Anyone else having ed issues with new partners since filing for divorce?

AvacodoCartwheeler · 2024-10-23T14:12:45+00:00

Yes, I had issues with this. Never a single issue before in my life. Failing to get it up three times (twice with the same girl... she must have really liked me haha) was pretty embarrassing. It didn't last long though, I spent a little time working out and actually bothering to getting to know the next few girls and BAM - laying pipe like an apprentice plumber, as it was so aptly stated below.

KookyPerception84 · 2024-10-23T10:58:01+00:00

Yes I had the same thing. Get a prescription for Cialis and you’ll be sweet as

DivorceCharacter512 · 2024-10-22T20:37:43+00:00

Not uncommon. You can wait till your brain fixes itself on its own, or...

Get some generic viagra from an online pharmacy (hims.com, roman, etc), find a friend, and set the day aside.

You'll get over the psychological block really quickly after spending an entire Saturday laying pipe like an apprentice plumber...

pardon_me_while_i · 2024-10-22T03:39:03+00:00

Yeah man. It’s definitely a mental block for me or booze. But I got the pill for when that happens. I don’t take it often but it’s a nice crutch. Also cut back on porn. I thought I was the end of the world when it first happened. You got this bro!

AttemptScary4550 · 2024-10-22T19:48:41+00:00

Same here but things are getting better with time.

Strict_Magician_2796 · 2024-10-22T16:52:23+00:00

Yes it happened to me. I either couldn't get it up or couldn't finish, with various partners. It's been 1.5 years now and I feel like I have it beat, I have a great partner and discovered a little pill that seems to have done the trick, they sell it on amazon:

Evlution Nutrition Tribulus Terrestris for Men - Maximum Potency 90% Saponins Pure Tribulus for Men Stimulant Free Supplement for Men

I'm curious to know if it works for others here, goodluck!

Positive_Rub_6696 · 2024-10-22T13:39:07+00:00

Most here have commented that it’s a mental game. It is, but I wouldn’t say it’s 100% chance of that.

I had been taking Paxil (an antidepressant) to last longer, and it was effective for that purpose. Over time though, my libido was like a frog in a pot of water slowly coming to a boil; libido was fine at first, but after 2 years, I was far less interested in sex, and worse, when I was interested, I sometimes struggled to maintain an erection.

When I decided to forego the Paxil, my libido returned, full force, as did my erections.

Morel of the story; most likely block to your 🐓is your mental state, even if subconsciously, but do not discount side effects of medications you may be taking.

l3landgaunt · 2024-10-22T13:10:31+00:00

Dude, I’m having those issues with just myself. My therapist tells me it will pass

Poppopnamename · 2024-10-22T04:35:14+00:00

Hahha! I’m not the only one?!?

PeerSifter · 2024-10-22T10:53:36+00:00

You could take the little guy to Thailand. It's Disneyland for your penis. He'll have a blast (no pun intended).

yes2matt · 2024-10-22T10:37:13+00:00

Yes I did the first time. She was patient, we worked thru it.

I tried the online Viagra. I'm not sure if it helped or not.

I tried herbal stuff. Maca root in my coffee and l-Arginine supplements specifically. I think that was at least as effective as the Viagra and def more affordable/ sustainable.

What really helped was my internally coming to terms with the release of the marriage covenant. It is broken, "we" are done. Doesn't matter whose fault it was (both). I can't continue to be bound by a contract that no longer exists. I can't be loyal to a partnership which is clearly and definitely and explicitly/ legally not-a-partnership.

So I don't use the viagra I bought (you want it?) Or the herbs anymore. She and I have limited schedules but I don't have a problem with rising to the occasion. In fact, if we keep this pace, this time next year I will have had more sex in two years of friendship than I did in nineteen years of marriage.

BuzzMasterFlex · 2024-10-22T09:24:25+00:00

Big thing I struggled with was learning to get out of my head. I had issues with maybe 5 or 6 partners over the years .

I remember one had a personality that I couldn't stand, another was a complete mismatch with personalities despite both being very physically attractive.

There was two where it wouldn't initially stay up and I would psych myself out with subsequent attempts thinking it wasn't going to work which it didn't with one of them.

Another incident where they had aggressive hands and she was too jumpy.

Finally there was one where substances were definitely the culprit.

It happens! He open and talk to her about it if you think they will handle it well. You got to be careful though because they might become self-conscious and think that you are not attracted to them.

