What is Borderline Personality Disorder? (BPD)

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December 14, 2018

This comes up every couple months and I see a lot guys misunderstanding BPD and thinking it's similar to depression or bipolar disorder.

It is so, so much worse.

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - The DSM Criteria

BPD is a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:

  • Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. [Not including suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5]
  • A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
  • Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
  • Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, promiscuous sex, eating disorders, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). [Again, not including suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5]
  • Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.
  • Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
  • Chronic feelings of emptiness.
  • Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
  • Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

One of the best ways I've heard it described is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.

When they're Dr. Jekyll, it might be the highest feeling to be with them. They will be extremely intense, energetic, outgoing, playful and very persuasive. It's intoxicating and can draw you in.

But when things turn to Mr. Hyde it's like a different person altogether. It will catch you off guard.

It's not mood swings. It's much worse.

It's periods of dissociation.

It's subconscious gas-lighting.

It's manipulations.

Catastrophizing, Chaos Manufacturing, Circular Conversations, Denial, Dependency, Fear of Abandonment, and so much more.

People close to them starting to question their own realities.

They remember conversations that never took place, threaten you with blackmail and demand recompense for crimes that have never been committed. They forget real conversations and facts and substitute them with their own versions of events or completely fabricated days- weeks- even months.

They lie to their friends about you, and they lie about their friends to you. They never tell the same story twice, and can never be nailed down on a single accounting of events.

If confronted with any inconsistencies in their story or behaviors they can and will become violent. Physically violent.

And god help you if you defend yourself. You will be arrested on the false claims they make.

They don't feel bad or guilt. They don't know they're dissociating. They believe in their world, even though it changes from minute to minute.

Absolutely do not think you can tame one. You can't.

Having BDP requires years of cognitive behavioral therapy. And that is just to function in society. They will never be healed. They are broken.

Do yourself a favor and learn this list: http://outofthefog.website/personality-disorders-1/2015/12/6/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd

Post Information
Title What is Borderline Personality Disorder? (BPD)
Author redpillschool
Upvotes 308
Comments 216
Date 14 December 2018 08:31 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit TheRedPill
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/53172
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/a68khe/what_is_borderline_personality_disorder_bpd/
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[–]andrewscool101168 points169 points  (55 children) | Copy

As someone who dated a girl with BPD once, take my advice. Don’t do it! It’s not worth it. Everything is lies.

[–]MrFiles95 points96 points  (28 children) | Copy

Bro bro bro bro if there anyone to listen to besides the OP listen to this guy

Under no circumstances should you ever ever ever ever consider getting close to one of these girls, EVER

I've been with one for a year, planning my escape right now. It won't be long before I'm a free man again

If yiu want more information the two GO TO books in this area of discussion are "stop walking on egg shells" and "I hate you don't leave me"

And for those of you who are with someone with it now, stop lying to yourself, quit justifying and remember even when things are really great and you are thinking you were crazy for ever thinking of leaving your girl. Don't you're not alone, get the fuck out of there.

These people will RUIN your life I am not exaggerating. I seriously feel like my actual life is at risk


Things will only get worse...

Much worse

[–]mrBatata36 points37 points  (16 children) | Copy

Fucking thank you, op, and the parent comment I was planning on hooking up with a diagnosed bpd chick. You guys probably saved my life.

[–]German883514 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

Man, I just realized that one chick I wanted to Fuck has BPD. It’s really cool to hang out with her, but she just melts your brain. Avery thing she tells never makes sense, and if you ask something she told you couple of days ago, she doesn’t remember or makes something up. I really started questioning my own psyche.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I dated a BPD and she left me to get married. She would constantly feed me lies of love and passion only to forget she ever said it the very next day. BPD girls are the definition of manipulative liars. please proceed with caution

[–]GoyInTheStripedPJs9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Never ever ever ever dude. I was almost ruined by a bpd chick, it is never fucking worth it. It's way worse even than you might think reading this.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I got ruined by a BPD chick... i'm going to post a field report thread soon once I get enough karma but BPD girls will destroy your inside...

[–]HeadingRed6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

There is a lot of good info at TRP and a dose of BS- it's the internet. Finding out about BPD was one of the most eye-opening moments of my years on r\trp. I can speak from experience here.

I've lived with one. You have no idea how it can be. No amount of mental toughness can prepare you for this. You will not have the stamina to engage in the level of verbal combat that will happen on a daily basis with no warning.

You will have trouble repeating or remembering what she says to you due to the fact that you yourself cannot string together sentences like she does. She will do some amazing things for you at first- you will think you finally found "the one". Huge acts of serivce, your friends and family will be amazed at how wonderful she is.

I had a year of the best sex - think that once-a-month sex every day. She remodeled my home. She organized all my shit. When we were around others the room lit up. Everything new she learned about me or we did together she would go off on how amazing it was and how amazing I was.

Then it starts - she starts remodeling your life. Starts with things at the outside - some of the things you do with some of the people you know she wants you to do less. And she is better at this than you - there will be enough truth to the words that is makes sense. So you skip a breakfast with friends or don't go out this time. You have your family over a little later or end the night a bit sooner.

For the first few times when you give in she goes back into "amazing mode" like it was in the beginning. After time it changes to simply not being combative. Once all the big items are out of the way and she runs out of things to be mad about she still seems to find them.

Your new job, car, cousin, anything - she will find things that you do and tell you you do this because you don't care about me, because you hate me, because you want me to leave, because you think I'm not good enough for you.

You will eventually live in a state of 24/7 vigilance and daily conflict. You will avoid TV shows and movies that you know will set her off. If something good happens to you will keep it to yourself. If someone you know screws up you will tell her because you know it makes her happy.

You famliy members she says she like the best will be the ones that live far away. Your friends she says she likes the best- they moved away.

The closer someone is to you and the more you enjoy them the worse she will think of them. Even your pets, car, etc. will eventually be thrown at you as "you care about xyz more than me, why don't you just . . ."

And when you get calm and she thinks you're going to end it out comes the crying. Her tales of abuse and abandoment. The horrible life she's had, how mean everyone was. Threats of self-harm.

And then through those tears she says how much she loves you. Tells you of the good times. Looks sincerely in your eyes and truly apologizes and says she will be better, she is sorry, she can't help it, you mean everything to her.

And it's good for a little while and you think finally I go through to her and it's going to be like the "old days". Until someone cuts her off in traffic or the store won't let her return something. Or her cousin doesn't "like" her FB post.

You can't fix this. If your not married with kids you need to go. The only way she can get better is to commit to serious therapy and probably go on meds. If she is not the mother of your children it does not make sense for you to live like this for the rest of your life.

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Rest of the dates

When I got my car, things started to get more personal. We would end up having more sex, twice a week, and could go to more places around the city. We traveled to many spots, and we always ended up eating food. It was very enjoyable for me, because I found someone I connected with, whom I thought was different.

After every date

After every date I would be told how much I was loved, how much fun she had, and how much she loved spending time with me. The first dates these seemed genuine, but the texts started to dwindle down. I figured she was comfortable with the relationship, and wanted to spend time on other stuff in her life. Fine with me.

Attending her classes

I attended her lectures with her in my free time, met her friends, and hanged out with her after class. I'd drive her to school at times, or I'd park my car and we'd take the bus there (that was another date idea)

Background on the girl

  • Dad hanged himself when she was young because mom left him, she saw it happen
  • Raised in foster care for rest of her life
  • Abused by foster parents, including molesting, torture (burning of hands), and rarely fed
  • Experience with CPS
  • Sister died from a disease
  • First boyfriend had cancer
  • Ghosted second boyfriend (he wanted to get married)
  • Current foster parents of 3 years

So I thought, shit happens, right? I like this girl, she likes me and seems not to controlling, so what? Meh. I put it behind me.


So more background on the girl. She is a Muslim, 20 years old, and her parents are conservative. Her 'step' dad is extremely rich. What ended up happening is, her parents found a marriage proposal for her. A guy overseas that was 5-6 years older than her and happened to be doing well for himself, two months into our relationship. I was completely dumbfounded that she was considering this. I thought we had something going for us? At this point we continued to date, but I think she put me in the FWB mindset. We would still have sex, I would be told everything I wanted to hear, and she would forget it the day later.

  • You are not financially secure
  • You are a kid
  • Your mind runs like a kid
  • You are not an adult
  • I want a real man
  • You need money, not just love

She took her flight today. Everything was a lie. Nothing made sense. I was gaslighted, engaged in doublethink, emotionally tortured for a whole month, barely passed my exams, and constantly told I was inferior to her parents decided fiance. I was told and fed lies upon mountains of lies and left stranded on top.

I know some of you are going to call me fucking retarded, but this was my first time being able to witness what would happened. I wanted to know for myself.

Our last conversation went as follow.

Me: I would always be here for you Sam

Her: I love him

Her: Not you

Her: I just liked you for sometime

Me: You never even met him

Me: You loved me the first time you met me

Her: I am starting to love him

Her: Especially our late night skype calls

Her: He is the one for me:

Her: He is fucking mature...

Her: You fucker

Her: I am getting engaged this friday

Her: There is gonna be a ceremony and shit

Me: Darling

Her: There is no going back now

Her: I want a financially secure guy who has his own identity

Her: I am gonna embrace my new life now with (redacted

)Her: I was never yours to begin with

There you have it. I acted like a bitch, rarely held my frame, was too immature, let her step all over me, and she left me to get engaged.

[–]MrFiles4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy

Youre welcome

Just check out RSDs new video on social media game

Thank me later

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[–]MrFiles1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The owner the balding ginger Owen cook

[–]saucierlol0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

By all means hook up with her because its very probably going to be the best sex you ll ever have. But save all convos and secretly record yourself while you are with her. Once you ve had your share of great sex (WARNING: dont get addicted), block her everywhere and remove her from your life completely and indefinitely. Never give her even a small clue about where you live.

[–]mugatucrazypills13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

"I'm just going to try a little crack cocaine but will stop when I've had enough fun."

[–]saucierlol3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

what's life without a bit of crack here and there

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

quit justifying and remember even when things are really great and you are thinking you were crazy for ever thinking of leaving your girl.

Damn, whenever I read about BPD chicks, one might get the impression that they're witches with actual magical powers.

[–]IAmMorganSturn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I wouldn't be surprised to find out they are tbh

[–]dragon9970 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My first GF had BPD, and I actually found out she was a practitioner of the occult after our extremely short relationship and tumultuous break-up (she left some weird shit where I was staying). Since then, I'm legit convinced BPD is some sort of demon.

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[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

BPD girls are like a toxic vortex that keeps sucking you back in. I urge anyone to seriously consider it before entering a relationship NO MATTER HOW GOOD YOU THINK THE GIRL IS

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

I've been with one for a year, planning my escape right now

If you're not living with her just meet in a public place and end it. Follow your own advice. Stop planning your escape and just leave.

Unless you're living with her, in which case it might need a bit of time.

