Fuck office politics: newly arrived female coworker is in difficulty with her work and is attacking my reputation behind my back. WTF???

tehsouleater2 · 2017-08-20T12:14:15+00:00

Stories like this make me glad im a welder, where the only deciding factor in you keeping your job is you knowing how to do it without bugging the other workers all the time and of course having your products built to spec.

MagicTampon · 2017-08-20T09:26:12+00:00

I don't know how many times I've encountered employees, where I've asked them to do a task, and their response is, "I can't do it, I don't know how."

It's interesting. Some people will say, "I can't do it, I don't know how.." and then behave as if that's the end of the conversation.

Whereas others will reply, "I don't know how to do it. Can you explain to me how to do it or tell me where I can find out how to do it?"

Two entirely different responses will tell you a lot about what sort of employee you are dealing with.

I think the educational system is also getting worse in this respect.

I recall during my early educational experiences, that there used to be exams, where a certain number of questions would require students to go a little above and beyond what they had been taught in class to demonstrate some level of understanding that goes beyond having memorized something. Something that required having to figure out something on your own that you weren't explicitly taught how to do.

As education has become more "consumer friendly", it seems like students have become enraged with the entire prospect of being expected to accomplish something they haven't been spoon-fed or explicitly taught. I start hearing complaints about teachers being "sub-standard" when exams contain questions that require reasoning not explicitly taught, but that arises from understanding basic principles. The premise being that a question was asked of the student, but that the instructor was "sub-standard" because he or she did not give the student explicit instruction on how to solve a problem that appeared on the exam. Never mind that being able to reason about things not explicitly taught, was the entire point of the exam question in the first place. Nope. "Not fair" "bad teacher" they will exclaim.

And so here we are.

demian78 · 2017-08-20T13:16:51+00:00

Have IT monitor her internet usage and messenger usage. Use that to build a case to fire her. Fire her ass.

ee4m · 2017-08-20T09:53:13+00:00

Go to HR, with a diary of written evidence and if possible witnesses.

ThatNinaGAL · 2017-08-20T10:28:26+00:00

Manage her out.

And while you're at it, manage your own feelings so that you can be a fair and objective boss to any future female reports. You could have told this entire story with the genders flipped and "manage him out" would still have been the obvious answer. You do not have a female problem. You have a bad employee problem. And those problems SUCK and I'm sorry you have to deal with it.

aesopstortoise · 2017-08-20T11:22:41+00:00

Sounds like you will need to be extra careful in managing this woman, to make sure you can prove that you have treated her fairly. Perhaps a recorded agreement of the skills she needs to improve, with a timetable, would be insurance against future accusations.

Sturdybody · 2017-08-20T12:22:47+00:00

I wish I could get hired to do a job I can't and then get paid for months with no real risk of losing that job /s

chakan2 · 2017-08-20T13:40:27+00:00

Document the shit out of every interaction you have with her. I've got 5 on her trying to get you fired when you become her supervisor.

spyker54 · 2017-08-20T12:59:07+00:00

Delt with similar situations back when i worked in fast-food. It's basically like highschool...

demian78 · 2017-08-20T15:06:00+00:00

Why isn't she fired already?

Telling-tails · 2017-08-20T08:53:29+00:00

Bravo!!! Talk to the other guy and let him know you're watching him and want to ensure the female does her work on her own... ALWAYS... then fire her when she can't perform.

Amogh24 · 2017-08-20T13:10:24+00:00

Once you get promoted, rest shifting her to another team, she seems to have a negative obsession with you

ShadowBanThisCucks · 2017-08-20T18:18:16+00:00

Just had a case like this. We fired the bitch.

If she is doing it to you, she is probably doing it to everyone else, too. She is already digging her own grave.

You need to get someone between you and her to handle all communication. When she has to go through a third party to get you to do her job for for her, it will be revealed, and she will get shit canned.

TeutonicTwit · 2017-08-20T22:47:03+00:00

Had the same scenario happen when I worked at the Washington Post. New girl constantly gossiped about me, her supervisor, and acted so helpless all the time. When I was about to explode, I went in to my boss and laid it on the line, "either she goes, or I go." Following day she no longer worked there. When someone starts to interfere with your income, bring out the cat claws, go over her head and document everything. I call it going into "Screaming Mimi Mode!"

EvidencePlz · 2017-08-20T09:10:14+00:00

offtopic but does this subreddit have a discord?

Markuz · 2017-08-20T11:55:26+00:00

Does your workplace do semi annual performance reviews? If so, bring up all these grievances you have and list out ways she can improve alongside each place where she's failing. Even in an at-will employer there typically needs to be a paper trail in place to cover your ass.

2017-08-20T12:25:17+00:00

tl;dr

Jokes aside, thats horribile.

