Hi! I love reading this sub. I’m lucky to be married to a great man now but I’m definetly seeing now the stupid things I did for low value men in the past…

Anyway, was looking for advice on if and how i should help a coworker. I’m a manager in a big company and I hired this girl Lisa about 3 years ago fresh out of college. She was a great asset to my team, eager to learn, hard worker & lots of potential. She’s 26 now and I’m 32, and she kinda reminded me of my younger self. We got to know each other quite well over the years. Unfortunately for her, she became involved with a much older man who basically just used her ( you know the same old story) leaving her with a broken heart and low self esteem. Last summer it ended for good. I advised therapy, which she didn’t do but she seemed to be doing better slowly Earlier this year, she happily told me she found a new boyfriend and was head over heels. I was happy for her because he sounded like a nice guy, was her age, had a steady carreer etc.

Now I’m seeing some red flags.

  1. She quit her job with our team. She was in tears when she resigned, saying she would miss our team and the company so much but the pressure was too much. We are a high stress sales environment so I understand this but she was thriving before. The past year during the pandemic was very hard and we had other people leaving as well. I was sad to see her go off course but I firmly believe that you should change jobs if you feel like your heart isn’t in it anymore. When talking a little deeper I was surprised to learn that she accepted another position which is basically an entry level job for recent grads at a much lower pay! Why would she do that? She then tells me that her priorities have changed, the work life balance is more important and her new boyfriend is off work at 4pm….. She tells me they discussed it together and he fully supports her

  2. She tells me today they are moving in together. After only 4 months of dating. ‘ I spend all my nights there so it only makes sense’

  3. Then she tells me she will rehome her two cats ‘ because he is anti-cats and his building doesn’t allow pets’.

I’m getting a bad feeling about all this but is there anything I can do as a (former) manager? Will I be overstepping? Next week is her final notice week, should I wait until I’m no longer her manager?

I know for a fact she was lonely, often expressing her desire to find a good men. We’ve talked a lot about it after her breakup with the older guy but I’m afraid she’s diving head first in a trainwreck of a relationship.