[–]MrFiles3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've been living with her since day way and for everyone reading this

NO you can not break up with these types of girl in public. They needed to be ghost Ed get a head start on their ass(while they are working) move all your shit out(I've already did this once and kept the slightest but of contact and some fucking how convinced me back in wtf) and block her from EVERTHING. Make them not exist

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I dated a BPD and I got crushed. I am crushed and I feel like I have been stabbed multiple times. Never date a BPD girl , the gaslighting and doublethink isn't worth loosing your sanity for

[–]MilkMoney11130 points31 points  (0 children) | Copy

I dated a girl that fits all the descriptions above. She would lie about the absolute stupidest shit. I wouldn't even be mad at the fact she was lying, I was just mad at the fact she was lying over the dumbest shit for absolutely no reason.

[–]Knuzzy7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

> Everything is lies.

It absolutely is. I ignored absolutely every warning sign in the book, albeit I wasn't aware of TRP at the time I got with said female. Everything that helped me spot I was in a hole of no return:

  1. Alcoholic mother - for some time I was sceptical about her mothers drinking, as time went on I slowly realised that she was a heavy, heavy drinker. Doctors eventually sat her down and told her she was an alcoholic, however she refused this profusely and insisted she only drank for pleasure. Bullshit.
  2. Unhappy father - as time went on in my LTR, obviously I grew closer to her family and started spending time with them. During the time I spent with them, I did notice everyone seemed to be 'acting' as if everything was fine, but there was always an elephant in the room, y'know? As time went on her dad started talking to me and my ex-girlfriend about how unhappy he was, that he was finding difficulty enjoying life due to her mother always wanting to get slaughtered and never do anything else. I had sympathy for her dad, he was obviously beta bucks as he took her mother back multiple times throughout his childhood, she fucked him off to travel the world, but he still went back and had kids with her. When they had kids, she quit work immediately and insisted she would be a housewife.
  3. Poor social life - upon getting into the relationship, she started to see her friends less and less. I'm not sure if this is because they were angry at her for getting with me (back in the day, I had played games with quite a few people from her friendship group, getting nudes on snapchat etc) and this caused tension. Her best friend got cancer, and she cut off all contact with her over stupidity. She always struggled with friends, even throughout school I can remember her sitting alone and always seeming upset. Only thing that attracted me to her was the killer looks, honestly should've dodged the bullet a long time ago.

This is where she started trying to get me to fall out with friends, also started introducing 'rules' and had double standards. I looked past this at first, and found solutions. However, the inner me just came out in the end, and screamed fuck this, I cannot live under this shadow anymore, so I ended it.

3 years of my life wasted on one of these bitches. She flipped it on me, made me down as fuck, got me into a right state. 6 weeks out of the relationship, I've bedded a few girls and I'm having fun, feeling like my old self, feeling like it never happened.

Be warned, these girls are pure poison.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

BPD girls are awful. There is no way out once you get in. I;m trying to claw my way out and keep getting sucked back.... please avoid these girls for the love of god guys...........

[–]GoyInTheStripedPJs3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I came to make the exact same comment.

Been there, and DO NOT... FUCKING DO NOT DO IT EVER.

[–]-saltymangos-7 points8 points  (17 children) | Copy

what are some warning signs of BDP? Any stories or “tip offs” you wanna share that a girl may have BDP?

[–]andrewscool10127 points28 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lots of previous relationships, especially short ones. Very sexual, if not sex obsessed.

[–]TrainedHelplessness21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy

Girls moving way too fast. Sexualizes conversation on a first encounter. Wants to move in together within weeks. Poor boundaries. Describes a history of impulsive/reckless behaviour (sex, spending, eating, etc).

[–]Lost_soul955 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Always saying the right thing, has tons of male friends, uses people for things like car rides and such. Has a history of being abused. Wants you to put her on your social media. Constantly wants to have sex, yet complains when sex is inadequate, shames you for "just using her for sex." Try's to get you to open up about fetishes, so you can do weird freaky kinky shit with her. Those are just some. There are many. Basically, go with your gut feeling. If you think something is too good to be true.. It is.

[–]Eldudearino890 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

My ex said she didn't want to be my sex slave, and then proceeded to screw me??? Whatever it was a good time now she's gone. She found her new supply

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[–]-saltymangos-9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy

Don’t girls try and mirror you if they really like you? It’s a subconscious thing. It’s common for people to pick up on things that someone they like does. Ex: using some of their lingo, facial expressions, etc. It’s subconscious

[–]5Imperator_Red12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don’t girls try and mirror you if they really like you? It’s a subconscious thing.

Yes definitely. This is one way to judge how well a girl is into you. She'll start picking mimicking the way you say things, ways of looking at the world, etc.

[–]German88354 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I always said “wow, that’s horrible” in a sarcastic sence to I girl I later realized had bpd. I then noticed that she started saying the same thing, and once I asked her about that, she told me “dude I have always been saying that”!

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don’t girls try and mirror you if they really like you?

The comment you are replying to is deleted, so this is slightly out of context, but to reply to your point: it differs in degree.

Picking up a few phrases and words is normal. Trying things you like and liking them is normal. Pretending to be more similar than she is is bad.

"Oh, I broke my leg too!" when she didn't is deranged. Trying to one-up you is bad. Changing what she actually likes to fit in with you is terrible.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

okay the super attached part is very true but it can still be hard to detect

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

The truth is there are no signs until there is an INCIDENT of some sort

[–]2CasaDeFranco1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Mine told me she was BPD, I recall asking, why are you so bipolar, and she responds, I'm not bipolar I'm borderline silly. She was a solid 9 and good in bed but in the end, I dropped her for other plates without the drama.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

My BPD girl had the following traits:

  • Dad hanged himself in front of her, because her mom ran out with another guy, leaving her in foster care
  • Constantly tortured with boiling water, and rarely fed by prev foster parents
  • Molested by uncle
  • Lost only sister due to a disease
  • First boyfriend fucking got CANCER
  • Second boyfriend she left because he wanted to take her off and marry her
  • Lots and lots of physical abuse, cuts her arms, periodic sinusodal type mood swings, and constant lies
  • The natural ability to apply doublethink: I love you but I don't love you
  • Making you question reality, making YOURSELF start to doublethink

Like one commentor said, and I confirm from my FUCKING experience IT IS 1984 SHIT DEADASS.

Doublethink: the acceptance of or mental capacity to accept contrary opinions or beliefs at the same time, especially as a result of political indoctrination.


You think she loves you but you know she doesn't

She makes you hold two contradicting beliefs: "You are the only man for me", "You are not the man I want"

My BPD did the following. Her period came late I I told her to take the test. I told her she would need to get an abortion. I was told that "sperm is just sperm" and she would have sex with her fiance AND PRETEND IT WAS HIS KID (she said she got her period but I'm not sure anymore)

[–]QueenSlapFight1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Seconded. The last portion of the post sums it up perfectly:

Absolutely do not think you can tame one. You can't.

Having BDP requires years of cognitive behavioral therapy. And that is just to function in society. They will never be healed. They are broken.

[–]SavingMasculinity1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, don't.

Bitch stole my Mother's car...

[–]Chin-Balls54 points55 points  (8 children) | Copy

Just getting out of a 4 year relationship with a BPD now. Check my post history for how bad it can get. I got off easy compared to others.

Best sex I ever had. We connected on that so freakin well.

EDIT: You are actually doing all men a huge service by posting this. If someone had told me about BPD 4 years ago and how horrible it can get I wouldn't be in the mess I'm in now. Men need to be warned against this type of woman. I was naive, inexperienced, full of optimism and oneitis. I was prey. I thought it was love, then you think your crazy for it not being awesome all the time anymore. It can be a very insidious process. Essentially what the succubus was modeled after

[–]MrFiles24 points25 points  (3 children) | Copy

This right here!

It's like she is the wave and you are Stine and slowly over time you are eroded until you are an empty she'll

These people make you think you're the problem and you're not

They will take away your dreams and your life

I can NOT stress this enough.

Heed these men's warnings.

Do not get close to these women

IF you fuck them ALWAYS wrap up

You've been warned

[–]Chin-Balls18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy

Mine couldn't get pregnant. If she could have, I know for sure she would of gotten pregnant on purpose. She pushed marriage so god damn much that I get a pang of stress in my stomach now when I hear the world proposal. Every story about marriage or weddings, anytime a friend celebrated a milestone, I was reminded that I didn't love her because I didn't propose. She couldn't see how fucked up it was to guilt me about not proposing 72 hours after she packed up a bag and broke up for the 1000th time over the stupidest thing that 2 normal people could talk through in 5 mins or not even discuss at all.

The truth is, she wanted to bait and switch me. She wanted to change and act even worse towards me already. The facade couldn't hold that long. I got lucky as hell.

I'm a shell of the man I was but fuck it, I'm not going out this way. These chicks seriously feed off men and we can't say shit about it. Try to explain to some women how I'm a victim of abuse and 10 BPD's pop out of the bushes to explain how your the abuser.

[–]MrFiles7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

No one is going to argue with you my man

Glad you got out

[–]andrewscool10112 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy

Men need to be warned against this type of woman. I was naive, inexperienced, full of optimism and oneitis. I was prey.

Unfortunately as someone with Asperger’s, I was prey and struggled to understand it.

[–]Duchat10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy

From what I understand about aspbergers, it would be a BPD playing on easy mode. You're even more susceptible to believing what others say and taking it to heart too easily. Good for you for getting out.

[–]andrewscool1010 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You nailed it.

[–]someonesopinion69690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you'd still be in that mess, dont fucking kid yourself bro.

pussy is like crack to a nigga

[–]codingbuffnerd39 points40 points  (6 children) | Copy

Today is friday. I sit, poured myself a drink, smoked something nice. I've got time, I'll try to lay down some feelings/knowledge in what I am about to write and will keep it pretty short, because everyone having experience with a BPD chick will know what I went through, it's very similar and not worth repeating. Seriously. RUN THE FUCK AWAY. Even if you have just SOME! feelings that things are just not right.

I just read this thread and not the comments, but I already know what they'll say. Don't do it, it's not worth it. I had this knowledge prior to the meeting of said girl that almost destroyed me. Almost.

You see, I think I won't be alone, but I think most of the guys are pretty naive, even when they read and try to stick with what they read about. Everything changes when you meet the BPD chick.

She's like the best thing that happened in your life. Amazing sex. Amazing emotions (very positive in the beginning). She's so amazing you turn a blind eye to few red flags that pop up.

But then, it starts. It starts slow. In the beginning few disagreements about simple stuff. You brush it off, you can easily disarm her with your knowledge (because you're the guy and you know your shit). But slowly the drama keeps on leveling up. It gets worse, from once every few weeks to almost daily. You still have your shit together, but it starts to take it's toll on you. On your mental sanity. You start to question. Where wen't the girl I fall in love with? Where is her? And the question is obvious. It was all a lie. And the drama? The drama keeps on going, it gets stronger. (I seriously think there is no "limit" with how high the drama can go - it'll end bad, that's for sure). You start to question your sanity, you start to question "maybe she's right and I'm the one fucked in the head, not her". This is your downfall.

You're just stuck with someone that knows no bounds when it comes to morals or having a conscience. She has no bounds. She'll use every trick in the book. EVERY. SINGLE. ONE. Will perfectly lie with a stright face to you. Will say you said things you didn't or acted the way you didn't. Will manipulate you into sumplication, because this shit you call a relationship was just a game for power for her and she isn't bound by a conscience. She doesn't have a voice in her head telling her it's bad what she just did to you. She will threaten you or try to harm you. She will definitely try to destroy you in a most effective way. Because even when you're robbed or beat up or someone fired you from work you're just as mentally fine as the next guy, but the relationship with a BPD chick and one that lasts for some months or years will leave deep scars on your mental well being that will take years to heal.