Soul_in_Shadow · 2017-08-20T13:48:51+00:00

When you say that she is on facebook etc. all the time is she on company computers or on a personal device? If it is on a company device whoever handles your IT should be able to pull the records to show she is consistently active on non work related sites during company time. With this either you or your boss should be able to start a formal disciplinary process with her (formal verbal warning, formal written warnings and so on).

Failing that, since her most consistent complaint/excuse seems to boil down to "I don't know how to do that" you could offer to have someone other than you try to train her in what she needs to know. If she refuses to try or is unable to learn in a reasonable timeframe (which would need to be clearly outlined for her) this would be grounds to start the termination process as she would be shown to be either unwilling or unable to meet her end of her employment contract. Provided that this process is well documented and by the book any lawsuit she tries to lay against you/the company should fall flat on its face

2017-08-20T15:06:16+00:00

sounds like a budding /prorevenge story lol

popperlicious · 2017-08-20T16:06:01+00:00

1) Start making documented demands and deadlines for specific tasks, and documented her failure to meet them.

2) While making sure that her coworker is too busy or not around to do her work for her.

3) "catch" her doing nothing & coworker doing her work.

4) officially reprimand her for not doing her job, and him for not doing his. document it and CC the boss.

5) fire her when she inevitably keeps missing deadlines, failing to do her job and asking other to do her work while she is spending her time on social media.

kellykebab · 2017-08-20T16:14:47+00:00

Document everything. If you get a chance as her boss, can her.

demian78 · 2017-08-20T18:01:03+00:00

You described a situation I was in a few years ago. Mine was worst cause she ended up being a manager and I was demoted hahaha. Guess my patriarchy card expired or something. Well, a complete ignorant management doesn't help either.

ScottyBrown · 2017-08-20T18:07:32+00:00

You must make any policies directed towards her work apply to everyone's work don't single her out. You have to keep records on every direct report.

topsecreteltee · 2017-08-20T18:56:31+00:00

Do you have experience with managing others? I had to directly and indirectly manage the separation of a few soldiers in my years as an Army Officer. The bureaucracy is intense and has developed an ironclad procedure that will hold up anywhere.

I can direct you to some really great resources if you would like. I also suggest that you get a professional mentor outside of your responsibility chain, such as a senior manager, VP in another company, or the owner of a small business that you admire. It really helps to have somebody that you can talk through the shit with and who knows you well enough to call you on it when you are the one fucking up.

AmuseDeath · 2017-08-20T21:00:01+00:00

It's a symptom of entitlement from today's millenial women. They were raised that they're "worth it too" and are told "you go girl" endless times. They are told that their opinion matters and they've taken that to the point where they ignore others. They don't know what hardwork is; they've had lots of shoulders to cry on when things get hard and expect someone else to fix their issues. Top that off with a healthy dose of narcissism with social media and now we have an epidemic of diva-titus.

2017-08-20T21:01:26+00:00

People go to work to make money and support family wtv, but they don't go to work to make friends. I'd say sure if she pushes work on you just take it, but I'd probably just directly hand the finished work she's in charged to do to whoever that monitors or is in charge. Bosses want efficient workers, if another person can like your coworker gets a lower pay and still does her job? Sounds like available budget to give him a raise and fire a lousy worker

lord_alphyn · 2017-08-20T15:15:43+00:00

Both men and women do the same thing.

It's being lazy and entitled.

If she isn't creating any value for the company and may be hindering work - report her.

Stand your ground, reaffirm the fact that you have given instruction, give her a chance to improve within a certain timeframe and follow through.

fogyoda · 2017-08-20T15:22:54+00:00

This should have nothing to do with gender.

If you can't do the job or won't you should be fired. Plain and simple.

peachesgp · 2017-08-20T16:01:56+00:00

I don't see at all where you're getting this "man-hating" from. She doesn't like you, that doesn't make it misandry.

demian78 · 2017-08-20T09:00:39+00:00

[permanently deleted]

rawbface · 2017-08-20T12:48:41+00:00

Are you a supervisor/manager? If not I don't see how training or helping her is your responsibility at all.

PigmentFish · 2017-08-20T16:27:12+00:00

I feel like there should be someone you can report this to, maybe someone who has enough pull to suggest termination. HR?

risunokairu · 2017-08-20T17:21:31+00:00

If you're going to be her boss, you need to let HR and your manager know what's up as soon as you get promoted. You need to make sure when you need to reprimand her, you have someone from HR in the office with you as a witness.

This way, when employee evaluations come around and you give her a low evaluation, you're safe with HR when she goes to them with any false complaints of harassment.

demian78 · 2017-08-20T17:25:46+00:00

Man, ive avoided that. Everyone works in my dept. Everyone is cool with each other. People get their desks decorated for birthdays, people are willing to learn and teach, and do their own job. knocks on wood

a_pile_of_shit · 2017-08-20T17:30:41+00:00

Just go to your boss?

