Here we are again... drunk

GoldBunch7294 · 2026-01-26T05:59:52+00:00

Man, I’ve been there. Same post-divorce spiral, evenings alone, telling myself I’m “just having a few” and then hating myself the next morning. It’s not that I missed her either it was realizing I didn’t like who I’d turned into. The kid-free nights were the hardest by far. No magic fix here, just saying you’re not broken this phase is brutal, and clawing your way out is slow as hell, but it’s possible.

bringforththeg · 2026-01-20T19:53:10+00:00

Force yourself to buy non alcoholic beers. I had some in back of my fridge, only thing left after the normal beer ran out. Ain't so bad!!!

Mayday1019 · 2026-01-20T02:15:15+00:00

Go to a meeting. Even if you don’t consider yourself an alcoholic, it sounds like you have a problem with drinking. There are a lot of regular people at meetings that are going through or have gone through the same thing you’re going through. No judgement. And hey, worst case it’s something to do and you’ll meet new people and since you’re at the meeting you won’t be drinking at home.

No_Astronaut5941 · 2026-01-19T15:23:26+00:00

I’d say if you don’t get yourself together in another 6 a year or so after the D, then you might have a problem.

If you are paying the bills drinking might help the transition. But just for a transition.

upvotersfortruth · 2026-01-19T04:03:06+00:00

yeah, it's a hard habit to break and a ready-to-go time filler. Feels good, no planning required. Do you drink at home or by yourself? Those would be two good starting points. Not that going to bars is a good thing but those are some pretty easy additional limits you can apply since you've already applied the "no drinking around the kids" limit - yeah, it's hard.

According-Designer15 · 2026-01-19T02:41:33+00:00

the fact that you don't drink when you have the kids tells me you CAN stop, you're just not stopping for yourself yet because somewhere in your head you decided you're not worth the same effort you give them, that's the real problem, not the booze, the booze is just the symptom of you checking out on your own life while staying functional for theirs.

You already failed "trying" this year, so stop trying and start deciding, either you're the drunk version of yourself who regrets mornings and gets fatter, or you're the version your kids deserve to see even when they're not around. Improving yourself IS hard, but so is waking up hating yourself every day, and one of those hard things actually leads somewhere. Pick one, brother. Tonight's done, but tomorrow morning you get to choose again. 💪

Chemical-Eye-1828 · 2026-01-19T02:09:22+00:00

Don’t beat yourself up. It’s hard to adjust to your new situation but you can always change your situation if you’re willing to do the work on yourself and become the best version of yourself. Rebuilding is not easy but it’s not impossible. Find out what you want out of life and go get it. You may be surprised by how having a goal will affect your life in a positive way.

Best of wishes to you and your family

lebonroidagobert · 2026-01-19T01:37:11+00:00

not drinking with the kids is big. be kind to yourself and patient. it’s a process. hobbies def help. try and start walking or if you can run go on short ones and work your way up.

North-Permit-1021 · 2026-01-19T01:26:12+00:00

I seek hookers and alcohol as well man, but i did my best to help myself and luckily found something that works . But I started watching stand up comedy online and it helped me cope as well

ozdomguy · 2026-01-19T00:41:20+00:00

Do you have any hobbies or projects? I have found fishing, working on cars and chasing women was a good way to pass the time. But I was lucky I have my kids a lot.

Join a club? Get a personal trainer? Any sports?

Upper_Record3945 · 2026-01-19T00:29:40+00:00

Addiction is always a symptom not the cause. I'm also a former addict saying that. May I suggest therapy?

myxyplyxy · 2026-01-18T23:53:56+00:00

Lookup the sinclair method to help with the alcohol

Salty-Amoeba-3139 · 2026-01-18T23:53:19+00:00

Get a dog. Long walks in the woods. Find new interests to explore and then find the podcasts. Listen to those when you walk. Get a headlamp and walk at night. Listen to positive music. Volunteer at school or somewhere else. You need to stay busy to help get off alcohol. Socializing helps immensely.

Fishing helps me a lot. Set a goal. Master different conditions, lures, techniques, and then go get those bastards

LimJayee · 2026-01-18T23:52:49+00:00

It's been two weeks. I seem to not be able to enjoy much, BUT, you being over her is huge.

