I give up

Standard-Pound-9331 · 2023-04-06T02:31:45+00:00

I will be praying for you and your little boy. Lord knows I am going through the same thing as you are. Keep the faith

wisstinks4 · 2023-04-06T02:45:42+00:00

Women crushing the souls of fathers who just want to be dedicated Dads. It makes me so mad. Divorce just fucking sucks. Men get railed.

OrangeinDorne · 2023-04-06T02:45:29+00:00

What is her custody position? If you’re going to give up on the legal fight are you going to at least have partial custody?

I also gave up on the legal fight but I did it because I knew my ex couldn’t handle full custody, and I was right. I have my kids like 60% of the time now and could have more if I wanted (but it’s important to me that their mom is involved too). Granted this was very specific to my ex, I knew how to play the long game with her, but she’s kinda…well dumb (think stereotypical ditz), I knew her mom was calling the shots, and not everyone is like her.

Either way, all things equal I think you should not give up your fatherhood. Your son needs you my friend.

vector5633 · 2023-04-06T12:20:36+00:00

DO NOT GIVE UP!!!! Keep fighting for your kid at all costs. I fought for my girls after that POS cunt put a TRO on me accusing me of being a monster. All lies of course. Long story short. I went through hell with court assigned forensics investigation, reunification therapy, kids therapy to prove that cunt was nothing but a liar. Eventually I got 50/50 custody with all holidays shared and all school breaks.

I went through hell and wanted to give up. My oldest daughter had turned against me because of that cunt. But at the end. After we were all reunited my girls and I have a solid bond and relationship. As a matter of fact the are with me now.

Parental Alienation is really fucked up.

Fight for your kid man. I know it's fucking hard AF! But at the end, it's all worth it! The family court system is shit!

BTW... TRO was vacated 2 years ago. The cunt filed a frivolous TRO on me at the end of 2019. COVID hit in 2020 which slowed everything down for me. I filed for divorce a month after that cunt put that TRO on me. Divorce was finalized Spring of 2021.

Stay strong brother! Your boy needs you!

Wired4Data · 2023-04-06T03:52:32+00:00

Trust me, I know exactly how you feel! My stbx stopped letting me see our kid as soon as the martial home sold. I’ve been jumping thru hoops for months while she tries to game the system to maximize child support. There are days that I want to give up too, but doing so would ultimately hurt my kid. Think about all your ex’s worst qualities now think of your child adopting all those traits without you being there to help balance them out! I don’t know about yours but mine would not be equipped to deal with the real world. This isn’t to say that I’m light years better than my former ball and chain, but her and every woman in her family have mastered the art of perpetual victimhood.

ranger69danger · 2023-04-06T03:51:48+00:00

Yes, father of son, yes. I saw it with my father’s relation to his bio daughter, my step sister. You are doomed from the get-go as a parent in a failed marriage.

You will do you fucking due diligence. You will pay support and show up however you can.

Fuck the state. Fuck the police, most especially fuck the judges, and suuuuupperr FUCK the lawyers.

You send him a card and a present (pay someone to do it if you cannot) when his birthday and solstices come around.

You message him like he is your little homie whenever you can.

You show up in the ways that you can. Every fucking time.

geraltofoblivia · 2023-04-06T15:14:24+00:00

Similar situation. Accused of sexual allegations against my own daughter by my vindictive ex. The last year and a half were the hardest time in my life. I burned through almost every penny I had. Never gave up though. She never relented from wanting me to have like one visit a month or something stupid. In the end I never even got joint, it's all about the money I think for her. She wasn't going to give up that child support without a fight.

Women are absolutely evil in these situations. I'll never understand it.

Flight_Data_187 · 2023-04-06T03:27:04+00:00

I miss and love him. I just know emotionally I can't keep going this route. It's affected my career, my health. I appreciate the support. I feel like a quiter. I am doing this because I love him. Will always support him.

Flight_Data_187 · 2023-04-06T04:01:58+00:00

I appreciate the support everyone. I will still support him anyway I can. Nothing will ever change how much I love him and would be there for anything he needs. I do know and will say she loves that boy to death also. Even though we are divorcing, I will always love what we had, and that we brought a beautiful baby boy into the world.

ThenPersonality7555 · 2023-04-06T02:53:22+00:00

I'm sorry. I too went from being a great dad to STBX stopping at nothing to make me into garbage. Divorce is bad enough, doesn't seem to be a bottom to where she'll go.

