Do women ever deny a man that they are sexually attracted to an ONS because they consider him an attractive LTR partner? Do these same women engage in ONS with men they are equally sexually attracted to but not romantically?

Reisiluu · 2020-06-29T22:35:56+00:00

I'm pretty sure that the women having ONS are not the same ones who refuse to have a ONS with their crush.

Being denied a ONS is such a weird way to put it. Like you were supposed to have access but someone stopped you. It reminds me of how different men and women can be. Most women want to spend time with a guy they like, be in his presence, give him children and never say goodbye. Some men say they want to avoid dating a girl because that's for chumps, and they want a fair share of her body like it's a sliced cake and then just forget about her afterwards. I don't get why anyone would want to give these creatures what they want.

SplushkaMcOwlFace · 2020-06-29T20:10:47+00:00

Women who don't practice promiscuity refuse ONS with men even If they find those men attractive and good looking. Being attractive is not enough reason for sex.

PersonalJudge · 2020-06-30T01:33:35+00:00

Women I know who participated in ONS would have sex with men they saw as LTR potential straight away to check for sexual compatibility.

Most women I know wait to have sex because they wait to have sex. They don't do ONS at all and they like to take their time and get to know a guy first.

People on here talk like all women jump into bed straight away if the guy is hot enough. I suppose that could happen but I've never seen it. Some women are the type to go to bed early on, and they usually aren't that picky about with who. Most women wait to a varying degree.

Women who wait usually advise more promiscuous women to wait also. I've never seen a promiscuous woman actually take that advice, but I suppose it happens.

flamingoinghome · 2020-06-29T21:53:40+00:00

What are you even imagining here? Your crush saying "Would you like to have a ONS with me?" Because that happens.....never? Never sounds right.

That said, you're quite right that "being sexually attracted to someone" is not sufficient reason to have sex with them, at least for me. I have to also like and trust and give a damn about them.

philomexa · 2020-06-30T00:33:24+00:00

I consider a vanishingly small amount of men attractive. Of those men I only want a relationship with them, and will only have sex within a relationship.

I don't understand why this is so complicated?

Substantial_Wasabi · 2020-06-29T21:24:02+00:00

yes, there was this one guy that i found to be 10/10 looks wise, and we were talking/dating for a bit and things didn't work out so we ended up not having sex or doing anything. I wasn't gonna sleep with him just because he was hot, the communication was so bad.

thetruthishere_ · 2020-06-29T20:51:07+00:00

I dont do ONS/hookups/casual.

Ive passed on plenty of good looking men in my day that just wanted sex. We dont want the same things so its a pass.

Some of those really attractive men's lives were a mess and full of red flags too.

rosephase · 2020-06-29T20:49:30+00:00

When I was having a bunch of casual sex... I wasn't even necessarily attracted to the guy. I was excited by the attention and my "ability" to get sex. It took me awhile to figure out that sex with actual attraction was a whole different thing.

SaBahRub · 2020-06-29T20:38:13+00:00

Do we try to avoid getting used for sex/pumped n dumped? Uh, what do you think?

2020-06-29T22:24:15+00:00

I dated couple of men who I found very attractive and I never had sex with them (that also means oral, oral sex is still sex).

So yeah, there are women who refuse to sleep with a guy even though they find him hot.

SmurfESmurferson · 2020-06-30T03:27:33+00:00

No. I will not LTR a man unless I want to rip his clothes off with my teeth on the first date. All of my LTRs - including my decade-long marriage - started with sex on the first date

Infammo · 2020-06-29T20:52:16+00:00

This is just gobbledygook to me. I don't think like this at all. Usually if a guy is rejected its because he's creepy, a misogynist, lazy or gross in some other way. He has to be attractive for me to even talk to him. Then they usually see themselves out by acting like they wouldn't be a good fuck or a good partner. Even if he seems like a good fuck I'm not getting intimate w him unless he seems respectful, into pleasuring women, and fun to be around.

waxedmintfloss · 2020-06-29T22:06:24+00:00

Yes, I do both because men only consider you relationship material/ fall in love if you don’t put out right away.