I think I will end it with saying that I'm fine and it was a very learning expirience. I never met a liar that good. Or manipulator that good. It was worth seeing it with my very own eyes, but I wasted time. I wasted time, because I was hooked. The drama and the sex made me a junkie.

Stay the fuck away.


I could rant and rant about it. Write few really long pages. I'll add little something.

Not every BPD chick is the same. There are stupid ones, with really obvious tells in their personality and their hidding skills aren't polished so well that you can tell she's hidding something and it won't be a nice something. The ones which are obvious act like a typical BPD, clingy, good sex, many partners, wants to escalate things really fast between you. The cunning ones, the ones that you should stay the fuck away, because she can keep the face/lie for months if not years are the ones you really should watch out and should really listen to what is your voice telling you, because you won't have any legit proof till she unmasks and starts the drama. She will really adjust her personality to yours and really fast, so catching her in the act in the first 3 months maybe hard if someone has no experience with BPD.

If I met the cunning one I would look for in the beginning before the drama:

  1. Longterm friends. How many, if any. How long. How their relationship looks like. Girls? Boys? Only girls? Only boys? If no longterm friends, be warned. If only boys, be warned.

  2. Relationship with her family. Toxic? How toxic? Split parents? Parents together? If split parents, toxic and especially if there is something wrong with the mother (it can look like the father left, but the mother may have issues too, so be careful with the judgement) be warned.

  3. Dating life. Many shortterm relationships = someone makes it unbearable for the man to tag along for longer. She can lie and with no longterm friends you can never find out tho.

  4. Homeymoon phase 1-3 months. If things looks too good to be true then they aren't.

  5. Me, me, me. Very egoistical? On one side expects you to adjust but isn't doing it herself? Big tell.

  6. Narcissistic? Cynic? Are her "jokes" putting down you or your friends? Is she signalling in a covert way that your friends sucks and you should drop em? Drop her.

Always, always trust your gut and trust people on this fucking subreddit, they know what they're talking about.

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[–]EdmondDantes7771 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Wow, i literally broke up with someone like that yesterday. It's like we dated the same girl.

Yes a few years ago I was dating a girl exactly like your girl and the one described here. It was a revelation to me when I first found out about borderline personality disorder, and I realized other people were suffering abuse just like I was.

Of course I do and always did accept responsibility for allowing myself to get in to that situation with such a toxic person in the first place, and also responsibility for not getting out earlier.

[–]andrewscool1014 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because even when you’re robbed or beat up or someone fired you from work you’re just as mentally fine as the next guy, but the relationship with a BPD chick and one that lasts for some months or years will leave deep scars on your mental well being that will take years to heal.

Thankfully my relationship only lasted a matter of weeks. I was out of there as quickly as I was in. It was actually cause she blocked me on social media, so I blocked her back so when she eventually calmed down (which she would have) she couldn’t get back in touch.

[–]saucierlol2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was lucky to be with a stupid one. I didnt know BPD before and within one month of datingr her I was looking for mental illnesses on the internet. Found out about BPD and it all made senses. I m not so mentally stable myself so I made the mistake to dismiss all I read and kept dating her. Bad idea. Been a year now. Recently I started to forget the abuse. I used to think of her as a real life threatening danger. Now I think of her as this crazy chick I used to date. So it scares me because at any moment I know I could fall back into it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Here is my experience dating BPD girl according to your specifications. I will be posting a field report soon. I got fucked...

  1. Longterm friends. How many, if any. How long. How their relationship looks like. Girls? Boys? Only girls? Only boys? If no longterm friends, be warned. If only boys, be warned.

No friends, only one close friend, most friends were online, not IRL, and male.

  1. Relationship with her family. Toxic? How toxic? Split parents? Parents together? If split parents, toxic and especially if there is something wrong with the mother (it can look like the father left, but the mother may have issues too, so be careful with the judgement) be warned.

Father HANGED himself in front of her, bcuz her mother left him for another man (possible prostitute?)

  1. Dating life. Many shortterm relationships = someone makes it unbearable for the man to tag along for longer. She can lie and with no longterm friends you can never find out tho.

First boyfriend left her because he had cancer

  1. Homeymoon phase 1-3 months. If things looks too good to be true then they aren't.

Yes, yes, fucking YES. First two months DID seem too good to be true. It seemed too perfect. TOO FUCKING PERFECT

  1. Me, me, me. Very egoistical? On one side expects you to adjust but isn't doing it herself? Big tell.

Only cares about herself, never inquired on me, how I felt, or what I wanted. Never let me "choose" the dates, never agreed with me

  1. Narcissistic? Cynic? Are her "jokes" putting down you or your friends? Is she signalling in a covert way that your friends sucks and you should drop em? Drop her.

Trash talked my best friend constantly, started messaging him on Facebook, purposely told me she was baiting him to find out why he was trying to influence our relationship (WTF)

[–]ANGRY_ATHEIST70 points71 points  (7 children) | Copy

I made the worst mistake of all and actually married someone who was BPD. Everything that's been posted here, it's all true. While I was getting divorce-raped, she testified under oath that I raped her, supposedly just a few months after we were married. She then stayed married to me, the "rapist", for almost 2 more years, and even conceived a child with me, but decided not to tell anyone until she was on the stand at my divorce trial.

Of course there were abuse claims galore, when she was the one who was actually physically violent. I had proof of this in the way of audio recordings and text messages where she admitted to being violent, but if you know the court system you know these things fall upon deaf ears. They deemed the relationship "mutually abusive" because she made the accusations too, you know, just to be safe.

One thing that hasn't been mentioned though, is what's known as "borderline splitting". Basically they see you as either the greatest person in the world, or the most evil person in the world. It goes along with what's already been posted here, but if you would like to do more research on the subject there's your google term.

The reason they call it borderline, is because they're right on the border of being a full blown psychopath. Human empathy is barely hanging on by a thread. Avoid these women like the plague.

[–]postreformedpua19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

Nothing much to add other than I was also married to a BPD. It was my own fault for being so naive and ignoring red flags.

I'm pretty sure I'm on the spectrum and I sometimes wonder if the somewhat socially oblivious are the natural prey of the BPD.

I certainly have clued in now, mainly thanks to this forum. After all I went through I don't see myself ever even coinciding an LTR and I don't really see it as a bad thing in the current climate.

[–]andrewscool10110 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m pretty sure I’m on the spectrum and I sometimes wonder if the somewhat socially oblivious are the natural prey of the BPD.

They are friend. I have Asperger’s syndrome, so I’m on the spectrum. And my BPD ex had dated other Aspie’s too.

[–]BewareTheOldMan26 points27 points  (4 children) | Copy

Good Grief - when are women going to stop throwing around rape accusations as if they mean nothing? This only hurts actual victims and makes men doubt every women who makes a claim of rape.

Based on this deluge of flimsy accusations for either revenge or to get an advantage in court, we're getting close to where the burden of proof will either require multiple witnesses or verifiable video evidence just to get serious consideration.

[–]5Imperator_Red36 points37 points  (0 children) | Copy

when are women going to stop throwing around rape accusations as if they mean nothing?

When it stops being beneficial for them to do so.

[–]ANGRY_ATHEIST22 points23 points  (2 children) | Copy

To ice the cake, this supposed "rape" happened while we had guests in the house. When she threw out the date, she had forgotten about that. I even had a picture from that night of her grabbing my junk lol. Fortunately one of them was available to testify at the trial that he was there, and that the claims were ridiculous. Still, a jaw-dropping event that no doubt was a factor that pushed me to TRP.

[–]kril8925 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy

The problem is that your ex-wife in her mind was raped. She convinced herself that this happened. And trying to convince a crazy person that their mind made something up is impossible. That's why people believe them because they are telling the truth according to their fucked up brain.

[–]lespaul13437 points38 points  (6 children) | Copy

My best friend in college was BPD, diagnosed as a young child. Was the single most fucked up person I've ever met. Some true scumbags I know don't hold a fuckin candle to the way this guy manipulated and lied. Reality was a toy he played with. I spend most of my time with him and the dissociation from reality is VERY contagious. Not a word of this post is exaggerated.

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[–]andrewscool10112 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

It’s very possible that men and women are affected differently. Women are naturally better at emotions, so add BPD to the mix and they are true emotional psychopaths.

[–]lespaul1345 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just keep an eye out. My friend seemed like a totally normal dude, a really great friend who was so generous and interesting.

It's all a facade. He has nothing behind his eyes. There is no soul inside. I dont want to go down my own rabbit hole and tell stories, it was 2 years of my life ruined by mental illness and medication and this absolute freak of nature doing everything he could to destroy me.

[–]iloveturks10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

So why was he your best friend?

[–]neverquitman22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yeah I get that its dangerous being with one, but I mean my heart goes out to those who have BPD. Not everyone is strong enough to fight on in their internal battles. Its like they have a constant fog infront of their eyes. And people with BPD push through, do treatments and then suddenly commit suicide leaving everyone heartbroken. I don't want to justify erratic behavior just because they have BPD but it wrecks when a person who is trying to make it in life for the better, suddenly give up. But yeah, BDP or not, erratic behavior should not be endorsed by neither sides. Not by men and not by women.

[–]Shaman66248 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yep. Having borderline sucks. Having such a fluid reality where the person that means the most to you in one moment is suddenly portrayed as a betrayer in the next. Going from a normal world where you can trust people to a world were everything good you experienced was actually fake and you realize that everyone is a utilistic piece of shit. I understand them all to well. And it seems like a shit disease to have.

[–]RxCubed22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy

An ex of mine had BPD, to the extent where she was getting disability checks from the government for it. At the time I didn't care, I didn't know any better. She was super hot. The sex was amazing. She treated me like a god when I was pretty much a selfish scumbag at that time. She would pay for everything. Suck my dick really well out of the blue. You name it. The good times were really good.

Eventually she convinced me to move to a different state to live with her. That's when her other side came out. The sex became awful. Endless broken promises. She was incredibly mean, cruel even. Physically and emotionally abusive. She had me kicked out by her whole family and the police out of nowhere (I was at home tidying up the apartment while I thought she was at work) with claims that I had just assaulted her. I was about to go to jail but I thankfully had videos of her abuse on my phone (which she deleted but I had backed up because I saw it coming). Ended up homeless in a strange place for a little bit. Never again.

If it seems to good to be true, it is. Learn from me. Avoid girls with BPD.

[–]NextBad2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I feel you, I met a BPD girl, she was the kindest person I ever met, she was so timid and shy, turns out it was all a front. but she lied so well, how can a person not show any cracks is beyond me, she became like every other loud abusive girl over night, not quite sure why she treated me so well in the beginning

[–]SKRedPill16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy

I've seen BPD up close and personal and have written about it here (search for it, I can't cross link, but someone gave it gold) - I broke Reddit's word limit and still wasn't all done. Never again. I am lucky I am alive (and her as well) -- if anything worse had happened, I'd be in jail or worse. If this had continued any longer, I might have jumped off the 13th storey of my apartment now. There was a danger to 4 families in toto. It took me the best part of 6 months to get back to normal and recalibrate. Fortunately family intervened and we decided to pull the plug out of the relationship.

