How do you guys respond to something like this? I want him to plan the date.

thotsupdoc · 2019-12-30T22:20:31+00:00

[deleted]

psychsense · 2019-12-30T22:26:10+00:00

Men are incapable of doing the bare minimum emotional labor of planning a date.

ldnsurvival · 2019-12-30T22:31:30+00:00

It's so frustrating... this kind of noncommittal response takes the wind out of the sails and instantly makes me feel like this is going to be a chore that I will have to take the lead on. Tbh it makes me drier than cream crackers m8

cassabell1894 · 2019-12-30T22:30:13+00:00

He's testing, to see if he has to make any effort or not. Personally I wouldn't answer. Eventually he either realises he has to be a proper man and plan something, and messages you with a plan, or he doesn't do anything. It's a wait and see scenario. I wouldn't suggest anything. They always try to see if they can get away with low effort first off.

janeaustenfan99 · 2019-12-30T23:21:28+00:00

I would not respond any further, as I’m not compatible with men like this.

cherieblosum · 2019-12-31T01:36:29+00:00

He sounds super lazy which makes him unattractive.

rftw2013 · 2019-12-30T23:26:37+00:00

When men do this shit, I find it infuriating. You're the man; step up and plan the date. This is lazy, LVM behavior on full display right here.

I had a man do this last week. For some reason, he couldn't say: "How about dinner on Thursday?" He texted, "Great, let me know when you are available." I rolled my eyes and replied, "I'm available Xday and Yday." He said, "Great, let me know where you want to go." I replied, "I prefer that you lead." But honestly? I can already tell from our interaction that he's not going to be assertive enough for me, so I will likely just next him if he ever does get around to actually texting me back about dinner this week.

My response to this situation above would be, "Great, I'm available on Tuesday and Wednesday evening," and then let him take the ball and run with it. Or not.

But please, for the love, ladies: You do not need to plan dates. That is his job. If you help plan the date, don't be surprised when you're invited to split the bill. Let these lazy, LVM weed themselves out by refusing to plan. It makes your job of vetting them that much easier. Your time is too precious to entertain a LVM.

More on this here: https://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ehs81b/ladies_if_you_overfunction_in_your_interactions/

kimikupkake · 2019-12-30T23:04:12+00:00

The passive aggressive in me wants to suggest sending him a 👍 and leaving it there

dackaroo · 2019-12-31T02:22:21+00:00

Ghost.

2019-12-31T02:30:35+00:00

Dude sound lazy... No emotional labour whatsoever... I'm not sure if any reply would motivate him

macguffin99 · 2019-12-31T12:43:25+00:00

If he can’t organise a date, he sure as hell cant organise a fulfilling life together.

turquoiseblues · 2019-12-31T03:58:27+00:00

Leave him on read until he steps up.

AnnieandFish · 2019-12-31T14:50:10+00:00

Good thing he’s up for staying home alone on date night, because that’s the return on zero effort.

throwawayz187y · 2019-12-31T01:15:47+00:00

I agree with the other commenter, he wants to see if he’ll have to put in effort. You’re a date, not one of the boys he’s going to hang with, so he should be trying to court YOU. Tell him, “If you think of something let me know!”

2019-12-31T08:43:26+00:00

This is a lazy, LVM. Cut him off.

extraacct1234 · 2019-12-31T01:18:53+00:00

He's really dodging all your hints there.

Next time say yeah it would be great to see you and when he throws the ball back in your court yet again simply do not respond for at least an hour or two. He'll come up with something real quick.

_HEDONISM_BOT · 2019-12-31T01:47:35+00:00

Don't respond. Ghost him until he responds without arrogance and actually suggests something feasible.

You fucked up at "I go back to Cheltenham on the 11th".

Don't be too eager, EVER again.

Also never respond to "here's my number XXX-XXX-XXXX. Call me". Ghost his ass. NO, YOU ask ME for MY number. You do NOT pursue him. He must pursue you. and if he doesn't pursue?? He's an arrogant ass and you dodged A MISSLE, acquaintance zone his ass and move him to the bottom of your scrotation.

NEXT!

heartbreakandseance · 2019-12-31T21:18:09+00:00

Side note: Being an open book means you're easy to read and transparent, not up for anything. I think he's using that term incorrectly.

I would ignore his last text and see if he follows up with plans.

logician01 · 2019-12-31T04:34:37+00:00

The really confusing part is that then they actually wonder why we ghost. Coomer, you couldn’t stop the video game to jerk it cycle for 10 mins to use your brain and come up with an idea. Go coom on yourself and sit texting me till the 10th later since you last showered crusts on you. Lmao I ain’t goin nowhere with you at this point!

Haltthemoon · 2019-12-31T22:32:34+00:00

Nope. Block and move on. LVM. Don't give him any more attention.

BlueSeaWilt · 2020-01-08T22:10:22+00:00

You've probably resolved this by now but this happened with my last guy. Took me sailing on our first date and I was over the moon about him. Didn't bother me too much that in the following fortnight I only saw him when we spent time with our mutual friends. Mutual friend mentioned the guy was going overseas for work a week from then. I began organising a send-off date. Except he won't suggest anything and it's two days before he goes. Mutual friend tells me the trip is two months, and I was hurt so I decided I would hang out with the friend and just invite the guy along. The guy still won't say what works for him so I just told him to have a good trip and never spoke to him again.

Found out later that our friend had effectively set up that first date. He knew the guy liked me but that the guy just won't make a move, which was why his last girlfriend left him. The red flag should have been that he asked me out over text anyway.

ScrappleSandwiches · 2019-12-30T23:28:05+00:00

IMO be honest and tell him what show/restaurant he should take you to. Then if all else fails you at least had good food and had fun.

Title	How do you guys respond to something like this? I want him to plan the date.
Author	thotsupdoc
Upvotes	33
Comments	45
Date	December 30, 2019 10:19 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/eht60h/how_do_you_guys_respond_to_something_like_this_i/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-do-you-guys-respond-to-something-like-this-i.685917 https://theredarchive.com/post/685917

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