Tips for keeping spousal alimony low

Stonewall6789 · 2025-02-11T00:36:36+00:00

What state are you in? Here in Texas, courts frown on spousal support.

My now ex, tried hard for spousal support, we even went to court on it, and the judge ruled against her.

So, if you’re not in Texas, then try to get residency here.

RevolutionaryLaw8854 · 2025-02-11T00:26:41+00:00

I disagree with the lump sum.

Here’s why: you may die (your net worth and estate is lower and affects your beneficiaries), you may become disabled (mine goes away if I become permanently disabled - imagine not being able to work and having given away hundreds of thousands of dollars), she may die, she may co-habitate or remarry (she won’t but the irony is that she’s telling her friends that you were too controlling during the marriage - well now you are controlling her residency)

And, your income may increase. My nearly tripled after divorcing. She can’t go back and get more and now these payments are just a nuisance

Imsosadsoveryverysad · 2025-02-10T19:25:40+00:00

Texas doesn’t have it. Establish residency there if you can.

zemira_draper · 2025-02-10T19:09:12+00:00

Lump sum. I was in a similar situation and I gave my ex my share of the equity in the home in lieu of perpetual alimony.

Did it hurt? Yeah. Will it be worth it in the long run? I think so. Just knowing spousal support is not indefinitely a millstone around my neck has made it worthwhile tbh.

RichardCleveland · 2025-02-10T19:02:33+00:00

What state do you live in? In mine (MO) non-working spouses walk in with imputed income. You can then request a market analysis based around their education / field to raise that imputed income. If they don't have skills or an education, spousal maintenance can be extended to allow them the opportunity to do so.

justkickingtires111 · 2025-02-10T18:37:28+00:00

Don’t hit the 20 year mark, or the support length of time gets considerably worse. Also, convince to get back to work but if you are asking this question, why prolong the agony?

No-Walk-1633 · 2025-02-10T18:17:44+00:00

Well, if she doesn't know you want a divorce you could try to convince her to sign a postnup.

Notlikeotherguys · 2025-02-10T17:12:58+00:00

In some states proven infidelity gets you off the hook. I don't know if that applies here.

regertsrus · 2025-02-10T16:50:53+00:00

If she finds another man to live with her, that will potentially free you from alimony

guy_n_cognito_tu · 2025-02-10T16:33:21+00:00

In theory, you'd encourage her to go back to work BEFORE you file. That's the best way to avoid it, as there often isn't much you can do, especially if she hasn't worked in that long.

Beyond that, I highly recommend that you make sure that your agreement terminates alimony "upon marriage or cohabitation". The latter is important, as many women will simply for-go the marriage part, so that they can live off of two men at the same time.

greenringrayner · 2025-02-10T16:18:11+00:00

Unfortunately it doesn't matter what you are "ok" with, you will be following the law. The law regards her "refusal to work" as irrelevant - your continuance of the marriage for 13 years is seen as acceptance of her not working.

jimsmythee · 2025-02-10T16:17:44+00:00

My exwife tried to get 50% of my take home pay in alimony alone, and then she tried to get full custody of the kids, so to maximize CS $'s, and then use that as a reason to get high alimony. She always said she was "too sick to work" but she didn't have any evidence to prove it. 11 year marriage, 2 kids and she hadn't worked (other than a small gig for 2 months) in 4 years. She was (and still is) a pill popper that is always in the gray fog of pills.

First of all, I went for 50/50 custody. Judge granted me that. That minimized my CS obligation to her. Family court is usually reluctant to do that, because my exwife was adamant that she wanted me to get visitation only, but since she had a recent conviction & jail time for "DUI with kids in the car", that solidified my request for 50/50 custody.

Secondly, I had the judge give her an imputed income of minimum wage 40 hours. Reason being "there is no reason why she isn't working, not even part time, as both kids are in school.

Thirdly, I attacked her claim that she was "too sick to work." Fortunately, AZ law states that both parents must work full time, and if they're not working full time, they must be on disability. She didn't qualify for disability because she wasn't disabled (other than addiction to pills), and it was just a refusal to work.

In the end, the judge denied her claim for alimony, basically told her to get a job. And then with the 50/50 custody, and the fact that I pay the kids' health insurance, that left her with a small pittance in CS.

mesi130 · 2025-02-10T16:07:01+00:00

Does she have any college degree or skills? Most states it’s a simple formula with a little desecration by the judge at least in my state.

Title	Tips for keeping spousal alimony low
Author	softinvest
Upvotes	6
Comments	35
Date	February 10, 2025 4:04 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1im9k22/tips_for_keeping_spousal_alimony_low/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/tips-for-keeping-spousal-alimony-low.1543482 https://theredarchive.com/post/1543482

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