Double standard?

SelectionNo3078 · 2023-11-16T17:23:44+00:00

Men are thirsty and we typically will drink anything offered.

Nothing is usually offered. We have to chase and stand out to connect

Women are mostly not interested and of course have overwhelming numbers of thirsty dudes to choose from. So why would they choose obvious drama

Comfortable-Angle660 · 2023-11-16T18:51:24+00:00

They are sizing you up with respect to how much $$ will be left over. Huge red flag indicator there. You might lose some who want no drama, but you are also losing the gold diggers.

MartyMcFly7 · 2023-11-16T18:37:06+00:00

Personally, I didn't have much of a problem (and I'm pretty average). It seems like, as long as you have a reasonable reason for getting divorced, some women are more than happy to snap you up before you go "back on the market."

But getting dates has always been easier for women (at least when they're young).

justme4556 · 2023-11-16T17:26:00+00:00

It's resource generation. Most men don't and shouldn't see women as a source of resource. They are an expense. Women don't want to date men till a guys divorce is done because they want to know what is left and if it will benefit them. Until women decide to become true earners and behave as equals this behavior will continue. But being an expense is more comfortable.

Throwawaysi1234 · 2023-11-16T17:57:01+00:00

If a woman asks if I'm divorced ill say "yes" if they want the story, that's not happening until much later.

If you got filed on or think you're mostly at fault, they think you must be deficient

If you filed or think your ex was mostly at fault, they think you must have been damaged

If you are an open book on the issue, divorce is by nature traumatic and they will think you're damaged.

Timely_Froyo1384 · 2023-11-16T19:54:18+00:00

Female here: you mean date as in have sexual relations?

Woman have it easy if that’s what they want, a boy toy to be all sweet and kind for a period of time, most avg men will line up around the block, if your ex is halfway decent looking and can be sweet for a period of time to get what she wants out of it.

There are lots of double standards in life. Woman being able to get sex when they want is one of them.

OkEmphasis5923 · 2023-11-16T19:05:18+00:00

The dudes who want to date her are just wanting to fuck her, nothing else. It amazes me that women can never tell the difference between a guy who wants to date them versus fuck them. Hint to any ladies reading this: at this age its a rare diamond who wants a relationship.

Women on the other hand are always looking for a relationship. Go on the datingoverforty sub and see how many single gals have to weed out married dudes on the dating apps who are pretending to go through a divorce only to find out he was just using that as a cover to cheat. Once the divorce is final, your dating prospects will be as good as her's assuming you are fit, financially comfortable, and dress well.

krazykanuck · 2023-11-16T18:40:06+00:00

Honest piece of advice, stop comparing your journey to your ex's.

One_Cartographer_465 · 2023-11-16T18:29:07+00:00

Without knowing the particulars of the situation, my first question would be, What quality of men are willing to date your STBX before divorced? What quality woman are you considering that will not date until the divorce is final. The quality of person goes a long way to answering your question.

playerknowmore · 2023-11-17T19:06:47+00:00

The fact is that you had to woo her, give her a relationship, and then marry her. I would be rushing to divorce. The fact that you had to do the most, and now she is giving it away to guys saying nice boobs in the comments. Should prove that she is no longer worthy of you.

Your mistake was when she asked for the separation youallowedit to happen. You should have leaned into divorce. She probably thinks she can still come back after she gets pumped and dumped for a year. You allowed her a gap year in your marriage.

pk2at · 2023-11-16T20:51:32+00:00

Think you are trolling us, its been this way even before we were primates. Good news is that women feel miserable after a one night stand whereas men feel great

captainchippsixx · 2023-11-16T21:41:36+00:00

Yeah these guys just want to pump And dump but they will say whatever to reach that goal. And yes I found the same issue when I was getting divorced. Although I found some FWB’s. Just be patient and hit tinder to hookup. You don’t live together right. So call it separated and divorcing and waiting for the decree.

hogger303 · 2023-11-16T22:07:41+00:00

Your wife is seen as an easy target.

When I was in my 20’s, divorcées & soon to be divorcees were the easiest to smooth talk & get laid.

I’m not saying it was right, but I was young and loved the ladies.

SecretDoctor8121 · 2023-11-16T23:37:22+00:00

Yes but OP...one burn wasn't enough?

MusicianSilent6772 · 2023-11-17T00:21:17+00:00

Bro dudes don’t care, they just want to have sex…

MusicianSilent6772 · 2023-11-17T00:21:31+00:00

Women are looking for relationships

latamluv · 2023-11-17T09:47:55+00:00

How do you even know what’s going on with you ex? Why do you care?

softinvest · 2023-11-17T15:43:11+00:00

Finding hookups may be better for you. Honestly, take a lot of time before another relationship. I think all of us divorced or soon to be divorced men should really just live alone or with our kids for a while before trying to give ourselves to another. The world is skewed heavily in the woman’s favor right now. The pendulum has swung way too far that way right now. The odds of you finding a genuine woman, not caring about your resources and actually caring about you, is likely low. The strongest man is one that can be ok standing on his own.

BudFox_LA · 2023-11-17T17:02:16+00:00

Weird. I definitely didn’t run into that

Title	Double standard?
Author	l3tsR0LL
Upvotes	40
Comments	42
Date	November 16, 2023 5:16 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/17ws7wj/double_standard/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/double-standard.1238591 https://theredarchive.com/post/1238591

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