I can list an example for each and every one of the terms in that link shared by the mod. I remember seeing a questionnaire on abusive relationships and mine ticked off all of them.

There is nothing as destructive as the ego of a Borderline. BPDs are living, breathing, thinking, feeling, extremely powerful walking pain bodies - nothing comes close to describing it. They will destroy your mind, your peace, your house, your life, and will even destroy themselves if it means getting even. It's worse than sociopathy when you face it. Extremely cunning, but also extremely insecure, eternal liars, full of pain, and totally driven by their subconscious madness. A live wire with nothing to ground it.

This ain't your normal over emotional modern women either. This is a walking nuke! Never marry a borderline, don't even date them despite the looks and sex. You just signed your own death warrant. We might feel sorry for their pain and suffering from a distance, but that does not mean they are in any way fit for a normal relationship.

I don't get it why so many BPD posts here are flagged for abuse and many noobs turn up and justify it -- I guess those are the ones who lurk here these days (and probably got this sub quarantined and the other one banned), doing their concern trolling and NAWALT. BPDs are very power hungry. Illimitable Man lost his twitter by posting negatively about BPD - so that ought to tell you. So If you're one of them, get the fuck out of here. Get. Out.

Natural selection and common sense would want to eliminate such genes out of the pool.

You will never find women talking about it, or condemning this kind of crazy and accepting it as a serious problem. Why would they? It's beginning to normalize these behaviours to the point where even normal and healthy women start behaving like this because that's what society approves. It's sick. Normal women can be brought back to normal. BPDs are terminally ill and unless you can change their very brain structure, they are in no position for healthy relationships.

Do not listen to what they say or what this fucked up society says, they're all fucked.

We actually need a good sidebar post just for BPD in all the rp subs included marriedrp, with examples.

[–]deepspace713 points14 points  (13 children) | Copy

Men can be diagnosed with BPD too. People seem to think it's only women. I believe there's no accurate figures on differences in prevalence due to the fact that women are overdiagnosed whereas men are underdiagnosed. Some estimate that it's 75 percent women and 25 percent men, and other studies point to closer to equal.

[–]Darksh4dow8811 points12 points  (8 children) | Copy

I am a 19 y/o male diagnosed with a mild form of BPD. It sucks, since many RP principles don't work for me. For example, having abundance doesn't cure extreme oneitis and there were many situations where I felt forced to psychologically torture girls which obiously is pointless, childish and destructive. I can get so angry about little things that go wrong (e.g. spilling a drink on the floor) that I destroy furniture, punch against walls thus hurting myself etc. I am happy though that I got a very rational personality most of the time so I can analyze my behaviour and work on learning how to cope with emotions. Started therapy 3 werks ago and am optimistic.

[–]deepspace76 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm glad you're getting treatment. Hopefully your therapist is using components of dialectical behavior therapy (DBT). This is an evidenced based approach. The key to regulating your emotions better is to step back from thoughts and feelings at times, so you don't allow them to overwhelm you. Look up mindfulness. It'll help you deal with turbulent thoughts and feelings and not get caught up in it.

[–]Darksh4dow881 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yeah, I used to do daily meditation with Headspace but sadly fell out of the routine and into a very hedonistic lifestyle (sex, drugs, video games) which was terrible and intensified the mood swings. I am now trying to get into positive habits again while staying away from the bad ones. Kinda like monk mode.

[–]deepspace71 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

As you found out, a lifestyle that feeds your emotions will make it stronger and overwhelm the rational and reasonable side of your mind. Try to do activities that strengthen your rational side like problem solving, making a schedule, budgeting, goal planning, etc.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Therapy for personality disorders is a 50/50 proposition at best but it is all we got.

The key to "beating" the disorder is self-awareness and an intellectual curiosity about empathy and seeing the other's perspective. Meditation and/or religious conversion are probably your best allies and more useful than most types of therapy.

punch walls

Self control is a learned ability and it is not necessarily attenuated by BPD. This may be another thing entirely.

There is a lot of good news for you in that. First, poor self control is NOT BPD but something else. Second, you can learn better self control with practice. Third, you can use your BPD to slay the girls in the same way other sociopaths use their Antisocial Personality Disorder (Hint: Girls LOVE to "fix" a bad boy who does not give a fuck). Fourth, when you increase your self-awareness you will be even better able to slay puss. Fifth, when you get at least an intellectual curiosity about considering how the other person feels you will be able to have better relationships. This is not as good as actually gaining empathy but it is a viable strategy to fake it till you make it.

[–]RepresentativeFile31 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The basic underlying problem is that "not giving a fuck" is the very antithesis of BPD about 50% of the time. It is not a lack of (self perceived) empathy, emotions, or self-control that are the issues.

People with BPD just constantly lie (first and foremost also to themselves) about their emotional state of mind. This leads to instability in their relations, their personality and their behavior -- however those are just symptoms.

As you pointed out, self-awareness and introspection are two problematic areas.

[–]2awalt_cupcake0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I am a BPD male in my 20's raised by 2 generations of BPD women (mom and gram) and am BPD myself.

"Bending reality" or "hopping into someones headspace" is a powerful tool. Don't hate yourself for having this it can be your ally. But like all things, use it in moderation otherwise you'll out yourself as a manipulator. Most of the time no one cares enough to really ask questions or pay attention to you and our charm can be so genuine that we build enough trust to get away with it. I still get angry at small things from time to time. You're good that you're recognizing these things. Working out at the gym has done wonders for me. I recommend. You're too tired physically to lash out.

As far as torturing psychologically this actually works great on broken women (90% of women out there). Women will torture men like this all the time but we have their gift too.

Something to consider.

[–]rationalthought3140 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I got a very rational personality most of the time so I can analyze my behaviour and work on learning how to cope with emotions.

That's a big difference. With girls they often have others especially blue pill guys telling her she doesn't have a problem. She's just as likely to embrace her BPD as being part of her mystique rather than a problem that needs to be addressed.

[–]andrewscool1011 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I’m assuming as women are better at social interaction than men, they also do more emotional blackmail.

[–]volvostupidshit0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

They can also easily get away with shit. Men rarely do.

[–]gazzaa23 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Most of the stuff a female BDP pull and get away with a man wouldn't because all the laws on their side. For example a BPD man hits a woman and he can be arrested/jailed. I dated a girl with BPD and often used to think that if a man pulled the shit she does he'd be physically assaulted and getting into fights on a daily basis, but women get away with shit all the time. It leaves those with BPD having no impulse control at all.

The culture of the west just makes it worse. Before feminism women who acted like this would be sectioned, so they'd be forced to tone it down and hide it better, at least in public. And if they gave their husbands hell the husband would be justified to use his fists to keep her line, or threaten her with a divorce before that meant cash and prizes.

[–]StraightWeather40 points41 points  (8 children) | Copy

I highly recommend you all read the comments on YouTube videos about Borderline Personality Disorder.

Specifically, see if you can view the most disliked videos first and start there (as those tend to have the most honest opinions about the BPD-afflicted, which is why they hate them so much). I promise you, you will gain invaluable "boots on the ground" perspective of these goblins--in their own words. Here's some examples of common themes you'll see:

  • How dare you call us monsters! You don't understand what it's like to have BPD. I would bet I'm the most caring person you'll ever meet!
  • I don't harm the people I love; it's my illness that does it!
  • Deep down, I'm full of regret for all the people I've hurt. It's not my fault.
  • I only threatened to kill myself if someone left me because I loved them so deeply. Can't you isolate my loving nature from the other aspects of me?

Jesus, all these people do is talk about me, me, me, me, ME!!! How their illness makes them so miserable, with zero understanding of how they impact others.

I've known women with BPD (thankfully, I've never dated one nor was I raised by one, but even that hasn't kept me safe from their emotional waste), and it wasn't "their illness" (like it's some fucking phantasm) that reported me to H.R. and turned everyone in the store I worked at against me because I turned down a date with them--it was the girl!

Sorry this post is kinda scatterbrained, but you don't know how bad these people are until you meet them. Hopefully you never do, but I've given you instructions on how to get a glimpse at their delusional narcissism...if you dare.

[–]Rakialtj2 points3 points  (5 children) | Copy

Waste pieces of crap, let them all kill themselves, they don't serve well in this planet as human beings!!

[–]mintylove1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy

Those people are sick my man. Should all cancer patients rope themselves as well?

[–]Rakialtj2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

No men, the problem with them is they will try manipulate you in any possible way! You have to remove them without remorse from your life before they turn around and brain fuck you! Been there, seen enough. Who wants to go through life with these people ? BPDP = null;

Sry not sry

[–]rationalthought3140 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

cancer patients don't seek to ruin people's lives or manipulate them. The ones who realize their issue and work to overcome with it I support but most of them are people to avoid at all costs.

[–]mintylove1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Mentally ill patients don't seek to ruin people's lives intentionally.

[–]HypochondriacOxen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

While I see where you are coming from as an individual with many friends struggling with mental illness, BPD is unlike any other disorder. Females with BPD are akin to Sirens, luring you in by being a compassionate, exciting and all around amazing partner. Yet after a few months this always changes, they start to tighten their grasp on you and when you resist they manipulate you using any tools at their disposal (threats, guilt trips, gaslighting ect). After making the mistake of "falling in love" with a girl with BPD I can honestly say the world would be a much better place without the lot of them.

[–]mintylove0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Well it is their illness that causes them to hurt others. I hate this view that mental disorders are some made up terms used to adress scumbags in a PC way. They are not. There are physical/physiological differences in sufferers as compared to healthy individuals. There IS something wrong with them which is NOT in their control and stigmatizing them for that is not manly.

[–]Lightways43411 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dated a bpd chick once. She was bat shit crazy and I recently found out she committed suicide not too long ago.

[–]Psynaut11 points12 points  (1 child) | Copy

This was my sister. Every single sentence in OPs post, on steroids and to the extreme. Absolute insanity.

Nobody ever knows what BDP is and NOBODY ever believes that the BPD female can ACTUALLY be as crazy, evil, and dishonest as you describer her, but she is way way worse. You tame it to make her sound remotely believable, but she is worse.

It is great to see this /subreddit educating itself on BPD.

[–]rationalthought3142 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I can relate. Grew up with a psycho who would threaten to burn down the house if she didn't get her way but she manipulated my dad to just see her as Daddy's Little Girl.

[–]Flying_Wingback22 points23 points  (10 children) | Copy

Had a BPD ex. This bitch would pretend to kill herself on the freeway if I tried to ignore her

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro12 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy

This bitch would pretend to kill herself on the freeway if I tried to ignore her

In such situations you call the police or paramedics or her parents/sister/family and she is suddenly cured... and unlikely to try those BPD tricks next time.

Source: worked for me.

[–]andrewscool1013 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Definitely 911 and say she needs to go to a physiatric hospital.

[–]HS-Thompson1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That’s what I thought. The ability to escalate beyond what you thought possible though is breathtaking. The next thing you know they’re successfully manipulating doctors and law enforcement and mental health professionals. Successfully.

