1st Christmas without my kid

MonarchistExtreme · 2024-12-23T18:16:39+00:00

I convinced myself I didn't care and I drank a lot. By the next Christmas I had full custody so I don't have much experience. The biggest key I focused on was surviving. Time is the only thing that ever made it better for me.

electromattic · 2024-12-23T15:33:40+00:00

First for me as well. Last year I had to fake being happy as my wife had just dropped the bomb a couple of weeks earlier. For me anything is better than that.

Hang in there and be the world's best dad when you do get to see your little. The day is just a day. Make memories with her and she'll cherish them forever. Nobody loves you the way that she loves you. And nobody can love her the way that you do. You got this. And everyone in this sub is here for you when you feel like you don't.

xjeeperx · 2024-12-23T13:33:39+00:00

I had Christmas with my kid Saturday morning so that there was time to play with stuff before going back to Mom’s tomorrow. I’m sure Christmas Day will still kinda sting, but Christmas is when and what you make it.

Emotional_Lettuce251 · 2024-12-23T00:30:52+00:00

My first Christmas away from my kids as well. Four girls ... 7, 11, 14 and 16. Probably just go see a movie or something.

PurchaseOk4075 · 2024-12-22T23:45:49+00:00

Hang in there . It’s just a date . Make it fun and good when it’s your turn to see her . Make your own version. My boys look forward to being with me on off date holiday times.

Longjumping_Proof_43 · 2024-12-22T22:51:59+00:00

Be strong homie. Don't let it get you down. Just be excited when you see them.

mattinator2012 · 2024-12-22T22:06:17+00:00

This will be my first Christmas without my kids as well.

CharlesDanceFan · 2024-12-22T12:54:28+00:00

I get through it by treating the day I get my kids ie Boxing Day, as if it’s actually Xmas day.

They’re happier because they’re getting two Xmas days. That’s the way kids see the world at their age.

Don’t let it get you down brother. Kids grow up eventually. This pain is temporary however the armour it builds is permanent

SkippyBoyJones · 2024-12-22T10:10:27+00:00

Never badmouth the mom in front of her.

Just be there for her when she needs you and let it be known you'll always be there.

As far as your own mental wellbeing -

Create your own happiness. Don't think of the past or worry about the future. Just concentrate on the present moment. I know it's hard. Positive mindset. Avoid hate, negativity, toxicity and drama. Throw yourself at your hobbies that make you smile. Exercise works wonders. If you're still having a hard time - contemplate going to bed early. I know Holidays are tough.

Best of luck in your journey and Happy Holidays.

RedRibbon3KS · 2024-12-22T09:52:59+00:00

Do you have a friend that you can meet up with for Christmas breakfast? A good friend "forced" me to be with him when I just wanted to stay in bed and feel like crap. He knew what I was going through as he went through a divorce

familymanlikesfamily · 2024-12-22T05:10:31+00:00

You'll see her soon. Not the same but try not to think about it and try to keep yourself busy. I think better to accept this will happen more often than keel thinking about it.

It's how I get through celebrations or even outings when the family and kids get together and they're all asking where mine are. Angers me. The cousins also feel robbed of their play time.

shroom_dot · 2024-12-22T03:16:29+00:00

First for me as well. Not looking forward to it, especially as I know her AP will be at the in-laws with my kids, neatly replacing me.

necromensa · 2024-12-22T03:03:10+00:00

I have no idea how Christmas is gonna go down. Complicating matters for me is that I have no other family. Orphaned. So it will literally be me. Wild. I’m viewing this all through the lens of learning to sit in extreme discomfort and survive. As odd as that sounds. When I’m overwhelmed by the darkness, I have so far managed to step outside of myself and ask “what am I feeling? How much of this is real? How much of this am I manufacturing?” While I’m doing this with as little judgement as I can, the waves begin to pass.
Also, this is big talk on my part bc when I wake up on Xmas day I’m sure it will be hard to draw a deep breath. Good luck boys.

No_Pace2396 · 2024-12-22T02:21:04+00:00

Made a journal of all my memories of raising her, then a photo book of all the cool shit we did together while her mom was at work.

Title	1st Christmas without my kid
Author	jdubby619
Upvotes	10
Comments	22
Date	December 22, 2024 2:16 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1hjp1nn/1st_christmas_without_my_kid/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/1st-christmas-without-my-kid.1539175 https://theredarchive.com/post/1539175

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