Good luck

Outrageous-Quail5891 · 2024-10-22T04:17:48+00:00

Yes, it can happen. For the first two or three months after finding out about my wife's affair and divorce, could not get an errection at all. Not that I needed too, since I wasn't interested in this (not even porn). Eventually it came back.

Now, I am back to normal. Still, being with a younger girlfriend (who has a higher sex-drive than me) I do take a pill sometimes, just to be on the safe side. This helps on a psihologica level as well. Also, using it I can do it 2-3 times per night while without it is usually just once, maybe twice if there is a bigger pause.

Later edit: I take half a pill only.

ColorlessGem-n-eye · 2024-10-22T03:38:14+00:00

Yeah man. Thank God I've got a patient girlfriend. I at first couldn't get it up , or not be able to keep it up for like the first 10 times we've had sex. Then it went to having an even more difficult time getting off. I bought some bluchew online, and that solved the hard issue, but still struggle getting off. The more we are intimate, the more frequent it's getting better, but it's frustrating, and embarrassing. But try the Bluchew... it does work. I can now get it up and keep it up without meds now, but it's not like... all the way back yet...build more intimacy with your partners in other ways too, that one helps the most I think.

ideastoconsider · 2024-10-22T03:19:36+00:00

Cialis daily will take care of it in the interim. Talk to your doc.

Least_Attorney9006 · 2024-10-22T03:02:42+00:00

Everyone is taking too many words to respond.

Yes, a lot of us have had issues. For whatever reason (psychological, stress, physical, whatever).

There’s a little pill for that. They’re really easy to get an online prescription for (for hims, lemonade health, etc.)

I’ve had more sex since I’ve been divorced than I ever had when I was married. And no one knew I was “on the pill.”

Don’t stress about it. Get a prescription.

ww3historian · 2024-10-22T02:57:28+00:00

Stop using porn for 2 weeks at least

Subtle-Catastrophe · 2024-10-22T02:48:35+00:00

She should touch it, play with it, kiss it, keep going. Won't be a problem for long.

I'm late 40s. This is still good advice. Don't mess with late 40s women, though. Seriously. They're another level.

Become_Pneuma · 2024-10-22T02:47:08+00:00

Quite the opposite actually

cheasenkrackerz · 2024-10-22T02:25:50+00:00

Anxiety sucks, and when it's not working you get into a downward spiral and then comes the performance anxiety. It's okay, try not to put pressure on yourself and honestly if you're not even getting up for masturbation, just don't, take a break from it and when the mood strikes go for it. Would not recommend going the Viagra route at all without talking to a doctor first.... last thing you want is side effects and it not going down and a needle jabbed in your junk so they can drain it.

Spudlink9 · 2024-10-22T02:16:33+00:00

Pop a Viagra first couple times to get your confidence back and you’ll be fine.

MAGIC_carpet_RIDER · 2024-10-22T02:16:27+00:00

First of all, your dick works fine man. It's not broken.

It's 100% psychological. I had the same issue and still do from time to time, I'm 5 months out from the end of my marriage. Got a hims subscription to have a few pills. It really helped my confidence initially knowing I could still please someone. I was with my ex for 6 years. Part of what I ran into psychologically was that I was pleasing someone a certain way for so long that I wasn't sure I would be able to do it to someone else anymore. Still a work in progress for myself but it helps not watching porn for a little bit. Maybe once a week. Helps with your sex drive when you're actually with a woman. Go work out, dress up, and go bag some ladies good sir. You're not going to be ready for something serious for a while so might as well have some fun.

0neMinute · 2024-10-22T02:13:20+00:00

Had this issue first couple of times. Eventually got over it by connecting with the person first. After a couple of girls i was normal with whoever it was.

catter3423 · 2024-10-22T02:10:25+00:00

Yes. Even if you are ready to move on or just have a little fun, divorce messes with your head. It took a little time for me. Certainly didn’t help that I drank and smoked a bit more in dealing with it all. Try not to rush it and feel comfortable. Eat, exercise and sleep well. And nothing wrong with getting a few pills to help you over the hump.

Title	Anyone else having ed issues with new partners since filing for divorce?
Author	BadgerBoy913
Upvotes	18
Comments	28
Date	October 22, 2024 2:01 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1g9766z/anyone_else_having_ed_issues_with_new_partners/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/anyone-else-having-ed-issues-with-new-partners.1532765 https://theredarchive.com/post/1532765

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