Ask me how I know.

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[–]Flying_Wingback2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

It was back when I used to live with my parents before stumbling upon TRP. I didn’t ghost her as I was embarrassed her showing up at my parents house and making a scene.

All that’s changed couple weeks after I found TRP

[–]Chaddeus_Rex0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

This bitch would pretend to kill herself on the freeway if I tried to ignore her

you should have let her kill herself on the freeway? Why do you care if she does? You can always find another bitch

[–]andrewscool1015 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

She wouldn’t have actually done it.

[–]AbusiveFather10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Probably would've blamed him

[–]Chaddeus_Rex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

even more reason to ignore her

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[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

We need a flair just for BPD stories.

[–]drowawayn1232 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My friend, I'd be happy to hear the story

[–]doorterblack6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy

BPD, psychopath, sociopath, they’re all the same to me.

[–]frameTrumpsShitTests9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy

All the descriptions, including comments, to me just describe female nature. Nothing out of the ordinary here.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

With BPD it is usually taken to extreme pathology in relationships but yah, hard to tell these days.

[–]Avertus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

But the need to discuss these illnesses arose from the fact that they're getting out of control. If a considerable portion of adult women in Western societies are diagnosed, it's a symptom of a deeper social problem lying underneath.

[–]funnn848 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

This needs to be more awareness of this in women i didn’t know what this was and turned into a beta blue pill shell of who i use to be. Made it out alive and so much stronger/healthier. DO NOT DATE BPD esp when you see the red flags.

[–]RedPillCoach8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

There is a reason one of our Senior contributors calls them "Lucifer's Daughter." Because they are.

BPD is basically the female version of Antisocial Personality Disorder. They leave a pile of wrecked lives in their wake because they don't play nice. Many ASPD guys end up in prison.

BPD females similarly leave a pile of wrecked lives in their wake but they are rewarded with fat payouts, vaginamony, full custody and social approval.

Other than Ovarian Cancer, there is no more of a "gendered" set of diseases than BPD and ASPD. Woman good, man bad writ large right in the DSM!

[–]mintylove2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

BPD is not an exclusively female disorder. Some studies show that it might have roughly the same prevalence in both genders.

[–]RedPillCoach1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

That is because so many men today behave like women and are feminized so they use feminine power tactics to manipulate others.

Both ASPD and BPD are personality disorders characterized by pathological narcissism, lack of empathy, low emotional control and destructive behaviors.

Source: One of my several academic publications on the topic of Personality Disorders

In men this personality disorder manifests often in violent outbursts and evil criminal behavior. They go to prison for their behavior.

In women, this personality disorder manifest in violent outbursts and evil behavior especially directed at intimate relationship partners. They get cash and prizes for their behavior.

ASPD and BPD is the same disorder with the same neural substrates and the same underlying pathology. With men who are larger with muscles, it is expressed with violence and lack of control. Men do the most damage by brute force so that is what they do.

With women it is expressed as toxic towards relationships. They are equally as violent as ASPD men but nobody cares. The real source of female power is in manipulating and damaging relationships and this is where they can do the most damage- so they do.

You are correct ASPD and BPD are not generally recognized as the same disorder but I have Red Pill knowledge and do not share the gynocentrism of other social scientists. I can recognize bad female behavior from a Kilometer away.

[–]deepspace71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Actually, Antisocial PD and BPD are not characterized by narcissism. That is another different personality disorder. Global lack of empathy is also not a criteria of BPD, but it is with Antisocial PD. The poor emotional regulation can be seen as intense anger or emotional instability, which are criteria for BPD. Destructive behavior can be in both Antisocial PD and BPD. For BPD that destructiveness can be also in the form of self harm.

A BPD individual can have traits of narcissism, but so can a "normal" person. Remember, personality traits exist on a spectrum. Also, Antisocial PD and BPD can be comorbid.

[–]deepspace71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

BPD is not the female version of Antisocial Personality Disorder. Both male and female can be diagnosed with either. Yes, men are more likely to be diagnosed with ASPD and women with BPD. There is a gender bias with diagnosis.

It may be due to the fact that men and women express their feelings differently. In men emotional dysregulation may be more likely to be displayed as physical aggression, and in women it's verbal and emotional aggression. Men are also more likely to be charged for their behavioural conduct and women are given a pass, i.e. a man who attacks his girlfriend, versus a women who attacks her boyfriend.

They also are in the same Cluster B category, which means there are some similarities in presentation, i.e. dramatic and emotional, but they are distinct enough to be separate disorders. Think of a personality disorder as extremes of personality traits on a spectrum. Everyone has traits on that spectrum, but those who have a disorder are much further away from the norm of the population.

[–]snowdenlaydying7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would add that the causation of this particular personality disorder is hypothesised to be due to attachment disorder meeting with systemic childhood and/or adolescent trauma. It is important to realise that they are not born this way. There are obviously certain genetic predispositions but adequate parental care is a major protective factor. Worth understanding for all you parents and future dad's reading this. What YOU do is important.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Have experienced dating BPD. There is a sociopathic level of destruction tempered only by their needs. When they feel their bizarre emotional needs will not be met they turn on you. Often walking away will make them super nice again. For a while.

BPDs are the ones that are most likely to land you in jail. And in her eyes it's completely justified because to her you actually did the things she said. You must have, she FEELS it. And you're in jail, so clearly you must be some sort of criminal.

If confronted with any inconsistencies in their story or behaviors they can and will become violent. Physically violent.

Never ever allow this. The first time a woman gets violent with you is the second you leave. Quietly, calmly LEAVE. Female violence = male jail. Your injuries will be used as evidence at the extent to which she had to defend herself. Leave, it's not worth it. There are better women out there.

They remember conversations that never took place

This is a key indicator that you need to get the fuck out. ANY SINGLE TIME she recounts events or conversations that didn't happen you leave and you don't look back. This is the biggest and easiest red flag to see.

Another warning sign: you mention to her "hey, I'm not sure I like it when you do X" and she says back straight away "no, YOU do X". This is like gaslighting, and it works on men raised to see the best in women who accept the criticism of others. Don't fall for it, don't let her muddy the waters.

Absolutely do not think you can tame one. You can't.

Right. While it's tempting to think "I can handle this, the sex is worth it" in practice you can't because she has the full backing of the law and a million gullible white knights on her side. When she starts crying the world sees a bullying man and not a psychotic woman.

You should run your life such that you never ever argue with women. Arguing doesn't work, it just weakens your case. You lose your temper when you're losing control over the situation, and she knows it. She also knows that you can't hit her, so losing your temper makes you look both angry and impotent. Women have no fear of your anger or arguing with her. Most women LIKE you arguing because it shows how much you care about keeping her and how subservient to her whims you and your emotions are. Women enjoy it in the same way they enjoy other loser and beta behaviours: it strengthens her social position and weakens yours and your attractiveness.

When she starts a fight (perfectly normal female behaviour, don't hold it against her) you sit there and calmly think of the other things you could be doing right now and the better women you could be dating. Tell her once very quietly "stop this now". Internally count to ten. When you reach ten say nothing further, get up and quietly leave without saying another word and while displaying zero emotion.

Next time you will not have to count in your head beyond three before she calms down.

With decent women this will make your life (and hers) much calmer and better. BPD women will show their true colours at this point. You win either way.

Don't argue with women.

[–]Brixylian5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

14-years experience with a severely clinical disordered femme fatale w BPD. First, BPD isn't routine female feelings exaggerated beyond reason. It's a clinical personality disorder which when witnessed first hand is appallingly devastating. Because, unless there has been a long-standing commitment to dialectical behavioral therapy (dbt), a stable relationship will not be possible with the person with BPD (pwBPD).

Men fall into the abyss with women who are borderlines because of their abilties to charm or glamour the non-BPD via idealizing, love bombing, mirroring and their passionate porn-like sexual skills. The above, along with their collateral chameleon-like charm create the strongest attractions and the most severe cases of dependence and obsession that men can feel about women. Which often leads to debilitating relational situations, and in the most tortured cases, men sometimes even off themselves. That occurs because their suffering is so immense, born from the discord between the illusion they bought into... However, when the BPD mask comes off, the disconnect between who the man thought he loved and the reality that the disordered is not that person... is too much for them. They sold their soul to the woman with BPD. And now they feel as empty as the pwBPD. Though, they do not have the years of experience like the pwBPD dealing with feeling alien. Instead, sadly they swallow a bullet or hang themselves.

There are only two ways to avoid systemic damage when BPD is involved. One is to be cognizant of the red flags and avoid them in toto.

However, if you're willing to assume the risk for the rewards then one must transcend suffering and: (1) Be past the point in life where one desires a first wife (if that's your cup of tea), or be divorced and not looking for a second marriage, (2) never ever have a kid with a pwBPD, (3) never fall into one-itis and expect that an untreated pwBPD can pull off a committed LTR in perpetuity. They cannot.

Consequently, know yourself. If so inclined, take your turn. Treat them well. Do not become unreasonably attached. I'd advise all men under 40 to avoid women with BPD. And even when older, understand what is forseeable... because she is compelled to reenact the abandonment cycle which traumatized her (in childhood) in all of her intimate adult relationships. You are not an exception. You are the end to her means.

[–]Shittybillyall15 points16 points  (6 children) | Copy

Ex was BPD. Started with little red flags here and there and then finally exposed itself the more time we spent together. At times I'd question my own sanity at some of the stuff, the lies the manipulating Almost been two months of me ghosting her, changed my number and deleted social media. It's not my job to fix broken women.

[–]MrFiles2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

How's your life going now? I'm about to get out of this he'll hole and I want to know what the other side is like

[–]Shittybillyall7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

Get out now don't wait and hope shit gets better it doesn't it gets worse. I'm a pretty redpilled dude been reading material and using it for 10+ years. This girl was my first serious relationship after years of banging sloots and partying. Typical unicorn girl, didn't party much, wasn't slutty, wasn't all over social media looking for attention and she was smoking hot. But as you know AWALT, Best relationship I've ever been in for the first 7-8 months than slowly things started adding up from the past and unraveling. These chicks can only hold their character for so long before it comes out. Most comments here are the same situation, perfect for 6-8 months than all hell breaks loose. I still love the girl that I dated during that first 7-8 months but she doesn't exist it's all an act. I ended it via text message I was too scared to do it in person out of fear she might cause a scene or call the cops and say I hit her. I'm doing fine now biggest thing is trying to avoid feeling lonely, started hitting the gym everyday after work and a couple other hobbies to keep busy. I'm in my early 30's so must of my buddies are married or have kids and aren't around as much. Just gonna lay low for a couple weeks and have some me time. Probably fire up tinder again when I get bored and wanna smash broads again. Goodluck bro you got this.

[–]GoyInTheStripedPJs3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

It gets better, but seriously you need to take action now and ghost. That's the only way to do it imo. Disappear. It's sad but yeah... That's what I did, and it has been difficult but entirely necessary. I don't even know if she actually killed herself or not, as she said multiple times she would do if we broke up. If anyone threatens suicide like that and puts it on you, that's a sure sign they're fucked up.

