When did you realize it

dadeeeooo · 2024-06-14T07:21:13+00:00

I knew when I proposed that we had no business getting married. And she didn’t admit the same until 4 years after we separated. Now we’re still friends and a good coparenting team but it took some doing.

fixingmedaybyday · 2024-06-14T01:10:56+00:00

When I cracked a joke about poly relationships and someone pulled me aside to reveal that the ex wife’s new best friends were poly. Later found out they were trying to get her to leave me ever since they met (years in the making). Fast forward 3 years and nobody talks to each other now.

Farmearth · 2024-06-13T22:27:49+00:00

Went to counseling in the first 5 yrs, then again on and off for 25+ yrs. Three adult kids later after 25 yrs married it wasn't working anymore and I remember telling a friend going through divorce that I am going to head in that direction. 2+ years later, living separately and going through divorce. 30 years togeather and a mutual divorce. I am starting to look at it as a successful marriage, 30yrs, 3 great children, and a lot of good memories. Maybe everything doesn't last for ever?

ExtensionAir9675 · 2024-06-13T06:50:54+00:00

After 3 years of marriage, when she told me they are just friends while she knew he was hitting on her since day 1. Tried to reconcile but man that was too much. I only heard all type of excuse since it was difficult for her to mend thing, the next thing I did is kick her out. I made it easier for her. Lol. She is now with her AP and waiting for divorce in 3 weeks. Guess what I got my new house, and its full of peace and positivity. Am i hurt ? Yes . Do i regret ? Hell no.. 🤣

WittyBeautiful7654 · 2024-06-13T01:55:10+00:00

I'm hindsight i always knew she's break my heart. Told her she would. Maybe I made it happen.

Strict-Front-2375 · 2024-06-13T01:39:20+00:00

It took me almost a year to accept it was over. But I think I knew the night she cheated, even though I didn't know at the time she was cheating.

She was two weeks into a trip overseas, where we had been facetiming day and night, and texting in between. She told me during our nightly facetime that she was going out drinking with friends, and wouldn't be able to text like she normally was. I told her have a good time honey, it's fine.

During the cab ride there, we had been texting, and I get a 'The cab is here, I love you, I'll text you as soon as I'm done'. That was about 9:30 PM her time.

I wouldn't get a text until 2:30 PM the next day. A single text saying 'Sorry, finishing up now, I'll talk to you later'. And during that time, while she wasn't responding to my texts, I felt the most twisting dread of my life. I didn't want to admit that's what I thought was happening, and denied it for 10 weeks, but that was when she was cheating, and she never really talked to me after that text again. But looking back, I felt in my gut that it was over then.

Edit: It's one reason I harp so much here on the importance of accepting that when your ex changes overnight, cheating is involved, and when cheating is involved, it's 100% over on her end. It took me a lot of research, reading, discussion, and therapy to understand that simple truth, and if any guys can short circuit that year long denial stage I had, it's too their huge benefit.

MrCleanWI · 2024-06-13T01:24:38+00:00

I never did, she blindsided me by telling me she wanted a divorce in November

yourcarlosdanger · 2024-06-12T22:15:10+00:00

I never realized it. I was too invested in the blue pill conditioning. Now that Im Red Pilled I see all the signs the second they appear.

MidniteOG · 2024-06-12T21:53:13+00:00

The morning after our wedding when she wanted to go home to “spend time with her family” instead of sleep in, get a nice breakfast, or bang again.

letsbehavingu · 2024-06-12T19:21:38+00:00

When she said she was on birth control and then said she was pregnant on date four. I didn’t marry her. She has some cheated and bailed. Near miss

T-rayIII · 2024-06-12T18:05:22+00:00

We were hanging out with a group of friends at a cookout and it got brought up that I might get a vasectomy. I mentioned that I had changed my mind because I thought I might want another kid someday. Well that turned into an argument and my first thought was that I don’t want to get one because I don’t want to keep the joy of having a child away from someone I might end up with in the future.

Flapique · 2024-06-12T17:53:17+00:00

When I was served with divorce papers LOL. I was like "wow... this person really fucking hates me!" This made it much easier to move on once I saw how vile she was and the length she was willing to go to separate me from my children and assets.

andyc20041 · 2024-06-12T17:10:54+00:00

I tried to tell myself 15 years ago we could make it work. I’ve just started to realize it’s not going to. We’ve been married for just under 20 years.

Odd-Yoghurt1869 · 2024-06-12T17:04:32+00:00

Fuck, when I first met her. I should have left.

JamJarBlinks · 2024-06-12T16:30:51+00:00

When I started anxiously freezing before entering home, not knowing what mood to expect.

The cheating was the final straw and necessary trigger to press eject.

Least_Respect_7686 · 2024-06-12T16:19:04+00:00

For me, it was about 10 years in when I started to become afraid of upsetting her.

who_tf_woke_me · 2024-06-12T16:16:42+00:00

When I developed feelings for another woman.

Remarkable_Egg492 · 2024-06-12T16:14:51+00:00

When I found out that she was talking romantically to other men. I had had a gut feeling that she was cheating on me either physically or emotionally for quite a while, but when I saw the actual proof I knew it was over.

Hes_a_Snowman · 2024-06-12T16:12:02+00:00

About 4 years in

This_Train340i · 2024-06-12T15:52:20+00:00

A couple days before the marriage. I remember telling my brother that I didn't want to get married to a cheater and he basically told me to do it anyway. Some bro, huh? It didn't take long for her to figure it out and she asked for a divorce within the first 3 months of marriage. Divorce was finalized 10 months from the date of marriage. I was completely indifferent to her, but angry with myself for a long time. All good now brothers! Happily single, and I will NEVER get married again. There's zero upside in it for a man.

SickBoyNoFuture · 2024-06-12T15:39:34+00:00

hour

Title	When did you realize it
Author	Smart-Protection-562
Upvotes	11
Comments	35
Date	June 12, 2024 3:34 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1de9ld8/when_did_you_realize_it/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/when-did-you-realize-it.1521347 https://theredarchive.com/post/1521347

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