This comes up every couple months and I see a lot guys misunderstanding BPD and thinking it's similar to depression or bipolar disorder.
It is so, so much worse.
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) - The DSM Criteria
BPD is a pervasive pattern of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
- Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. [Not including suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5]
- A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.
- Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.
- Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, promiscuous sex, eating disorders, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). [Again, not including suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5]
- Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.
- Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days)
- Chronic feelings of emptiness.
- Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).
- Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.
One of the best ways I've heard it described is Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde.
When they're Dr. Jekyll, it might be the highest feeling to be with them. They will be extremely intense, energetic, outgoing, playful and very persuasive. It's intoxicating and can draw you in.
But when things turn to Mr. Hyde it's like a different person altogether. It will catch you off guard.
It's not mood swings. It's much worse.
It's periods of dissociation.
It's subconscious gas-lighting.
Catastrophizing, Chaos Manufacturing, Circular Conversations, Denial, Dependency, Fear of Abandonment, and so much more.
People close to them starting to question their own realities.
They remember conversations that never took place, threaten you with blackmail and demand recompense for crimes that have never been committed. They forget real conversations and facts and substitute them with their own versions of events or completely fabricated days- weeks- even months.
They lie to their friends about you, and they lie about their friends to you. They never tell the same story twice, and can never be nailed down on a single accounting of events.
If confronted with any inconsistencies in their story or behaviors they can and will become violent. Physically violent.
And god help you if you defend yourself. You will be arrested on the false claims they make.
They don't feel bad or guilt. They don't know they're dissociating. They believe in their world, even though it changes from minute to minute.
Absolutely do not think you can tame one. You can't.
Having BDP requires years of cognitive behavioral therapy. And that is just to function in society. They will never be healed. They are broken.
Do yourself a favor and learn this list: http://outofthefog.website/personality-disorders-1/2015/12/6/borderline-personality-disorder-bpd