WartimeDad · 2023-04-06T03:45:51+00:00

I admit I came close to giving up at times when the darkness was closing in. The problem is that my kids needed me. If you could just walk and have that be that, then maybe sure. But it isn’t. That boy misses you hard af. The trauma is coming from not being with you. If you leave, more trauma.

That’s what I clung to. Now, years out, I have a far stronger bond than I ever knew was possible. My kid sees me as “home.” Im so glad I fought.

But I def understand. It’s the hardest choice a person can make. Terribly painful. Be kind to yourself either way.

Federal_Cry_1146 · 2023-04-06T12:25:06+00:00

Fight and give it everything you’ve got. It’s you an your kid against someone trying to destroy you. If you were on the battlefield what would you do? Just keep going so you can’t look back in a few years and say I didn’t even try. Fucking give it 100%. We’re all praying for each other brother. We’re standing with you. If we could fight for you, we would. We’re in this together.

Sort your routines out:

Eat healthy from now Cut the cigs and drink Join the gym and pump iron a lot Meditate No amount of worry changed the future.

Stay focused and know that there are plenty that have been though it and are living. If you keep going.

dday_throwaway3 · 2023-04-06T14:18:33+00:00

> I love that little boy with all my heart, it kills me not to see him

If your son means so much to you, falling on your sword is not the answer. Stop lighting yourself on fire to keep other people warm. Go read the assertive bill of rights from "When I Say No I Feel Guilty". It will be mind blowing for you.

Flight_Data_187 · 2023-04-06T11:33:35+00:00

This is through the courts yes and with lawyers. She knows I love my son immensely. I have no evil intent or with any intent of not trying to be in my son's life. I don't want to hate her, we have been through alot. So basically I'm doing this for love of her and my son.

Flight_Data_187 · 2023-04-06T13:24:50+00:00

Sorry guys, I appreciate the support. I will support him and be in his life. Was the hardest decision, but feel my hearts in the right place. I've sent the lawyer the request to send to her attorney. I really am doing this out of love for my son and her.

Flight_Data_187 · 2023-04-06T18:39:12+00:00

I definitely will. I love him with all my heart.

MoronLoserF · 2023-04-06T15:36:03+00:00

It gets better don’t give up on custody. I had to fight for it as well. Not sure whats the problem with these moms and not realizing we were there the whole journey. I had to work it out to 60/40. She wanted 100%. My lawyer said 60/40 is as good as 50/50. But this is what you need to work it out to. Children need their father. Trust me your son misses you and wants you. He might not show it but deep down he wants a father.

I first thought they are starting to dislike because of all the non sense their mom is feeding them. But I had a gap of about 2 weeks when I was really sick and realized they missed me just as much.

Its hard at first staying away from them. But its a sacrifice. The court won’t deny a parent from seeing their children. Women are selfish emotional cunts don’t want to give an inch of your own blood. You definitely don’t want the son to learn any of the characters from the mother.

fewdo · 2023-04-06T10:35:59+00:00

Tell us more? Are you fighting through lawyers (which the kid won't see)? Have you gone to court yet?

Kids need dads. The time before court is a really good time to fight to be in your kid's life. Don't be mean but put in the effort to be allowed to teach your kid what you know about life.

You are valuable and your kid will be better off with you in his life.

Malaine1 · 2023-04-06T13:02:42+00:00

Sorry brother - I think I represent all of us when I say you’re in our thoughts and are here for you.

Longjumping_Proof_43 · 2023-04-06T17:22:13+00:00

Sorry bro

Sea-Palpitation-5288 · 2023-04-06T17:37:04+00:00

Not to be a dick but as someone who’s dad didn’t fight for them. I’d say fight. It means more than you think

Objective_Problem_90 · 2023-04-06T18:37:58+00:00

Your son needs you, Dad.. Fight like hell and do everything you can to be in his life.

Standard-Pound-9331 · 2023-04-07T00:47:51+00:00

It's not fair that a woman can play God and strip the father of seeing his kids. I'm living with that today. It's been 150 days since I seen my babies. I myself couldn't do that to my wife. So it makes me wonder what makes a human being do that to someone else especially when the kids love their daddy.

ReadyPosition4015 · 2023-04-07T02:30:46+00:00

Most of us have been there brother. Im there now with my dughter. I believe your son will eventually want to see you and know you. Good luck and keep up the fight.

Title	I give up
Author	Flight_Data_187
Upvotes	22
Comments	45
Date	April 6, 2023 2:29 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/12d6c4a/i_give_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/i-give-up.1212959 https://theredarchive.com/post/1212959

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