This thread has me feeling whatever the non-faggot equivalent of triggered is lmao, just reading others experiences and remembering mine. Emotional manipulation, physical violence, trying to damage my family relationships, getting so angry if I spent time doing anything but being with her. The signs were sooo obvious in retrospect. A pretty redpilled associate of mine even said -- trust me, this chick will ruin you. He was right, at least in the short term, but I didn't listen.

[–]-saltymangos-0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

what were the “little red flags?”

[–]Shittybillyall9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Flipping out about the smallest shit, lying about stuff and not remembering the next day then telling me something different, coudent resolve any issue between us, always had new friends, drug use that was hidden from me, very clingy etc etc

[–]Omnidempotent4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy

How do you get them to go away? I have heard the advice that acting beta will make normal women lose interest and leave on their own. Will this work with BPD's?

[–]MrFiles16 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy


These women do not leave

These women are meant for ghosting

If you even give her and inch

They will pull you back in

You can not wait for her to make the move

Be the man and make the decision to leave her ass

[–]rura123454 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes, block them, unfriend them and move on. They are like black holes, don't get to close or they suck you back in.

[–]volvostupidshit2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Just tell them you know what kind of tricks they are trying to play on you and they will avoid you like the plague. Be weary of the smear campaign afterwards though.

[–]MisterDSTP1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah i didnt know anything about BPD when ibwas dealing with one. But one final argument it clicked. I called her out on qllcher lies and she was still arguing to the death crying and gaslighting. Mb

It finally clicked (everything she had been saying before aboutbher ex being abusive and her old relationship patterns)

I saidn"i get it. You like weak men that you can easily manipulate and control. THAT'S why you're so upset."

Shewas exhausted and had no comeback. She kinda smirked. And in that one second i saw in her eyes thst she just wanted me to take her home and fuck her hours ago. And everytime we fought it was the same scenario. She just couldnt do it without a little "excitement" i had to prove how much i cared about her by fighting and almost choking her to death first smh

Never picked uo her calls again

[–]Dsfunqtional5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I knew a handful of girls with BPD at uni and got into a relationship with one after. I can vouch for all the other guys in the comments heading a warning that they're the most toxic people you could ever meet. Do not do it.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

I have dealt with my daughter's mom creeping into 2 years now and OP is correct - they never change. Hell even "counseling" and "medications" can't stop the crazy train fully with these types of people. I just remember the massive idealization in the beginning of our dating/relationship like yesterday and the very subtle (frog in boiling water) games, lies, manipulation, ultimatums, insecurity exploitation (every castle has a hole in it: deal with it on a personal level), stealing, gas lighting, and overall all the classic signs.

It's really chilling at times dealing with her the complete lack of remorse of her reckless choices and how it is everyone else at fault. I worry about my little girl when she isn't with me. I've just noticed overall with BPD's like OP described is that they don't give a flying fuck what gets in their way of their "agenda" or what damaged the bullet train causes in it's path (an exciting new chad v. stable marriage/wife/family, spending money on the newest stuff because it's what is cool, complete control of a relationship (classic BB), infidelity, lying, and so much more)

These types of people also have other red flags that are not so universal but little tip offs:

  • Poor relationship with her parents.
  • Biological father was not around, involved, or if he was: very negligent/abusive (most likely)
  • Siblings they grew up in the same home have also pulled a kamikaze with their life/living due to the same neglect/abuse.
  • Lifestyle is a complete disorganized clusterfuck: rocky job stability, room is a mess, hoarding, car is a ticking time bomb, and lazy.
  • Always has a way of "getting their way"
  • A lot of skeletons in the closet that are still alive: tons of friends of the opposite sex (bonus if some are ex's/former flings), not many same sex friends, and finally their "bff's" exhibit the same anti-social characteristics as them.
  • Super secretive about social media, phone, email, etc.. (this one is a massive debate, use caution. Some people are very private and some are hiding something. Be mindful of privacy but know when your spidey senses are screaming at you and you start connecting factual dots.. Always use facts, never emotion)
  • They have a reputation around the area/town and it's not so good.
  • They have had issues in the past with domestic disputes and the police.
  • MASSIVE RED FLAG constant shifting of identities: art teacher - now musician - now an ER doctor - now a ditch digger sholving shit - now they are country and with god - now they are atheist - now they want to travel the world to see new cultures. This all very subjective in text but in person with an observant eye/mind: you can spot it happening in the moment when it does.
  • Their relationships with people have ended in a massive fiery wreck... a lot - and it's not their fault/ex is blah blah (this can also tip off they have shitty choices in mate selection and putting on a mask just for YOU!)
  • Multiple "masks" for different people. You notice when they are with certain people their conduct/behavior toward you shifts rapidly and most of the time: negatively.

The best course of action with BPD's: RUN LIKE HELL AND SHIELD YOURSELF. Attend counseling if you need to, move away, lift, smoke weed, form a strong friend group, lean on family, or ANYTHING to help you during the time of decommissioning of this radioactive "relationship"

In my case if you have children with one (god help us): a good healthy ounce of self - love/respect, knowing your worth, be the bigger person and show your children the right way, make your mission about you & your kids, and remember to keep yourself in check with emotion around the BPD. Once you know the BPD inside and out along with their tricks: they will test you hardcore to get that rise they originally got out of you. Welcome amygdala (emotional center of brain) regulation hell folks. A BPD can and WILL fuck you over if they can get you to a point of doing so. My daughter's mom used to call the cops so much for petty arguments/disagreements (no fists, bruises, cuts, or anything), claimed DV in court, parental alienation by violating custody orders/trying to manipulate me out of a ton of more money because "the child support isn't enough" while showing off her new make up collection/car.

Be wise gentleman. Do your research, don't fuck with these type of chicks, and remember to never take your own life no matter how bad it gets. Stay strong.

[–]Jkarl11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Very good post. As someone who spent three years dealing with a borderline and really trying to figure them out, this post sums up there actions perfectly.

The biggest thing that is the hardest to accept is that the person you fell in love with is not real and was just really your own projection of your ideal woman, which she mirrored perfectly back to you. I believe this is hard for men because they really don’t want to be wrong about their initial judgment and would go to great lengths to change the reality. For me, I read every borderline story in the world and scourged every article and medical document to prove that I could be the one to change this girl to be something she wasn’t. I didn’t want to believe the stories or the outcomes but they all end up the same way, with you manipulated, cheated on, in jail or with and STD if you stay long enough.

You will end up in jail because if you truly become attached to them you will fight for your cause, (not in a physical sense but emotionally) and if they are truly attached to you and they will fight for their cause harder, and for them to justify the horrible acts and lies they have done to you, they need to make you a bad person in their mind or it literally means death to them. You can also trigger very painful moments in them, when someone closet to them from childhood abused them, and they will now try to relive that moment in history and fix it because they were to weak to as a child. In their mind you trigger a past event and that is their reality in the moment.(ptsd). This is usually why the cops end up getting called,even if you never touched them. You trigger them.

You’ll get a std because they have absolutely no standards when it comes to sleeping with men, they are impulsive and if they are lonely they will literally sleep with a crack smoking homeless person to fill the void of emptiness inside them which is more painful than any of us can imagine.

Borderlines have been manipulating since they where in infancy to gain the approval and love from a unloving parental figure, so they have many years of perfecting the art which is a huge advantage over most people.

The only person who is capable to have any relationship with a borderline is a true psychopath, he may not be emotionally attached but that does not mean he will not suffer the same outcome as anyone else. Being manipulated, put in jail, or std.

The only possible way to have a relationship with these people is if they are actively aware of their diagnosis And actively fixing it. You will NOT change or fix them. Believe me if there is someone who has put more effort into it than me, it’s not going to happen. And even the attempt to try and fix them rings true to underlying issues with your self worth. You cannot change them. Their brain is literally formed differently than a normal functioning human. Their reality is not the same as the rest of the world. But sometimes you have to see things with your own eyes to believe them.

Sometimes we have to take the bumpy road in life to learn a lesson, but when there is a smooth paved road available (a truly healthy partner capable of reciprocating love) then there is no reason to stay on the bumpy road.

Borderlines are fascinating individuals and watching their drama can be enlightening, But soon is gets old. The good thing is once you know a borderline you can always spot them and you’ll always be armed with the knowledge to protect yourself against psychopaths you come across in your life. The biggest thing to learn is why you’re where attracted to someone who treats you badly and know that there are many good woman out there who will not treat you this way.

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy

As most of you wankers have no idea, what "a girlfriend" is, not to mention "marriage" and "having kids" or even "BPD girlfriend", let me give you a practical example.

Winter is coming. Ex-wife equips kids with a bag of skiing clothes so we can try them on and check if new clothes are required. Me and kids go to my place, try them on, I happily complete their skiing bags. Good. I pack some of the clothes back because they're too small.

Kids come back to mom, then shortly after I get a call from ex-wife. She's creating a hardcore shit-storm because she thought I gave away my kids thermal underwear, which I didn't. All I thought was, that I bought that (few years ago, mind that) so I left it at my place. Those clothes were worth shit. I buy new ones and give the old ones to her and make a promise to myself to never, ever share anything with that woman. This already means she won the battle but lost the war, because I have all the skiing equipment for kids and NO, I WILL NOT BORROW IT TO HER, as last year she was unwilling to cooperate once, when kids clothes were at her place. But that's only the start.

She's accusing me of giving away clothes, that she didn't even pack. Now I need to explain, that I am not a horse, right?

Another situation, from a year ago (it looks like her symptoms get worse in winter time). Me and my sons plan to go for a week of winter holidays. She tells me I can't take the youngest one, we discuss for a moment via phone, I tell her that I am fully prepared to take care of the youngest kid (2 yo at that time), will she let him spend time with me? She says "no" and I give up, OK, I won't fight about it any more and I agree to leave the youngest. 6 months after I hear, that I have left my son with her, that I've put her in trouble, etc. that I was unwilling to take him for winter holidays.

I had that call recorded and by that time I started to open my eyes on how fucked up she actually is.

This is how BPD works. Gas-lightning is one thing. Also, as she treats all the bullshit she believes in as truth, there is no way for any "critical judgement" centre in her brain to even activate, as WHAT SHE BELIEVES IS THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH.

Did I ever heard "sorry" from her? Well, once, when she dialled wrong number.

I was very hesitant to divorce and I think it totally sucks (marriage sucks too, but that's another story). The deal is, if you're married to a BPD, you already fucked up and if you want to grow, you need to ditch such person. There is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY such person can improve, all you can do is SAVE YOURSELF.

But but but but... if you need to read comments such as mine, because you didn't believe our godfather RPS at first... this means you're beyond salvation. So go now, text your mommy replacement, tell her that you miss her and you're really sorry for what you did last week, even if you remember that you didn't do the things you're being accused for.

This is why alcoholics/druggies are the best partners. When you're intoxicated, this actually means "FREE GASLIGHTNING" for her.

Ditch bitches. Leave unhappy marriages. RUN from BPD people.

Grow, goddamnit.

[–]SKRedPill1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I had a guy who was messaging me and continuously rationalizing the behaviour of his girlfriend, whom he suspected might be BPD. He wasn't willing to listen to me and kept justifying that it's not so bad. Then he admitted he was just 20 and this was his first relationship. The noobs.

[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is what he craved. Not wisdom not truth not waking up

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

It is all about that next high.

