actions, not her words. Betas will give up after she brings in the LMR they'll white knight and "respect her feelings." She was grinding on me, breathing heavy, and still making out, I wasn't convinced she actually wanted to stop.

Side note: don't waste your time if she brings in the ASD/LMR more than twice. End it and try again next time or it could come off a little Rapey.

5 minutes later she starts blowing me, and god damn is this girl a pro. I haven't seen ball control like that since Ronaldo. Now in my head I figure if she's blowing me she's definitely going to fuck, so I go in for the kill one more time, she puts up a little resistance saying it isn't logical to fuck on the first date (this is simply a false statement women don't use logic they go off emotions.) and now Ive grown impatient. So I say "tell me now you don't want it." She comes back with "I want it." Boom. All systems go, Houston we have lift off!

I met this girl an hour ago off tinder and now she's getting plowed like snow in Chicago.

A lot of the lessons in this FR are basic 101 things Ive simply parroted in this post. I'm not bringing anything new to the table, but with my experience, it should give you good breakdown and lay out on how to combine multiple theories and have them play off each other to ultimately get you the lay.

My only advice is to simply go out and use the RP. Every time an excuse pops in your head, just say fuck it, and see where the RP will take you. Or, continue to make excuses like a BP beta. Your choice.