How do nonbinary people fit into the general dating lore?

GYN-k4H-Q3z-75B · 2021-07-12T15:51:24+00:00

Isn't it kind of the point that they don't fit?

ErrendeEbecee · 2021-07-12T16:04:04+00:00

Also I'd prefer to discuss this rather than your opinion on gender

Can't have one without the other.

2021-07-12T19:37:14+00:00

They are still attracted for different reasons. For example, they are still attracted in masculinity and/or femininity but in a non traditional fashion.

I will use a gay man as an example and try to extrapolate it out: A gay man can see a bear as HUGELY masculine and be turned on. That same gay man can see a twink as a more feminine form and be turned on. Same dude attracted to two different types of guys but only attracted to guys.

I am attracted to feminine women and also athletic women who are not as "feminine". Two different types of women get me fired up but I am only attracted to women.

I believe that a binary person is attracted to their version of feminine/masculine and are simply capable of seeing attraction in both the masculine and feminine. I have a binary friend who claims that they like being with me because I make them feel petite and pretty. They also like being with another person because they get to control everything. They get to be feminine with me and masculine with the other person.

You know, maybe a binary person is also attracted/enjoys sometimes being the masculine aggressor while other times enjoys being the feminine recipient of the aggression. In short, maybe sometimes they want to be chased while other times they want to chase?

Ultimately, we are all the same: We want some sweet sweet lovin' with someone we don't hate :)

kombucha_and_makeup · 2021-07-13T10:20:05+00:00

Nonbinary ideology is just a nonsense fad that will die out in a few years. I'm female but I don't wear makeup and high heels everyday, does that mean I'm a non-woman? The vast majority of women (bio females) don't perform exaggerated femininity 24/7, does that mean they're all non binary? Was Amelia Earhart non-binary? Saying that women who don't conform to femininity aren't "real women" is regressive. "Non binary" people are still male or female so the same dating rules apply to them.

Mimoxs · 2021-07-12T19:00:31+00:00

They don't

The general populace does not want to date trans or nb people. It's not mean or wrong it's just the way things are. They tend to date each other and remain in their own small circles.

And although yes I get you don't want to discuss opinions on gender, you have to realize that the vast majority of cis men do not really view people as anything other than their bio sex. Even if they respect it and treat people as such to their face, we all know what they think deep down. I think even the trans/nb crowd themselves knows this, even if very few people on either side admit it.

As such, seeing as a very large portion of nbs are afab, they just categorize them as part of the group of undesirable women, along with BPD women, nerd women etc. They're invisible to them, so it doesn't matter.

I989er · 2021-07-12T15:36:17+00:00

They do not fit.

Emervila · 2021-07-12T16:59:28+00:00

The Red Pill is heterosexual and the manosphere too, period.

Maybe other factions have something to comment but we mind only our own business in dealing with women

FreierSteinkopf · 2021-07-12T16:21:11+00:00

If I remember correctly 97% of people wouldn't date a trans person and I assume it's somewhat similar with nonbinary folk but less so.

Imreadytocommentnow · 2021-07-12T22:28:12+00:00

I imagine people that are nonbinary have many conversations with themselves about what they think they want out of a partner. I bet they are extremely communicative out of necessity. It is probably a blessing and a curse to be nonbinary because you get to define a lot for yourself and not try to stick to traditions based on the sex you were born with.

xQueen-Bx · 2021-07-12T17:05:02+00:00

they dont, they are irrelevant to TRP and pretty much to everyone else too

PlayfulLawyer · 2021-07-12T21:44:41+00:00

Probably not very well since it's not a real thing

superlurkage · 2021-07-12T19:43:05+00:00

The pills/manosphere is interested in determinism, absolutism, generalizing and segregating, so you are barking up the wrong tree to begin with

cowfishAreReal · 2021-07-12T15:47:28+00:00

I think the amount of people that would date a non binary person isn't big. But the amount of non binary people isn't big either so as far as I know it should work out. I only know 3 non binary people on total, one is dating a girl, one fucks around mostly guys, and one seems to not be that interested in dating. Those are all college age people

TheBookOfSeil · 2021-07-12T18:21:54+00:00

They don't. Non-binary would be a totally different category.

blackandlavender · 2021-07-12T16:10:27+00:00

Lol non binary is nothing but a new fad. There's no use getting analytical about their dating prospects.

BlackPorcelainDoll · 2021-07-12T17:46:27+00:00

All the "non-binary" people I see are literally males and females in opposite sex clothing lmao.