[–] points points | Copy

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[–]Endorsed Contributorex_addict_bro1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What’s important: why did I invite such person into my life

[–]snowmoose16 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy

Was together with one until i disposed the garbage on our one year day. First 3 months super nice sex, almost too submissive with everything, literally treated her like shit at one moment then flipped her and she kept fucking staying. Well then i had my suspicions in to what the fuck i was dealing with but since i’ve never had LTR with a BPD i had no clue. Some red flags here and there. Trust but verify.

Well on around month 7 shit was hitting the fan and i actually should have ghosted her but unfortunately i had oneitis and i honestly i, like someone wrote, started to question my sanity and my own value. Frustrating but i kept it going for three more months until i said fuck this, banged some other girls and dumped her. She was a pure psycho, put on the worst acting of crying whatever then turned completely cold and didn’t give a shit. That’s when i knew she actually had probably been together with me for the last months for my resources and probably was already looking for an escape during that time.

Gents: They are as good as they come in terms of manipulation. Look out from the start for symptoms and gtfo already. I learned from it.

[–]Shittybillyall3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

Almost identical to my situation brother, everything added up and came crashing down around 8 months in. Should of walked but stuck around and shit went nuclear. Any small disagreement would end up close to a domestic. Ended up dumping her through text to avoid any physical altercation or false claims then changed my number and deleted my social media.

[–] points points | Copy

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[–]Shittybillyall1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

We have a couple mutual friends so I'd hear immediately if she was up to any bullshit

[–]snowmoose11 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Stick around longer and you will get cheated on. It is already over when they start shouting and get mad.

[–]Shittybillyall1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ghosted her two months ago life is good now

[–]diggdeserter8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

Started dating a girl who was being treated for BPD. I had a restraining order against her within 10 days. BPD is serious

[–]5Imperator_Red4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Presumably these bitches have done this to other guys? Why the fuck aren't they committed to an asylum after they've done it few times?

[–]blackjustin2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

bruh these bitches lock theyself in the bathroom and get to pissing the floor and cuttin they self

[–]throwawaybpdnpd3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I’m a man who’s had to live with a mother who had undiagnosed BPD (borderline personality disorder) and NPD (narcissistic personality disorder) with the most BETA father anybody could ever have...

Trust me, BPDs are broken beyond repair; I cut all contact with my mother 4 years ago and it was the best decision of my life.

I ended up being a beta just like my dad, ended up with a BPD (who I got lied, manipulated, cheated on and dumped) then started researching then learned about TRP.

Since following TRP advice, I’ve never had any issue with women. I wish my dad could learn and apply all that but she completely destroyed any remaining part of self-esteem he may have left...


[–]lsarcreator2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

What do you do when it’s your mom?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Move out and cut off all contact period. If that means a complete social media wipe and/or any other form of traceability, it’s best in the long run.

It’s one of those questions that is very easy to answer from the outside looking in yet impossible to answer from the inside looking out.

[–]geonyks2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My mom had BPD. it was awful growing up. My mom would scream at us almost daily, and she would become completely consumed in God's wrath. She treated us and my dad like absolute garbage. As soon as I graduated high school I made sure to go to a college across the country, so that I could have minimal contact with her. The rule with BPD is you get out, even if it's your mom. Women with bpd despise men and their calmness even if he's her own son. It is truly a fucked up disease.

[–]WinjetRed2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I've been around quite a few girls that have diagnosed themselves with BPD. It's interesting now because looking at it after taking the pill it's obvious they were rationalizing their herpergamy and that they did not suffer this form of mental illness. I wonder what the advantage is in labeling yourself mentally I'll over trying to understand your at-odds choices in life?

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

The advantage is that it let's them behave as badly, cunningly, deceptively, and to be as cruel and evil as they choose- AND they get pass for all of it. You can't blame me because I have a sickness.

[–]FractalNerve1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The only goal is to avoid repercussions, blame, loss of fame and avoidance of the slut image. Raising the mental card is a free pass for shit personalities. Without BPD and still acting similar? heinous shit..

[–]UnionJesus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

What's interesting is just how many commenters here feel the same way. Look for the comments like "they're sick, it's not their fault" and etc.

[–]Auxfite2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

My ex 1 year was BPD. She still hits me up every other month trying to get back. But she does it in a hateful way. BPD people are the biggest liars and manipulators. Never again

[–]llrnhokllr2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Chick background : grew up with abusive aunts , her parents is really into gambling and not get along well with her , antisocial . When i first met her she told me she never had sex before but she ride me like a fucking porn star , and will always try to lure you into unsafe sex manipulative , unstable mood , got her once time threw a scissors nearly hit my eye cause i went out to buy ciggs and left her home for .. 15mins . When i realize something wrong and try to dump her , she starting to have suicidal behaviors like stand at the balcony and looking down ( like someone trying to suicide but lingering about wheter they should do it or not ) . On top of that she start to wrote story about me on her blog ( describe her as a naive victims and every of my friends start telling me that i should comeback to her , yikes ) TBH sex with these chick is just so good , but the consequences is much much greater

[–]BurnoutRS2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This sounds like the best fucking reality show ever.

Every season they take 20 or so BPD women and relocate them to some environment. Follow them with cameras. Watch as lives are destroyed.

Oh wait, thats just all of reality tv

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[–]synpse0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I found that group therapy helps a lot with BPD. I've got 3 hours a week 3 times a week. It seems to be rounding up the few areas that I missed on my own.

[–]RangerBass212 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dated a BPD for 3 years without knowing what BPD was. It was an absolute nightmare relationship and really does make you question your own sanity. I even lived with her for a year. I will say this, I am glad I dated a woman like this in my 20’s as it brought me to TRP and has forged me out of steel for my 30’s and completely changed how I interact with women I date in general. It was a necessary evil, but for the love of god do not knock one up or marry one. Period.

[–]TheGoldenLeprechaun3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

The DSM-5 is wrong on this one.

I'll explain BPD one more time thoroughly enough so you all understand. There is no such thing as Borderline Personality Disorder. It is a misdiagnosis of Psychopathic Narcissism. The reason why it is so widespread today is because it is a legitimately natural and advantageous strategy for surviving in a feudal civilization (Not necessarily the best). This isn't a knock on capitalism but it's outcome is always monopolistic. Further more, at the very edges of it's spectrum, top and bottom, it is monolithic in it's nature, in other words, it promotes eventual feudalism / oligarchy / whateverthefuck you wanna call it.

To simplify and explain. When the ideal resource is singular (currency), it is arguably in ones best interest to do anything and everything one can to acquire as much of it as possible. Thus, the psychopathy. The narcissism comes in to play via increasing amounts of social media addiction and usage(self explanatory?). The two combined create (PN), where one can and will value themselves and currency over every other consideration.

"Money over bitches." You've all heard that one before. It's been in rap music for decades. It is a pathological mantra. But most survival strategies in nature seem to be pathological anyway. Given that eukaryota are more closely related to archaea than to the more cooperative lifeforms like bacteria, it's not a far fetched to believe that our thought patterns could resemble something more akin to virus propagation. And less like insect cooperative feudal collectivism. Pathologies everywhere. You don't need me to tell you we're living in a mostly feudal society. When another man can roll up on your WIFE in an expensive car and they drive away without consequence to anyone but you.. When I can legally buy your mortgage under the protection of a corporation and evict you.. When I can get fed handouts after stealing your girl and evicting you.. LOL. How many examples are there?

You can throw out everything, all the terminology, all the diagnosis, just remember one fucking thing.

PN's will do any and everything they can to gain / maintain resources and notoriety. This goes for men and women in general (AWALT AMALT). The reason for the combination of psychopathy and narcissism is that social media allow you to convert money into fame and vice versa.

A strong nuclear family can override this pathology but with the breakdown of the family unit, well, you get it. This is why your ideal LTR requirements are usually someone who has a good relationship with their parents. Males happen to be slightly less susceptible even after the virtual dissolution of the nuclear family because of the cooperative hunt mechanism, which allows men to form strong trust bonds with other men. Often especially in times of urgent need.

Solution: 2 years minimum of limited or no use of social media, general exposure therapy, healthy diet. Outdoor exercise is also a form of exposure therapy and has many other beneficial qualities, especially regarding anxiety and general health.

TL;DR - BPD IS actually PN. And it is a survival adaptation for feudalistic civilizations not a disorder. It is a psychological strategy that allows it's host to justify getting what they want, whenever they want it, without much personal sacrifice.

Other thoughts: I'm not saying you can turn a ho into a housewife if you cut off her phone use and make her go on runs with you. But it'll fucking help. If she's already on SSRI's you're in for a fucking ride, but likely a diet change and exercise can eliminate 99% of her problems, and yours. But I don't recommend it unless.. nah. I just don't recommend fixing other human beings unless your own room is clean as fuck.

Common sense says lift, make money, don't wife up a ho who is on antidepressants or self mutilates via cosmetic surgery and call for help suicide attempts.

You're welcome.

EDIT: It must be said. NPCs are all pawns for PN's. But this you should already know.

[–]deepspace74 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

You may disagree with the DSM-5, but psychiatrists and the medical community are using this to diagnose and guide their treatment. I'm sure the medical community's agreement of the DSM-5 indicates they believe in the existence of BPD. I'm not sure what your qualifications are that you have more knowledge than doctors and researchers.

[–]Vic3361 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

People with BPD or a lot of the traits are difficult people. I have very very low tolerance for people with BDP.

[–]deepspace71 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

As someone who works in the mental health field I kindly urge you to only consider the DSM-5 criteria for BPD. That list below associates charateristics to BPD which may be there in someone who's diagnosed with the disorder, but it's not exclusive or indicative of BPD. The misleading information only adds to the fear and stigma of BPD. Also, one shouldn't diagnose unless one has the qualifications to do so.

BPD people are not "broken" or "will never be healed". They can be high functioning in most parts of their lives, yet in the one area of relationships they are poor. The best treatment is not CBT but DBT.

[–]old_ex_commie1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Hmmm, this sounds like my first wife.

She was seen by a number of psychiatrists, but none ever mentioned or even hinted at BPD.

I wonder...

[–]CharacterReindeer1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This hits the nail right on the head. Absolutely run from BPD women as fast as possible as soon as you realize. There is no fixing what ails them and they will never approach any kind of stability.

In addition to some of the flags noted:

*a lot of them are hoarders. Their sense of attachment/abandonment extends to their things. Tons of garbage piled up in the bed room and they absolutely freak out if you move some useless beat up shirt they haven't worn in 5 years? Freak. Out. * they are almost always addicts. Binge drinkers. Gamblers. Risk takers. Shoppers. Perpetually in a bind due to it, but it is never their fault. * Any attempt at rationalizing them with logic will lead to a full fledged meltdown with them accusing you of being a know it all. You could literally be a CPA explaining how to do taxes and they'll insist you're wrong. That's the type of disconnect you get to deal with. * Stay long enough and you'll deal with physical violence and eventually them trying to self harm. Dumping someone like this is hard because they will actually attempt to throw themselves out of a car on the highway or into traffic. * they move lightning fast in a relationship. They move twice as fast into the next one if you are smart enough to dump them. This is in part due to them almost always being cheaters too. But expect your replacement to move in a solid 2 months after dating.