AggravatingTartlet · 2020-06-30T09:03:57+00:00

Yes and yes.

Sometimes.

Women might have an ONS with a man that are LESS sexually attracted to - because they just felt like some NSA fun.

gaylord_dEo · 2020-06-29T20:37:49+00:00

Slut here. When I'm looking for just casual sex it's gotta be he's sexy in some way. Sometimes its just some kind of disposition even; but the more casual I'm looking the more shallow my standards are. That's when I go after the real hot guys who look easy to me because no one spends that much time in the gym unless they want to be a human sex toy.

However for dating I've dated really really ugly guys but they were rich so the money made me wet.

781234567 · 2020-06-29T22:50:20+00:00

I turn down the first and second sexual propositions for every guy. I do this partly to see how they react are they going to respect that boundary or are they going to get pushy? If they can’t respect my decision and get pushy I am done with that person. I also do it because I only sleep with people I would want a LTR from. That distinction is easier to make the longer you date.

My number one reason to wait for sex is STD’s! Talking to someone about std’s and testing is a lot easier with someone you’re already comfortable with and I think someone you have a genuine connection with is going to be more truthful about their status. By waiting a bit you also just end up sleeping with fewer people so less sexual partners means less exposure to STD’s.

Keep in mind this is from someone who doesn’t do ONS’s period though.

There are certainly women out there that make some partners wait and some not. I think to successfully and happily date you have to realize that you cannot control people’s actions and you simply cannot know the motivations behind those actions. Let go of your many strict expectations and just enjoy what you do get.

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MerryVegetableGarden · 2020-06-30T02:39:14+00:00

https://youtu.be/sj8uRg-Y3Xk?t=89

roundabout44 · 2020-06-30T12:51:01+00:00

Yes, they do but they will let you know that you're not fucking because she's acting nice, not because you're unattractive. Possibly subtly.

And they will deny sex to a potential LTR only if they've vetted him as a guy who would wait (not "alpha" enough). Otherwise, they won't risk it and will jump into bed and hope for the best.

ivy176 · 2020-06-30T13:49:01+00:00

I don't do a one night stand or casual sex or fwb or sex within the first few weeks or anything like that, it doesn't matter who it is. It's not on the table.

spacechicken1990 · 2020-07-01T10:59:58+00:00

Nah I've never done that, I like to test drive the car before I buy it.

Worked both times so i guess i must be doing something right.

I hate this idea sex is something women give up to men rather than just two ppl who like eachother fucking.

If men stopped shitting on women who enjoy ons then sex would be less coveted, women wouldt lie about n count n we would all be a lil bit happier. But until men stop viewing sex as a conquest this wont happen.

2020-07-01T19:19:49+00:00

Hmmmm, I had 1 ONS ( which made me feel awful about myself and I never did it again), but every other guy that I dated I didn't sleep with them right away. I didn't string them along because I only dated men that I was really attracted to. And I needed a few dates ( really it was just more like informal hanging out or going places we both liked instead of the more formal "dinner/drinks" which I tended to avoid) to see if there was sustained interest on the part of the guy and if we had enough in common thatcould turn into a relationship. I didn't date very much ( compared to my friends) because I had to feel a strong level of attraction to the guy, which I just didn't feel very often. And once I was dating them it was pretty common for the relationships to last anywhere from six months to 5 years.

notetaking83 · 2020-06-29T23:09:57+00:00

My brother had a friend like this, and the guy seemed to have some self-esteem issues; something was very off. I imagine the women he was with similarly had self-esteem issues. This was a person engaged in this frequently, not like a one time thing.

A grounded person will usually date someone they have known for a while-- via classes, same community, same church, friends of friends. They know each other's social circles and backgrounds; so, the whole scenario of a ONS is simply not attractive for a lot of people, especially if it's someone you have to encounter on a daily basis.

The older you get, you realize the weight of consequences. You f-ck someone at work or in your community and toss them (and others find out), you f-ck yourself.

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