Distinctions without important difference. A straight male that cross-dresses or has a feminine personality for a male is still straight or bisexual male that wants tear pussy up. You've never met a bisexual woman that still rides the dick and fancies men like a straight woman? Like separation, what for. A lot of this stuff still applies.

A non-conforming 'masculine' ENTJ woman in a pantsuit still wants to thrown upside a wall and plow-drived by a sexually dominant man, and it's my experience these people would not take kindly to being called "non-binary" just because they don't fit. Tomboys are not less women nor less female.

There are so many non-conforming people that DON'T KNOW what you're talking about bro. The majority of women haven't conformed to trad-con gender stereotypes or NEVER DID in DECADES and never labelled themselves different or felt so excluded they needed extra chairs. This women exaggerate how manly they even are. No man is intimidated of a 5'2" angry Hillary Clinton in a pantsuit, you don't have to exclude yourself from all the other girls.

By the stereotypical definition, they can fall in line anywhere and have the exact same dating rituals; but want excess and special attention for what. They exclude themselves from the party and sit in a corner, although they already blend in because androg people are indistinguishable from everyone else.

A female that got a haircut and wears a pantsuit is not the opposite sex; so why would they follow different rituals. 😆 A transwoman done right that asserts with such strong belief she is a woman WILL blend in with women just fine and should fall in line with the rest of the women; yet transwomen want to exclude themselves from cis-women when they are already INCLUSIVE because they are "women" in the first place. So why would their dating rituals and desire be so vastly different from the natural born female in psychology to the extent they must be afford "inclusion" into it.

It's almost like some shit ain't adding up?

SonicBackScratcher · 2021-07-12T16:28:06+00:00

"Hi, just so you know I'm non-binary"

"Oh thats interesting, well it was very nice meeting you, I'll see you later maybe."

Its a nonsense umbrella term that means nothing other than they got issues.

Quick_Feeling_4949 · 2021-07-12T16:41:02+00:00

They don’t fit anywhere, most people wouldn’t bother and you’d probably reduce your viable dating pool even further.

I989er · 2021-07-12T17:05:15+00:00

A subset of queer people who've adopted a lot of ideas that make them undateable to anyone outside their ingroup and perhaps the transsexuals and will basically be left to mate amongst themselves?

I mean, it just seems like opting out of the mainstream dating pool entirely and committing yourself to finding someone else in that niche.

flamingoinghome · 2021-07-12T16:07:02+00:00

Most of this sub is only interested in, like, really aggressively straight dating dynamics, so I doubt most posters here have even considered the dating experiences of NB people.

From what I've seen from my nonbinary friends and acquaintances, they're a lot less into the whole "ugga ugga, manly man chase pretty lady" dating scene anyway, and a lot of them are in poly relationships.

Gravel_Roads · 2021-07-12T16:40:12+00:00

Most nb folks I know tend to be bisexual/into other divergent genders, (as in actually like when partners have mixes of both male and female features). So it’s mostly gonna be well outside the general straight dating world, where people don’t tend to rely or care about straight dating tropes. Most people who have gender dysphoria tend to struggle with starkly distinguishing men from women in general tbh.

flapperfemmefatale · 2021-07-12T16:32:15+00:00

I'm not sure they do fit. As a cis woman who is pansexual, I barely fit.

LadyWomanson · 2021-07-12T16:12:16+00:00

Non-binaries are actually ideal for men. One night they’re dating a woman who will fleece them. The next day they’re just chilling with a male buddy who has cash to burn. Too easy. No walk of shame required either.

SaBahRub · 2021-07-12T16:34:33+00:00

They do not

Pill subs aren’t about flexibility and freedom

woxmei · 2021-07-12T15:39:40+00:00

I still don't understand what non binary is.

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lavender-lesbian · 2021-07-12T18:16:07+00:00

hey! i’m non-binary. i’m also a lesbian(only interested in women/feminine non-binary people)

i’m kind of just here to watch these people lose their minds over shit that doesn’t concern me tbh

XtoDoubt · 2021-07-12T16:07:59+00:00

They don't. Weirdos are too small a percentage to matter.

2021-07-12T15:44:45+00:00

Y’all are fucking immune lol congrats

midwestufohunter · 2021-07-12T18:05:09+00:00

I think they choose to be non-binary for this very reason. The don't want you saying shit about them.

Title	How do nonbinary people fit into the general dating lore?
Author	I989er
Upvotes	0
Comments	112
Date	July 12, 2021 3:34 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/oitpuj/how_do_nonbinary_people_fit_into_the_general/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-do-nonbinary-people-fit-into-the-general.790977 https://theredarchive.com/post/790977

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