Don’t talk to any of your exes. ANY.

thatjimmylove · 2021-06-28T00:11:46+00:00

It is so telling that he blames your therapist that is not "for him" aka doing their job and supporting their clients best interests and not his. Sometimes I don't understand how they lack self reflexivity but apparently it is not that common based on how he expressed these feelings and did not stop to consider his own role in the relationship, nope it is the evil therapists fault.

BBQCoolRanchQueen · 2021-06-28T00:40:50+00:00

So you going to therapy and finding out he was a scrote was the "problem". Problem solved. Fuck him. Next!

yoursultana · 2021-06-28T01:15:01+00:00

Well firstly, your ex is not a good guy. He is a NVM. HVM wouldn’t do that.

Your ex is especially concerning Bc he wanted someone who trained you to accept abuse rather than someone who taught you to assert boundaries and expectations. He sounds like a narc abuser.

anxious-star · 2021-06-28T01:58:43+00:00

My first ex did this. Blamed me for getting therapy and not talking to him about the trigger that happened. He would beg me to tell him and buy me Journals and then force me to let him read them because it would help.him understand me. Its been 6 years and he still finds ways to message me. Fucking crazy ass

myeggsarebig · 2021-06-28T10:42:40+00:00

Therapist of sorts here. Do you know how many controlling men made their wives fire me because they were becoming empowered?!?!

A LOT.

Good for you, Queen. Block-delete!!

seashellsupplier · 2021-06-28T07:54:45+00:00

My ex literally broke up with me a month after I started therapy and had set the tiniest of new boundaries (he was away on a intership and I told him he needed to call me more than once every three weeks). Two days after I had set the first real boundary in our relationship he broke up with me! Just made me realize how weak he was. All of the breakup reason were pure projection and the only real bad thing he could say about me was that I was clingy (hard to not be when you’re only getting crumbs). So the breakup actually boosted my confidence because I knew if I had actually done something wrong he would have told me. Didn’t work out for him though cause he kept asking me to be friends because I was his best friend and he didn’t want to be without me. 🙄

edoth · 2021-06-28T02:03:06+00:00

WAIT WHAT DID HE SAY HELL NO HE DOES NOT GET TO SAY THAT F@&k no

the-worst- · 2021-06-28T14:42:36+00:00

I recently had a similar situation happen. An ex contacted me, said he just wanted to be friends, etc. He's married now.

And then after less than a week he said stuff like "you're the only one I ever loved!" And talking about how he's thought of me every day since then.

I messaged his wife to let her know he was trying to get back with me, and blocked and deleted him.

"Just wanna be friends!" ... fucking liars.

Far_from_deceived · 2021-06-28T11:54:57+00:00

my Ex did the same.

He sent me an email to ask my new phone number and then started talking to my family as well. I politely spoke to him because I thought we could be friends, since we ended up well, no fights or cheating, but then this scrote one day, out of nothing said that his time with me was the best of his life 🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮🤮 as if I would respond positively.

We don’t want these scrotes back, but they always want to check if they can get back together with us.

You are right. We have to block otherwise these zombies keep coming back.

Dazzling_Grass1727 · 2021-06-28T08:34:15+00:00

If you have the ability to self reflect, reflect on what you need to do to make your life better and practice those things.

I never understood why anyone stay friends with their exes, unless if you were briefly blind dating but to me there just seems to be too much going on for there to be any good feelings to remain in a friendship.

Unless of course, you never really loved each other and were just using each other for I don't know what reasons.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2021-06-28T16:21:47+00:00

you going to therapy was part of the problem

😡😡😡😡😡😤 I hope this dude gets smacked by something foul smelling. Honestly. If you prioritizing mental health means he'll be deterred to hang around you like a parasite, then so be it.

Le: autocorrect

MsWriteNow07 · 2021-06-28T01:23:28+00:00

It's really interesting that your woman therapist was for him and your male therapist saw through him and encouraged you to hold him accountable. That's the opposite of what I would expect.

arnezuara · 2021-06-28T07:05:56+00:00

That’s why it’s important to vet your therapists, too.

samskeyti_ · 2021-06-28T15:29:32+00:00

I never discuss therapy with my boyfriends/men I'm dating. They know I go to therapy, and that if I want to discuss something with them, I will. It's my health care, dammit. If it doesn't affect them, it's none of their business unless I want them to know.

One scrote told me that if I wanted to be 'long term' with him, that I needed to stop taking anti-depressants because 'wHAt iF we TrY for A BaYBEe.' Boy, bye.

Kernowek1066 · 2021-06-28T07:35:54+00:00

Ugh have we dated the same person? My ex was like this. I gave him far too many chances trying to explain what he needed to change and after not being listened to for so long I broke it off. He had the audacity to pull a shocked pikachu face and say I should’ve made him understand and that it was my job to put things in a way he could understand them 🤦‍♂️🙄 somehow, this man actually got engaged recently. I’m so glad it wasn’t to me.

pomidorich · 2021-06-28T07:42:29+00:00

Just went through something very similar. Despite not even bring romantically involved and turning him down repeatedly (although he was interested), he still felt entitled to my time and patience. Done, blocked and deleted. Good riddance.

SaintSeven-s7 · 2021-06-28T16:09:49+00:00

So, basically he was so insecure that he needed your therapist for validation? What joke... you are definitely better off. It's not your responsibility to be someone's security blanket.

candyfox84 · 2021-06-28T18:40:16+00:00

It comes with maturity, imo. To me, it's hard to talk to exes without reverting back to a pseudo-relationship. I think it's a gimmick for people who deny this, and it holds them back in ways they can't always perceive.

Elegaunt · 2021-06-28T22:20:41+00:00

"Who cares if they didn’t meet your needs? You met theirs, so you should communicate until you’re blue in the face with patience bc they LoVe you. You’re their SoUlMaTe because FeElInGs."

Oh god, this is causing me flashbacks! Throw in expecting me to withstand his abuse and neglect because he LOVES me, and you have my NVX.

blackwidowe · 2021-06-28T18:33:12+00:00

I have broken up with good people that i just wasn't compatible enough with. Not enough common interests, etc.

I still talk to them.

People shouldn't talk to ANYONE that treats/treated them like shit. Doesn't matter who it is.

Title	Don’t talk to any of your exes. ANY.
Author	orangeboobert
Upvotes	892
Comments	66
Date	June 28, 2021 12:08 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/o98v7a/dont_talk_to_any_of_your_exes_any/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/dont-talk-to-any-of-your-exes-any.787462 https://theredarchive.com/post/787462

Comments