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[–]Ceroe1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Congrats on being cancer free bro.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

a lot of people that get attracted to BPD are actually pretty narcassitic. BPD are known to shower you in attention and cling really hard which for a narcassist is great. You don't have to put a lot of effort in and are worshipped like a god. They call them war of the roses relationships because the fights are so explosive it's insane. It's like the classic codependent or avoidant/anxious trap on steroids.

[–]phatphullahs1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just remember, this is not a mental illness. This is a personality disorder. Personality disorders are just simply different categories of bad people.

[–]Acceptable_Camel2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I look at this list and just see normal Female behaviour to the extreme? There's nothing on that list that isn't normal chick stuff to a certain degree.

[–]gazzaa21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

In essence an extreme version of female behaviour is what BDP is, but you can't overemphasise the word extreme enough.

[–]immortal_wound3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I married my gf from high School for 3 years. I am not sure if it's the same as BPD but it does sounds familiar to this. She told me she has RAD(aka..Reactive Attached Disorder). I knew of her condition before we got married but I had it in me that everything is going to be fine. Turned out this disorder was the misery of what almost cost me my life. My relationship with her in those years was very chaotic. She shown signs of:

•. Displays inappropriate childish behavior

  • hell of of childish behavior, i thought I could tried to let her be her, but the way she socialize was different-

•. Seeks attachment from anyone

  • yeah I know of this and mostly eye fucking guys she finds exclusive, even though she caught me stairring at another girl, and tells me I'm emotionally cheating on her and basically draining her self-esteem -

•. Violates social boundaries

  • oh yeah I remember those days, this shit was also exclusive, and she was very good at it! It had me and the loose loose n my tummy turning, always caught her in her lies. And than one day she didn't get outta of this one. Found out he smooch up my little brother. After she done that shit. That entire time she didn't act with a tiny quilt in her actions. While she was with my sisters at church. She had it coming when my little brother told me, and I called the law on her ass. Because she manipulated my 14 year old brother for her own selfish interested. I asked her why, her respond "I don't know...". -

Yeah my relationship with a female with RAD had me insane. I thought I was being a hero to a female was a good thing, as how my parents raised me. Anyway, my life changed when I went out and seek salvation, and that's when I discovered the red pill. It changed my entire mindset. It helped sharpened my mind and see the truth. I know I met a girl with a disorder but even with or without a disorder you can still be foiled by a female. Though be cautious when you find a female with similar conditions. As well as bipolar disorder.

So yeah the story of my life, now I'm over it and left her and finding ways to work on myself....lol..Shit had it coming to me when she told me she has RAD. I don't know but something tells me ya need to be careful with this disorder too. Especially when a female has it.

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[–]andrewscool1012 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

If you really think so you need to see a doctor.

[–]Endorsed ContributorBluepillProfessor0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Being a pathological narcissist is common among playuhs cuz, you know, it works.

[–]iheartrms0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you! I was one of the confused.

[–]Hyperintelligentwolf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Extreme expression of emotions.

[–]throwabcdaway30 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Why is it so much of a topic here ? I mean i've never had ANYONE in my close social circle that ressemble something like that.

Yeah there are BPD people.. guys and chicks. There are people also who have peanuts allergies. How is it related to sexual strategy ?

[–]Ceroe3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Because you end up accidently fucking one of these people that go on to ruin your life using said strategy.

[–]Eldudearino890 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Listen to those with experience. Fucking leave. Wrap it if you go there even though you know the rule.

[–]bananasinpyjamas110 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

How do I best defend myself from the possibility of a BPD ex making false rape allegations???

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

you guys are way too high inhib. thats ur problem. Run LowInhibGame and it wont be an issue.

[–]lux_70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good post.

I had first hand personal experience with a BPD and now it's a bunch of crazy stories to share... Back then it was just a nightmare :).

Watch out with the "frantic effort to avoid abandonment" though.

That's also typical of the anxious attachment style, don't confuse the two here is how anxious looks like

[–]HypochondriacOxen0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Any advice on recovering from a LTR with someone with BPD? I've been out for 4 months and just now starting to see hope for myself, would appreciate advice on how to proceed. The experience destroyed my confidence, game and damaged my self-worth significantly.

[–]Shittybillyall1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Coming up on two months since I got out. You can read my storey in this thread. I've just been hanging out with my buddies more and working out everyday. Honestly you need to come to terms with the fact someone mentally ill was manipulating you and destroying your spirit. Once you realize this your confidence and self image will be back. Banging new chicks also helps. Goodluck brother

[–]Avertus0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

The thread is filled with terror tales of guys having an experience with BPD girls and anecdotal descriptions of the signs of BPD.

But has anyone addressed the wider scope of the rise of insanity among females in Western society for the last few decades? It isn't like the likelihood of meeting a woman with BPD or other serious mental health issues suddenly mushroomed overnight. Something that affected society at large must have caused this alarming spread of BPD. Is it feminism? More men becoming blue-pilled or emasculated? The overall change in lifestyle or culture of the West?

[–]rationalthought3140 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But has anyone addressed the wider scope of the rise of insanity among females in Western society for the last few decades?

The insanity of men and women is different. BPD Men typically tend to be violent and thus rather noticeable earlier on. Many of them end up in jail or dead. BPD women on the other hand can both hide it easier by their nature and by society shrugging its collective shoulder saying "chicks be crazy!" as though it were the norm.

Another factor is women unlike men are condition to blame everything on men and the patriarchy so they rarely confront their mental issues head on except to take meds. Many of them feel encouraged by their peers to embrace their craziness as part of their identity and female empowerment. And what they do is not simply physical violence but controlling and manipulating people. They often tear apart social groups from the inside and emotional abuse their partners. Violence is bad but scars heal better than emotional ones.

[–]AllahHatesFags0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good post, you have probably just saved at least one man's life. If anyone wants to see what can happen to a man who dates a thot with BPD look no further that the tragic case of Anthony Bourdain and Asia Argento.

[–]DimensionalQuake0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Whatever you do, run! They will make false legal claims and destroy your life. Run, run, run!

EDIT: This guy's blog really helped me through it all.

[–]Andgelyo0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Seems like girls with BPD are a red pilled man’s greatest nightmare. I’m surprised no one has come up with a solution on how to tame these wild beasts. Luckily, I’ve never come across such a girl (if I have, it was just a pump and dump).

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, good post. I hate when people talk about psychological disorders without actually understanding them.

[–]RPinthemaking0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I feel that with the rise of single motherhood, we're going to start seeing more and more of these girls and given that around ~80% of guys are beta, those that do stay with the mother of their child are not going to be in a position to have much influence on their daughter's development.

[–]liquorbaron0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Was in a "relationship" for a few years with one that was later diagnosed with it. What a fucking roller coaster of emotions she would put out. I'm bipolar II and her shit was way worse than any sort of bipolar shit. Blame me for something and then go off and cry. I would just laugh and go whatever. Twenty minutes later she'd come out of the room and would try cuddling with me. To this day I don't know if I was being alpha or just tired of dealing with her shit. Only good parts were she would do pretty much anything for you, could cook a good meal, and the sex was amazing. My only regret was not fucking her more and doing anything I wanted to her because she would have let me. Her emotions though were in some supercharged state. Oh and I fucked her on the first date and she immediately wanted a relationship afterwards to which when I said no she started crying. Stupid me though, not experienced and knowing any better, went into a relationship with her but at least it was really just for sex on my end. Mind you this was someone that was at a more mature age and still a fucking wreck of emotions.

Can't imagine trying to date a 20 year old borderline personality disorder chick. The immaturity and volatility of emotions at that age would be impossible to deal with. Like other's have said don't do it.

[–]CoachSDot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, cuz "Fuck mental illnes" right? There are also men with BPD, what would you say of them?

[–]captainsadness10100 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If she even has symptoms, get out ASAP. She might have it and it's not a risk you wanna take. There's always another girl, but no man is prepared to deal with anything like this.

[–]laurmasque0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

yep, ex best friend was like this. it's amazing how much she ruined my reputation yet made me feel as though i deserved it. I came out of this friendship and it was like a cloud had lifted. in the year without her my confidence has grown incredibly. I am a totally different person.

They really do change your life, manipulate you, exploit you. Being in a relationship with one must be hard but being friends with one is also awful. You're constantly a contender in competitions you didn't want to take part in and can't win, any partner they have is abusive in some way (sometimes even a rapist!) , you're an awful person all the time, people you barely know hate you with a seething passion because of scenarios that never took place. i will never EVER be friends with someone like this again. i do not feel sorry for them. i don't know my father either but i do not treat people with such awful disrespect and inhumanity. they are abusive people.

not all, i do know one, one single girl, who i feel the genuine struggle and pain for her, but in general they are very abusive and there is no line they won't cross.

[–]TruthSeekingPerson0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The name of the disorder (Borderline) comes from the initial belief that the individual with the disorder was bordering on psychotic. I don't believe that is the common belief now but it shows how serious this disorder is. I do not believe there is a cure for it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Based off of that criteria you have successfully described every single woman I have ever met.

[–]Islam-Delenda-Est2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Maybe move out of the trailer park?

[–]TheWorldOfPugs0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Lol I’m married to one. You just gotta learn not to care. They either fall into line or leave you. Remember the rule about not caring to lose her? She’ll do it eventually

[–]Auxfite3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

I applied the same with my ex. But she would get violent and hit me when I laughed at her rage or crying. Being married to one is insane

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[–]majaka12348 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Are... Are you gaslighting in a thread about gaslighting?

[–]Psynaut2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Having BDP requires years of cognitive behavioral therapy. And that is just to function in society. They will never be healed. They are broken. 

That's not a fair statement.

Oh you sweet summer child. Bless your innocent heart.

[–]Morphs_2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your endless lists of research material have little value compared to the stories told by our brothers. Having had similar experiences as other guys in here, I say it's true: it is foolish to think you can save or fix them. Because they are broken, period.

[–]Do not send modmail to my personal inboxCrazyHorseInvincible[M] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

This is clearly your pet issue. But TRP is not your soapbox. The point of this article is to help men avoid women who are insane in a way that makes them vicious. The point of TRP is to help men. Not for you to proselytize your favorite agenda, regardless of whether your case has merit in the absolute sense or not.

If you are not here to help men with sexual strategy, or get help with sexual strategy, you are in violation of rule zero. First and only warning.

Your comment has been removed.

[–]EndTorture1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Rule 0:

  • " TRP's mission is to discuss men's identity, sexual strategy, and options in the context of our current global culture for the benefit of men."

I did not say anything against that. I support the idea that men should understand their identity, sexual strategy, & options in the benefit of men.

I said that one sentence posted here (that "BPD" is unfixable like it's caused by your genes) is used to hurt men, & not biologically correct.

Q. How is it used to hurt men?

A. All sorts of abusive women claim their ex partners were "BPD psychos."

In the post you censored I wrote:

please note lots of men get accused of similar things, not only "BPD" but being "psychopaths" and "violent crazy people", and people act like these labels are biological diseases.

My point ("this line of reasoning is used against men all the time") is not against men.

So please uncensor my comment.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

It's when you just piggyback off of that last post about bipolar for cheap karma and internet respek

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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