Aaaand this is why drink dates and coffee dates are a bad idea

Reckless_Lea2963 · 2021-08-01T19:40:52+00:00

Never “make time” for a guy that you just met and don’t know well. Instead, schedule him in the time slots where you would’ve probably been doing nothing. This way you’re not upset when you end up doing nothing still. Keeping a few ppl in your rotation is good but depending on the type of men you date they may not be able, or willing, to meet last minute. Just as home girl said, if you’re going to get all dolled up then schedule the date after you’ve done something fun so you don’t feel like he ruined your day.

_queeeen_ · 2021-08-01T20:40:22+00:00

Back when I used to do OLD and years before FDS, I was cancelled on last minute twice by men far under my league. Once it was for coffee, second time it was drinks. What did I do? I went anyways and took myself out on the date. Got to discover a cute coffee shop near me, and instead of drinks at the exclusive spot, I sat at the bar and ordered myself the most expensive thing on the menu for dinner. Both were a great time. And no I never spoke to either one again.

denimlace · 2021-08-01T20:41:16+00:00

I had a man who supposedly made reservations at a restaurant then proceeded to not text me the day of. I was wise enough at this point to not get ready or do shit. Literally the minute of the supposed reservation rolls around and I get a text saying “omggg i forgot sorry! I can’t make it”.

modernmedusaa · 2021-08-01T19:34:01+00:00

Honestly I strongly feel that scrotes are just pulling these rude stunts out of spite just to be petty at this point. Men are just getting more petty by the day.

It’s also a PUA tactic to cancel dates last minute in order to increase anxiety and make him look more busy than he is / more options pursuing him. Trying to pull the puppet strings and turn you into Pickmeisha chasing after him.

This is an unforgivable crime IMO. Especially 30 mins before.

You should straight block, no excuses.

AyemHerself · 2021-08-01T20:08:09+00:00

This reads more like a "don't get too invested too soon" lesson. A man this petty would cancel before a dinner date as well. Never waste half your day on a date, especially since this seems to be the first date.

Her reaction is a little much. A better response would've been to block the clown and go enjoy yourself at the wine bar without him. Or just do something else she would enjoy.

What are the signs she should look out for? I'd wager his communication was pretty low-energy from the start. She may have been leading much of the conversation - don't do that. She appears to have romanticized him into the perfect match without knowing much about him or his character. Don't do that either. There is of course the drink date, especially since she has to drive a half hour to get there. I'd wager the bar is close to his place.

MissouriBlue · 2021-08-01T19:22:36+00:00

Take yourself out on an even better date!

ohiomarge79 · 2021-08-01T18:52:57+00:00

I think drink dates are a bad idea because his intention is to get you drunk and less inhibited. A man could easily cancel 1 hour before a dinner date too or any type of date really - I'm not certain it's related to being a drink date?

BBQCoolRanchQueen · 2021-08-01T20:25:35+00:00

Are there signs I should look out for when making plans with a man like this?

That is your sign, sis. Block, delete, and move on.

Kimpractical · 2021-08-01T20:55:43+00:00

I’m surprised he even sent a text cancelling the date instead of just ghosting her

Leninaoffthehopium · 2021-08-01T18:57:03+00:00

I don’t think the type of date is relevant here. I mean, if he had asked her to “dinner” he probably would have cancelled too. Not sure what she could have done different.

On a side note, every wine bar I’ve been too has also been a restaurant and has food, just a huge selection of wines to try out and most paired the food with the wine like a multi course deal.

Not sure if there are some out there that are just “a bar” but I don’t see the lesson here, maybe we can just commiserate about the state of men but?

What’s the purpose of this post education-wise? How can we avoid this?

Maybe it should be flaired as “rant” of “strategy?”?

NemesisNoire · 2021-08-01T18:59:06+00:00

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Impossible_Mud_7599 · 2021-08-01T20:45:41+00:00

No use crying over spilled milk

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-08-01T19:33:23+00:00

This is pathetic. I have no idea why you would cry because a stranger canceled a drink date. She should still go out to that wine bar, or somewhere else either by herself or see if a friend can join her.

Edit: to the people who are crying that maybe she's young. Based on the way she writes this is in the US where you have to be 21 to drink and go to a WINE BAR. That's too old to be crying over a random who canceled a date.

purasangria · 2021-08-01T21:28:31+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Aaaand this is why drink dates and coffee dates are a bad idea
Author	HumanAdhesiveness360
Upvotes	672
Comments	52
Date	August 1, 2021 6:37 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ovxmy8/aaaand_this_is_why_drink_dates_and_coffee_dates/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/aaaand-this-is-why-drink-dates-and-coffee-dates.796283 https://theredarchive.com/post/796283

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