BlackBoxInquiry · 2017-08-20T20:29:38+00:00

Typical for some people like that to take things out of context to get their way.

BWoodsn2o · 2017-08-21T00:54:08+00:00

What you should do for the guy whos being drowned in work by this woman, is hand him a copy of the 5 Minute Manager Meets the Monkey. Its a super easily accessable book, easy to get a hold of, and offers a pretty potent lession in a small read.

He needs to know, no matter how spineless he may be, that this will affect his work and could ruin him.

RolfIsSonOfShepnard · 2017-08-20T17:32:08+00:00

Seems like the proper thing to do when you become her manager is to do some sort of performance review (preferably a few months after being promoted). I'm guessing you have some chat logs or whatever of her admitting she doesn't know what to do and calling clients "assholes". Also I'm assuming you have to talk to your boss in order to fire her so maybe ask him to interview/ask her fellow coworkers about what they think about her as a coworker so your boss knows how she is always distracted and doesn't know the material. Take it slow since you don't want to rush the firing process and end up having some kind of backlash.

chykin · 2017-08-20T18:21:58+00:00

You need to raise this in your supervision/one to one sessions with your line manager and ask for their support before it gets worse.

iTzinmyblood · 2017-08-20T19:24:47+00:00

I feel you brother. I was yelled at once because I used the MENS locker room bathroom while a female cleaner was cleaning it. I didn't even know she was in there until I finished and was about to leave. World's a complete shit show. I would say keep track of everything Incase you need to go to HR.

TexasRose25 · 2017-08-20T20:19:19+00:00

That legit sucks. She needs to get unceremoniously fired. Badly. I'm sorry you have to deal with this.🙁

demian78 · 2017-08-20T23:45:29+00:00

Once you get your leadership spot settled in, start coaching the other guy who is a push over. If you're in charge of the work he does as well, make it clear to him that she needs to learn her job and for him to not go out of his way to help her if she absolutely refuses to learn. Hold him accountable for it as well. He has his own work to do. Write the chick up as often as you can and with enough write ups, shit can her.

UDT22 · 2017-08-21T07:51:00+00:00

When you work with women, you're always under fire. You can't win ever. You can try to cut your loses.

xydroh · 2017-08-21T12:10:44+00:00

This is not a problem because she's a woman. This is just a bad employee problem, I've seen this plenty of times where the exact scenario comes out and the socially skilled but not technically skilled employee gets to bullshit his way out.

I would also strongy recommend to try and stay unbiased as you're going to be her boss, don't let her make a case against you.

Urishima · 2017-08-21T12:24:19+00:00

Now that you are in charge, do you also do the performance reviews?

mwobuddy · 2017-08-21T13:35:02+00:00

Never underestimate bored women with neurotic tendencies or mental illness.

anotherone65 · 2018-01-18T22:39:48+00:00

Believe me, it's not any easier as a woman working for catty gossiping twats, worse if you have a female boss who does this.

TheJazzProphet · 2017-08-20T17:03:03+00:00

Unbelievable. This is the kind of thing that makes people want to bring back workplace gender segregation. And to be fair, it would solve a lot of problems.

ztsmart · 2017-08-20T18:36:22+00:00

And they wonder why they dont earn as much as us

MereMortalHuman · 2017-08-20T19:29:23+00:00

That has nothing to do with her being a female. She is just simply a bitch.

ZimbaZumba · 2017-08-20T16:15:01+00:00

Sounds like a personality disorder. I suggest you look up them up, usually people are a mixture. Knowing what you dealing with makes finding a solution easier. These are extremely destructive people, you cannot just hope it goes away. Talking to HR might help.

mcmur · 2017-08-20T16:23:38+00:00

I am literally the only male working at my store, in a staff of about 14. My life is hell, seriously. Nonstop bullshit.

demian78 · 2017-08-21T02:18:54+00:00

Whats stopping you from calling her out in a public area in front of other employees? Grow some balls.

FriarMaxwell292 · 2017-08-20T08:52:29+00:00

That's awful shitty of her, but I can't help but feel it couldn't hurt for you to help her - the way I read a few of those exchanges it seems like you were kind of rude

demian78 · 2017-08-20T17:25:18+00:00

use their own weapons against them. go to HR and complain that she sexually harassed you, and demand it needs to stop because you don't want to get legal involved.

Title	Fuck office politics: newly arrived female coworker is in difficulty with her work and is attacking my reputation behind my back. WTF???
Author	demian78
Upvotes	931
Comments	226
Date	August 20, 2017 8:10 AM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/6uumes/fuck_office_politics_newly_arrived_female/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/fuck-office-politics-newly-arrived-female-coworker.915555 https://theredarchive.com/post/915555

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