So it all started for me back in January, when my STBXW completely stopped talking to me and moved into the guest room of our home we purchased together in 2020. Just straight up went cold and would not talk or even really look at me when I would try to talk to her. A few weeks went by and a few fights happened when I would try and just talk to her - then she wanted a separation. I said I'd go if we at least tried a few sessions of therapy so i could just hear her out and validate her feelings. Nope...she wanted me gone.

We were the loves of each other's lives, "soul-mates", the whole thing. She smothered me with love and I loved her more than I could possibly love another human being. Together 11 years, married for 4 technically, though it was about 3.5yrs when this all started.

So here is what I'm guilty of: I quit my full time job at the end of 2018 (with her full support) after some messed up stuff went down at work and I was getting blamed for it. I kicked around doing some freelance web development in 2019 but made just enough to cover bills. I've always paid all the utility bills and we split our rent, and then our mortgage. 2020 rolled around and I started a small marketing company with a friend of mine right when the pandemic hit, so we were hamstrung from the start. I was able to hop on Pandemic Assistance as a freelance and was getting paid $800/month for a year and a half - so money was coming in while i was trying to get things going. Dec 2021 I told her I was done trying the business as my partner more or less bailed and it just wasn't panning out. She STILL gave me full emotional support and just asked that I go to therapy to work through some career/personal issues I had, and i totally agreed...but the second the new year hit, she changed and was just getting colder and colder until the complete shutoff i described above. I NEVER cheated, never hit her, never did anything malicious to her. I love(d) her completely. I just didn't make as much as she did for a few years, but i never missed a payment on the utilities or mortgage.

Fast forward to now: The divorce is almost final. She hates my guts for taking what the law deems is mine (half the equity plus what i put into the house). Our house went up about $100k since we bought it. She talks about "what kind of man would do this" etc. I know its manipulation and gaslighting, and people tell me i should just hate her....but it hurts so damn much that his person has turned herself into an enemy. Its truly heartbreaking that its all just about money now and I never thought she and I would be in this position....EVER. It doesn't help that her brother lives upstairs (he seems cool with me, but communication seems less and less) and her parents show up at my house whenever i leave (they haven't spoken to me at all through this). I'm suffocating and I can't even get through this with any privacy.

I'm sorry for this long post, but I'm just really hurting and needed to get this out. I'm open to any questions, comments, or advice that you fine gentlemen may have for me.

EDIT: i was getting $800/week for a year and a half during the pandemic, not per month.