I quit drinking 12 years ago, I can honestly say if that was in mix right now, ughhh.. I don't know how you do it

Upstairs-Pizza-1843 · 2026-01-18T23:40:21+00:00

Brother, give AA a shot. Those guys will run through brick walls for you man. It's a great support system and gets you in a social group with people who understand and won't judge. Do 90 meetings in 90 days. This is a great short term goal and you need those right now. Also consider taking up a hobby you always wanted to try like guitar or drums. Since you like making awesome food, maybe start a little garden or at the very least an herb garden.

Be the man you want your children to look up to when they aren't around! You got this, my brother!!

Virtual_Ad9235 · 2026-01-18T23:27:16+00:00

Hey brother! Something that helped me break the cycle of drinking was doing the 75 Hard challenge.

The goal is to go 75 straight days completing the following tasks every day without fail, and failing to do so means you start all over again:

2 45 minute workouts, one outdoors rain snow or shine, the workouts can be whatever you want, but they have to exert effort
read 10 pages of a personal development book of your choice
drink 4 litres of water
follow a clean meal plan of your choice. No cheat meals no junk food no sugar
no alcohol of any sort

It’s a bit extreme but the name of the game is to change your current lifestyle. Don’t worry about the end result, focus on taking things one day at a time and remember that you are doing it for yourself, you deserve the best version of yourself, and so do your kids.

You deserve it brother, you deserve to be happy and to live a life you deem worthy for yourself.

You can check out my profile, I documented my journey when my STBXW told me she wanted to divorce.

Coffeecankicker · 2026-01-18T23:18:23+00:00

I had to get sober to divorce my wife. I had to see that it wasn’t my drinking that was the problem. It was my drinking that faded away all the pain and hurt she caused me. I got sober, faced her pain and filed for divorce. You’re already past the hard part. Quit drinking. Just fucking stop. It’s gross. Just go look at yourself. Fucking quit. Go to the gym. Don’t drink. Start eating meat and vegetables. Leave the fast food shit alone. Take care of yourself. Stop drinking.

Sketaverse · 2026-01-18T23:06:31+00:00

Such an inspiration. Thank you

Expensive_Singer_276 · 2026-01-18T23:06:17+00:00

For me I tried everything the quit drinking and found no other way than Alcoholics Anonymous. Good luck

DivorceCharacter512 · 2026-01-18T22:47:03+00:00

Try situps...

Potential_Bowler_532 · 2026-01-18T22:43:03+00:00

You’re not asking the right question. You’re not looking for ways to fill evenings. You’re looking for ways to not feel evenings.

The booze is working exactly as designed. It’s turning the volume down on 18 months of shit you haven’t processed. The problem is it stops working and starts costing.

You’re six hours from a ten-hour shift and you’re drunk because sober you is unbearable company right now. That’s the actual problem. The evenings are just when you’re forced to sit with yourself.

Next time you feel the urge, don’t drink. Not forever, not “getting sober,” just that night.

Expect to feel terrible. You will. That’s the point. All the stuff the booze has been muffling will come screaming back. Sit with it anyway. It won’t actually kill you, it just feels like it will.

Tomorrow, call your doctor. Not for a lecture. For actual help. Tell them exactly what you posted here. They’ve heard worse. There are things that make stopping easier than white-knuckling it alone.

Find one thing that demands your attention. Not “self-improvement.” Your brain needs a job that isn’t “drink or think about drinking.” It needs to occupy you for a full two hours. Fix something in your place that's broken. Paint something. Make something.

You’ve got kids. They need you functional more than they need you “improved.” Start there. Good luck to you, my friend.

1millionBURNINGsuns · 2026-01-18T22:38:33+00:00

How about this. Look you can sit around thinking you’re terrible. That’s not fun. Or try an addition. Get some NA beer. Good ones. Drink these. Get a taste for it. Have some real drinks too if you like. Then go full NA and don’t look back.

I mostly stopped drinking. I improve my living space now in ways that I like and make and my life easier. I read and watch tv I want that my lady friend won’t enjoy anyway. I spent a lot of time finding a lady friend BUT before that I fucked a fake vagina. Highly recommended and inexpensive.

Take care of you like you love you in all ways! Even if you’re not in a loving mood make an effort. Don’t do things because you’re bad or need to improve etc do them out of love for yourself. Always.

UnrulyAnteater25 · 2026-01-18T22:33:49+00:00

join r/stopdrinking and read

Title	Here we are again... drunk
Author	globuleofshit
Upvotes	29
Comments	40
Date	January 18, 2026 10:32 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1qgmepx/here_we_are_again_drunk/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/here-we-are-again-drunk.1571454 https://theredarchive.com/post/1571454

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